Loving Him Was Red

~Boycott love
Detox just to retox
And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life
And perfect boys with their perfect lives
Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy
(Wants to hear you sing about tragedy)~

Natalie didn’t want to get near him when the concert was over. As soon as she tried to hug him, she pulled away quickly, complaining about the sweat.

“Yeah Patrick sweats… a lot,” Joe commented, coming up behind him and clapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey it’s those lights,” Patrick exclaimed, grinning.

“Well, don’t touch me until you have showered,” she replied, staring at him with a displeased look on her face.

Patrick glanced at Joe who just shot him a look. He remembered how Emma would hug him wiping his face with a small towel that she always had on her. She never cared if he was sweaty and gross from being on stage. Patrick felt a pang of longing for that memory to be a reality again. He looked around the backstage area then and noticed Emma wasn’t there. “Hey, where did Emma go?” he said to AJ, who was organizing the crew to start the clean up.

“She went back to the tour bus,” Natalie said. She turned around and looked at him oddly. “Why?”

He glanced at Pete who had thrown him a small white towel. He caught it and started wiping down his face, then took off his fedora to wipe his hair. “Oh, no reason, I just thought it was odd she wasn’t here, that’s all.”

Natalie shrugged. “She kind of ran off in the middle of our conversation. Said she had to take care of something.”

“What were you talking about?” Patrick asked her.

“You know, girl stuff,” Natalie said, shrugging again. “She’s a little weird, and jumpy.”

“Maybe she’s on that crack cocaine,” Joe commented with a smirk.

Patrick rolled his eyes, but Natalie gasped. “Oh my God, maybe that is it!”

“No, Emma isn’t on crack. I think we would know if someone sleeping on our tour bus was doing hard drugs,” Pete said.

“Yeah, I think Joe was joking,” Andy replied.

They headed back to the tour bus because they had to make it to Atlanta for another concert the next day at the venue The Tabernacle. Considering that he didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before, he was looking forward to the long night drive up to Georgia. The long stretches between shows were nice because it always gave him time to rest his voice and also think. He and the guys also wrote some songs during that time too.

As soon as he got into the tour bus, he immediately searched for any sign of Emma. The door that led to the bunks was open, but the door beyond that leading to the back lounge area was closed and he could hear music coming from it. The other three guys looked at each other and then at Patrick. He shrugged, unsure of what Emma was doing back there.

“Oh God, is she being emo right now?” Natalie whined, staring at the closed door.

Pete laughed. “Well, she’s on our bus, might kind of be a requirement.”

Natalie looked at him questioningly. “Why?”

Pete’s smile faded. “Uh, because people think we’re emo?” He glanced at Patrick, who wasn’t really listening. He was contemplating a way to talk to Emma without eliciting any suspicion from Natalie.

“It’s only Pete who’s emo,” Joe explained. Natalie just stared at him and Joe shook his head. “I’m going to shower first.” He pushed past her and Patrick.

“Five minutes buddy!” Andy called out. “I can feel this stuff crusting as we speak!”

“Ew, so gross,” Natalie whispered in horror, sitting down as far away from the other guys as possible. She looked up at Patrick. “How can you stand to get that way every night?”

Patrick turned his gaze away from the back and looked at Natalie. “I don’t know, it’s not so bad. You get used to it.” He smiled at her and she curled her nose up in disgust and pulled her phone out to play on it.

“Well, isn’t she just a ball of sunshine,” Pete muttered to Patrick.

The shower turned off and Joe stepped out of the bathroom in a towel. “All right you studs, which one is next?”

Andy pushed past Pete and Patrick so that he could get there before them. While he showered, Joe changed into a pair of sweatpants and an old Metallica T-shirt. He came back out and sat down at their kitchenette table. “Card game anyone?”

Pete’s eyes lit up. “Deal me in man.” He sat down across from him. Patrick felt awkward standing around, being ignored by both his current girlfriend and his ex girlfriend who was still hiding out in the back.

A few minutes later, Andy emerged from the bunk/shower area dressed in his own clothes. “Patrick, you’re up,” he said smiling serenely.

Patrick headed to the back and shut the door between the bunk area and the main living area. He turned the water on in the bathroom, but before he unclothed, he quickly crept to the back door where Emma sat behind. He knocked slightly and then pushed the door open.

