Lightning in a Bottle

It only took a half hour of dinner for Maura to bring up the wedding, “So when exactly are you two going to get too it? It’s been two months!” It got really quiet then. I looked down at my meatloaf feeling awkward.

“Two and a half, actually,” Niall said before stuffing a potato in his mouth.

“Exactly, so why haven’t I heard anything?” She was looking at both Niall and I expectantly.

I cleared my throat, “Um, well we-”

“We’re taking our time mom,” Niall saved, “There’s no rush.”

She sighed, “But I just think that since the band had this year off, you have plenty of time to have a big wedding without working around crazy schedules.”

I went to answer but Niall cut me off, “We don’t even know if we want a big weddin’ ma. We already know we’re going to be together forever, so we’re not rushing.”

“But the sooner you get married, the sooner you can think about having kids.” Niall froze next to me and I almost choked. I don’t think Maura noticed because she kept going, “I’m just saying I want more grand babies! Theo is my angel but I want more! I’m not getting any younger, I want to enjoy time with my grandchildren before I get too old.”

I could feel the tingle of anxiety crawl up my back, but it was more form the fear of disappointing her than anything else. “Well-”

Niall cut me off again, “Mom, we’re still young, you’re still plenty young. We’re not ready for kids right now. We will get married, we’re just taking out time, enjoying being engaged. Give it a rest yeah?

Maura sighed, giving Niall a small glare before turning her attention to me, “If you need any help planning the wedding, you come to me.”

“Mom,” Niall snapped. “Please.”

She held her hands up in surrender, “I was just extending my help Niall, calm down.”

“Would you like another glass of wine Maura?” I asked trying to cut the tension between mother and son.

She smiled at me, “No thank you love, I have to drive later.”

*****

Niall was off the rest of the night. He still participated in the dinner conversation, that was steered away from any and all things wedding and babies, but his eyes were tight.

After his mom left, he helped me clean up the kitchen- in complete silence. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

I glanced over at him. He was focused on drying a pan with his face pinched, “Are you sure?”

He sighed, and I swear he rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired. I think I’m going to bed after we finished this.”

I glanced at the clock on the microwave over his shoulder, “It’s not even 10 yet.”

“I know. But I’m just tired.”

“Oh… Okay.”

Then, 10 minutes later when we finished the dishes, Niall trudged up the stairs and then I heard the bedroom door close.

I stood by the bottom of the stairs in silence. I know Niall well enough and long enough to know something was bothering him, and I hated when he shut me out. He rarely did it, but it still drove me mental.

With a heavy sigh I grabbed my keys and my phone and headed out to my car. As I backed out of the driveway I pressed speed dial number 5 on my phone. It only rand 3 times before he finally answered, “Hello?”

“Are you busy?”

“Uh, no not exactly.”

“Can you meet me at my spot?”

He only paused for a second, “Sure… what’s up?”

I sighed, “I’ll tell you when you when I see you.”

*****

I was sitting on the hood of my car, leaning back against the windshield when Josh’s car pulled up next to mine. He got out of his car and crawled up next to me, “So what’s going on?”

I sighed, “I think Niall’s mad at me for not wanting kids.”

He whistled lowly, “Oh. That’s harsh.”

“I know. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well why don’t you want kids? You’re great with them, I’ve seen how you are with Finn.”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. It just… having a kid is forever you know? Plus there’s 9 months of carrying it around in my uterus! That just looks and sounds uncomfortable!”

He laughed, “Pregnancy is a beautiful thing.”

“Says the male, who will never experience birth.”

“Okay, fair point. But you honestly don’t want kids?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe someday I could be talked into it but I just wanted him to know that there was a possibility of not having them was high.”

“You know what I think?”

“Hmm?”

“I think… that everyone in their twenties well most of us, are terrified of having kids. We’re all overly selfish people in our twenties, so it’s natural for you to be freaked out by the idea. But, from what I’ve hear, what I’ve noticed with my own eyes, is that as soon as you see your child it’s like… everything is right with the world and you completely fall in love with it. Because it’s yours, and it’s usually a result of something good. And in your case, it would be- Niall loves you in a way I wish I loved someone. It’s that rare love that is written in literature.” He paused for a moment, “Can I be honest about something?”

I scoffed a laugh, “That wasn’t you being honest?”

He ignored my comment, “I think that you’re over thinking everything. You and Niall need to just live in the moment, and just take it day by day. Get married, enjoy it for a little but, then have a serious discussion about having kids.”

I mulled over his words as I looked down at the lights of London. Everyone has made the same arguments as Josh has, but for some reason it meant more coming from him. Like, it was okay for me to be apprehensive about having kids and actually growing up and starting my life because no one has their shit together in their twenties.

“Thanks,” I said softly.

He wrapped his arm behind my head so I was resting against his shoulder, “You’re welcome.”

I sighed contently, “So how are you doing? When’s the tour start?” I already knew the answer but I was trying to fill the silence out of habit.

“In a week. I’m excited to go back to America.”

“And taking my best friend with you,” I grumbled.

He laughed, “Hey, don’t blame me, that’s all Max’s doing!”

“Well he’s a knob,” I joked. “You have to see my brother while you’re in LA.”

