Dirty Mouth

I burst back into the bar and raced to the table where I’d left Tad a few minutes before. Only now there was someone else sitting in my chair and they had their tongue a good distance down Tad’s throat.

I always felt so awkward when I walked in on people getting intimate, even if it was in a public place. Whatever they were doing was their own personal business and a guy can’t help but feel like he’s not welcome there. So I tried to sneak away from them but as I was turning around Tad stopped me.

“Maxi, where ya headed?”

I paused and spun around on one heel. I tried brushing off the awkward feeling creeping down my spine and forced a smile onto my face.

“Uh, well I was gonna ask you for a ride back to my apartment, but I can see you’re busy so I’ll just get a cab,” I muttered. Tad’s friend’s hand was slowly creeping under the tabletop and I really just wanted to get out of there.

“Oh…wait, why are you going home?” Tad narrowed his eyes.

“I’m meeting up with someone,” I mumbled. It felt weird to say it out loud, I guess. It’s just one of those things I never quite got used to saying; not in this context, anyway.

Tad’s eyes damn near popped right out of his skull. “You’re what?” He asked. He pushed his mystery friend off of him and nearly jumped the table to get to me. “Is it a girl?”

I nodded slowly. “You say that like you’d never expect it to happen,” I half-laughed. I was a bit offended.

“No, no, it’s not that; you’re really hot, Max. It’s just—well, I told you so!” He did a little happy-dance right in front of me.

I winced. “Alright, alright, yeah, you told me so. Settle down,” I said, gripping his arms to get him to stop.

“What’s her name? What are your plans with her? Is she wife material?” He looked like a fucking kid on Christmas.

“Emmie,” I muttered. “And I don’t know yet…but I don’t really have time to talk. I gotta go.”

“I can drive you, it’s no problem,” Tad urged, grappling for his keys in his pocket. “I’ve only had that one beer, I’m good to go.”

I looked from him to the guy back at the table and back again. Not only was the awkwardness still sitting heavy on my shoulders, but I knew if I got Tad to drive me home he’d be asking all sorts of personal-type questions that I couldn’t and wouldn’t answer. So I shook my head and walked away a little.

“No, you look, uh, busy,” I said. “I’ll leave you to it. I got money for a cab.”

“Oh, are you sure? Maybe Mandy can drive you home in the Jeep, if you can find her.” His eyes scoured the bar for any sign of her. I didn’t try looking.

“No, it’s cool. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Tell Mandy I say bye.” I didn’t waste anymore time. I high-tailed it out of there and ran down the street to flag down a cab as quickly as I could. The only reason I wanted a cab to my apartment was because I’d feel like a total loser if I showed up to meet Emmie with no means of transportation. I don’t know. My mind was all muddled up all of a sudden.

The entire cab ride back to the apartment I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Those wild eyes and that sultry voice…I never thought I’d ever meet a girl like her here in Rogersdale. She was trouble in a leather jacket and heels and I really liked it. To think I’d seen her at the Wolf’s Den before…and even then I thought, I could get with a girl like that. But she’d always been too busy getting caught up with every guy that wasn’t me. Well, that was going to change tonight. She wouldn’t ignore me anymore.

I barely even said hello to Sid when I burst through the door to my apartment. He gave me a doggy groan when I didn’t so much as scratch his ears. I just grabbed my keys and left. I’d probably get the silent treatment for a day or so for that one. For a small dog, Sid was pretty temperamental.

I hopped in my Cavalier and took off towards the Wolf’s Den. I was so distracted and nervous I ran a red light. Thankfully no cops were lingering around to witness it. I had enough tickets under my belt to last me for awhile.

I parked harshly in the dusty gravel near the bridge. I nearly fell on my ass going down the steep hill that led to the large alcove under the bridge. There was no water underneath it anymore, I’m not sure if there ever was. All I knew was it’s a great place to hangout and party. I greeted the tags on the cement with the same respecting look when I got to even ground again. The place was covered in graffiti. If you really took the time to explore, you’d find all sorts of things hidden in this place. There’s disco balls, glow-sticks, used condoms; you name it, we got it.

