Loving Him Was Red

~I'm really gonna miss you picking fights
And me falling for it screaming that I'm right
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind
With some indie record that's much cooler than mine~

They were already four stops in on the tour and Emma was feeling the familiar rush of tour life again. She had forgotten how her heart raced and her stomach twist and turn excitedly. She had gotten used to hanging off in the wings, singing along to the songs that she knew so well, even the new ones. Everyone on the tour had seemed to bring her easily back into the fold as if she had never left. Since she had that revealing talk with Pete, she had tried to avoid any conversation that led to talking about her and Patrick. Pete seemed to have more to say on the matter, for whatever reasons, Emma did not know. Patrick was trying to make conversation with her, but the conversation would lead to an awkward silence or his phone ringing, which was another reminder that they should keep their distance from each other.

“So I got to admit, I am a little impressed that you stuck up for Nickelback in that one blog of yours,” she commented to him one night while the they were all relaxing on the tour bus, heading to another city.

He grinned. “Yeah, these guys gave me some crap for it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was extremely happy that you stuck up for the adult soft rock genre,” Joe said sarcastically and Patrick made a face.

“I get what you were talking about though. People are haters these days,” she replied.

“Yeah, exactly. All anyone wants to do is talk about how much they hate everything and commiserate together. It’s exhausting,” he replied.

“I know, when I used to do music reviews full time, Christian would get on me about being too fair to the musicians,” she sighed.

“A fair music journalist? That’s practically unheard of,” Patrick exclaimed. “But if any of them would be impartial, it’d be you.”

She blushed. “What are you talking about?”

“You never have a negative thing to say about any band!” Pete chimed in. “You’d hear the three of us going on about some group and you have to come in with an actual good comment about them that’s legit.”

She nodded. “This is true. I think I even have good things to say about that boy band One Direction.”

“Don’t,” Joe said. “You can’t possibly have anything to say that’s good about another manufactured singing group.”

“Wait, One Direction, which ones are they again?” Patrick asked.

She looked at him with mock surprise. “You do not know who One Direction is? Patrick, I am ashamed of you. They are only the most popular five boys in the world right now.”

“You mean we aren’t?” Andy said feigning a swoon. The other guys grinned.

“Yeah, no, I mean I think I know one of their songs? I don’t know, I probably should considering some of our fan base probably listens to them,” he said shrugging.

She rested a hand on his knee comfortingly. “Don’t worry, you’re 15 year old fans won't swear you off forever if you don’t listen to “Best Song Ever,”” she said with a small smirk.

“Is that literally a song of theirs?” Patrick asked her and she nodded. “Wow, guys, I’m getting an idea for a song title here.”

“Don’t say ‘Worst Song Ever’ because that’s not happening,” Pete retorted. Patrick’s lips formed an exaggerated frown, making Emma burst out laughing.

“Actually I was thinking something more along the lines of ‘I Screwed Your Girl to the Best Song Ever.’” Patrick’s frown turned into a simper.

Emma’s eyes widened and she laughed harder. “God that sounds like a B-side to one of your old records,” she exclaimed.

“I like it… Only if we can do synchronized arm movements,” Andy commented.

“Patrick, you can bust out some of your MJ moves,” Emma teased.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, very funny,” he replied pretending to be upset, but his smile told otherwise. He seemed about ready to say something else, but then his phone started ringing, and his look completely changed into a mixture of embarrassment and guilt. He quietly excused himself and quickly walked to the back lounge area, leaving Emma once again feeling as if she should not be there at all.

She was still curious, though, as to why Patrick continually tried to talk to her. Although he was drunk the night he dumped her, a part of her felt that those words he said rang some truth for him or else they would not have been in his mind to think of at all. Plus, he seemed to have a very doting girlfriend that called him regularly.

Their fifth stop was in Orlando, Florida, and the guys were playing at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney. They had parked the tour buses in the employee parking lot and the boys donned sunglasses to make the trek to the House of Blues. Since it was in the middle of Downtown Disney and backed up against a lake, there were no great secret entrances or exits for them. Emma opened one of the tour bus windows and stuck her head out.