Emma was lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, listening to her Imagine Dragons CD on her computer. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a baggy tank top. She turned her head to the side to look at who entered. Patrick expected a startled response, but Emma looked defeated instead. “You’re soaking,” she commented.

Patrick grinned timidly. “Yeah, you know me, it’s like wringing out a washcloth.”

Emma just looked at him with a hollow look. “Bet Natalie doesn’t want to get near you.”

Patrick looked at her in surprise. “How’d you know? Ya, she basically is treating me like the plague,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes and looked back up the ceiling. “Yeah, that sounds like her.” She heaved a sigh.

“Hey, I’m about to shower, but are you going to come hang out with us?” He hated seeing her so lonely.

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea,” Emma said bluntly.

Patrick leaned against the edge of the door. “Well, I do. You should come hang out with us before we all go to sleep. I think Joe and Pete are getting a rousing game of cards going.”

“Which game?”

“Whichever one you want,” Patrick said with a grin.

Emma looked back at him and then at the ceiling. “I’ll think about it.” She then grabbed her earphones and plugged them into her computer, silencing the music. Patrick was confused. She was acting out again and he wasn’t sure why. He sighed and closed the door behind him, walking to the bathroom to shower.

After his shower, Patrick changed into his Batman pajama set and glanced one last time at the door closed behind him. He thought about going back in there to talk to her, but decided to let her make that decision. He opened up the door to the main living area and walked right into what looked like a heated game of Egyptian Rat Screw between Pete, Joe, Andy and Emma. They were all drinking beers. He looked around and noticed Natalie on her phone still. “Hey, Pete,” Patrick called out, getting everyone’s attention. Emma turned around to look at him and he noticed that she was smirking, her eyes scanning his outfit. He reddened. “Uh, bathroom’s all yours man.”

Pete stood up. “Okay guys, let’s put this game on hold. I’ll be super quick.”

“Quicker than lady Patrick, I hope,” Joe quipped.

“Hey, the hot water helps soothe my throat,” Patrick said defensively.

Natalie suddenly perked up as if she just had realized Patrick was in the room. “Baby! You’re all clean now!” she grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the couch next to her, nuzzling her head into his chest.

Patrick glanced at her oddly and then looked up at Emma who was covertly glancing at him while pretending to look hard at her cards. “Yep, it is refreshing.”

“You want a beer Patrick?” Andy asked him, getting up and pulling one from the fridge for himself.

Patrick figured a drink couldn’t hurt, especially as he was in an extremely uncomfortable situation at the moment. Andy threw him a bottle of Bud Light and Patrick nodded in thanks.

“Ew, beer, that’s so gross,” Natalie said, making a face. “I prefer mixed drinks.”

“Well, we are not a bar, honey,” Joe said, knocking his bottle against Andy’s.

“I love beer,” Emma said into her cards. “I mean, if I have to drink, it needs to be beer. Mixed drinks make me hate all fruit juices from my youth and I don’t want to hate them.”

“You like beer? But you’re a girl!” Natalie looked at her strangely. “You are a weird girl.”

Emma smirked. “I get that a lot.”

“I for one think that it’s hot if a girl likes beer,” Joe said, tipping his bottle against Emma’s. She cheered him back and glanced at Patrick again. He was scowling on the inside, angry at himself for not sticking up for her at that moment.

“Well, you’re weird too,” Natalie retorted.

“Yes, yes I am,” Joe said.

After a few minutes, Pete emerged in a hoodie and pair of basketball shorts and resumed his place next to Emma playing cards. Patrick noticed that Natalie had started playing on her phone again so he leaned is head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

“So Emma we never finished our conversation from earlier,” Natalie suddenly said, jolting Patrick out of his very brief nap. He started to take a sip of his beer.

Emma looked at her bewildered. “Oh, we didn’t?”

“No,” Natalie said in a teasing voice. “You started talking about your ex-boyfriend, but then you had to leave.” Patrick nearly choked on his beer. He started coughing. The guys all looked at him alarmed. “Are you okay baby?” Natalie asked him concerned.

“Yep, just went down the wrong pipe,” Patrick said hoarsely.

“Good, I’m glad you’re okay,” Natalie said, then she turned her attention back to Emma and said, “Okay, so tell me all about him.”

“Who are we talking about?” Pete asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, we were talking about what it was like dating a musician and Emma said she dated one before. I want to know all the details.” Natalie leaned forward intrigued.