I remembered Emmie had said to meet her by the burning barrel, so I hastily walked into the darkness, trying my best to avoid cement poles on my way. Amidst the crunching gravel underneath my sneakers I could hear the crackling of a dying fire. I followed the noise all the way to the burning barrel on the other end of the bridge. The burning barrel was exactly what it sounds like: a fire pit in a big steel barrel. There were ratty couches and chairs set up around it for people to sit in. I personally didn’t like sitting on the furniture down here. You never know what diseases and rodents they’re crawling with.

I poked my head out around a cement pole, using the flickering light provided by the quickly fading fire to search for Emmie. She wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity and I thought I must be early. I’d never really checked the time before heading down there.

“There you are,” The voice was accompanied by the familiar tick-tick of high heels.

I blinked and my head snapped so quickly to the right my neck cracked. Sure enough, Emmie was there, and she was walking right towards me. I tried to contain my smile as I stepped out from behind the pole. She was really nice to look at. Her eyes were darker in the dim light but I could feel them on me.

“Here I am, just like I said I would be,” That sounded dumb.

She chuckled. “Yes…so are you ready to go?”

I paused in confusion. “But…well I just got here…”

She nodded. “Yes, and now we should leave.”

“Where are we going?” I thought she’d at least want to sit down somewhere and do a little touching first, but apparently I’d been wrong.

“You drove here, right?” she asked, completely glossing over my question.

“Um, yeah,” I said.

“Alright, then drive me back to your place.” She was looking at me like she was actually making sense. Who is this girl?

“Can I ask what the point of coming here was then?”

“I had to pick some stuff up from here,” She patted her jacket pocket faithfully. “I got it, so we can leave now.”

I shook my head. For some reason that kind of pissed me off. I wanted to ask her who she had to suck off to get her shit, but I bit my tongue on that one.

“You make no sense,” I sighed.

“Look, kid,” she snapped, putting one finely manicured finger under my chin. She was almost taller than me in her heels. “You’re the one who dragged me away from my friend so you could try and do dirty things to me. I’m here, you’re here, and I’m asking you to drive us back to your place. If you have a problem with that, then you’re the one who doesn’t make sense. So you can either drive us to yours or I can go home alone, your choice.”

I swallowed and the tip of her fingernail dug into my throat. For a skinny blonde thing, she sure had a fire in her. I had to admire her audacity. And I guess she had a point. I still hadn’t perfected this whole interaction thing just yet. But I wasn’t about to let her go without taking a piece of her first, so I shrugged.

“Fine, let’s go,” I said nonchalantly. She’s not running the show here, and I’ll try my damndest to make that a clear fact.



The closer we got to my apartment door the more anxious I was feeling. I couldn’t remember if I’d left it in a state of total disarray or not. Would she care if it was messy? What if Sid had destroyed the place? What if she hated dogs? Honestly, if she hated dogs, that was a deal-breaker for me right there. I can’t date a woman who can’t handle Sid.

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned when we were climbing the fourth set of stairs. “How many stairs do you have in this fucking place?”

“Only four sets,” I mumbled, opening the door to my floor.

“And you just had to be on the top floor, didn’t you?”

“Looks like it,” I put the key in my lock and heard Sid’s customary bark. “My dog might jump on you, just to let you know.”

“That’s fine,” She shrugged. “I like dogs.”

Thank Christ I was facing away from her, because I was grinning so hard my cheeks hurt.

We stepped inside and Sid barely even sniffed at me before rushing Emmie. She cooed at him and scratched his ears and judging by the smug little look on his furry face I knew he approved of her. What a little shit.

“Uh, do you want a beer?” I asked, scratching at my head.

She laughed. “Do you have anything a little stronger?”