“Yeah, we’ve already made plans,” I loved that all my friends had taken to my brother so easily. “I think he’s got something going with Demi Lovato.”

I laughed, “He told you about that too?”

“Yeah. He wants me to wingman for him while we’re in town.”

“Oh god, you’ll have to let me know that goes!”

He scoffed, “Yeah, I’ll be sure to girl talk about how your brother interacts with Dami Lovato.”

“Sounds like we’re on the same page to me.”

*****

It was close to midnight when I got home. Josh and I were content to just sit together on my car and talk, but I knew I had to get home.

When I quietly walked into our bedroom, Niall was sound asleep in the middle of the bed. The sheet was bunched down above his briefs and one of his hands rested on his abdomen softly.

I changed into my pj’s quickly before I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I came out Niall was up on his elbows rubbing his face, “Where were you?” He asked with a hoarse voice.

“I went to my lookout spot for a little bit. Talked to Josh.”

He hummed at my response and fell back against the pillows. I bit my lip unsure of what to do or say, so after a moment I just sighed and crawled into bed. I pulled the covers around me and stayed on my side of the bed.

After a moment, I heard him sigh, “No, come here.” I felt his arms on my hips as he pulled me across the bed to him. He settled me so I was against his chest as he hugged me close, “How’d Josh?”

“Fine,” I waved off. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird since dinner.”

I felt him run a hand through my hair before he kissed the side of my head, “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. I can tell-”

“Ayden, I’m alright.” He adjusted on the pillow so he could look me in the eye, “I’ve got stuff on my mind but I’m fine. Okay? I love you.” He kissed my lips softly before looking at me again, “Drop it alright?”

I bit my lip nervously. I didn’t want to drop it, he was bothered by something, something I pretty sure knew what it was, but he wasn’t talking. “Fine.”

He kissed across my neck, “I love you.”

I sighed, “I love you too.” Even though I was still bothered that he wouldn’t talk to me, I just let it go, since I had no other option it seemed.

*****

“I have to send my mom flowers for her birthday so after we’re done here let’s stop at that one up the street,” Kota said as we shopped through Topshop. Well, she was shopping, I was more just along for the ride. It’s been two days since the dinner with Maura and Niall was still a bit off, but every time I tried asking he just waved it off.

“Sure, sounds fine.” I grabbed at a cute sweater off the rack, but then decided it wasn’t worth buying and put it back, “How’s your family?”

“Oh, they’re good. My little sister Dillon is about ready to head off to Uni. She got a fool ride to any Uni she wants with her football scholarships.”

“Wow, that’s awesome. Good for her!”

“Yeah, mom and dad are very proud of her.” She gestured for me to follow her as we went to a dressing room. We got the big one, and I sat on the chair in the corner helping her decide what looked good. “So how was dinner with Niall’s mom?”

I sighed, “Well, she brought up the wedding and kids and Niall has been acting weird ever since.” I went on to tell her about my conversation with Josh and how Niall’s been off whenever I walked into the room. “But every time I bring it up to talk to him about it, he changes the subject or makes an excuse to not talk about it.”

“Well, I don’t know how to deal with Niall when he’s inside his head or in one of his moods,” she said as she peeled off a rather ugly floral dress. “But maybe you should just let it go. Let him work it out on his own, he obviously want to just handle it himself.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “But I just want him to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.”

“Men are fucking annoying Ayden. When they set their mind on something, they’re stubborn. Especially our lads.”

“It’s just obnoxiously frustrating.”

“Don’t I know it.”

*****

We were at the flower shop for way longer than either of us expected. Dakota couldn’t make up her mind on what she wanted, and the more flowers we saw the more both of us couldn’t make up our minds.

“Why are there so many paps outside?” I asked as I glanced out the window.

Dakota looked around me out the window, “I don’t know, but there’s like 20 of them.”

“There must be a new rumor or something.”

She groaned, “Getting back to the car is going to be a nightmare.”

We finished up with the florist, Kota making sure it arrived at her parents’ house on time before we mentally prepared ourselves to walk out. “Why are they here, we’re not even with one of the boys.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. Let’s just stay close together,” she said linking her arms with mine.

As soon as we pushed out the door, the flashes increased and they started shouting at us, we me.

Ayden! Ayden! Are you looking at flowers for your wedding?

Have you set a date yet?

Who’s on the guest list?

Have you got a dress yet?

Dakota when are you and Harry getting married?

I wanted to tell them that none of this was true, that we hadn’t started planning anything, but they were so loud and firing out questions so fast I couldn’t speak even if I wanted too.

So instead, I ducked my head close to Dakota’s as we pressed on down the street, throwing out ‘excuse me’ every chance we could.

It felt like the longest trek ever to get to Harry’s range rover that Dakota and I had taken to the shops. When we finally got into the SUV it was like I could breathe again. The paps were still out, snapping pictures but they kept their distance from the truck. “Well,” Kota sighed, “We’ll stay away from flower shops and any other store that could be confused with wedding plans from now on.”

I let out a frustrated groan, “This is ridiculous! Even if we were out doing things for my wedding, what business is it of theirs?”

She gave me a sympathetic look as she pulled out into the street, “I know it’s hard, but ot’s just part of the life.”

“Yeah, well sometimes it fucking sucks.”