Patrick’s heart started racing. The last thing he wanted was for Natalie to find out about him and Emma while they were driving in the middle of nowhere between Florida and Georgia.

“Um, well, there’s not much to tell,” Emma stammered.

“Okay, how long were you together?” Natalie asked her.

Emma grabbed a card from the pile. “Er about five years.”

“Five years!?” Natalie exclaimed. “And were you like engaged or anything?” Emma just shook her head. “Wow, that sucks. I mean to put that many years into a relationship and no ring, that’s a shame.”

Patrick kept his eyes firmly fixed on his lap. He could feel Joe, Andy and Pete’s eyes continually glancing in his direction. “Yeah, well, it was a really hectic five years, I mean, yeah, he was really busy,” Emma replied.

“Busy with what?”

“Oh, you know, tours, award shows, interviews, recording albums and stuff…”

“Is that why you left him? I thought you were okay with all of that stuff,” Natalie asked.

“Oh, well, he kind of broke up with me,” Emma answered, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“Really? He strung you along for five years and then he broke up with you?” Natalie shook her head. “Girl, you were really naïve.”

Emma looked at Natalie with a glower. “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Natalie looked at her skeptically. “What could be complicated about it? If he loved you, and not his work, wouldn’t he have taken the time to at least buy you a ring? Girl, count it as a blessing that that didn’t’ last.”

Emma started to say something, but she quickly turned her head back to her cards. Patrick looked at her, his mind heavy with guilt. Natalie was right of course. He should have bought Emma a ring. He should have been better about that. Heck, even Pete had taken the time to ask Ashlee to marry him and he was dealing with a lot more crap than Patrick was. Was I really that stupid? He thought.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now, he’s with someone else,” Emma said finally.

“He is? Boy, that must be a blow for you,” Natalie commented.

Joe grunted and Patrick shot him a look. He really wanted Natalie to stop. “Hey Natalie, why don’t we not talk about this? I’m sure Emma doesn’t want her, uh, previous relationships hashed out in front of, er, strangers,” Patrick suddenly spoke up.

She looked at him hurt. “Oh, we’re just talking Patrick, it’s no big deal, right Emma?”

Patrick looked away from her as she glared in his direction. “Um, yeah, no of course not,” she replied.

“I’m sure you are relieved though. I mean with him being so busy and all, you probably couldn’t have had a real relationship anyway.”

“No, those were the best times,” Emma said softly. “It was when all of that went away suddenly… then it wasn’t so fun anymore.”

The tour bus got quiet. Pete was glaring at Patrick and mouthing ‘Tell her to shut it.’ Patrick motioned that he tried. He hated having his faults laid bare for everyone to see. Of course the guys already knew the gist of their break up, but it still was painful to hear it being relived.

“Oh,” was all Natalie said. “Did he cheat on your or something? Or was it crystal meth? I hear that stuff is dangerous and all the rock stars use it.”

“Uh, we don’t,” Andy murmured.

“Crystal meth? What is this the 90’s?” Joe piped up. Then Emma started cracking up and it made Pete and Andy also start laughing. Patrick couldn’t help but also laugh because of the absurdity.

Emma wiped tears of laughter from her face, “No, he would never have cheated on me and he did not do drugs. It was just a lot of things. He was in a really bad place at the time…. “ She shook her head. “But like I said, it was a long time ago and he’s moved on.”

“But you haven’t,” Natalie pointed out.

Emma went still. “Of course I have…”

“Oh come on, I can see it all over your face. You are still in love with him!” Natalie said excitedly. “Admit it.”

Emma shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter, if I do or not…”

“Because he has a girlfriend? What if he didn’t?” Natalie pondered. “What if he was single right now. Would you get back with him?”

“Yeah, Emma would you?” Pete piped up, glancing at Patrick with a ‘What the hell?’ expression. Patrick responded with a ‘Shut up’ look, and watched Emma closely to see what she would say.

Emma set her cards down. “Yes,” she said in a low voice.

If Patrick could have kissed her at that very moment, he would have. His heart was marching at a fast pace his palms getting sweaty from the excitement.

“Well, then you should tell him how you feel,” Natalie said knowingly. “I mean, so what if he has a girlfriend? If you two are meant to be together, isn’t that what matters?”