I pulled open the cupboard next to the fridge and scanned its contents. “Um, whiskey, rye, vodka…choose your poison.”

She all but shoved me out of the way and rifled around in my cupboard for a second before producing the bottle of my dad’s Grey Goose I’d stolen. She opened it and quenched her thirst on the way to my living room. I was a bit astounded but I kept my trap shut. I’d never really seen a girl do something like that in a stranger’s house. Again I found myself asking who this girl was.

I sat down in my recliner and she paused, looking around the relatively desolate room.

“Where am I supposed to sit?” she asked bluntly.

I shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

She stared at me for a moment and splayed herself out in my lap like she was a damn cat or something. Of course I didn’t mind her lying across me like that, but it didn’t stop me from being pleasantly surprised. I rested my arm against her shins and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Good choice,” I complimented.

She winked. “Got anything I can make lines on?” She pulled a plastic baggy of white powder out of her jacket pocket.

I reached underneath my chair and pulled out a small square mirror. I don’t do coke on a regular basis, believe me. And if you’re going to ask me why the mirror is there in the first place, well then I’ll have to say fuck you.

She placed the mirror in her lap and shook enough coke out for a couple lines. Then she pushed back her jacket sleeve, revealing a thick woven bracelet with one razor dangling off of it, which she used to slice up the cocaine and push them into orderly lines. I watched her with pure interest. Every movement she made was precise and quick. She did it like cutting up cocaine was her own personal art form, and maybe it was. These days anything can be considered art if someone believes it. When she was finished she set everything aside and I grasped the mirror to hold it steady for her.

“Thanks,” she muttered. She produced a rolled up five dollar bill from her pocket and bowed her head to suck one line up through her nostril. She wiped at her nose and continuously sniffed for a few seconds. It all made me remember why I didn’t snort coke that often. It was too annoying. I really didn’t like the feeling of the whole process. And the high wasn’t even always worth it.

“Your turn, Spikes,” She shoved the mirror into my chest.

“It’s Max,” I corrected, taking it from her.

“So? You don’t like nicknames, Max?” She raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t Max short for something?”

“Yeah, and I don’t mind ‘em,” I shrugged. “But I don’t know if you’re qualified to give me a nickname just yet.”

She laughed. “I have to be qualified? What makes you so special?”

“I’m magic,” I said, flashing my eyes.

“No you’re not,” She smirked victoriously. “A kid like you can’t be magic.”

“Oh yeah? Watch, I’ll make this line of coke disappear,” I bent down and sniffed it into my skull. “See? It’s gone!”

“Wow, amazing,” She slow-clapped. “You’re pathetic, you know that?”

“Of course I know that,” I muttered, wiping my nose. “Pathetic is practically my middle name.”

“Why’s that? I was only joking,” she said, taking the mirror and setting it on the coffee table for the time being.

“I know, but I’ve been hearing that all my life,” I shrugged. “You just kind of get accustomed to feeling useless, y’know?”

She gave this sad little smile and nodded, and I knew she understood all too well. It kind of made me sad to see her like that, I guess. Because to me a girl as pretty as her shouldn’t feel like she means so little. But I guess even the people who look like they couldn’t have a care in the world are just as troubled as anyone else; they just put on a better mask.

The silence started to make me feel awkward, so I grabbed the vodka and took a swig. God, did it burn. Every time I drank straight alcohol I wondered why I did it, but then I realized I didn’t really care.

“Your dog’s cute,” she said after awhile, nodding towards Sid, who was resting by my feet.

“Yeah, that’s Sid,” I smiled at him. “He’s my best friend.”

“A dog’s your best friend?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t really have anybody else.”

“What about that guy you were with at the bar? He seemed like he was your friend.”

“We are, just not best friends.”

“Hm.” She grabbed the bottle from me and took a drink. She stared pensively at it for a moment or two, slowly circling the top with her finger.

