Lightning in a Bottle

It’s been 3 days, and sadly, Blue had to go back to America to continue the You Me At Six tour. It was just me and her driving to the airport and I was a little sad to see her go, again. “Can’t you staaaay?” I whined. “Someone else can take their pictures.”

She smiled at me, “True, but I want to be with my love. I miss him already. Plus, you don’t need me hanging around your house any longer.” She gave me a serious look, “You don’t need to avoid being alone with Niall, I know that’s what you’re doing.”

Okay, so she was right, I didn’t want to be alone with Niall. So much that I made Blue stay with us while she was here instead of just staying at her own house. “I just… I don’t know how to be around him. It’s like, so much has change in just the span of a few days and now we’re both different people.”

“Well maybe that’s a good thing,” she shrugged. “Maybe that was the push he needed to grow up and the push you needed to get your backbone back with him.” I just shrugged. “You said you guys talked it out, well then it’s time to actually move on.” I had told her about working it out with Niall, though not the specific details. I felt like how broken down he became was something that should just be shared between the two of us. It was too personal and intimate to let even our closest friends know. There were some things that were better left just between a couple.

“I know you’re right,” because she was, she was always right. “I just get anxious, you know?”

“And that’s understandable, I mean, he really fucked up and hurt you. But you’ve got to get past it. You’ve got to work through this if you want to be with him forever. If you want to have babies with him.” I felt my cheeks heat up as I bit my lip, trying to keep my focus on the road. I did want to have a kid with him- someday, just not anytime soon. We had a lot of shit to go through together before we added to our… family. “Have you guys even had a serious conversation since you worked things out?”

I shook my head, “No.”

“Queen of avoidance,” she sighed. “Always have been.”

“There’s not really much to talk about.”

Blue scoffed, “Really? What about planning a wedding? Planning your future? Finally talking to him about the possibility of having kids?”

I shrugged, “We’ll get to it.”

“That’s true, you will. Just don’t let this incident drive a wedge between you two when you’ve already said you forgave him.”

I sighed as I pulled up to the airport, “You’re right. I need to just stick to my words and let it go. Get past it and start moving forward.”

She beamed at me, “That’s my girl! Now help me get my bag out.”

I walked with her to check in and headed towards security. She turned to me one final time and placed her hands on my shoulder, “You’re going to be fine. You and Niall are one of the strongest couples out there, and I wouldn’t be leaving now if I didn’t think you could handle this.”

I smiled softly, “Thanks for all the faith,” I said sincerely.

“I’m always rooting for you Ayden,” she said pulling me into a hug. “Now I and the rest of the lads will be back in 2 months. Think you can handle things on your own until then?”

I laughed, “Yes.”

“Good, because next time, I don’t think I can promise I’ll be able to talk Josh out of flying home to kick Niall’s ass.”

Then I really laughed. She had told me that when she told Josh about what happened and why she was flying home for a bit, he was livid. He wanted to come with her so he could ‘beat the shit out of that wanker.’ His exact words apparently. I was glad he hadn’t come though, I didn’t want something going on in my life to affect his tour, plus Blue was all I really needed right now. That didn’t stop him from calling me to make sure I was alright, which I was thankful for. “Be safe alright?” I said giving her one final squeeze. “I can’t wait to see all the rest of the pictures and videos and here all the stories.”

“There will be plenty, don’t worry.”

“Give my love to my lads, yeah?”

She nodded as she stepped away, “I will. Now go home and spend time with that Irish. You’ve got many years to spend with him ahead of you, may as well get started,” she joked.

I laughed, “Alright. Text me when you land love.”

“I shall. I’ll see you in 2 months Ayd.”

“By Blue!” I shouted after her. “You’ll always be my first love!”

She turned and placed her hand over her heart, “And you mine!”

We’re always down to cause a scene.

*****

When I got home I found Niall in the living room wrapping up a phone call, “Yeah, yeah. That’s fine.” He looked up to greet me and we shared a smile. Even though I was apprehensive about things, my heart still leaped at the simple gestures he gave me. Even something as simple as a smile. “Yeah, no problem. I gotta go though, Ayden just walked in. Yeah, I’ll be there. Bye.” He hung up as I set all my stuff on the coffee table. “Did Blue get on the plan alright?”

I nodded as he stood up and came over to me, “Yeah she did.”

His hands came to rest against my hips and my hands tentatively moved up his chest, “You alright?”

I nodded as I watched my fingers tap against his collarbone. “Yeah,” I sighed looking up into his eyes, “Yes.” I wanted to be alright, and I was going to try. I loved this boy with my whole being.

He smiled weakly before he brought his lips to my forehead. “I have to go to a meeting, Paul just called,” he explained.

“Oh. Okay, for what.”

He shrugged, his cheek pressed against the top of my head, “Scheduling. I guess we’re going to make an appearance in Japan again soon.” He pulled back to look into my eyes, “But when I get back you want to have dinner together? We can go out.”

I bit my lip as I took in his hopeful face, “Can we have dinner in? I can cook us something. I’d rather not have to share you, you know?”

His eyes softened and his smile was wide, “Sounds good.” He ducked down and kissed my neck slowly, leaving me breathless. “I should go change so I can head out soon.”

“Okay,” I sighed, not wanting to let him go.