Emma stared at her with a look of amusement. “Oh Natalie, you are so wise,” she said with a touch of sarcasm in her voice that Natalie clearly did not get. She met Patrick’s eyes and raised an eyebrow expectantly. He wondered if Natalie would have the same view if she knew she was the girlfriend that Emma was talking about. Something deep inside him told him no.

Natalie started to speak again, but Patrick pulled her up. “Hey Natalie, I’m kind of tired, why don’t we go to bed,” he announced in an overtly loud fashion.

Natalie looked at him strangely. “Pat are you okay?” she asked him.

“Yeah, PAT, are you?” Joe asked him, a simper on his face. Patrick glared at Joe. He really wished he had told Natalie not to call him that.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just tired, that’s all, let’s go to bed.” He pulled her toward the bunk area.

Natalie was grinning madly and she looked over her shoulder at Emma and the band and whispered, “He probably just wants some since it’s been awhile since he’s had any,” and then she winked.

Patrick winced. That was definitely not what he was trying to do. He wanted Natalie to stop asking Emma so many questions about her ex-boyfriend that was really himself.

“Okay, that’s disgusting,” Joe muttered.

“Yes, I’m sure he does. You have fun with that,” Emma commented, her eyes boring holes into Patrick’s back. He turned around to meet her eyes, trying to let her know that he wasn’t going to do anything with Natalie, but Emma had already turned back around and buried her head in her cards. He met Pete’s eyes instead and he motioned to Emma, gesturing to Pete that he had to let her know that he wasn’t going to have sex with Natalie. Pete raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but nodded slightly in Patrick’s direction. Patrick sighed and pulled Natalie into the bunk area, shutting the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma could barely sleep in her bunk. She didn’t hear much coming from Patrick’s when she had finally went to bed along with the rest of the guys, but that didn’t ease her mind. She knew deep down that she shouldn’t be jealous because Natalie was his real girlfriend, but still the thought of her in Patrick’s bed ignited her envy. She slept fitfully for a few hours and then by six in the morning, she was wide awake. She knew they still had a couple of hours until they arrived in Atlanta for their next concert, so she quietly got out of bed and shut herself in the back lounge area. She decided to review some more of her notes she had been taking and drafting up some preliminary paragraphs for the article, but her mind wandered back to Patrick. She suddenly remembered something that one of the fans had shouted out at the meet and greet the night before. Curious, she opened up her Safari browser and typed in YouTube.

She searched for her name and Patrick’s together and quite a few results popped up of videos of her and Patrick popped up from over five or six years ago. Patrick still had those muttonchops of his and was chubbier than he currently was, but Emma still thought he was cute. She stared at her own image in her jeans and band tee with a pair of worn in red Converse sneakers. She didn’t have nearly as many highlights in her hair. She played the video and couldn’t help but smile. Patrick was playing the acoustic version of “Grand Theft Autumn (Where is Your Boy)” and she was singing with him. They were sitting on a couch in the green room of one of the venues they were at and the camera would pan around the room every so often and she’d catch a glimpse of Marie, Joe’s then girlfriend and now wife, and Andy’s long time girlfriend, Heather, sitting around the room, listening. Watching that girl sing, Emma suddenly felt a million years away from her. She didn’t recognize the girl sitting there, smiling, blushing and making faces at the video camera that was in front of her. She seemed so young and carefree, not burdened with a career and a complicated love life. Not about to hit 30 years old and wondering where her life went.

“You sound really good on that.” His hushed voice startled her. Emma quickly hit the pause button on the video and looked up to see Patrick creeping into the back room and shutting the door behind him.

“What are you doing?” she whispered accusingly.

“I couldn’t sleep at all and I heard someone getting up so I decided to investigate to see who the other sleepwalker was. Should’ve guessed it’d be you,” he replied, taking his glasses off and wiping a smudge off of them with his navy blue t-shirt. “I always liked singing with you. That was actually how we thought of putting a female singer on this record. Pete said he always liked hearing me sing with you and thought it’d be cool to do it professionally.” He walked over and sat down next to her.

Emma glanced at him and shut the lid to her laptop. “Well, I’m happy that I could inspire you,” she said sarcastically. She put her laptop off to the side. “So…”

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Patrick rushed out. Emma’s body winded back slightly in surprise. Patrick blushed. “I, um, wanted to let you know that.”

“Thanks?” Emma replied, unsure of what else she should say although a wave of relief spread throughout her body. She glanced around and saw Patrick’s acoustic guitar in the corner of the room. She smiled at it. “How’s your voice this morning?”