“Whoa, it’s really humid out here,” she commented, sticking her head back inside and shutting the window and looking back at the guys.

They were all lounging around the front of the bus, Joe and Patrick making a video for the Vine app with Andy. Pete was skyping with his little boy, Bronx, with his girlfriend Tracy next to him. Tracy was a model who Pete had been dating for a while apparently. She definitely looked like a model, her skin porcelain and hair jet black and silky smooth. She was about Pete’s height, so when she wore heels she was a bit taller than he was, but to Emma, he seemed to not mind. She liked her because she was down to earth, even though she came from a world where women were notorious for being uptight with diva-like behavior. Emma loved watching her and Pete together because they seemed to compliment each other so well. She even let Emma interview her for the piece in the magazine. It was also nice to have another female around.

“Ugh, that sucks,” Tracy said, making a face of disdain. She kissed Pete and said goodbye to Bronx before jumping up. “Let’s go change into something cooler,” she said, grabbing Emma’s hand. Emma looked at her surprised and followed, glancing back at the guys, who were all looking at them with some suspicion.

Tracy locked them in the back of the tour bus and pulled her suitcase out from underneath the sectional couch. “Okay, let’s get you changed into something sexier than that t-shirt and jeans.”

Emma frowned. “What? Why?”

Tracy looked up at her with a frustrated look. “Because, I’m tired of watching you and Patrick dance around awkwardly. You are going to make him make a decision.”

Emma laughed. “Tracy, there is nothing to decide. We’re just awkward because, let’s face it, we haven’t really given each other the closure we needed from our relationship… But I don’t think this is the time or place to talk about it.”

Tracy pulled out a pair of torn and faded jean shorts and threw them at Emma. “Maybe it’s closure, or maybe you two just need to get back together. Whatever it is, you both need to talk about it. Now.” She pulled out this lacy hot pink bra and a loose black tank. “Put this on, you’ll look hot.”

Emma sighed and started taking off her clothes. “Tracy, did Pete put you up to this?” she asked her. Tracy continued to shuffle through her clothes, ignoring her. “Tracy!” Emma exclaimed, pulling the shorts up and buttoning them. Tracy stood up and traded in her band tee for something a bit skimpier.

“Emma, Pete does not make me do anything… that I don’t already want to do.” She grinned. “Ever since I met you and found out your story, I have just felt that this is all fate, ya know? You were meant to be here with Patrick.” She handed Emma a few long silver necklaces with several baubles on them. “You really thought you’d be focused on the article the entire time? God, there’s only so much to write about. You have to take a few moments to focus on yourself and your own stuff.”

Emma looked at herself in the mirror, ruffling her long blonde hair in the mirror. Tracy walked over to her with her portable Chi flat iron. “What are you going to do with that thing?” Emma asked her. Tracy grinned.

“I’m going to make you irresistible Emma Mann.”

A few minutes later, Emma was flipping her hair back and forth, transformed from her normal straight strands to a mess of waves and curls. She did feel sexier with that type of hair. She shoved her iPhone in her back pocket. “Okay, I think the guys have that interview with one of the local radio stations soon. We should probably get back out there.”

Tracy nodded. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Tracy opened the door, and Emma could hear Joe exclaim, “Finally, we were beginning to worry about you two!”

Tracy walked out first, blocking their initial view of Emma. “Sorry, Emma didn’t really have clothes for this kind of weather, so I let her borrow some of mine.” She moved out of the way so that Patrick could get a look at Emma.

Emma walked out into the common area, trying to not be embarrassed, but of course, that was impossible. “Whoa, Emma, you’re super hot in that,” Pete commented, grinning.

She felt herself blush and Joe walked up to her and put his arm around her. “So, what about you and me go someplace a little more quiet?” She rolled her eyes and playfully batted him away.

“I don’t know, let me go call Marie and ask her what she thinks about that,” she replied, referring to Joe’s wife. The guys all laughed at that.

“I think she’d be okay with it because she also would think you look hot,” Pete said.

“Oh come on guys, it’s just me.”

“Yeah, in a hot pink push up bra,” Pete retorted.

