A Single Daffodil

Stayed at Niall’s last night. He was at the party last night too!! No clue where Jayden is. Probably with Liam? Text me if you need anything, mi amore! I’ll be back at the hotel in an hour!

I rolled onto my back and dropped my phone onto the pillow next to me. This, followed by three missed calls from Jayden, were the first things I woke up to this morning.

Not that I slept, really.

It was that kind of thing where I was laying in the dark long enough that it was hard to say whether or not I actually fell asleep. I spent most of the night cringing into my pillow every time I thought about last night’s events. Stepping on Louis. Causing a scene with the waiter. Running away from Harry. Hiding behind a building from Harry.

I pulled the covers over my face and cringed again.

I didn’t even want to look online to see what kind of trash was written about me. I bet several “close” sources reported to the media about me being an attention whore or that the whole waiter accident was me acting out because Harry had a girlfriend.

Oh God. Harry had a girlfriend.

I sat up and moaned. Was there a chance that maybe last night wasn’t real at all? A nightmare, perhaps? Could I borrow a time machine from that Doctor Who fellow and just rewind everything?

At some point, I rolled out of bed and changed out of my pajamas and into a loose pale blue sundress and beige sandals. I could either sit in here and think about how ridiculously awkward and strange I acted last night, or I could explore the town and find the nearest cafe. It was almost noon, and I was ravenous.

Just as I was brushing out my hair and tying it up into a loose ballerina bun, there were three raps at the door. I stopped fiddling with the loose strands and looked over at the door, wondering if I imagine it. It couldn’t have been a maid because I had the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the doorknob. It definitely wasn’t Sophia since an hour for her, translated into three hours. She was never on time.

I dropped the hairbrush and walked over. It was probably Jayden coming home from an “epic” night with Shawn White and/or Liam and he was here to tell me all about it. I wasn’t against the idea of lending an ear, if it meant we could eat fish and chips while doing it.

I shouted at Jayden as I walked over to the door. “Jayden, I thought I gave you my spare key so you wouldn’t have to keep--”

I let out an inaudible gasp when I swung the door open. I blinked a few times and rotated the door handle in my grip just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

“Vita.” He said in his gravelly, British accent. 


I stared at Harry, completely motionless. I was cornered. For a brief moment, I seriously considered jumping out my bedroom window but then realized it wasn’t really worth killing myself over.

But know that I did consider it. Briefly.

I cleared my throat, trying to regain my posture. So, how was this all going to play out? What did he expect me to say? Was I suppose to hug him? I didn’t know what our boundaries were.

“How did you know I was here?” My voice sounded somewhat strangled, but what did you expect? I was completely caught off guard by his presence.

He quirked a small smile, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. “I have my ways.”

What he probably meant to say was, ‘I googled where the USA Team were staying and made an educated guess you’d be here too.’

“Can I come in?” He asked politely, nodding to the room behind me.

“Oh yeah, um, sure.” I stepped out of the way to let him in. When I closed the door behind us, I tried to prevent a visual cringe from appearing on my face. I was being so awkward.

“Wow, now this is an extravagant hotel room.” Harry’s back was facing me as he surveyed the room. I didn’t respond at first, mostly because I was staring at his back muscles through his flimsy white t-shirt. He really was bigger. And stronger-looking too. It’s amazing what a year did.

“Yeah, it’s pretty swanky alright.” I nervously made small talk. “You should see the players’ rooms. You’d think they were royalty or something.”

Very small talk.

Harry finally turned around to face me. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth wasn’t exactly smiling, but the corners were turned up. His face was angled down, so his green eyes were just slightly hidden beneath his long eyelashes. I gulped.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” He said finally, his words came out like a soft chuckle. “And that you’re here. In London.”

While I’ve yearned to look into his beautiful green eyes, I couldn’t find any confidence in myself to do it now, so I tactfully avoided his stare by shifting my gaze at the window behind him. It was bright and sunny outside.

I leaned my body against the nearest wall, folding my arms behind my back. I shrugged. “I’m surprised you recognized me. My hair has been off-putting for everyone.”

There goes that small talk again. I was useless.

“No. Not for me.” He replied. “I’d recognize those blue eyes anywhere.”

