Him

I read a saying on the internet that went “never half-ass two things, whole ass one thing” and it got me to thinking about you. In the past, I had always been so cautious; had always “half-assed” all my relationships and never really given myself to anyone, in that complete way. I still don’t know why, but I threw myself into our relationship with such gusto, gave every part of myself to you so quickly, with no fear. I guess I just had a good feeling about you. I went with my gut instinct. And it won me you; if only for a short amount of time. I can’t bring myself to regret you. Even though things didn’t end well and I was so hurt (still am), we had a good thing going there for a while. It was real and we were the best. I never, ever half-assed things with you. No guts, no glory as they say, I dove right in; I gave it my all. I whole-assed you. It sounds a little odd and a lot awkward to say but I guess it makes sense to me. And I guess it’s a good thing that I’m smiling as I write this. I tried my best, and at the end of the day, that’s all I can do. I still miss you all the fucking time but I’m coming to the conclusion that some things just aren’t meant to be and if people are meant to be together or if you really loved me as much as you said you did back then, then you would find a way. I’ll never forget you. I hope you don’t forget me. You were my once-in-a-lifetime, and I thank you for it.