Miles Away From You

All of them were there. They were drinking, laughing, talking, just simply having a good time. Brian smiled at his boyfriend, squeezing the green-eyed man's hand. Zacky returned the smile and leaned his head on the taller of the two's shoulder, smiling contently.

"Aw, look at you two lovebirds. So in love." Leana teased, making the guys laugh.

"You know it." Brian smirked, taking a sip of his beer. "Anyways, I gotta take a piss, so..." He shrugged, standing up, ignoring the disapproving groans.

"And you just had to share that with us, didn't you?" Johnny scrunched his nose up in disgust, along with the others.

"Of course! Anything I do should be known 'cause it's just that important." Brian scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Cocky bastard." Matt shook his head, smirking.

"Oh, honey, I know you want my cock." Brian smirked at him, winking as he walked in the bathroom.

"I don't think Val and Zacky would be so happy." Matt shouted. "Anyways, what should we do for Brian's farewell party? We should keep it a secret and surprise him." Matt suggested, earning nods of approval.

"I think we should just do something like this. A small gathering of close friends and family. That way, it would be more intimate and special, I guess." Val threw in.

"And we need lots of alcohol!" Jimmy jumped in, making them laugh. The only person who didn't understand what they were talking about was none other than Zacky. Where did Brian want to go? Zacky tilted his head to the side and looked at his friends in confusion.

"Farewell party? For what?" Zacky asked, and everyone's heads whipped in his direction, shocking him just the slightest bit.

"He didn't tell you?" Lacey, who was wrapped in Johnny's arms, asked.

"Tell me what? He didn't tell me anything." Zack stitched his eyebrows together, his confusion growing larger by the second.

"Zack, he got in the military. He's being deployed to Iraq, also including training in Europe." Val told him.

"What?" Zacky breathed out, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Well, I guess we'll leave you both alone so you guys could talk. Come on, guys." Jimmy stood up, holding Leana's hand before walking outside, the others following suit close behind.

"Hey, guys, why don't we... Wait, where are they?" Brian stopped his tracks when he saw there was only Zack. A teary-eyed Zack at that. "Zack? Are you okay?"

"Is it true?" Zack's voice faltered.

"What? Is what true?' Brian asked, walking towards Zacky, holding his hands. "What happened, Zack? You're scaring me."

"Is it true? You're getting deployed to Iraq?" Zack looked at him, tears now overflowing down his cheeks.

"Zack..." Brian trailed off.

"Why didn't you tell me, Brian? When will you tell me? At the last minute and you'll just leave me here alone?" Zack asked, his body now shaking.

"No, Zacky, I was just trying to find the perfect moment to tell you." Brian sighed, and all of a sudden, a pair of arms found its way around Brian's neck, and Zack was clinging onto him helplessly.

"Please, please, don't leave me." Zack sobbed, holding Brian tighter. Brian hugged him closer to him and sighed, closing his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that were already welling up in his eyes.

"I can't, Zack. It's already settled. I'm leaving in three days." Brian told him, cupping Zacky's face in his hands, brushing away the tears with his thumb.

"I don't want you to leave, Brian, please don't leave me here alone, please." Zacky cried, hugging Brian even tighter.

"I'm so sorry, Zacky. But I have to do this. For us. For you. For the guys. For this country." Brian said, which made Zacky sob harder. He pressed his face onto the crook of Brian's neck.

"How long will you be away?" Zacky asked timidly.

"Zack..."

"Just tell me, Brian."

"Three years."

"Oh, God." Zacky sobbed, fisting Brian's shirt in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I... I miss you already."

"How could you do this to me?" Zack sobbed.

"I'm sorry."

---

"This is for Brian, for being the bestest friend in the whole world to all of us, and for being a good person and actually sacrificing himself for our country, for us, for our rights. We love you, brother." Jimmy toasted and everybody clinked their glasses together.

Zacky couldn't handle this anymore. He ran out of the room, outside the house, sitting on the bench in the backyard. Their friends and family looked at Zacky, then at Brian, who looked just s miserable. Brian stood up and sighed, running after the one who held his heart. He found him crying on the bench, alone and cold. Brian took of his jacket and walked over to him, placing his jacket round the smaller man's shaking frame.

"Zack, I know it's hard, and I, myself don't actually want to go right now knowing you'd be even more devastated than now. I'm so sorry." Brian spoke, hugging Zacky.

"I don't want you to go." Zacky bawled.

"I don't want to either. But I have to. But hey, I'll be back. It won't even feel like three years." Brian smiled, trying to make his Zacky smile.

