Boys With Tattoos

Brian.

I didn't put the phone up to my ear until everyone was out of the house. I could feel myself growing nervous. I had no idea why I was feeling this way. She's just a girl. The girl you love.

I listened to the sound of her light breathing on the phone before speaking, "Hey." That's all I could come up with?

There was a slight chuckle from her, "Hey yourself. Happy Birthday."

It's funny, because I didn't even realize it was my birthday, until she said that. I mean yeah I knew it was, but it didn't feel like it. I was just too wrapped around other things.

"Thanks," I said, trying to think of something else to say. What else could I say?

She beat me to it, "So, you digging Michigan?" She's avoiding it, which isn't a good sign.

I looked around the room, trying to keep my thoughts in order before saying, "Yeah, it's no Cali, but it's pretty cozy."

Donna scoffed, "Say that in the winter time." Again, avoiding the big elephant.

"I don't do snow." If she's avoiding the subject, then I might as well just play along.

She laughed, "It's not that bad, actually. Just sucks when you can't get to your car, because there's five feet of snow between your car and the house."

I chuckled, "My Aunt lives in Ohio and when I stayed with my mom, we would fly out to her house for Christmas. Well the first time we went there, I was probably about five years old and I never seen snow before, so my mom got me really excited for it. We get there and there's no snow on the ground at all,"Hearing Donna's laugh made me pause, but kept going after she stopped, "I went to bed all upset that I didn't get to see snow. So the next day, I wake up and look outside. Everything is completely covered in snow. I got so excited and decided to go play in it. I didn't bother to change into warmer clothes, I just went outside in sandals, my racecar pajamas, and a sweater-"

Donna scoffed, "You did not!"

I smirked, "I did! I got outside and dived head first into the snow that was on the front yard. For some strange reason I didn't think snow was cold. I screamed so loud, the neighbors woke up. My mom rushed outside and couldn't believe what I did. She had to take me to the hospital, because apparently it was below fifty degrees out that day and I ended up getting frost bite."

The sound of her laughter made me smile. It's been a while since I heard her laugh.

"How did you not know that snow was cold? I mean isn't that common sense!"

I barked out a laugh, "I was five, Donna! I also thought I had superpowers, too."

She snickered, "Me too! Oh my god, I used to say I could read people's minds. My mom let me think that until I tried it on my kindergarden teacher, who shot me down right there and told me there was no such thing."

"What a bitch. You were five and had an imagination. Big deal."

Donna chuckled some more, "I know, right?! Way to rain on my parade. It's okay, though. My mom bitched her out, after I came home crying."

That made me smile, "Did she apologize to you?"

"No, she quit."

I busted out in laughter, "You're joking!"

Donna tried to keep herself from laughing, "I'm being dead serious."

More laughter escaped through my lips, "Ah, that's too funny."

"It really was, so what was your superpower?"

I laid my head down on a pillow, "Invisibility. Mine lasted for a day."

"A day?" She asked and I knew she was smiling.

Which caused me to roll my eyes, "Yes, a day. I told my Dad about my special powers and he pretended that it was so cool, he even went along with it, too. He'd pretend he didn't see me or he would try to sit on me. I thought I was the coolest kid ever until my mom found out. She told me that there was no such thing and that I needed to stop watching too much TV, she even bitched at my Dad for going along with it."

Donna scoffed, "Are you serious? That's messed up. You were five!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm pretty sure that's when I started hating my Mom."

She decided to change the subject, "So you hate snow and you hate your mom. Anything else you hate?" That you're avoiding the real reason of this conversation. I had to bite mu tongue from saying that.

I chose the first thing that came to mind, "Uh, I hate that people don't know how to drive."

She agreed, "Me too! Or the people that don't know how to do the speed limit."

I finally realized that I couldn't take it anymore, "Donna?"

The line was quiet for a moment.

"Yeah?"

The nervousness was now turning to knots in my stomach, "I think we need to talk."

