Remembering Sunday

“He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,
started making his way past two in the morning,
he hasn’t been sober for days.”
Alex's POV:
I still lay awake, holding a beer in my hand, staring blankly at the ceiling. My mind was empty, vacant of any thoughts, all except of how badly I wanted to die. Even drunk, my depression still lingered, sucking all the life from me. I’d been laying here for days now, just drinking my feelings away. My cheeks were coated with dried tears, my hair a greasy mess. The beer bottle I had been holding slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor with a clank, falling beside many others. That had been my last beer, but I didn’t move. I hardly flinched.
The hours continue to pass by endlessly, and I lay in the same position, staring at the same crack in the ceiling. I thought I had no more tears to cry, but the more I thought of what I had done, the more managed to seep out and slide down to the sheets, joining the others in a sticky mess.
I turned my head to look at the alarm clock, and frowned as the digital letters read that it was 2:15 AM. I sat up and stretched my muscles a little bit before walking to the bathroom to have a look at myself.
My eyes were swollen, blood shot, and covered in a sticky film that couldn’t be rubbed away. My hair was in knots and tangles, and it looked like someone had poured oil all over it. I stunk terribly, having not showered for several days now. My breath smelled foul of alcohol, and my body was sticky with remnants of beer that had spilled on me.
I dragged my pathetic self to the shower and turned on the water. Shedding off my clothes, I checked the temperature to make sure it was just right before stepping in and letting the water cascade down my neck and back. I closed my eyes, and my thoughts began rolling back to last Sunday.

“Jack. You need to stop drinking.”
“I will I will… just one more drink…”
“Jack, listen to me. Pick one. Me or the alcohol.”
“Come on! Getting drunk every once in awhile is fun.”
“But You’re different when you’re drunk. You do things that you wouldn’t do sober. You flirt with girls. It’s not fair to me.”
“Its not fair to me that I have a boyfriend that won’t let me fucking drink!”
“Alright, fine! You know what then? Have your alcohol then.” I slammed my fist on the table and stood up.
“Alex…wait…”
But I was hardly listening. I just walked out.
I shivered and started to cry again as I massaged shampoo in my hair for probably the third time, losing track how many times I had used it. I shouldn’t have left Jack like that. But I did. That night he sent me the most heart breaking text I ever received:
Alex,
I’m so sorry that you’ve been sucked into my problems. I’m a fuck up, and you deserve better than me. We weren’t meant to be. I know you’ll find happiness with someone else. So this is good bye. I’m sorry it has to be this way.
With love,
Jack.
I washed the soap from my hair, rubbing my head which now stung terribly as I sobered up. When I was finished, I jumped out of the shower, dried myself quickly, and threw on a t-shirt and shorts. I made my way down the stairs and slipped on my shoes before stepping out into the night.
“Leaning now, into the breeze,
remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees,
they had breakfast together but two eggs don’t last
like the feeling of what he needs.” The cool night air greeted me with a nip to my ears, and I shivered a little. I made my way down the street, my footsteps echoing through the silent night. I thought about turning around and going home. No one was out at this late hour. No one, except for me. But what was there to return home to? I had nothing anymore, I wasn't a person anymore. I was a nobody, I just existed. I’m weak. I’m worthless. I’m Alexander Gaskarth.
I stood on the street, shivering from the breeze. My legs wobbled. Jack and I always used to walk here to get breakfast…
I had called him so many times after the text he sent me. He never picked up. I was so frustrated that he wouldn’t answer. I texted him and texted him but I never got a response.
I fell to my knees. At my feet was a carving in the sidewalk Jack and I had engraved one night when the cement was wet. It was a heart with an A + J on the inside. I rubbed my finger across the surface of the carving, feeling the texture of the cement. Oh how old this carving was now…
“Son?”
I looked up to a construction worker. I hadn’t even noticed the trucks pull up. “y-yeah?” I mumbled.
“We need to ask you to leave. This cement is old now; we need to tear it up.”
“W-what? You’re gonna replace it?” My eyes watered.
“Yeah, theres a lotta cracks. It’ll be brand spankin’ new.” He gave me a smile, not noticing from the dark that I was crying. I nodded and headed off, distraught that our carving was to be destroyed. Tears fell on the pavement as I walked onwards, not caring which direction I was going in.
The breeze kicked up, ruffling my hair and making my teeth clatter. I should’ve worn a sweatshirt, but they were all I my closet, underneath Jack’s sweatshirts. And I wasn’t ready to look at those yet.
“Now this place seems familiar to him,
she pulled on his hand with a devilish grin,
she led him upstairs, she led him upstairs,
left him dying to get in.” My legs had carried me on a walk I used to always take without even realizing it. I recognized these familiar houses, and watched as one white colored house in particular neared me. It was Jack’s house.
It took a lot for me to walk up to his porch. I noticed not a single light was lit in the house. I found the spare key under the mat and turned the lock. The door swung open with a screech of protest, the noise echoing throughout the house. I switched on the light and my stomach dropped.