"Yeah, it would feel like three hundred years." Zack retorted, laughing humorlessly.

"I know." Brian sighed. "But Zack, you know I love you right? I love your beautiful eyes, your pink lips, your cute little nose, your face, your body, everything about you, including your flaws. I love you so much. I love you much more than my own life. I love you so much, and if there is a word that means something stronger than love, I would use it, but Zacky, I love you so much." Brian reached for his pocket and pulled something out. "I was just wondering if you could make me the happiest and luckiest person in this whole universe and marry me?" Zack gasped and looked at Brian.

"Brian... Oh my god, yes! Yes!" Zacky laughed through tears. Brian felt the weight of the world fall off his shoulders as he slid the ring around Zack's ring finger. Zack pulled him up and kissed him passionately, and you could feel all the love just by that kiss. Zack pulled away and looked at him sadly, hugging Brian tightly.

"I promise Zack, when I get home, I'll marry you immediately." Brian smiled, kissing Zack's temple, cherishing this moment before he gets sent out to training and Iraq.

---

Everyone was crying. Today was the day Brian leaves. Brian hugged and had an exchange of loving words with all of them before he walked towards Zack, who's face was now drenched in tears. Zack clung to him tightly and Brian breathed in the scent he was surely going to miss for the next three years.
Brian hugged Zack's waist tightly as Zack hugged Brian's neck, crying onto Brian's shoulder.

"I'll be back before you know it, I promise." Brian told him, also crying.

"I don't want you to go." Zack sobbed quietly.

"I know you don't. I love you so much, okay, Zack? Don't ever forget that." Brian's hand reached down to Zack's left hand, fiddling with the ring resting there.

"I won't ever forget that. I love you so much, Brian." Zack said to him, which made his heart break a little when he saw and heard how miserable he was.

"I love you too, Zack, so, so much. I miss you already."

"I'm gonna miss you so much." Zack cried.

"Me too, babe, me too." Brian sighed as the bus driver honked the horn. "Well, I guess this is it."

"I love you so much, Brian." Zacky sobbed.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. Don't forget me, okay? I love you so, so much. I love you." Brian gave Zack one last kiss before walking away. He turned towards all of them and waved, before he got on the bus.

Everyone was crying harder than before, but the most prominent painful cries belonged to Zack. Val went over to Zack and hugged him. Zack cried onto her shoulder, and Matt stroked his back, trying to soothe him. They all formed a group hug, telling each other how much they loved each other. Zacky looked at the engagement ring and kissed it, holding it close to his heart.

---

It has been almost two years now, and the contact they used to keep are slowly dissolving, turning into nothing, which made Zack's heart break even more than it did before, if it was actually possible. Zack was in so much pain and it could be seen from the outside. He had gotten really skinny, his eyes sunken, huge bags under his eyes, and paler. His friends and family worried about him truly, scared that he would actually do something stupid.

Zack sat on his side of the bed, staring blankly beside him, the untouched and made side of the bed. Brian's side of the bed. Zack jumped when he heard the robot-like voice tell him he had a new voice message. It was from an unknown number. He scrambled to take the phone and played the voicemail, his heart clenching when he heard Brian's voice.

"Hey, Zacky. I'm going to go to Iraq for real tomorrow, it's going to be real. No training, no nothing. I'll be in an actual war zone. And I could actually get hurt. I... I don't want to get hurt, Zee. I want to be able to come home to you and hold you in my arms until the sun burns out. Zack... I miss you so much. I miss you more than you could imagine. I have dreams about you sometimes... Nightmares. I dreamt things like you dying, or you killing yourself, and it's horrible. I can't stand seeing you like that. I just want to make you better. But Zack, I have one more year. Just one more year and I'll get to meet you again, kiss you again, hug you again, love you properly. I miss you so much. Zacky... I'm scared. I'm so scared. WHat if I didn't make it? But no, I don't want to think like that. I want to come home to you, but seriously, I'm really, really scared. I, um, that's all I've got left. my time's running out, but Zack, please, remember, I love you so much. If anything happens, I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you. I miss you so much. I love you, Zack. Stay safe. I love you."

As soon as the voice message had finished with a beep, Zacky broke down. He had never heard Brian sound so scared before, and that in turn made him even more scared than before. Not to mention how much Zacky misses Brian right now. It was the worst feeling you could ever imagine. To want someone to be there with you but not getting to have that someone be there with you. Missing someone is probably the worst things you could ever imagine or go through.

