All That Matters

In all my life, I had never put much stock into Valentine’s Day. As far as I was concerned, it was a throw away holiday all about chocolate, flowers, and cards. It wasn’t that I minded any of those things. But I wasn’t a fan of the fact that people seemed to forget it was important to tell the people they loved that they loved them on a daily basis, not just when Hallmark saw fit to remind them to.

But that was the cynic in me.

The overly-hormonal and sappy romantic in me spent Canada’s second game, played against Austria, near tears from the loneliness that was deep in my chest.

I hadn’t seen him in a few days and I’d woken to flowers and a box of chocolates that Sidney had made sure would be at my father’s house on Valentine’s morning. I wanted to talk to him as soon as I got the flowers, but knew that he was already at the rink getting ready for the game in Russia by the time I was out of bed in Minnesota.

I was missing him more than I had expected to, and watching him play didn’t help in the slightest. Seeing him move up and down the ice and watching as the camera lingered on him on the bench, just made it worse. It made me miss him more.

We’d survived plenty of time apart. All of the road trips and the time when I’d still been living in Boston. But we’d never been so far apart. Sochi was well over five thousand miles away and that was a distance that I couldn’t ignore.

He was half a world away from me.

I felt my father’s eyes lingering on me as I tried to focus on the TV screen. I’d already demolished half a box of chocolates and it was sitting next to me on the sofa, open and ready for me to dig back in and hope I didn’t grab one filled with coconut.

“You alright, Pooh Bear?”

I nodded slowly.

“Are you lying to me?”

He looked worried, but he was right; I wasn’t being honest. I wasn’t really okay. I was miserable. I was sad and lonely and feeling the effects of Sidney being half a world away. I was also feeling the effects of the chocolate so early in the day.

“I keep telling myself that this isn’t about me, that he asked me to stay home because he doesn’t want to risk anything with the baby, and I get that, but it’s not like I’ve had any complications. I’m healthy and so is the baby and the doctor isn’t worried about me traveling at all. To Russia or otherwise, they would be fine with me travelling. But Sidney gets these ideas in his head and then he worries and I don’t want him to be worried about anything. He needs to focus on the games and his job over there. There’s so much pressure on him especially after everything that happened in Vancouver and I want him to have his concentration. I don’t want to mess with that.”

He was staring at me, waiting for me to finish a thought but I was rambling.

“I just miss him,” I admitted.

Things were so much better between us than they had been the last time I was in Minnesota and I hated that the time was being wasted in its own way.

“And you just want to be over there. You want to be watching games in Russia with his folks and Mario, not here on the TV that the two of you insisted on buying me.”

“Pretty much.”

“Then go.”

“I told him I would stay here. We’ve had enough issues and the last thing I need to do is going against what he asked me to do.”

“Since when are you so…”

“What?” I demanded.

“Your mom and I raised you to stand on your own two feet. Sid’s opinions are important, I’m not going to tell you they aren’t, but you are still perfectly capable of making your own decisions. You’re smart and resourceful and frankly, if he knew how hard you were taking this, he’d want you on the next flight to Russia.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I did think about it. It was almost all I thought about for a few days before I decided I was tired of sitting in Minnesota while he played his heart out somewhere across the globe. I talked to Taylor about it. She would have been there the whole time if she hadn’t had games of her own to play. She’d already informed her coaches and parents that if they made it through the preliminary rounds, she would be present for the gold medal game and no one would stop her.

Her parents hadn’t argued. They’d reserved connected rooms in Sochi well over a year in advance. She would be there in the room next to theirs. Her team was on their way to state, but she was more interested in seeing her brother play for another medal.

I thought she was crazy and so did Sidney. But she insisted that she would miss only a few days of the tournament and only one game, if that. There was no arguing with her and I found myself wondering why I’d been so quick to just agree to stay behind. She was only seventeen and she’d asserted herself better than I ever had.

“How would you feel about having some company on your flight?” I asked as we sat in a café in Faribault one afternoon.

My father and I had driven in together for her game that morning, their last before the tournament began a few days later. He’d slipped off somewhere on foot, his truck still parked outside, just to give us a little time to talk.

“Really?”

I shrugged. “Thought maybe you could use a roommate.”

She stood and skirted around the table to wrap me in a hug.

“I can’t wait to tell him!”

“Here’s the thing, no telling him. I’ll let your parents know I’m coming with you, but I’m not going to let it be a distraction for your brother.”

“Then—“

“He’ll know that I’m there when it’s over, win or lose. But until then, I’m still in Minnesota. Deal?”

“Deal.”

It was a relief. I felt lighter after making the decision. I decided to call in reinforcements to make my way to Sochi and while I wasn’t one for calling in favors, I knew that it was what I needed to do to make things go as smoothly as possible. Especially at the last minute.

“You want to come to Sochi?” Mario asked. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“For the medal round. I’m losing my mind here, Mario.”

He chuckled.

“What?”

“I’m surprised you lasted this long. Nathalie was betting on you calling but she thought it would be sooner than this. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was actually on her side about that.”

“I didn’t want Sid to worry and end up distracted, then I realized what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. By the time he knows I’m in Sochi, it will be over and he won’t be able to get pissed off about it.”

“If you can get you and Taylor to Pittsburgh, I can get you a flight out here.”

“Done.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of days, Bronwyn.”

