Dear You

Dear you,

The funny thing is I use to be so scared of losing you, fearing that I'd be alone but now seeing that we're no longer friends all it did was show me that all you enjoy doing is putting others down to make yourself look that much better.
I hope you never feel the fear that I felt because I know that it hurts and it's suffocating to think that if you lose that one person that you'll have no one.
Since we broke that friendship I have learned that I have so many people that care about me and that I have always had friends outside of you; You put on a strong facade to try and 'protect' yourself from others, when really what you did was push everyone away. When you lose that one friendship that pushed us away from each other I hope you see what I've seen since the start.
You always need someone to make yourself feel whole. You can't be yourself without someone. I will always care about you as a friend, they put that thought into your head that I cared more deeply but that's never been the case. I hope you survive in the real world of hurt and pain, because you haven't experienced half of it. You think you have, yet you still act like a child when it's time to deal with those problems.
You thought I'd always be there to assure you yet now where am I as I watch and listen as a guy tells me he's going to steal your boyfriend. I tell him to go for it, knowing the pain that you have caused your boyfriend, I want him to find someone who will treat him well. No I didn't always get along with him, but I know that he wouldn't be unhappy and put into mental wards because you cause him to have problems that put him there.
You never thought about anyone but yourself. You've always been addicted to things like sex, and I know that to get that you'd destroy any relationship. I've watched you destroy relationships just to be with one person who you then destroy another relationship in turn to get with another guy. As you grow older I hope you see that what you are doing is only hurting yourself, you think you're going to marry every person that you're with, yet you break up with that person a couple months later.
You will soon run out of people to be with, and people soon start to see your hurtful ways.
Yes, I do protect myself and I do not enjoy putting myself out there, but that's because you always did that for me. Never giving me the chance to show my real side, yet always willing to judge and use me. You judge a lot of people, you talk behind their backs and all I would do is sit and listen, never once did the thought cross my mind that you may be doing the same thing with other people yet talking about me.
I will not take that first step and talk to you first, to give you that satisfaction of thinking that I'll always crawl back to you. If you wanted to be friends then you would have questioned me as to why I've currently stopped talking to you and stopped trying to please you in anyway possible.
To be honest, I've always tried to be there for you, to show you that I'm better than what you think yet you would never give me that chance.
You think trying to steal my current friends will make me depressed or piss me off, but all it does is show how you can't let things go; you always think you have to better yourself; try to make yourself better than me, it doesn't bother me much. It just shows how insecure you truly are.
I've always been insecure, knowing that going to such a small school would cause problems that I've never get to escape my past. I thought once I got to high school things would be forgotten, yet all you seem to do is bring those things up. What does that do for you? Does it give you some sort of excitement? Really all it did to me was cause me to see that you're still a child who can't grow up. You will never grow up.