Somebody or Nobody?

Everyone suddenly liked Dany, she was a spotlight figure. The only one that didn't seem very fond of her was Lissa. She was less fascinated by their new 'friend'. But although Lissa was a leading person, no one dumped Dany for it. But that, in her turn, didn't stop Lissa from 'forgetting' to invite her to her parties. Lissa felt threatened by this new girl, mostly because she had noticed something the other girls hadn't yet. Dany was twice as pretty as most of them and even more pretty than Lissa herself. She had seen how Alec reacted to Dany, she had nothing to fear there, not yet… At times like this Lissa felt awfully small and alone at this school. Because even the people she called her friends, she knew they were not real friends. Any secret she would tell them they would discuss with each other and after that with other friends. So she just enevr said anything she really had to get off her chest to her friends. She told these things to her mom, or her diary, but not her friends. Being popular was great, but it came with a lack of real friends. At this point it was hard to know who had your back, and who just had it long enough to stab you in it…

Dany was sitting on the porch of Lissa's house, although Lissa hadn't invited her, a lot of people had begged her to tag along. She had kicked off her shoes, heals still hurt her feet. She hadn't seen Alec all night, she found that a pity, he was the main reason she came to these things. She knew he was with Lissa, but she couldn't help herself falling for him like a brick from a roof. She had been in love with him since that first day at school, when they had met. And that hadn't changed. He had changed though. He was popular and had started dressing otherwise. He didn't look much different from people like Kyle now, but she hoped he was still the same inside. She had never liked Kyle as much as the rest seemed to do, but he had Alec his back, always, so he had to be some kind of a good guy. Alec seemed to admire him in some kind of way, like he was a rockstar or something. She had to admit, he had that glance over him, like he was born to be famous. She had always found Alec more pretty, but the big lot disagreed. Still Alec had some fans, who he didn't see much value in, she had noticed. Maybe she was just one of them, and he ignored her for that. But then why did he still pay attention to the others while she never talked to her? She was about to get back inside as she saw Lissa standing behind a bush. She was smoking, her eyes looked teared.

"Are you oke?" Dany asked, as she took her shoes in her hand and walked bare feet towards Lissa.

"Does it look like I am?" Lissa asked sharp.

"No, but it is a common thing to ask." Dany replied just as sharp.

"I'm sorry for being so rude." Lissa said.

"No need, I am not such a polite person too when I'm felling bad." she smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" Lissa asked.

"Sure."

"Why did you change yourself so drastic?"

"Because I wanted to be somebody, somebody that people would remember when they think back at high school." she smiled.

"Bull shit." Lissa said. "No one changes themselves to something they hate for that, not as drastic as you did."

"As much as you don't want to tell me why you feel bad, I don't feel like discussing this with you." Dany said.

"You are pretty Dany, but lipgloss really doesn't fit you and these nails are to long for your hands. You think smoking is as disgusting habit and you think eye-make-up itches. You would still be pretty without it all. Why the trouble to be a girl like them, like us?" she asked.

"Because I wanted to be noticed." she whispered.

"You won't be, you are one of many cheerleaders now. One of many pretty girls who talk boys, nails, hair and greet each other with hunny, darling and sweety but actually want to rake each others eyes out." Lissa said truthful.

"Is it the same for you?" Dany asked.

"I don't think there is anyone in my house right now that actually likes me for me. They all like my parties, my name and my ass, but not my person."

"And you are fine with that?" Dany asked.

"Are you?" Lissa smiled back.

It made Dany think. Maybe she and Lissa were the same in this. They both knew the truth, but lived passed it, because sitting in a burning room might be dangerous, but it is surprisingly warm when you forget that you can die anytime.

"Do you really like any of them?" Dany asked, instead of answering Lissa's question.

"I really do like Kyle." She smiled. "He gets the way things work and ignores it. Kyle had always been Kyle, ever since we were kids. And being Kyle always seemed to work for him, because everyone loves Kyle the way he is."

"Have you ever been in love with him?" Dany asked.

"Yes, head-over-heels. I dated him the year before high school and freshman year. After that it just didn't work for us. We had kind of stopped doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff and goon back to friend stuff without talking about it. We never kissed or slept together. Come to think of it, we never officially broke up." she grinned.

"But if you like boys like Kyle, why do you date Alec? They don't seem the same kind of boy…" Dany asked.

"I respect Alec in a strange way. Mostly because I had to chase Alec, instead of the other way around. But the thing with Alec is, he doesn't give me much, I have to get it. I don't think he does that on purpose, he just doesn't know what he got himself into. I can't get hold of him, that's the reason I am with him, it was the reason I was with Kyle. I seem the search for some kind of distance." Lissa explained.

"But why? Isn't it all about being together?" Dany asked confused.

"The feeling that you are lucky to have them, do you know that feeling. That you still can't believe you are that girl?"

"I can only imagine…" Dany said. "But that seems like the greatest part."

"It is…and it lasts longer this way..."