My shoulders dropped. My heart was pulsating rapidly beneath my chest and my normal breathing pattern suddenly non-existent. I had to clench my hands into tight fists to stop them from shaking.

He wasn’t allowed to say things like that to me. Not when he had a girlfriend.

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” He looked awkward suddenly, probably realizing what he said might have not been appropriate, under our given circumstances. “And I’m dying to catch up with yeh. How about we get something to eat?”

“Is that a good idea?” I asked. “I mean, because you’re...well, you’re you and you know, there will be people taking pictures and...”

I can’t believe there was a time where I could actually speak normally to Harry. It used to be effortless and easy. Now it felt almost laborious and complex, like I was learning a new language.

My neurotic blubbering made Harry grin. “I know a couple of spots off the radar, Vita. You’re in my town now. Remember?”

He wasn’t entirely incorrect.



We ended up at a French Bistro called La Poule Au Pot. The restaurant was comically cliche: hanging baskets, wooden furnishings and rustic decor that looked older than the Universe. When Harry mentioned food, I thought maybe we’d go somewhere a little less extreme, like a cafe, or McDonalds. Not a five star elegant bistro. I looked down at my outfit and sighed. I wasn’t even dressed for the occasion.

We were led to a table set for two by the window, which was thankfully protected from the street outside with the tall potted plants. They even had a wonderful, albeit small, collection of flowers planted near the windows. To keep myself calm, I carefully identified each type of flower. Summer Snowflakes, Rosebay Willowherbs, Peonies. If Maggie were here, she’d be waving over the waiter to ask who they bought their flowers from.

A small twinge turned in my stomach. I felt homesick.

“The creme brulee is suppose to be amazing here.” Harry’s voice brought me back to reality. “And so is the fish plate! What are you going to have?”

I kept my eyes on the menu, not daring to look up at Harry. Honestly, I was still in denial that he was seated across from me right now. I had to keep pinching myself.

The old Vita would have rolled her eyes at Harry and made a snarky comment about how he always thought about dessert first. Then I probably would have kicked him under the table, starting an infamous battle of punting each other in the knees until one of us surrendered. That’s how we used to be. It was always childish play when we were together.

But things were different now. So I sucked in my bottom lip and skimmed the words on the menu. “Soup, maybe?”

After we gave our orders to the waiter and handed back our menus, I was no longer shielded from Harry. I shifted nervously in my chair, my hands tightly intertwined in my lap. I felt fidgety because Harry was quiet. He was watching me.

“I like your brown hair.” He said finally. “It suits you.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you ever going to look at me?”

He didn’t sound angry, even though the words had enough ambition to be aggressive. Instead, his words were pronounced with tender and a hint of ache, like it was painful for him to ask.

I loosened my hands and inhaled deeply. I slowly averted my gaze from my lap, to the edge of the table and across the white linen-covered tabletop. My gaze climbed up Harry’s torso, skimmed past his lusty neck, hovered over his lips, his stupid dumb (perfect) nose, and finally, met his twinkling green eyes.

He smiled when my eyes finally locked on his. “Hiya.”

I smiled back, not entirely sure if it was genuine or not. It was hard to tell nowadays. “Hi.”

“Ye know, I remember hearing something about your dad coaching the USA team at the Olympics a while back.” He leaned onto the table. “But I would have never imagined that meant you’d come too. How long are you here for?”

“Until the end of summer, I suppose.” I answered.

“Oh, how the tables have turned!” He grinned, his eyes bright with amusement. “Funny how life works, huh?”

Yeah I thought, Hysterical.

“So, what’s the 4-1-1? What has everybody been up to? What’s the hot gossip? Tell me everything!” He was laughing as he said it. He loved quoting Mean Girls. It was his favorite movie. “What are you listening to? What’s the cool jams?”

I let out a small chuckle as I shook my head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I can’t help it. That movie is a cinematic masterpiece.” He smirked. “But really, how have you been? I bet Miami hasn’t changed a bit since I left. How’s Grandpa Gene? Probably working on another masterpiece as we speak.”

And just like that, all traces of humor drained from my face. My hands dropped onto the table and I tore my eyes away from Harry. I fixated them on the flowers outside, hoping this would prevent the huge lump in my throat from expanding. It didn’t.