The house was empty.
None of the furniture was there any longer. The walls that once hung frames and pictures lay vacant, and as I walked my footsteps echoed around the emptiness of the house, the noise hanging in the air.
“Jack!?” I screamed, my voice echoing through the house. The only answer was my own echo. “Where are you?” I whispered, my voice cracking in my throat.
I looked up at the flight of stairs, and I remembered one night when Jack had taken me by the hand and brought me upstairs to his room for the first time. He had set it up so beautifully for me, and he had candles lit so perfectly, and the atmosphere was perfectly romantic. He started to play slow music and walked to me, bowed, and smiled as he asked sweetly. “May I have this dance?”
My eyes started to water at the memory and decided it was time to leave, unable to bear the memories that the house brought. I shut off the light and locked the door once more, trying not to cry.
“Forgive me I’m trying to find,
My calling, I’m calling at night,
I don’t mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
Shes been running through my dreams, Shes been driving me crazy it seems,
I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
I walked down the steps and put my hands in my pocket. The overwhelming sensation of reality hit me like a brick. I staggered a bit from the immense pain and sadness I felt. My love was gone. He’d disappeared without me knowing. How could he do this to me?
With a shaky hand I drew the phone from my pocket. I exhaled, letting the air clear fully from my lungs before I dialed Rians number. It rung for awhile until a sleepy voice answered.
“Alex? whats wrong?”
My voice cracked, and it was obvious I was crying. “Where is he?” My eyes welled with tears.
“Who?”
“Who else would I be talking about?” I felt bad snapping at him, I hadn’t meant to. I sighed. “Sorry. Jack?”
“I have no idea… he’s not home?” Rian’s response sent unwanted clenches in my stomach.
“His house is completely empty.” I looked at the house and frowned, stifling a sob. I tugged on my hair.
“R-really? I have no idea. Did you try calling him?”
“He wouldn’t pick up.”
“Hmm. me either. He hasn’t picked up for the past few days.” I heard Rian sigh.
“Alright man. Thanks. Take care.” Before he could protest, I hung up. He called back, but I ignored the call and shut my phone off. I wasn’t in the mood for talking.
“Even though she doesn’t believe in love,
he’s determined to call her bluff,
who could deny, these butterflies,
they’re filling his gut.
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces,
he pleads though he tries
but he’s only denied
now he’s dying to get inside.”
I began to walk, beginning to feel hopeless, when I noticed a window in the neighbor’s house glowing. Maybe they were awake? Surely they would know what had happened to Jack?
I made my way up their steps and rang the door bell. It chimed a happy melody, and the sound of confused voices arose from deep within the house. Shortly after I could hear the scuffling of feet, and the door opened to reveal an old lady in her pajamas. She fixed her glasses and looked at me. “Can I help you?”
“Hello… your neighbor… Jack Barakat.. do you know where he is?”
“Wait, you’re that Alex kid? Sorry. I don’t know.” She started to shut the door.
“Wait! Please!” I pleaded. “You have to tell me!”
“I said I don’t know!” She growled, trying to shut the door, but I pushed on it to keep her from shutting it.
“Please, you have to tell me. It’s important.”
“Look, I’m sorry, but it’s none of my business.” She slammed the door shut in my face and I groaned with anger and kicked a stone from the porch. Where the fuck was he!?

“Forgive me I’m trying to find,
My calling, I’m calling at night,
I don’t mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
Shes been running through my dreams, it’s been driving me crazy it seems,
I’m going to ask her to marry me.
The neighbors said she moved away, funny how it rained all day,
it didn’t think much of it then,
but it’s starting to make sense,
Oh, I can see now, that all of these clouds,
are following me in my desperate endeavor,
to find my whoever, wherever she may be.”
I headed in the opposite direction. There were no lights on in his other neighbor’s house, but I didn’t care. Not in the slightest. I rang their doorbell anyway.
Another elderly woman answered the door, a completely unfamiliar face. She seemed sleepy, but smiled when she saw me. “You must be Alex.”
I was surprised she knew my name. “Y-Yes…”
“I knew you’d come for him.” She gestured for me to enter. “Come in.”
Still extremely confused, I entered her small house. I looked around at the colorless walls, covered with frames of pictures and paintings. I took my shoes off, and my feet sank into the carpet, soothing them after my long walk. I wiggled my stiff toes around the plush carpeting. Jack had soft carpet like this…
She headed to the living room, and I followed her. She sat down on the couch, so I took a seat at the one opposite her. She looked at me, sighed, and started to speak.
“He told me not to tell you anything, but I know that you need to know.” She looked at me, her eyes full of sadness. “He was so upset upon leaving. Hauling all his stuff out in the van… I asked him where he was going in such a hurry. At first he wouldn’t tell me… but after a bit of convincing he told me he was moving to Texas. To live with some cousins, I believe.”
