Changes

I slipped out of my bed and padded towards the kitchen, hearing the faint clatter of pots and pans and the low rumble of some country radio station. I stepped into the doorway and leaned against the wall, watching as Allie glided around my kitchen.

She wore a pair of bright blue pajama shorts that exposed the tanned skin of her lean thighs and one of my large t-shirts. It hung loosely on her small frame, the sleeve falling off her shoulders slightly. Her long wavy hair had been tamed into a high ponytail, showcasing the smooth skin of her neck. A small smile played on her lips, as she swung her hips back and forth and mouthed the words to the current song.

At the end of the song, she spun around and reached to change the station. Her bright eyes landed on mine and her smile immediately widened. "Good morning, sunshine," she giggled before turning back to the food on the stove.

"Morning, Al," I let out a small chuckle, moving towards the island and pulling out a stool for myself.

Allie had been staying at my place for the past few days and everything had been going pretty smoothly. During the day, she seemed happy and almost carefree, a drastic change from the sobbing mess that arrived at the foot of my stairs. But at night, it was a different story. I often woke up in the dead of night to find a small body tucked underneath my arm or a head resting against my torso. She always made a point of leaving before I woke up in the morning, so I decided against confrontation. If she wanted to talk, she would.

As for the Allie Dilemma, I pushed it aside. It wasn't on the forefront of either of our minds and I wasn't sure it ever would be. Whenever I thought about it, Jon's words were immediately replayed in my mind. Friends have drunk hookups all the time. It wasn’t something that I didn’t know. Allie and I had hooked up numerous times before and I knew it wasn’t uncommon among other pairs of best friends. But Jon’s words simply reminded me that maybe that was all it was. Maybe it was just a drunk hookup. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was becoming a little stir crazy because of the lack of bunnies in my bed. There were so many different scenarios and explanations, but there was one 'maybe' that I couldn't push away—the most dangerous one. The one that maybe I had developed feelings for Allie. That maybe Erica's constant nagging had been correct this whole time. That maybe I'd fallen for the cliché But I had convinced myself that it was her nagging that caused me to think this way and that it really wasn't true.

“Here you go,” Allie pushed a heavy plate of food across the counter, along with a freshly made mug of coffee. She grabbed her own mug and jumped onto the counter, giving me the perfect view of her tanned legs.

I groaned inwardly; she was making this too difficult. I quickly switched my gaze from her legs to the plate in front of me, letting out a small moan at the smell of the food, “God, you're the best, Al.”

She giggled, swinging her legs back and forth off the edge of the counter.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked through a mouthful of food. For the past few days, Allie had wanted to keep herself busy—spending time with her family and friends, working out, and all sorts of different things. She claimed that it was because she had missed so much of the summer in Buffalo already, but I knew it wasn't true. She was preoccupying her mind in order to keep her problems off of it.

She simply shrugged, “I dunno. I'm kind of tired.”

Her comment almost launched me into a conversation about her midnight ventures into mi bedroom, but I refrained and merely nodded my head. “We could do nothing all day,” I chuckled lightly, stuffing another forkful of food into my mouth.

She let loose a large grin and clapped her hands together excitedly, “I'm totally down for that!”

She hopped off the counter, dumped her coffee into the sink, and skipped out of the room cheerily. I shook my head before diving back into the food she had made for me. After finishing most of it, I pushed myself off of the stool and cleaned up whatever mess Allie had made in the kitchen.

“I got movies!” Allie sing-songed happily as she waddled into the living room with a stack of movies in her arms. She plopped down on the floor, scattering the cases on the floor before sorting through them.

After stuffing the last dish in the dishwasher, I turned towards the living room and rested my head in my hands. She looked so comfortable, sprawled out on the floor sorting through movies. Almost as if she lived here. A small grin found its way onto my lips. I wouldn't mind her living with me; it'd actually make my home feel more like a home. Having her there in the morning, gliding around the kitchen with ease. Having someone to wrap my arm around while I watched reruns of my favorite shows and basked in the relaxing tempo of the offseason. Having someone there to tell me that I wasn't screwing up. I sighed heavily before rubbing my palm down my face and pushing the thoughts out of my mind. Erica's comments were getting to me, but I was trying my best to block the dangerous thoughts out.

I watched her for a few more minutes before making my way towards her and flopping onto the couch. She picked up each case for a few seconds, inspecting the title and sometimes reading the back, before she would discard it into one of the two piles she was creating on the floor. When the two piles had grown to her satisfaction, she gathered up the chosen cases and stacked them on the coffee table before me. Her hand hovered above the pile before she quickly plucked up a single case and slid the disc into the DVD player.

