Lightning in a Bottle

He set the peppermint tea into my hands before sitting next to me on the couch. “So how are things?”

I shrugged, “Besides being the size of a whale? I’m alright I guess.”

Josh smiled at me fondly, “You’re not the size of a whale Ayd.”

I gave him a ‘are you fucking joking?’ look and pointed to my belly. “Excuse you, this is massive!”

“You’ve got two little humans in there! They need room! But you’re not huge babe. You look lovely.”

“Thank you for lying to me,” I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t in a happy pregnant woman mood like everyone on the planet just assumes you’re always in.

Josh looked at me full of concern, “Are you okay babe?”

I sighed, “No, I’m not okay.” I sipped my tea for a moment before everything just came pouring out of me. “I’m super pregnant. I’m bloated everywhere and sore and tired all the time. Not the mention my breasts are so sensitive, but not in a good way!” I was on a roll now and there was no stopping. I’d kept it all locked up inside me for months and now I just needed to get it out. “And the nursery isn’t done. We still haven’t painted, and set up the cribs and I’m just so fucking annoyed, Josh! Like, we were supposed to have this time together to get everything ready for the babies. We were supposed to have the nursery done, and even looking for a house in Ireland. But no, he couldn’t just sit still. He just had to go and make his custom guitars.” I glared down at the mug in my hands. “And I’m so proud of him for that. I am. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t have waited.” Just like everything else this pregnancy has messed with, my emotions were erratic and I could feel myself getting ready to cry. “And it’s like I’m in this alone. I feel like I’m alone and pregnant because he’s always busy. He’s always at meetings and when he’s home, he’s always taking calls! It’s fucking bullshit!” I stopped to catch my breath and choke out a sob.

Josh patted my knee and gave me a small smile, “Do you feel better now? After getting it all out?”

“Yes.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “But no. I’m so fucking pissed off Josh! Like, I’m so, so happy to be having these kids- I am,” I reassured as I cradled my stomach. “But I’m so fucking mad that Niall is so busy. His band is on hiatus and yet he jumps at the chance to make more projects and just, it seems like he’ll do anything to not stay in the house with me!”

“You know that’s not true Ayd. He’s so excited for the kids.”

I nodded, “I know. But I’m still annoyed and just I have all this stress and I’m just so tired and it would be nice if he was there when I woke up once in a while you know?”

“Well you need to tell him that.”

“I know. If he were home for more than 3 hours while awake, I probably would.” I paused, just thinking over everything I had said in the last 5 minutes. “Do you ever think back on everything and just, I don’t know. Like do you ever think about how you used to picture how your life would turn out and realize it’s nothing like it actually is?”

He shrugged, “Yeah sometimes. But I never thought the band would go this far or actually become a job that supported my life, so…”

I nodded, “Like I never thought I’d end up married to someone like Niall, and pregnant with two kids. I never pictured myself getting married!”

He snorted, “Really? How’d you picture your life then?”

“Honestly? I thought I’d meet some guy at a show or something, someone who was just as stupidly obsessed with music as I was. He’s probably be in some shit band that never went anywhere except playing a few gigs around London. We’d fall in love and just live in sin together our whole life. No marriage, no kids. Just living a selfish life like that.”

“Are you saying to regret where you are now?”

“No, no! I’m not saying that at all!” I assured. “I love Niall so much, like so much, I can’t even put into words how much.” I looked down at my pregnant belly and ran my hand over it, “And even though I was so unsure about kids, I’m so happy to be having them. But I’m still just, I don’t know, it’s mental that I’m here you know?”

“Yeah. I know what you mean. But life is never how you plan it. People surprise you and things you never expect happen, and the next thing you know, you’re dating some wanker in a boy band!” he smirked.

I laughed, “He really is a wanker. But I love him. Even though he’s driving me mental lately.”

“I think that’s mostly because you’re pregnant and hormonal.”

I glared at him, “Watch it you dick.”

“Does Niall even know you left the house?”

I scoffed, “Jesus, I’m 6 month pregnant, not on my death bed. I don’t need a babysitter, I can still do the things everyone else does!”

“Wow, okay,” he laughed. “I just asked a question, no need to bite my head off.”

I smiled cheekily at him before getting more comfortable and sipping my tea. “So tell me about the band. Obviously, I know you’re working on the new album. Since Blue has been shooting behind the scenes stuff for your DVD, I know a lot about it. But what’s going on with you? How’s the writing?”

He shrugged, “It’s alright I guess. I mean, it’s the same as always- I get inspired here and there, little lyrics come, but I haven’t finished a lot yet.” He sipped his tea, “But we’ve only just started getting in the studio, so we’ve got plenty of time.”

“I hope you plan to make little Onesies for my kids. Obviously they’re gonna be brilliant like me and have fantastic music taste, and wear your clothing line.”

He laughed, “I was just talking to Abigail about that actually. She’s gonna help me come up with a cute ideas for a small baby line. Inspired by your little nuggets, obviously.”