Emma sighed and then looked over at Patrick, who kept looking at her and then looking away, his whole neck and face getting pink. She felt herself blush harder and looked over at Tracy who was giving her a thumbs-up. “Ugh, okay, we can stop dwelling on it. Don’t you guys have an interview at that upscale bowling alley place soon?”

The boys all looked at each other alarmed. “Holy smokes, she’s right!” Patrick exclaimed. He grabbed his fedora off the small kitchen table. “Come on guys, we have to go.” They all made their way out of the bus, Patrick holding the door open. Emma ended up being the last one out and as she walked past Patrick, she felt him lightly rest his hand on her bare shoulder. She turned around to look at him and he playful grin, “You look really, um, nice, Emma.”

She swore he could hear her heartbeat at that moment. “Thanks Patrick,” she replied, holding his gaze. She felt his hand move down her arm, as if he wanted to caress her skin and then it stopped suddenly, his fingers landing on her small scar from the broken bottle he had thrown at her three years ago. He looked down at it, the look on his face becoming agonized. He looked at her with round, sad eyes.

“Emma,” he started and she pulled away.

“Come on, Patrick,” she said quickly, moving further down the steps of the tour bus. “You’re going to be late.” She moved rapidly to catch up with everyone else, wrapping her hand around her scar. Another reminder, she thought grimly.

When they got to the restaurant, there was already someone from the radio station waiting for the guys and they were quickly ushered into the restaurant to begin the interview. Tracy and Emma hung back with Marcus and AJ, the guys tour manager. Tracy suggested that they try and bowl a few rounds since it was also an upscale bowling alley. As they were bowling, Emma got a call from Christian, her editor.

“Hi Christian, what’s up?” she said, holding up her finger to the rest of the crew, signaling that she’d be right back.

“Emma Mann, just looking through a few of your interviews here,” Christian said slowly. “Great stuff. I’m glad I sent you, you were able to get a lot of good stuff out of the crew because of your prior relationships with them.”

Emma smiled with satisfaction. “Great, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I have some more notes that I’m typing up and will send to you by tomorrow night.”

“You’re in Orlando right?” Christian asked her.

“Yeah, and tomorrow is Miami,” she replied.

“Excellent. That’s what I was hoping for. Okay, I need a favor from you. Would you mind, when you’re in Miami, meeting up with Robin Thicke to do a one-on-one with him about his new album and his new single?” Christian asked her, a tinge of pleading in his voice.

“Am I getting paid extra for it?” she replied.

“Are you saying you won’t do it if I don’t pay you more?”

“Are you seriously asking me that Christian?” She sighed glancing at Tracy who was motioning for her to hurry up and get off the phone.

He paused and then said, “Fine, I’ll pay you extra, even if you’re doing me a favor.”

“Am I not already doing you a favor by doing this article I’m on right now?”

“Psh, I’m doing your love life a favor, by letting you do this article. How’s the ex-boyfriend doing anyway?” he replied, making her squirm.

“He’s fine. Working hard and currently unavailable. So as far as my love life goes, it’s not the story of this piece.” She hesitated and then said, “Please don’t tell me that you guys some sort of bet going on up there about me.”

“I know nothing of any bets,” he said, then it sounded as if he placed his hand over the speaker of his phone and she could hear him shout out, “He is seeing someone else so put me down for $100!”

“Christian!” Emma exclaimed angrily.

“Emma,” he replied, taking his hand off the speaker. “Anyway, I’ll email you the details for the Thicke interview. Thanks again!” He hung up on his end, leaving Emma a bit speechless.

She headed back over to Tracy, AJ and Marcus. “Who the heck was that?” Tracy asked her.

“My editor. He wants me to do a quick interview of Robin Thicke in Miami tomorrow since I’ll be there anyway,” she explained.

“Ooh, that new song of his with Pharrell is my jam right now,” Marcus commented.

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” Emma replied, grinning. “Okay, so what frame are we on?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patrick tried to keep his mind focused on the interview at hand, but he kept drifting back to the small moment he had with Emma on the bus. He wished he had more time right then to pull her back into the bus and just talk about what happened between them. He always thought of himself as a bit of a compulsive person and when he saw a problem in front of him, he fixated on it until a solution presented itself.