“W-what? Texas?” My eyes began to water.
“I know. I’m so sorry Alex. I really am.”
Some length of time passed. I don’t know how much, but it seemed like eternity. She remained silent, respecting my lack of response as she sat and watching me with clear sympathy drawn across her face.
I finally broke the strong I had been holding onto and started to cry. “Thank you for your time.” I stood up and she put a hand on my shoulder. I turned and looked at her in the eyes.
“Alex, remember this, the people we truly love, will always find a way back to us.”

“Im not coming back, I’ve done something so terrible,
I’m terrified to speak, but you’d expect that from me,
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt now the rain is just washing you out of my hair,
and out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world, so many thousands of feet off the ground,
I’m over you now; I’m at home in the clouds, towering over your head.”
Jacks POV:
There was a thump as the plane landed, and I instinctively looked to the person next to me, expecting Alex to be there for a moment. But instead, there was a man dressed in a suit, I assumed for some business trip. He didn’t meet my gaze and I looked away. This is the part of the plane ride where I would’ve held Alex’s hand, as he hated the take-offs and landings. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking about him.
I stepped out of the plane and retrieved my bags quickly, heading to meet my cousins. They greeted me excitedly and started to chat, but I hardly listened to a thing they said. I really wished they would shut up, and I came quite close to snapping at them, but I kept myself from doing so.
The car ride to their house dragged on. The chatter became white noise to me as I stared out the window at the flat lands that dragged on endlessly. Often I’d see farms and cattle roaming in fields, something I rarely ever saw back home. Maybe these new things could be exciting somehow.
It was sweltering hot, the van had no air conditioning. My cousins chatted away though, clearly unbothered by the extreme heat and stuffiness inside the cooped-up vehicle. My cousins were too cheery to notice anything was really wrong with me, and just nudged me whenever I spaced out thinking of Alex. I was thankful though, they were getting me away from him. I had to be away from him, for his own good.
Living life on a farm proved to be no fun at all. There was tons of work, and I absolutely despised waking up at dawn. I was a night person. A Party person, from Baltimore. This was not my thing. Hauling truck loads across fields in the blazing hot weather proved to be one of my least favorite things. Worst of all, was there were no days off. Every day, I had to wake up and do some kind of chore. It was awful, and I had no idea how people lived like this. Fuck, I needed to go back to making music with my band. My family. My Alex.
“Well I guess I’ll go home now…
I guess I’ll go home now…
I guess I’ll go home now…
I guess I go home.”
Alex’s POV:
I tried to forget about Jack. I really did. I tried to forget about him. I went to the bar with Zach and Rian in hopes it would do the trick. But no guy could ever come close to him. I loved him too much. I tried contacting him. I tried so hard. Telelphone, texting, email, anything that could possibly let me speak to my love again. But all these attempts were in vain. At this point, I was ready to buy a plane ticket to find him.
But I didn’t have to go that far.
It was 4’o clock in the afternoon. I was laying in my bed, strumming chords on my acoustic guitar, singing softly to myself to try to get the pain off my chest. A familiar figure entered my room, I saw from the corner of my eye. I immediately stopped strumming and sat up. I turned around.
“J-jack?” my jaw dropped instantly.
Jack nodded. “Oh Alex…” his eyes were full of regret.
I dropped my guitar and ran over, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in his hair. I started to cry, and so did he. We held each other close and cried hard.
I ran my fingers through his silky hair. He was here. In my embrace. My love was back.
“oh Alex… I’m so sorry…” Jack cried softly.
“Me too Jack… I shouldn’t have been so pissed at you…Please…don’t ever leave me again.” I whispered.
“I promise.” He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and smiled, caressing his cheek and wiping the tears from his face. We began to remove each other’s clothes in a heated kiss, returning to life just as it was before he ever left.
***
I was sitting in my room with a look of concentration. I was writing furiously, scribbling down lyrics that were spilling from my head. I relived the pain and depression I had been through when Jack had left me for the seemingly endless period of time. I was so concentrated on writing the song I didn’t notice Jack had entered.
“babe?” He walked in.
“I’m writing. Shh.”
“Oh, sorry.” He giggled. “Guess I should have some guitar riffs ready for the rad new song?”
I scribbled out the last few lyrics of the song and grinned at my work. I looked up and smiled at Jack. “yup.”
“What’s it about?” Jack walked over and looked over my shoulder. Only he could read my scribbled hand writing.
“Well, it’s kind of about these two lovers. One did something wrong, and they left the other because they had done something so terrible.”
Jack smiled, knowing exactly what the song was about. “I have a good idea for a name.”
“What’s that?” I asked, arching my eyebrow.
“Remembering Sunday.”
Sunday. The day the fight happened. I looked up at him and smiled. “That’s perfect.” we twined our fingers together and I stood up, heading downstairs to find Rian and Zach to work on the new song. The new song that would show how invincible our love was. We’d be together, forever and always.