She looked bored. I felt kind of shitty, I mean, I had nothing else for us to do. To be fair, I hadn’t planned on bringing anyone home. The thought of even meeting someone at that dumb bar had been a fleeting hope. So now that it had actually happened, I was a bit lost.

I patted her legs. “Get up, I gotta go get something,” I thought I’d try to liven things up the only way I knew how.

She stood up and I rose out of the chair. On my way to my bedroom I could hear her settle herself into the chair. I smirked, getting the feeling I was going to be sitting on the floor when I got back.

I grabbed my bong, a lighter, and my bag of dope and walked back out into the living room. Emmie grinned wolfishly at me when she saw what I was carrying.

“Things just got interesting,” She chuckled.

I lost count of how many bong rips we took. At one point it was just like breathing. We’d take a rip and pass it, then repeat. The high from the powder and the dope sparked wild conversation that made no sense whatsoever. But really, that’s the best kind of conversation, isn’t it? You actually feel comfortable with a person when you can talk about nothing at all and still feel like you’re having a great time. It’s like it doesn’t matter what you say, because they’ll still laugh or smile at you, and really that’s all you’re looking for. I don’t know; maybe this explanation makes about as much sense as our conversation did.

I smoked her down pretty hard. We swallowed a lot of the vodka. She was laughing at something I said; I’m not even sure what it was. There was a slight lull in our conversation. I put my hands on the armrests of my recliner, looming over her. I stared straight into those glassy blue eyes and smirked. She looked right back, not faltering for a second.

“You still think I’m shit?” I asked.

She sat up a little in the chair, not taking her gaze off of me. “No, but you’re pretty fucked up.”

Why yes, I am, I thought, figuratively and literally.

“So we’re equals then?”

She nodded slowly. “Somewhat,”

“Good enough for me.”

I bowed my head and kissed her. I didn’t ask first, because I wasn’t a fucking gentleman; I never was. Who asks a girl if he can kiss her anymore? If I want a girl I’ll try to get the girl. And I wanted Emmie, a lot.

When I pulled back we stared each other down for a second. Her fingers combed through my hair slowly and she half-smiled.

“You really want me to consider you as just another boy to mess around with?” she asked in a hushed voice.

Slowly, I shook my head. I didn’t want that. I wasn’t going to get that treatment. To everyone else I might be just another punk; just another miscreant, flipping burgers for minimum wage and smoking a lot of pot. But to Emmie, I didn’t want to be just another kid. I didn’t want to be another person who made her feel useless or invisible. I wanted to be a hell of a lot more than just that.

“No,” I whispered. “I want to be the only boy you mess around with.”

She nodded pensively and those eyes searched me some more. “That’s quite a staggering proposal.”

“Yeah, for both of us.” I half-laughed. Part of me couldn’t believe what I was saying. The other half was just standing idly by, waiting for her to respond.

She seemed to falter a little bit. That worried me. It was never good to see a girl hesitate and frown after you ask her out. Immediately I started to hate myself for even bringing it up. I just met her tonight. How fucking stupid can a person be?

I walked away from her, turning my back on her. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, pulling at the ends of my hair. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s the buzz…”

There was a pause. I thought the worst, of course. I figured she was probably trying to decide if she was just going to leave and hail a cab home. I guess that was one of my problems. I always believed in the worst case scenario, because the best case scenario was too good to be true. Nothing good would happen to me because I don’t deserve it. My mentality was pretty screwed up in this case.

Then I felt light fingertips on my arms. It made my heart seize up in my chest for a second. She hadn’t left. She was touching me. But, why?

I turned around slowly at the urgency of her touch and she stared up at me with something else in those black-rimmed eyes. I couldn’t quite place it, but I liked seeing it just as much as it terrified me. I’d never received that look from someone else before. It was comforting and disconcerting at the same time; confident but unsure.

“It’s okay, Max,” she whispered. “We’ll just have to see, okay? We’ll see…”

I nodded and she started kissing me again. I just kept remembering those words; replaying them over and over again in my mind.

We’ll see. She said we’ll see.