Patrick glanced in the direction she was looking and smiled at her. “It could use a good warm up.” He got up and grabbed the guitar and a pick out of a small container next to it. He brought it back over to the couch and started tuning it. “What are you in the mood for?” he asked her.

She shrugged. “Whatever you want to do.”

He smiled. “Well, there’s one song I’ve noticed you enjoying a lot lately, one of our new ones.” She looked at curiously and he cleared his throat and started singing in a low voice, “I don’t know where you’re going, but do you’ve got room for one more troubled soul, I don’t know where I’m going, but I don’t think I’m coming home and I said, I’ll check in tomorrow if I don’t wake up dead, this is the road to ruin and it started at the end,”

Emma blushed and started in on the chorus of the song, softly so that they didn’t wake up anyone. As they took turns with the verses and harmonized on the chorus, Emma started to feel herself fall into the familiarity of it all and leaned against Patrick slightly, resting her head on his shoulder. She missed the moments like that one where they were both just simply happy and there wasn’t anything that seemed to be able to ruin that feeling. When they finished the song, Patrick strummed a cute little folksy coda to end the song and Emma laughed lightly, nudging him slightly. She turned her face toward him and bit her lip uncertainly. Patrick looked so sexy to her in that moment, in his thick rimmed black glasses, his sandy blond hair sticking out in different directions on the top from sleeping. She leaned in slowly to kiss him, but her ears perked up when she heard the door slowly open and she quickly scooted away form him and looked to see who was interrupting them.

“There you are!” squealed Natalie. She was dressed in a pair of short yoga shorts and a nearly sheer tank top. Emma knew that she had probably slept in that and it made Emma’s anger flare up. She watched Natalie’s eyes dart back and forth between them. “What’s going on?”

Emma stood up. “Nothing, Patrick was playing a song for me, that’s all,” Emma said curtly. “Something they may use in the upcoming album, for the article I’m writing,” she finished explaining. She didn’t give Patrick another glance because she couldn’t keep her eyes off of Natalie’s outfit, or lack there of. “I, um, am hungry, so um,” she trailed off not sure what to say next.

Natalie looked away from her to Patrick. “That’s neat!” she said enthusiastically. She brushed past Emma and plopped herself down on Patrick’s lap, wrapping her arms securely around his neck. Emma quickly left the back lounge area and headed to the front, trying to create distance between herself and Natalie and Patrick. Seeing Natalie brought Emma back to the reality of now. There were no cute duets together, no stolen moments alone on the road; there was no Emma and Patrick anymore. She felt herself collapse onto the couch in the main living area of the tour bus and she curled her knees up to her chest. She realized very quickly that she needed to figure out what she was going to do about her feelings for Patrick.

When they arrived in Atlanta, the rest of the guys were up and everyone had showered and dressed, ready to get the day started. The band had a live interview and acoustic set to do around lunchtime for one of the local radio stations, so they headed out, leaving Emma and Natalie to wander around the Tabernacle, the venue that they would be playing at that evening. Emma had remembered being at that venue before a long time ago. It felt different this time, she felt more like an intruder in the entire spectacle than a welcome participant. She wandered around the balconies, admiring the view of the stage from various points. She knew that there would be so many fans standing in those seats wishing that they were closer to the stage, wishing that they had Emma’s vantage point. She wondered if they knew she too was envious; envious of the closeness that Natalie had to Patrick. She wandered down the stairs that led to the front of the venue where some of the workers were setting up queues for lines to the bars and also a queue for the merchandise table.

“Emma!” She flinched when she heard Natalie’s squeal coming from the double doors that led to the main stage area. She turned around slowly and put on her best smile.

“Hey Natalie, what’s up?” Emma replied, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive manner.

“Well, I’m just bored wandering around this place. Now I know why Joe’s wife doesn’t come on tour; this is so lame!” she whined. “So I was thinking, I’m sure you probably have questions for me and we haven’t gotten to talk at all about me and Patrick, so I wanted to find you.”

The last thing Emma wanted was to start a conversation with Natalie about her and Patrick. The more she found out about Natalie and by extension her relationship with Patrick, the more she disliked the girl and the more she grew angry at Patrick. However, she realized that they were both a bit trapped in that place for the moment so she gave in.

