Tied

I changed into my pajamas, spongebob lounge pants and a black t-shirt, and headed to the bathroom. Cici had gone to bed already, so she wasn't bothering me while I got ready for bed. I stared at my face in the mirror for a minute before washing my makeup off. As I dried my face with a towel, my mind strayed to my words...

Am I going to have another dream tonight...?

I shuddered and started brushing my teeth. I hoped not. I couldn't figure out what was going on, and another dream would just make everything worse.

I spat my toothpaste in the sink and looked at my face again in the mirror. It looked so different without my comfortable mask of makeup. My eyes had dark circles under them, and my skin looked pale, almost fragile. I looked sick. Unhealthy.

Am I going crazy? That would explain it all. I'm just sitting in an insane asylum right now,
mumbling to myself about Poe and wearing a straighgjacket. This is all in my head!

I sighed and lifted up my shirt, pressing the pads of my fingers against the scrawled words. My skin felt warm to the touch, and I remembered the look on Rhea's face when she touched my words...

And the warmth her cool fingers spread through my body...

I startled at the thought. I don't feel that way about Rhea! She's my friend. That's it.

I slid my fingers to the pale white line on my belly. My scar. A subtle and constant reminder that
something inside of me is missing.

Of course, it's only my appendix missing, but sometimes it felt like more...

Or maybe it was just my stupid-ass boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend I should say. He took my heart, cut it up just like his wrists, and shoved it back inside of me, barely beating. I couldn't do that to Rhea...

I couldn't make her deal with my broken heart, and I sure as hell wasn't going to break hers.

I sighed, heading back to my room. I took out my earrings and grabbed my phone. I typed out a text I would never send:

I love you.

A choked sob escaped my throat and tears burned in my eyes. The words, all of them, bounced around my head.

I love you... Quoth the Raven, Nevermore... I love you... Raven... Nevermore... I love you Nevermore... Love Raven Nevermore...

I laid in bed, tears streaming down my face. Sleep would not come. Maybe it was a good thing.

No sleep = No dreams = No new words

Right?

Still, I couldn't sleep. I turned on my lamp and grabbed my Poe story collection. I flipped to "The Tell-Tale Heart" and started reading. It was one of my favorites, but tonight it was creeping me out more than usual. I checked my clock. It was already 3:30 in the morning, so I only had two and a half hours left until I had to get up.

My eyes flew over the pages and I quickly finished the story.

"Here, here! - it is the beating of his hideus heart!"

Images suddenly started flashing through my mind.

Bones. Flesh. Floorboards.

A migraine seared through my brain and I groaned in pain, holding my pounding head in my hands.
I could hear a heartbeat steadily throbbing, and it wasn't mine. My own blood was burning through my veins at a mile a minute. This other heartbeat was slow, like the heartbeat of someone sleeping.

Then it stopped. All I could hear was my own blood. My own heartbeat. My own words.

Excrutiating pain shot across my shoulder. I screamed through my teeth and bit my fist, tears streaming down my face. I yanked my shirt off over my head and stumbled over to the mirror.

Every nerve in my shoulder was on fire. I looked at it in the mirror, tears still rolling down my cheeks. Forming on my shoulder, almost like they were being carved into my pale skin with a dull knife, were red words.

I couldn't help it. I started sobbing. I watched as the quote finished itself and started to solidify.

Within five minutes, the words had turned black.

"The beating of his hideous heart..."

Another quote. More mysteries.

The pain in my shoulder had dulled to a throbbing ache. I pulled my shirt back on and crawled into bed. My arm bumped against my Poe book and I picked it up, throwing it angrily against the wall.

I fell back on my bed and lay there for a moment before finally falling asleep.

It felt like only five minutes later when I woke up to my alarm.

I groaned, probably for the 50th time in 24 hours, and sat up in bed. I slouched over to my closet and grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a black lacy shirt. I put my clothes on, then remembered my words. I grabbed a plain, red, silky shirt and changed into that, dropping the other shirt on the floor with the intention to pick it up later.

I chose up a few pairs of black earrings and slid them into my piercings. I sat on my bed and grabbed my tall, black, "screw the world" boots. My heels clicked on the hardwood floor as I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Cici was prancing out of the bathroom just as I was slouching in.

I brushed my teeth quickly and straightened my short black hair.

Like a robot programmed to perform simple tasks without emotion, I finished the rest of my morning routine. Beep. Makeup. Beep. Breakfast. Beep. Make Cici's lunch.

Fifteen minutes later, I got on the bus. I made my way to my seat at the back of the bus and put in my earbuds, letting myself drown in my music.

Drumbeats are the heartbeat of music. I couldn't help myself... I still listened to his music. His
favorite band was blaring in my brain.

His heart, as much as I despised this fact, was still tied to mine. His hideous heart.

"The beating of his hideous heart..."