The Girl in the Spiked Collar

“Daddy?” Alistair asks as Marilyn Manson stands at our front door. Memories of everything come flying back to me. “That’s right, I’m your daddy. Happy Birthday, Alistair. I love you.” Manson said, froggy voice especially scratchy. Alistair runs to hide behind my legs, his tiny face peeking out behind one side. “”He doesn’t do too well around strangers.” I explain as I motion Brian into the house. “Honey, don’t you want to say hello to daddy? Please?” I ask. I pick him up. “Would you like to hold him?” “Yes, please.” I hand him over. “Hey buddy! Wow, he’s so small.” Manson states. “Yes, but the doctor said he has the intelligence level of a 3 year old, he’s very advanced. We made a smart little one.” I reply, sitting next to Marilyn on the couch. Brian quietly sings, Alistair gets more comfortable and eventually snuggles in close. “Alistair, go look on the porch. I think I heard something.” Manson says, getting off the couch and crawling across the floor with him to the front door. I follow them.
On the porch is a big red wagon completely stuffed full of presents a few feet in the air. “Prezies!” Alistair happily shouts while smiling and clapping his tiny hands. “Yeah, now let’s open them!”
Over 50 presents later, dinner and cake, Alistair lays on the floor with Brian. He fell asleep playing with his new things. ““See? He’s just gotta warm up to you. He’s been wanting to see you for a while, ever since he could talk all he says is ‘da da.’” I tell Manson. He smiles.” You know, I think of him a lot. And you too.” Marilyn answers. “Yes, I’ve been telling him all about you since he was born. Every day we watch your videos or interviews.” Brian smiles. “Thank you, Shadow.” ‘If you want, you can sleep in the bed. I will sleep on the couch.” I whisper to Brian. “Oh Shadow, you’ve done such a wonderful job raising our son. I have something for you.” “What is it, Brian?” He removes a wad of cash from his pocket and hands it to me. “There should be 100 $100 bills there.” “Oh Brian! Thank you so much!” I reply. “Anytime.” Alistair awakens at that. “Play da da!” Ali says, handing Manson a little hotwheels car. “Go ahead, I will get some laundry done.” I tell Brian. They play and laugh together and I warm heartedly watch, knowing this is all Alistair has wanted for a long time.
I stand in the kitchen at the sink. Doing dishes by hand is no fun but it works. A pair of hands wrap around me as I stand with my hands all soapy cleaning off the plates. “Marilyn.” I breathe. “I’ve missed you so much. You’re so beautiful, babe.” He whispers. “I’ve been so lonely lately.” I answer. Manson pulls me away only to kiss me with passion. I am receptive and fall right into it. Marilyn’s hands reach for my breasts inside my shirt. I lightly gasp as he pulls me into the bedroom. Manson’s erection pushes against my leg as we make out, completely naked. “Do you have a condom?” I ask. “I’m sterile.” He responds.
~
Morning comes soon enough. I had sex with Manson 7 times that night! He stayed for 3 days, playing with our son during the day and fucking me all night.
A month passes and it turns out that I’m pregnant again. I call Brian. “You said you are sterile!” I shout. “Well I lied.” “Brian, I can’t do this! I’m not financially able!” “I’ll send you more money. How does $5,000 a month sound?” He asks. I sigh out of nervousness. “Ok. I just don’t know what to do.”
Two months pass.
“Alistair, when we get home it’s time to sleep, ok?” I ask. “Yesh mommy.” It’s late and we are just getting back from getting his vaccines. I pull into the driveway and
I carry the baby in with me; he ends up sleeping in my bed like usual. I don’t mind, though. We’re all each other has. I try to show affection to teach him how to show emotion because I think that will be important for him as he grows. It is something my family totally overlooked and I remember feeling very unloved because of it and I don’t want that for my son; I want him to know I will always be there for him. I wish my family was the same way when I was little because maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be the waste of a person that I am today.
6:02AM. A great thundering comes from the front door, awakening myself and Alistair. “Let’s go get the door, sweetie.” I say whilst yawning. My mother? Yes, yes it is. “You’re out!” She screams. “What?” I ask, puzzled. “Your old landlord sold me the house! You’re out! We’re moving Ronald and his girlfriends in!” Mom yelled again. “You can’t do that! I have to have a three day notice!” I insist. “Not no more!” She shouts, pointing to the eviction notice under the chair on the porch. “I didn’t even see it.” I answer. “Not my fucking problem.” “You can’t do that, it has to be clearly seen on the door!” I argue. Mom pulls out a stack of papers. Alistair peeks out from behind me. “I guess we’re moving, babe.” I tell him. “You have one hour, I suggest you get to it. Anything left behind goes to Ronald!” The woman spat.
As I load up the car and trailer I think about this situation. How can my mother do this to me? I am her own flesh and blood. It’s hard to believe that we were once like best friends. Of course, that was before Ronald came into our lives with all his drugs and ways. Mom fell for him and I was forced into a relationship with him. I hated it and she constantly took his side no matter how much he beat me or cheated on me or how much he sexually abused poor Terry. One thing I quickly learned from all this is no matter how much time goes by, you don’t need family, you don’t need friends or anyone else for that matter. All you need is a strong spirit and a little motivation. Mine being my son. “You ready to go?” I ask as Alistair sits in his little baby seat. He nods. “I wuv you.” His little voice announces. That’s the first time he’s said those words. I smile ear to ear. “I love you too, Ali.”
I take one last look at everything before shifting the vehicle into Drive. I have a plan, oh yes I do.