“Why don’t we head to the green room area and we can do a short interview,” Emma offered, and she started back through the double doors that Natalie had come through to head toward the backstage area.

She grabbed her recorder out of her purse that was laying on one of the tables in the room and turned it on. “Okay, so I’m just going to record what you say is that okay?” she asked Natalie, who nodded vigorously.

“This is so cool! I’ve never been interviewed before,” she exclaimed. “Do you need pictures of me?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “No, we pretty much stick to photographs of the guys and their concerts.” She sighed and tried to think of a question to ask. “Um, well, why don’t we start with,” suddenly it came to her, “Oh, okay, let’s start with how you met. Why don’t you tell me about that?” Truthfully, she was a little curious to find out exactly what made Patrick want to actually start dating this girl in front of her.

Natalie grinned. “Okay, well, we actually met through his friend Brendon from that other weird band with a weird name… Panic something.”

“Panic! At the Disco?” Emma offered. “I didn’t know you knew Brendon.”
“I don’t, not really. My boss assigned me to work on some marketing stuff for their upcoming album and he and his wife invited me to some party. They said there was a guy there that they wanted to introduce me to. That was Patrick.”

Emma had a hard time believing that Brendon or his wife, Sarah, thought that this girl who seemed disinterested in everything that Patrick did would be a good fit for him.

“Anyway, so we are at this pretty hip LA party, and they introduced us. Patrick was awkwardly just walking around, looking like he was waiting for someone to talk to him. He was kind of cute, not the typical guy that I normally go for…”

“Which is?”

“Oh, you know, taller, for sure, darker hair, clean cut, very Ralph Lauren,” she replied nonchalantly.

Doesn’t surprise me at all, Emma thought darkly. Natalie continued her story of how she and Patrick met and as she continued, Emma felt her mind drift back to a memory that she hadn’t had in a long time.

~~ The place was filling up fast. Emma was waiting around with the rest of the stagehands at the House of Blues in Chicago, wondering what to expect out of this band that was coming to play there. A few of the other younger male stagehands were leaning against the outside of the venue, brimming with excitement because they had seen this band before around Chicago in smaller venues. The band was part of the emerging phenomenon in rock music called “Emo” and although Emma liked some of the music, she was still having a hard time getting into all of it. She wondered what these guys would sound like.

“So what’s this band’s name again?” Emma asked Steven, a 18 year old kid, who had high hopes of landing on the House of Blues stage himself one day. He turned his black trucker cap off to the side of his head and leaned back against the outside wall.

“They call themselves Fall Out Boy. Seriously Em, if you’re going to be a music journalist one day, shouldn’t you already know this stuff?” Steven asked her, glancing in her general direction.

Emma frowned. “I’m sorry Steven, I guess between classes and this job, I haven’t had time to read up on the latest emo band trying to break into the business,” she shot back.

Just then a 15-passenger white van pulled up with a black utility van behind it. The first guy to step out of the white van was a boy with black hair flat ironed out and tan skin. The driver was a boy with tattoo sleeves on both arms and long reddish brown hair and beard. Then another one with short curly black hair emerged from the back of the van. The last boy to exit the van was just a bit shorter than the rest and a bit chubbier than the rest. He glanced around and fixed his blue trucker hat that was on top of his head, flattening out the mess of sandy blond hair that he had. He had these long sideburns and a pair of black glasses on. He looked directly at her and smiled shyly. She couldn’t help but blush and look down at her feet.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?!” the one with the flat ironed hair exclaimed, coming up to greet the stagehands.

Bobby, the lead stagehand and their supervisor, shook his hand. “Hey Pete, good to see you again,” he said warmly. “I’m assuming the equipment is in the back of the other van?”

“Yeah, we needed the extra room to take naps,” Pete replied.

“Oh yeah? Pretty crazy night then?”

“Ugh, I am never letting Pete talk me into drinking that much again,” the one with the curly black hair complained. “Though I think it hit Patrick, here, the worst, right Patrick?” He grabbed the boy in the trucker hat and wrapped his arm lazily around his shoulders. He just smiled good -naturedly and chuckled a bit.

“Well, why don’t we get you guys to the green room to get set up,” Bobby looked around and eyed Emma. “Emma! Why don’t you show them where to go?”

She stepped forward and smiled at the four boys. “Sure, why don’t you guys follow me.” She turned and led them all into the backstage area of the House of Blues.