As the screen illuminated and the Mean Girls main menu appeared, she giggled and dove onto the couch, landing beside me and tucking herself into my side. I let out a low growl, “Allie...”

“What, Pat?” She asked innocently, feigning stupidity. I sent her pointed glare.

“Oh!” She giggled, “Do you not want to watch this?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “If you don't want to watch it, get up and change it, Patty,” she teased. I groaned in response and simply tucked my head into her shoulder.

“That's what I thought,” she grinned triumphantly, grabbing the remote and clicking the play button. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in tightly, pressing my chest against her back and resting my chin on her shoulder.

After a few minutes of watching the pointless comedy—which I had been forced to watch several times growing up—I drifted off to the sound of Allie's giggle.

♢♢♢♢

Throughout the rest of the day, Pat and I primarily spent our time on the couch, watching more movies (The Lion King and Miracle at Pat's request) and some old cartoons. We ordered pizza for lunch and used the coffee table for our plates, sitting criss-cross on the floor. After a few more stupid movies and a couple short naps, we decided to venture outside for the first time that day. The sky was dark and sprinkled with small stars, glowing brightly against the dark backdrop. We walked down to the beach and made a small bonfire in Pat's fire pit.

“Can't you just stay here?” Pat questioned as he pulled me into his lap and kissed the top of my head.

I reluctantly shook my head, “You know I can't, Pat.”

He sighed, “I know, but I was just hoping that...Y'know that—uh—”

“That coming home would make me want to stay,” I finished for him. I ran a hand through my hair, “It did, Pat. It really did. I want to stay, but it's unrealistic.”

“But why?” he whined childishly, “You can stay here, with me!”

“I brought a weekend's worth of clothes,” I explained simply.

“I'll buy you clothes,” he retorted quickly, “Problem solved.”

I sighed, “I wouldn't let you do that, Pat.”

“But why, Al?” he prodded, “It's not an issue for me and I want to do it. You deserve everything a man can give you, so I think I could at least buy you clothes.”

I blushed lightly at his comment, “I'll think about it, okay?”

I felt him smile against my back, pressing a kiss to my spine, “Okay.”

For the next hour or so, we simply sat quietly in the dark, staring up at the sky and pointing out different stars and weird-shaped clouds. Pat held me tightly, kissing my spine and shoulder every so often.

“Remember that time we snuck out to the beach and when skinny dipping?” Pat whispered, chuckling lightly at the memory.

I nodded as a large smile spread across my face, “It was one of my favorite nights.”

I was sprawled out across my bed, wrapped haphazardly in my bright pink blanket. It was a Saturday night of my senior year, but I was grounded for having a boy in my room when my parents weren't home. So far, I'd spent the entire night holed up in my bedroom, refusing to acknowledge my parents.

My phone vibrated underneath my pillow and I hurriedly grasped it, sliding it open to the new messages I had received.

Sam O'Callahan (8:39 PM): I'm really sorry about getting you grounded, text me if you need anything :)
Patrick Kane (12:34 AM): Sam just told me what happened, want me to punch him for you?
Patrick Kane (12:35 AM): for me, too. Dickhead stole my drinking buddy
Patrick Kane (12:41 AM): fuck this, I'm coming to get you

As I read through the messages, my phone began to vibrate uncontrollably. I quickly swiped at it and brought it to my ear.

“Hello?” I answered quietly, standing up from my bed and peeking my head out into the hallway. It was dark and all the other doors were shut. The only visible light streamed through the window from the back porch lamp.

I slipped back into my room, just in time to hear Pat respond. “Look outside.”

At his command, I ran over to my window, which looked out onto our front lawn. I pushed back my curtain and peered out at the street. Pat was standing in the middle of the pavement, waving his right hand around frantically while his other was pressed to his ear.

“What the hell, Pat?” I whispered-yelled, “Why are you here?”

He simply chuckled, “Let's hang out.”

“It's almost one in the morning, Pat. And I'm grounded,” I sighed into the phone, dropping the curtain and turning back to the center of my room.

“Live a little, Barnes.”

“I don't—”

He interrupted me quickly, “Good. Now, come outside. I'll see you in a second.”

Before I could protest, the line disconnected and I let out an agitated groan. He always did this to me. I ran a hand through my hair before throwing on one of my favorite sweatshirts—Pat's varsity hockey crew neck. I peeked my head back into the hallway, making sure that no one had stirred from the sounds of our conversation, and slipped into the dark corridor. I quickly made my way downstairs, sticking towards the wall and avoiding all of the creaky panels.