Of course, she tried to play dumb, "We are talking."

"Oh come on. You know we have to talk about it."

"Well what if I don't want to?" She asked, getting an attitude.

I sighed, "Fine. Don't talk, just listen. I know you were highly medicated when you told me you loved me, but I wasn't. I told you I loved you and it was the truth."

"We barely know each other, Brian. You can't just fall in love with someone in a month." She said, trying to deny herself.

I wasn't going to let that happen, "Bullshit. I knew the first day I met you. The way you threw that football in Johnny's face, I knew that you were the one for me."

She sighed, "Brian, how can you say that?"

"You're telling me that when you first met me, you didn't feel anything for me?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't answer it.

The line stayed quiet and I scoffed, "See? So why are you asking me how I can say that?"

She became frustrated, "Because, Brian! You don't get it! You don't even know me so how can you be in love with me?"

"Are you kidding me right now? I know that you're most amazing girl I have ever met in my life. I know that you have anxiety and the stupid, little things in life make you OCD. Because of that, I can't park crooked in a parking spot anymore, because I know you would freak out if you saw it. I know that you're protective over the people you love. I know that your Dad walked out on you when you were a kid, but Courtney's Dad filled the role. I know that you like to run away from your problems and I know your last boyfriend meant the world to you." I explained, trying to show her what I feel.

She didn't speak for a few seconds, but I heard a sniffle. My heart sank to my stomach, "Donna? What's wrong? Was it something I said?"

"You're right.. My last boyfriend did mean the world to me. I was in love with him."

I was starting to think that there was more to the story than what she told me before.

She sighed, "Brian, I'm sorry, but I can't do this-"

"Oh, no you don't. You are not going to shut me out again! What are you so scared of? What happened between you and your ex boyfriend? I want the truth." I exclaimed, while looking up at the ceiling.

Donna took a minute to think and just as I thought she was going to hang up, "Last January I flew to New York to see Ian. Nobody knew about it, because I knew they would never let me go. The only person that knew was Ian. He had everything planned out from the minute I got off the plane. I loved him so much. He was the perfect guy. We had a romantic dinner, a stroll in the park, and then he took me home to his apartment. His parents weren't home. They were gone for the weekend. Ian told me that he wanted to make love to me. I was scared because it was my first time. He assured me that everything would be fine." She stopped for a minute to sniffle. I felt like I knew what was coming next, I just hope I'm wrong.

She continued on, "We had sex and fell asleep in each other's arms. I woke up the next morning to someone knocking at the door. I pretended to stay asleep while Ian went to get it. He was taking a little bit, so I decided to go see what was taking so long. God, I wish I didn't. I wish I would've just stayed in the bedroom. I saw him kissing another girl. She was his girlfriend and he told me that the long distance thing wasn't working out. He got what he wanted and he dumped me."

The emotions I was feeling right now were all over the place. I want to find this asshole and kill him. And I literally mean kill.

Donna's cries became louder and I clenched my jaw, "If I ever meet that mother fucker, he's dead, do you hear me? He's fucking dead!"

"Brian-"

I cut her off, "No, Donna. I am so fucking sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. Really."

This confused her, "What are you sorry for?"

"Everything. I had no idea and I'm here trying to push us together when you don't want it."

Donna groaned a little, "Brian, it's not that I don't want it. I really do want to be with you. I just don't think I can. I don't think I know how."

This conversation was clearly not going how I planned, "Don't let him ruin your life, D. He's just a fucking scum bag."

"I was doing good, actually, until you popped up in my life. It will only get worse if we get together. My anxiety will explode and plus I'm just not ready yet. Please, Brian just let us be friends." She pleaded, probably with tears rolling down her cheeks.

I travel half across the country for the girl I love and she tells me that she just wants to be friends? I felt like shit. Knowing that I had no intention of leaving her alone, I knew I had no other choice.

"Friends sounds great."