My Own Loser

I'm in that stage of waking up where you're awake but you still have that fluffy feeling of sleep when your eyes are closed. I reach under my pillow and grab my iphone and I have about a bazillion texts all from Zack.

Oh, Zack...

His dad, Mark Merrick, is obsessed with two things: Twitter and our YouTube. He will come to vidcon and send a tweet when he sees us. “I see Jack!” is one tweet he sent.

And our other friend, Rian, who's dating Cassadee Pope, went to go watch her on The Voice and Mark tweeted “I see Rian.”

I pry my eyes open more to read the texts from Wacky Zacky as he's saved in my phone as.

“A”
“L”
“E”
“X”
“!”
“answer me goddamn it”
“you left your beanie at my house”
“if you don't answer me i'll do unspeakable things to that beanie”
“im bored”
“unspeakable things I tell you”
“hey look, its 4:20”
“it still counts if its 4:20am right?”
“you know who we should fuck?”
“the police.”
“the police, alex.”
“im so drunk.”
“its all jaime's fault”
“you know jaime”
“from pierce the veal”
“veil?”
“veal.”
“im hungry”
“for veal”
“gross”
“more like cheetos”
“hey dude if you text me back you can feel my abs”
“i have to go work out”
“hime says hi”
“i'm going to sleep”
“tell the kat I said he looks like a skunk”
“lets go to the zoo”
“and put jack in the skunk habitat”
“habitat is a fun word”
“okay its sleepytime”
“not sexytime”
“sleepytime”

I sigh. Him and Jaime (Hime) should never go out drinking. But that was pretty good material for a new video.

I screenshot all the texts and roll over.

Jack got up a few minutes ago whispering that he was making pancakes. He makes the best pancakes. I swear.

I get up and change into my American flag skinny jeans and a black t-shirt and a red beanie, covering up my weird mess of hair.

I walk into the kitchen of our apartment and surprisingly, Jack is actually making pancakes. But not so surprisingly, in his boxers. He has the radio on and I Don't Care by Icona Pop is playing. He's using the spatula as a microphone and shaking his ass all around, singing along. I hold in my laughter and just lean up against the doorway, smiling.

“I DON'T CARE! I LOVE IT!” He yells. He flips the pancakes that are on the griddle and then does a 360 twirl. He starts falling and I can only assume it's because in that twirl he saw me.

He steadies himself and turns around, looking at me.

“Oh. Um. Hey, Lex.”

“Hey. Zack texted me a lot last night. Him and Jaime from PTV went drinking. I wonder if they got together.”

“Alex, you and I both know Jaime has a thing for Vic.”

“Yeah...” I smile. Jaime is falling hard for Vic.

“But I made you some pan-cocks.” he hands me a plate of perfectly golden, round pancakes. I smile and set them down on the counter.

“Syrup?” I ask. Jack tosses me our giant bottle of syrup and I pour tons on to my pancakes. Fuck yeah.

“So we have to edit that video today.” I say, jamming a pancake in my mouth.

“You mean I do. You won't do shit.” Jack says, smiling. He doesn't really care, he just likes reminding me that I'm shit with editing.

“And then I think we should go shopping.”

“Why?” Jack asks, pouring the last of the batter into the pan.

“Zack has done unspeakable things to my gray beanie.” I say, putting my plate in the sink.