“A female crewmember? That’s new,” Pete commented, coming up alongside her. He grinned and leaned his elbow on her shoulder. “So, Emma right?”

Emma glanced at him and shook off his elbow. “Yes, Emma,” She smiled uneasily at him. “Let me guess, you must be the lead singer.”

“Nope, bassist,” he said proudly.

“And a shitty one at that!” The curly black haired one piped up. Emma looked back at him and chuckled.

“Hey! It’s good enough for you nerds,” Pete replied. “No, Patrick there is our lead singer. Best voice in all of rock music.” He pointed to the one with the glasses and sideburns that had eyed her earlier. He was blushing from embarrassment. “Why would you think I was the lead singer?”

“Arrogant, full of himself, bossy? That seems to be the MO for them around here,” she replied.

“Ouch, she’s nailed you down pretty accurately, there Pete,” the one with the beard and tattoo sleeves commented.

Emma stopped in front of the green room door. She looked at Patrick. “Well, you don’t seem to be any of those things.”

“Er, no, not really,” he said in a soft voice. She couldn’t help but smile at him. He looked so cute to her in his glasses and unsure demeanor.

“Well, that’s refreshing,” she said. “So, you two are?” she pointed to the curly black haired boy and the one with the tattoos.

“I’m Joe and this is Andy,” Joe said, sticking his hand out for her to shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Emma. Pete’s right though, we don’t see too many lady crew members where we tour. You into music or something?”

“Or something,” she said, raising her eyebrow. “Um, no, I just want to be around it. I am studying to be a journalist, music journalist, hopefully, one day,” she said. “I hate waiting tables though so this was the next best thing they had available.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Patrick piped up, and the other guys all looked at him oddly. She wasn’t really sure why they did. It was as if they were shocked he was talking to her.

She opened the door and they filed in. “If you need anything, um, let me know, I guess,” she replied, glancing at Patrick again. They all nodded in gratitude and she quickly shut the door behind herself.

She went back out to the vans to help the guys get the rest of the equipment unloaded, and once that was finished, she headed back to use the restroom. As she walked through the backstage area, she let her mind start to wander and for some reason, she kept thinking about the shy lead singer with the nerdy glasses and goofy trucker hat. She was lost deep in thought and didn’t really pay too much attention to where she was going and suddenly she crashed hard into another body on her right side. She felt something wet seep down her shirt and she jumped back, rubbing her right arm.

“Dammit!” she exclaimed, looking down at her shirt which was now wet. “Please be just water,” she muttered.

“It is,” the person who bumped into her said urgently, “Holy smokes, I am so sorry I wasn’t paying attention and…” She looked up and realized it was Patrick, the band’s lead singer. He was holding a now crushed and half emptied bottle of water in his hand. He smiled weakly. “Um, I have an extra shirt, if you need it.”

She wanted to say no, but the thought of working through the rest of the night with a wet shirt did not please her. “Er, sure, thanks. Um, no, don’t be sorry though, I wasn’t really paying attention either,” she muttered. “I have a tendency to day dream.”

He smiled. “Yeah, me too. Mine’s mostly thinking about note progression and rhyming patterns though,” he replied casually. He gestured for her to follow him into the green room area. The rest of the boys were already gone and he explained that they had started their live check. He had gone back to get some water for his throat.

“I guess, you need it considering you got to keep those gold vocal chords, Pete says you have, in tip top shape,” she bemused, wringing out some of the water that was in her shirt.

He opened up his duffel bag and pulled out yellow Hurley shirt. “Yeah, I’m not that great,” he said modestly. He threw the shirt in her direction. She bit her lip and raised her eyebrows at him. “Oh, yeah, er sorry,” he said and quickly turned around.

She watched him for a second to see if he was watching her, and then satisfied that he was not looking, she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped her arms through the one he gave her. “So, um, who are your musical influences anyway? I mean are you like a Steven Tyler, a Jon Bon Jovi or more like a Kurt Cobain?”

“Er, no, not exactly. I’m kind of more rooted in like Elvis Costello, Prince, stuff like that.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Really? Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, I don’t look like some R&B or soul crooner do I?” he said jokingly. “I think they are a bit more suave than I am though.”

She shrugged. “Well, those sideburns don’t help,” she teased and he blushed. “But that’s really cool. I would love to hear you sing some of that stuff some time. I love that kind of music, but I get a lot of flak for it here because these guys are into hardcore rock stuff, like Metallica,” she said, making a face.