Zack cried himself to sleep, just like every other night, and prayed to God he could just sleep through the year and meet Brian already.

---

This is it. It has been three years. The guys, as per usual, made a surprise party for Brian when he walks through the front door. Zack was as nervous as ever. What if Brian changed and didn't love him anymore? What if Brian thought he was ugly now? What if Brian left him? He somehow got a bad feeling in his stomach but shook it off, thinking nothing about it.

A knock on the door interrupted him from his thought and Val and Lacey looked up at the door then at Zack. They weren't even finished decorating yet. Zack's heart went a million miles a minute as he walked towards the door shakily. He opened the door slowly and got confused when someone in uniform, but wasn't Brian, was standing on his doorstep.

"Can I help you, sir?" Zacky asked, a nervous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

"You're Zachary James Baker, I assume?" The man asked, his voice stern.

"Yes, yes, I am." Zack nodded, and Val approached them.

"Well, Mr. Baker, I don't know how to tell you this, but your fiancee has been pronounced missing in action. My apologies, Mr. Baker. Have a nice day." The man tipped his hat and walked away.

Zacky stood frozen in front of the door, three words echoing in his head. Missing in action... Missing in action... Missing in action... Zack fell down to his knees and cried into his hands. Val kneeled before him and stroked his back, hugging him. Lacey came running towards them and Val shook her head, and Lacey understood everything that happened. Lacey sighed and kneeled beside Zack, running her hands through his hair.

"Zack, everything will be okay-" Lacey started but was cut off by Zacky.

"No, it won't! Brian is missing somewhere across the ocean! We're supposed to get married and live a happy ending but now he's missing! How would you react if Johnny went missing somewhere miles away?!" Zacky boomed, shocking both girls.

"Zack, let's get you upstairs, okay? You can go lay down, and take a rest, and just relax for an hour or two, okay?" Val suggested, and Zacky nodded, walking upstairs.

He laid down on Brian's side of the bed and pressed his face to Brian's pillow. It still smelled like him after three years. It only made him cry harder. Val called all the guys up and asked for them to come there to tell them the news. She looked over to Zack and saw that his breathing had evened out. He was sleeping. She quietly tip-toed out and walked down to the living room where Lacey was sitting. He had tears running down her face.

"Brian's gone, Val." She whispered, looking up at Val. Val nodded and cried along with her, hugging each other.

They heard cars parking outside and they wiped the tears away, opening the doors for them.

"Hey, guys." Lacey sighed, smiling.

"So what's the news? When is Brian coming home?" Jimmy asked excitedly, his crystal blue eyes glinting.

"He's not coming home, guys. He's missing." Val told them, bursting into tears. Matt immediately consoled her, holding her. While the others stared blankly. Johnny hugged Lacey and sighed.

"How did Zack take it?" He asked.

"Oh, that poor thing. He was devastated. I could literally see the life coming out of his eyes. His eyes are dull and he's practically dead now." Val sniffled, hugging Matt tightly. They knew everything was gonna get worse from then on.

---

It has been weeks after the news, and the guys have been taking turns taking care of Zacky. But today, they were all out, buying food for Zacky, which was useless anyway. He would never eat it. Zack was in the lowest of the low. He's not eating, not even drinking, not talking, not moving. He just bawls his eyes out and cry himself to sleep, and everything is just a mean cycle.

What the guys didn't know was that he was giving up, right here, right now. He took the bottle of anti-depressants and poured half the contents onto his hand. He was set on taking it in one gulp without hesitations, and that was what he was about to do. He lifted his hand to his mouth but stopped when he heard someone knock at the door.

That's weird. The guys would always come in without knocking. Zack put the pills down and stood up for the first time in weeks. He felt light-headed as he walked, his head spinning. He walked slowly down to the front door, opening the door as he rubbed his eyes.

"Zack... I'm here, baby." Zacky froze as he heard that voice. It was his voice. He slowly lifted his head up and there he was, in all his glory. Zack let out a choked sob and jumped into Brian's arms, crying hysterically.

"You're here! You're back! I missed you so much!" Zacky sobbed happily as he kissed Brian over and over again.

"Babe... Haven;t you been eating?" Brian's eyes flickered with concern.

"I... I don't eat anymore. This is actually the first time I've talked in weeks." Zack admitted shyly.

"Zack, we'll go through this together, okay? I'm here now, and I'll make you better." Brian smiled.

"Okay." Zacky smiled, and for the first time ever in years, he felt happy.