“Vita?” Even without looking at him, I knew he stopped smiling. Now he sounded serious. “What happened? Is Grandpa Gene alright?”

My brows furrowed as I tried to focus on anything but Harry’s face. I could feel the restriction in my throat as my eyes started to burn. I refused to cry in front of Harry.

“He...passed away.” My voice broke as my eyes started to water. I haven’t talked about Grandpa Gene to anyone in weeks. “From a stroke. A couple of months ago.”

“Oh, Vita.” Harry’s voice was now a whisper. If anyone knew how important Grandpa Gene was to me, he did. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know.”

He reached over the table for my hand but I jerked away.

“I don’t know what to say.” He tried again.

“Don’t say anything. I’ll be fine, alright? Let’s just talk about something else.” I sat back in my seat and dabbed at the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t stand Harry’s sympathetic stare. “Tell me about your stadium tour. Or your new girlfriend.”

Shit. I don’t know how that last part even slipped out. I was suppose to say something like ‘Tell me about the guys, tell me about life on the road’. Not girlfriend. I didn’t need to look at Harry to know that he was shocked. I needed to take those words and shove them right back down my throat.

The silence that passed between us was drawn out, uncomfortable and downright painful.

Harry slowly retreated back into his chair and let out an aggravated sigh. “Right. Tanya.”

Tanya?

That was her name?

I hated it.

Another slow and aching silence passed between us as the waiter brought our food. After Harry thanked him, he turned back to me. “Is that why you ran away from me last night? Because you saw me with Tanya?”

Yes.

“No.” I crossed my arms. Steamy French onion soup sat in front of me but I ignored it. Surprisingly, I lost my appetite. “I didn’t feel well last night, so I went back to the hotel.”

He didn’t believe me, of course.

“Well, that was another reason I wanted to talk to you.” He nervously scratched the back of his neck. One of his legs stretched out beneath the table and hit the inside of my foot. While it was clearly unintentional, the impact caused goosebumps. “We’ll probably be seeing each other a lot while you’re here and I just wanted to make sure we were alright. I don’t want it to be weird, ye know? I’ve been dating Tanya for a couple of weeks now and it’s very new. I really like her.”

Something unpleasant tightened in my chest. This was the last thing I wanted to hear.

“What makes you think we’ll be hanging out while I’m here?” I didn’t mean it to come out so nasty, but anger was the only emotion that was preventing me from crying. I hated everything about this arrangement.

If Harry was surprised by my unpleasantness, he didn’t show it. “Well, the lads know you’re here. They’ve really missed you and the other two. You won’t be able to get rid of them, I suspect.”

I stayed quiet as I (angrily) stared outside the window. I didn’t want to admit it to Harry, but I missed them too. Seeing Louis last night reminded me how much I longed to see the rest of the guys. I missed poking fun at Niall or sitting in front of the television with Zayn and Liam while a Manchester United vs. Liverpool match was on. We would sit on the edge of the coffee table so we could be as close to the television as possible and a large bowl of popcorn would be passed between us. Every time Manchester made a goal, we’d jump up to cheer and the popcorn would spill everywhere and then Harry and Louis, who would be making a pizza in the kitchen, would yell at us to keep it down.

I tried to fight the lifting corners of my mouth as I recollected the memory fondly. I didn’t need Harry thinking he was the reason I was smiling.

“And I missed you too.” Harry spoke again. “I’d really like it if we could be friends, Vita. I know we ended things, but that was a long time ago. It couldn’t hurt to be pals.”

I stared at him with disbelief. It was a long time ago? It couldn’t hurt to be pals? Was he joking? I was clenching my fists so tightly in my lap, my fingernails almost drew blood. I was so unbelievably frustrated with him. I didn’t want to end things! I wanted to scream at him, I came after you! I love you!

But what use would that do me now? It was, as he puts it, a long time ago. He’s moved on. He’s infatuated with a new girl, a cooler girl probably.

I sighed, letting my shoulders drop. “Yeah. Fine. Pals.”

“Good.” He grinned, unaware that we were not on the same page. “Great.”

Awful, I thought, terrible.