He ran his nose up my neck and jaw before his lips brushed mine. He kissed me chastely, “I love you.”

I smiled against his lips as I reached up on my toes to kiss him again, “I love you too popstar.”

He growled in the back of his throat, “I still love it when you call me that.”

I giggled as I shoved him away playfully, “Got get ready for your meeting.”

He smirked as he squeezed my hips, “I love it when you’re pushy.”

I shoved him again towards the stairs, “Go!”

I watched as he jogged up the stairs to go get ready. I sighed contently, I could do this, get through the awkwardness I still had. I loved him, and everything Blue had said was true and made me feel better.

*****

I kept dinner simple and made chicken and mash and a salad. Though it wasn’t quite ready when Niall came home. “Hey,” I greeted as he came into the kitchen, “It should be ready soon. I think the chicken has like 15 minutes left.”

He smiled, but he looked tired, “Smells good.” He came around the counter and wrapped his arms around me, holding me too him like he had earlier. He sighed contently against me and kissed my shoulder.

“You good?”

He shrugged and pulled from me and leaned against the counter in front of me. “We’re leaving for Japan in two days.”

“What?” I was shocked, “Why so soon?”

“It was the best time that worked out for everyone,” he shrugged. “It’s only for a week but I don’t want to leave right now. Not after we… we’re trying to fix us,” he winced.

I sighed as I tried to find the right words, “Hey, don’t do that.” I grabbed his hands, “Don’t feel bad for having to do your job. We’re okay, we’ll be fine. It’s only a week, we’ve gone longer.”

He nodded, “I know but I just feel like… I need this time to fix what I’ve done. I don’t feel right jetting off to another country while we’re still in pieces.”

I closed the space between us and rested myself against his chest, “Niall- we’re fine.” I grabbed his hands and wrapped them around me. “I hate that you feel like this and if I’m the reason, then I’m sorry. The last few days have been hard for me, I’m not going to lie to you about that. But I love you, so much. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here right now.” I grabbed his face between my hands, “We’ll be fine, it’s only a week. And you can call and text me as much as you need to, and I’ll return the favor. The week will fly by and you’ll be back before you know it.”

He rested his forehead against mine, “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to leave, but you have too. You’ll be okay, I’ll be okay. We’ll be fine babe.”

He let out a sigh, “Okay.”

I leaned up and kissed the side of his mouth, “Now let’s have dinner and we can have a cuddle after.”

A smile appeared on his sad face, “Just a cuddle?”

“We’ll see what happens,” I smirked.

*****

“Hey baby?” Niall said, still breathless after our romp just had moments ago. Sex tonight was different- good different. He was more attentive to my needs and more gentle than usual. I liked it, it was like he thought I was made of glass and he was terrified he’s break me.

“Yeah?”

He walked his fingers across my abdomen, “Do you think… we should talk about the wedding?”

I smiled softly and roll so I was propped up on his chest. His skin was clammy with perspiration. “Honestly, I don’t care how we do it as long as we’re happy and together.”

He wrapped his arms around me, clinging me too him, “You don’t want to plan out every detail? Go on shopping trips to find the right dress? Plan the bachelorette party?”

I shrugged, “I don’t care about all that. I know that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Maybe even throw a kid in there someday. If you wanted to elope in just jeans and a t-shirt, I wouldn’t mind.”

He hummed, “Well I don’t know about that, I think our families would be pretty angry.” I kissed his chest as he shared a laugh. “But we don’t have to rush, we can still take our time with this.”

I shrugged, “If you want too.”

“You’re so laid back.”

I scoffed, “I am about most things.”

“I know,” he smiled. “That’s why we’re so good together.” He nuzzled into my neck, “Now what was that about kids?”

I shrugged hiding my face bashfully when he brushed hair out of my face, “I think we’d make some cute kids.”

“When did you start changing your mind?”

I shrugged again, “Sometime over the last month or so. I’ve been getting advice from everyone.”

His eyes looked pained for a moment, “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to tell me.”

I shook my head, “It’s alright, we’re here now. Let’s just move on- grow from what happened, yeah?”

He nodded, “Okay.”

*****

The next two days went by quickly and now I had to sit here and watch him pack again. I sat cross legged next to his suitcase, folding the clothes he haphazardly shoved into piles in the bag. “I hate saying goodbye.”

“So do I,” he said as he wondered back into the closet. I huffed at his back and pulled all the clothes out of the suitcase. When he came back I was sitting in it, “I wish,” he laughed.

I sighed, “Me too.” If I didn’t have 3 shoots lined up I probably would have invited myself along.

“It’s only a week, remember?” He said coming over to me and picking me up out of his bag before setting me back on the bed. “You said so yourself.”

“I know,” I said and grabbed at the collar of his shirt as he went to pull away. Instead I pulled him down on top of me. “Doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to you. Even when it’s just for a few days.”

He sighed as I kissed him, letting me be selfish for a few moments. “You’re really making this hard,” he said against my lips.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

He kissed me for a few minutes before I finally let him up to finish backing- with my help. “Promise me you’ll be extra careful with your knees,” I asked. “I know when you’re playing a show, you get all that excitement and adrenalin, but you’re not unbreakable Ni. You need to be careful.”

“You know I will,” he assured.

“Good.”

“We’re okay right?”

I kissed his lips, “Yes, we’re okay.”