He laughed. “Not a fan of Metallica?”

“Not if I can help it.” She sniffed the shirt she was wearing. “I like your cologne or whatever,” she commented.

“Oh well it’s Sex Panther, 60% of the time it works every time,” he replied in his best Brian Fantana impression. She laughed loudly. “I can sing you some of what I usually warm up to, if you, um, want to hear it,” he then said timidly.

“I’d like that,” she replied, taking a seat on ratty old orange couch they kept in the green room. He glanced at her and then started singing “Jack the Knife.” Emma was instantly blown away by the rich full sound of his voice. He did not sound like any of the punk band singers that she had ever heard. When he was finished, she clapped for him, making him blush again. “Okay Dean Martin,” she joked. “So what kind of songs does your band play exactly because I’m sure they aren’t what I thought they were.”

He grinned. “They are labeling us pop punk or emo,” he replied. “I think that’s only because of how Pete cut his hair.”

“He’s the one who looks like he flat irons his hair right?” Emma asked, making Patrick laugh so hard he fell back against the couch, clapping his hands emphatically. She liked how he laughed with such energy as if what she said was the funniest thing he had heard all day. “Tell him he looks like that Shannyn Sossaman girl from A Knight’s Tale.” This made him laugh again.

“Yes, I will definitely tell him that. That’s awesome,” he replied.

She smiled. “I like your voice though. I think it’s unique given what the front men of most of those kinds of bands sound like.” She glanced down at her hands and a wave of courage hit her, “and you’re really cute, so I think that, like helps.” She looked back up at him to see his reaction. He looked pretty stunned. She laughed at herself and stood up. “Anyway, thanks for the t-shirt and uh, have fun out there. I’m sure the crew is pissed that I’ve disappeared and I’m sure your boys are starting to wonder if you ever found some water.” She gave him a small wave and started walking away.

“Hey!” He cried out, jumping a few seconds after she started walking away. She turned around and watched him. He dug his hands into his jeans. “Um, if you want to hang out sometime, that would be pretty cool.”

She bit her lip and smiled. “That sounds like fun. You can quote some more Anchorman to me.”

He chuckled. “Oh, well, really I’m more of a Star Wars geek…”

“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” she said doing her best impression of Princess Leia. It made his eyes widened with excitement. “Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that,” she replied, grinning. She grabbed one of the pens lying around and a napkin and wrote down her name and number. “Can’t wait for the show.”

He took the napkin and looked down at it, a huge smile spreading across his face. “I’ll talk to you later,” he said. Emma closed the door behind her and leaned against it, her whole body buzzing with anticipation and a yearning that she had never felt with any other boy before. ~~~~

“And so, like, yeah, that is how we met,” Natalie said, finishing her story. Emma shook herself out of her reverie and turned off the recorder quickly. She honestly wasn’t paying any attention to what Natalie had said, but she put on her best enthusiastic grin.

“That’s great!” Emma said. “You and Patrick seem very happy together.” She tried to keep smiling.

“We are,” Natalie gushed. “I just like can’t wait for us to get married, settle down and have kids. He’s that kind of guy, you know? The good kind that will give up anything for you and won’t cheat on you and stuff. I know he’s not like the most attractive guy ever, but I guess it’s the sacrifice you get when you want security.”

Emma couldn’t believe what she said. To her Patrick was very attractive. Even when he was overweight, she thought he was the most handsome man in the world and she didn’t feel her affections wane for him even a little bit. “So, you’re with Patrick because he’s like a kid’s baby blanket?” Emma asked her pointedly.

Natalie frowned. “Um, no, I mean, well kind of. He’s just nice to have around.”

Emma nodded. “Right.” She stood up, tired of hearing Natalie talk suddenly. “Okay, I am going to take a nap. Um, thanks for that interview; I’ll see you later.” She hurried away quickly to avoid Natalie trying to come up with a rebuttal.

As soon as she was out of her view, she pulled her phone out and then pulled up Patrick’s number in a text message. Then she quickly typed out: YES I WANT US TO BE A THING AGAIN. She paused slightly before hitting the “Send” button. Once she did, she blew out a heavy breath. Suddenly, her phone started ringing and she gasped, thinking it was Patrick calling. She looked down at the screen and “Christian” was lighting up. She sighed and hit the “Answer” Button.

“Hello Christian, what do you want?”