He was still unsure about what he hoped to get out of talking to Emma about it. Pete seemed convinced that if he was still in love with her that he needed to take this opportunity to make things right. Ever since Patrick overheard Pete and Emma’s eye-opening conversation about him, he realized that he really did still have strong feelings for her that he didn’t think ever went away. He just buried them because she never left him an opening for the chance of them getting back together. Yet, now she was sitting in front of him day after day and revealing her feelings for him to Pete, and he wondered if fate wasn’t stepping in and trying to smack him on the head with some obvious point.

“And, um, maybe we can’t move around as well, but we try really hard,” Joe said self-deprecating way to the female radio host, Jana, who had asked them about their choice of venues for their tour.

Patrick broke out of his thoughts to offer up a comment. “And I think we’re just excited, it’s a new kind of energy that we haven’t really had because I think, you know, we’re, not going into tonight’s show and last night’s show and tomorrow night’s show with, you know, eight years of nonstop touring and de facto eight years of nonstop bickering, you know whatever, you know that’s just how it goes, and I think that every show is like, its like a new band and we’re really excited to be here.”

The other guys nodded in agreement and Jana wrapped up the interview with the signal from her camera crew. “Thanks so much, guys, that was great,” she said warmly to them.

“Yeah, no problem, it was fun,” Pete replied, standing up and giving her a hug. The rest of them followed suit and they meander back into the main building where the bowling lanes were. “Hey, I just got a text from Tracy, they headed to some store called Blink?” He sighed. “That girl loves her clothes.”

“She’s a model, what did you expect?” Joe asked him. Pete shrugged.

Patrick lifted his hat up to smooth out his hair underneath. “Well, should we head over there and meet up with them?”

Pete grinned. “Is that what you want to do Patrick? Do you want to ogle Emma some more?”

Patrick rolled his eyes, but his stomach was twisting nervously at the thought of seeing Emma in that outfit. “No, I just figured we could all hang out a bit before we have to go rehearse.”

“Patrick, why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Andy asked, as they all made their way out onto the crowded walkway of Downtown Disney.

Patrick looked around for a map, trying to ignore Andy’s question. “Okay, guys where is this place again?”

“Patrick!” Pete exclaimed. “Andy asked you a very important question. I don’t think it’s polite to not answer the man.”

Patrick turned around and stared at his three band mates. “What good will that do?”

“At least you can find out if she still cares about you,” Andy pointed out. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know. Some part of me wants nothing more than to get back with Emma. Another part wonders if there wasn’t a reason we are apart in the first place.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you are better off without her? That Natalie is a better choice?” Joe looked at him agape. “No offense Patrick, but you and Natalie have absolutely nothing in common. She’s a great looking gal, but, Pete, back me up here, at the end of the day, it’s about more than just looks.”

Pete nodded. “Joe’s got a point, dude. You and Emma have a chemistry that I haven’t seen you have with any other girl.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen me with many other girls,” Patrick replied dryly. “But, I know what you’re saying. I agree whole heartedly, I really do. But, why aren’t we considering what Emma wants? Maybe she feels that she’s better off without me.”

“If she did, she wouldn’t be acting all weird around you all the time,” Pete replied.

“Yeah, being in the same room as the two of you gives me a serious case of the awkward sexual tension and I’m not even IN the relationship,” Joe added.

They stopped in front of a small storefront with the word BLINK written in silvery capital letters. “Your choice, Patrick,” Pete said. “You either lay it out for Emma, or just forget about it and move on.” He clapped him on the back and walked into the store, Joe and Andy at his heels.

Patrick hesitated a moment, thinking about what Pete said. His eyes caught the image of Emma, holding a shimmery dress up against her body and examining it in a mirror. Seeing her there in such an innocent and simple moment made him desire her even more. Suddenly, his phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket. The screen said “Natalie.” He stared at it for a moment, looked back up at Emma through the window of the store and then hit the “Ignore” button and opened the door.