“Yes! Do it! Where is your lovely lady anyways? I mainly came over here to have girl talk and trash you and Niall all day.” Josh has been seeing Abby for quite some time now. Like, they’re practically married, but probably forever living in sin like Blue and Max are (still unwed, queue sigh).

He glared out me, “Oi! Harsh vibes!” But he laughed, “She’s at her moms for the day, so it’s just me and Netflix, but you can join.”

“Yes! Can I pick?” I asked as I grabbed the remote before he had a chance to answer.

****

"Niall?” I called out as I walked into the house.

"Don’t come in here!" 3 voices called from the kitchen.

That did nothing but leave me very suspicious. “Um… why not?”

"Because!" Louis yelled as he raced to block the entrance of the kitchen. "We’re doing things… uh, man things!”

A hand came out of nowhere and smacked Louis upside the head, “Lou, you’re a complete idiot!” It was Harry. Nothing good could come from Louis and Harry being here, especially when there was something going on in the kitchen I wasn’t supposed to see.

“You know I’m coming in there, I don’t know why you thought this would work,” I shot out. “Niall, what’d you do?”

“Why is it automatically my fault?” I heard him whined.

I scoffed as I walked closer to the entrance of the kitchen Louis was still intent on blocking. “Because it’s our house.”

“And it was your fault, mate,” Harry mumbled as he came into view behind Louis. He gave me a sympathetic glance before I pushed both of them out of the way and walked into the kitchen.

My foot splashed into something and my flats were immediately soaked. I glanced down and saw my feet in an inch of soapy water that was slowly creeping its way towards the carpet that was at the entrance of our kitchen. All I could do was sigh because I’d only been home for 30 seconds and I could already feel the start of a headache. I looked across the kitchen to where my husband was standing, leaning his bum against the dishwasher that was spewing out suds and leaking water. He had his eyebrows high and giving me an anxious look, “What happened?”

Niall’s shoulders fell in defeat. “We were out of dishwasher soap so I thought I could just use dish soap.”

“I told you to pick up dishwasher detergent last night!”

“I forgot!”

I scoffed, “Of course you did.”

“I’m sorry.” His face fell as hurt took over his features.

“I told him it was a bad idea,” Harry said under his breath.

Niall glared at him, “You’ve got no loyalty to me at all do you?”

He shrugged, “Nope.”

I was busy watching the soapy mess continuously come out of the dishwasher and all over Niall’s backside. “Just,” I sighed. “Turn the dishwasher off and get the fucking mop.” I leaned down the best I could around my stomach and pulled my sopping wet flats off. Haryr and Louis jumped to help me but I slapped them away. “I’m taking a nap.”

Niall took a step in my direction, “Let me-”

“No.” I cut him off. “Just clean it up, okay?”

I chucked my flats into the laundry room on my way up to our room. I’d deal with those next time I did the wash, right now I was just too exhausted.

*****

I woke up to Niall crawling onto the bed behind me. I don’t know how long I was asleep for, but it was dark now. He crawled up right behind me before he wrapped he arm around my waist and rested his hand right over my bellybutton.

“’M sorry,” he mumbled into the back of my shoulder before he buried his face into the hair at the back of my neck. “I cleaned it all up.”

I let out a long breath, “I’m honestly just shocked you were even home during the day.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” his voice was muffled as his nose started tracing along my skin.

“You’re always gone and always busy when you’re home. Honestly I feel like you haven’t even been paying attention.”

“Hey, that’s not true. I’m here every night.”

“So? You’re always gone in the mornings and the majority of the day. I’m always here alone. We haven’t even got the baby room done yet.”

“Hey,” he said softly and urged me onto my back so he could look at me. “How long have you been feeling like this?” I just shrugged. “Well you should have told me. I can cut back on the meetings and stuff. We’re almost done anyway. All I really need to do is the photo shoot for the ads and that’s basically where my end of it all is done.”

I sighed, “I just don’t understand why you had to do it now. When we’re supposed to be focusing on these little shits,” I said pointing to my tummy where his hand was still caressing.

He smirked at my nickname, “I know, and I am. You and the kids are always on my mind. I’m sorry I’ve been busy lately, but I’ll cut back. I’ll be here 100%, I swear it.”

My body relaxed at how sincere he was being, “Well now I feel guilty.”

He let out his famous Niall Horan laugh, “You’re mad, you know that? All you have to do is say the word and I’m yours. It’s been like that since the moment I met you.”

“What an exaggeration that is,” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s really not babe.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead and then started peppering butterfly kisses down my temple to my cheek and jaw.

“You’re so cheesy.”

“It’s because I love you,” he mumbled before he playfully nipped at my jaw. I turned my face in search of his lips and he didn’t hesitate and he pressed and slow kiss to my lips. “I love you,” he said again. “And I’m in this 100%”

“Okay,” I said breathless. “I love you too.”

“Are you hungry?” He asked before kissing me again.

“I’m always hungry these days.”