“Finally!” Pat threw his hands into the air when I stepped out of my house and into the dim light of the moon. I hurriedly shushed him before sending him a cold glare.

When I finally got close enough to him, he pulled me in for a tight hug, placing a kiss to the top of my head. The slight stench of alcohol permeated my nostrils, but before I could interrogate him about his activities earlier in the night, he pulled away. “Let's go.”

I nodded and followed him down the street, “Where are we going?”

He waved off my question and simply continued walking. After a few minutes, I recognized the route we were taking, the route we had walked on many summer days and sleepless nights. The route to the lake. It was the place we went whenever one of us was having an issue. It was where we resolved many of our pointless arguments and where we quietly confided in each other with our biggest secrets. Taking this path meant that something was up—or Pat simply had the urge to look at the stars and lay on the sand. But that was rarely the case. He always poked fun at me for being so interested in the night sky.

But when we arrived at the beach, he plopped down in the sand with a large groan and threw his head into his hands. I sat down carefully next to him and wrapped my arm around his broad shoulders, “Wanna talk about it?”

He looked up at me with sad eyes, which nearly broke my heart, “Cassie cheated on me... Again.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she did. Cassie was the biggest slut in our school, getting with practically every guy and their brother. Most guys were smart enough to stray away from her when I came to dating, but Pat wasn't. If his blonde hair didn't give it away, this poor decision clearly did. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the batch. Somehow, Cassie convinced him to date her. At every party and outing, she clung to his arm, practically draping her entire body across him. That was until some other guy showed a slither of interest in her. With one prolong look or simple touch, she'd slip out of Pat's grip and charm the other into her bed. After a few months of dating, it had become a weekend ritual. Why was this weekend any different than the past?

I sighed, “Pat...”

He held up his hand, stopping my pending lecture, “Please don't. Don't lecture me about her. This isn't about her.”

I nodded understandingly. The Cassie lecture had gotten pretty old for me, too. “What's it about, Pat?”

“Me,” he answered quickly, pushing a hand through his unruly curls, “Why doesn't any girl want me?” I nearly laughed at his answer. Girls were practically lining up at his door for him; he couldn't be that oblivious. But he continued.

“Why can't anyone like me for me? Not because I'm good at hockey. Not because I can get into parties or am incredibly good looking,” he cracked a smile before it fell back into a tight frown, “No one wants me.”

I gave him a nudge, causing him to peer up at me quickly, “I like you for you.” I sent him a cheeky grin before dropping my hand to his waist and pulling him tightly into my side.

“That's not what I meant, Al,” he groaned, but a tiny smile was evident in his voice.

“I know,” I quipped, “But we'll worry about your issue later. We're young. No need to worry about it now. Live a little, Kane.”

He chuckled as I mocked him, sitting up straighter and wrapping a heavy arm around my shoulders, “Enlighten me, Barnes. How should I live a little?”

“Let's go skinny dipping,” I clapped my hands excitedly, motioning towards the water before us. I quickly stood up and pulled the sweatshirt over my head, exposing my tiny sports bra. I slipped out of my running shorts and darted towards the water. Once I was close enough, I shed my last garments and plunged into the cold waters of the lake. When I surfaced for air, Pat was running towards the water with his pants pooled around his ankles and his shirt halfway over his head.

“No funny business, Kane,” I called out into the dark of the night, swimming further away from the shore.

Pat chuckled quietly, obviously replaying the memory in his head. A large smile had taken up my face as I did the same. Once the memory had played out, I quickly nudged Pat.

He looked up at me with his cheery blue eyes, a crisp white smile painted across his lips. I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Let's go skinny dipping.” And with that, I took off towards the water, with Pat trailing only a few steps behind. After discarding my clothes into a small pile on the sand, I immersed myself into the dark water. It had the same icy chill as it did years before, but as I looked towards Pat, I realized how much our situation had changed. We weren’t the same people as we were before. We weren’t kids.

Pat stood on the edge of the shore, the water rippling across his feet. He muscles moved smoothly under his pale skin. Each movement was emphasized by the dim light of the moon, accentuating each nook and cranny in his defined body. As he tore off his t-shirt, my eyes were glued to his chest. His broad, sturdy chest. It was definitely the most attractive part of him, acting like a magnet for my eyes. Once the flimsy piece of fabric was discarded near my clothes, his eyes locked on mine and caught me staring. A smirk spread slowly across his lips.

“No funny business, Barnes.”