“I owe you one, Mario.”

“You don’t owe me a thing. Consider it a gift.”

“For?”

“Making Sidney the best version of him that I have ever known.”

He didn’t give me an opening to respond to the compliment.

“Just get Taylor and yourself to Pittsburgh, pack warm, and I’ll see you when you get here.”

“And this will be our little secret?”

“Like you said, what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”

I followed up my call to Mario with one to my mother-in-law. She was equally willing to keep my trip a secret.

“I’ll just have Shattuck release Taylor to you instead of your dad.”

“What?”

“Chuck was going to pick her up and get her to the airport for us since we’re both already here.”

I smiled. “Guess that will be my job now.”

“I’m glad you’re coming. He misses you like crazy but he won’t admit it. We’ve seen him a couple of times and I can tell. We went to visit for a while yesterday then left the village for lunch and when he took out his wallet to pay, I saw that he had the sonogram picture tucked in there.”

“I didn’t even notice he took it.”

“He did.”

“Well, it’s not like he would have seen me much anyway. So I’m not sure how much that would help keep him from missing me. And I don’t want him to know that I’m there until it’s over. I know it’s silly, but I don’t want it to distract him.”

“Maybe, but he’s more himself when you’re around and even if he doesn’t know you’re there, I think it will help. I’m not sure how, but sometimes I swear he can sense you.”

“And you’re okay with me bringing Tay?”

“She’s coming anyway. I’d rather she be with you than come all this way alone. It’s a long flight with a few layovers and a lot of time. I’ll feel better knowing she’s in good hands. Plus, we’ve got the extra room and we’ll all be glad to see you.”

“Just don’t tell Sidney.”

“I won’t even tell Troy. I’m sure Mario won’t either. Just get my daughters and my grandbaby here.”

“Thank you.”

“No, Bronwyn. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Going against my son and his silly concerns. You deserve to be here to see whatever happens. If you weren’t here to celebrate it with him or comfort him if it doesn’t go their way, it wouldn’t be the same for him.”

I flashed back to the night they lost in the playoffs, the night he’d asked me to marry him. I couldn’t imagine what he would have done if I hadn’t been in that room waiting for him. I wasn’t sure how he would have mourned the loss, how low he would have gotten over it. I was almost certain it would have involved both sulking and whiskey. But that night hadn’t really included much of either.

“I hope we’re celebrating. And I hope it will be good for him to see me there.”

“I know it will be. He’s stubborn and thinks he knows best, but he’s equally capable of being wrong as the rest of us are. Sometimes you have to force him to see things in a different light.”

I picked Taylor up from school in my rental the next day and we made it to the airport just in time for our flight to Pittsburgh.

“This house is so big and quiet,” Taylor commented as she sat in the center of the closet.

I was working at the biggest task of all, packing enough layers to keep warm. I slipped a Crosby sweater between a pair of jeans and the heaviest sweatshirt I owned. I wanted to blend into whichever game I ended up attending.

Pat knew I was coming, the only other call I’d placed to someone in Russia. He’d said he could get two tickets to whichever games we needed. He too seemed pleased with the plan to go against Sid’s wishes.

“It’s not this quiet when Sidney’s around.”

Usually it wasn’t so quiet when I was alone, but I didn’t have any music playing or the TV on in the background. It was just a quiet house in that moment. I’d left Sammy with the boarders since we wouldn’t be home long. I didn’t want to give the poor thing false hope before sending her right back to where she’d been. We were merely pausing in our trip. We’d be leaving late that night, flying overnight, and landing well into the next day. We wouldn’t even be sleeping in the house.

“I always wondered why he felt the need to go so big with this house.”

“Your brother hates change. He wanted a house that he could grow into not one that he would grow out of. If we go by his plan, this will be the only house we ever have to own here. We’ll outgrow the lake house and need something bigger for our summers at some point, but this is a house where we can have a big family and not have to upgrade.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Your big brother thinks of everything that way. He acts like he doesn’t concern himself about the future, but that is how he makes his decisions. It’s always about what will work in the long run not a week or even a year from now.”

She nodded and nudged my suitcase with a toe. “You know, I’ve never seen you wear a Crosby sweater.”

“I never wear them at games.”

“So why now?”

“Because I want to stand out as little as possible. I don’t want to risk Sid knowing I’m there. The media will be on the lookout for the woman they see at Pens games. They’re so used to seeing me in black or gold dresses with my hair down and curly. They won’t even spot me in a sea of other jerseys.”

“Look at you, trying to blend in.”

“I’ve got a few extra pounds to hide as well.”

She chuckled. “I know you super well and I barely noticed the belly when I saw you the other day. You’re hardly showing at all.”

“I’m showing more than I was when your brother last saw me.”

“Really?”

“Happens fast.”

I ran a hand down the slight swell of my abdomen. It was an urge I resisted in public. I’d taken to shoving my hands into my pockets like my husband just to keep from touching my stomach on impulse.

“Are you guys going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Initially, it had been a point of contention between me and Sidney. I wanted to be surprised at first but Sid wanted to be prepared. He’d wrinkled his nose at all of the gender-neutral colors and name ideas. For a while we hadn’t even talked about it.

“I have an appointment the day after he gets home. We’ll find out then.”

“What are you hoping for?”

“A healthy baby with all ten fingers, ten toes, and all of its organs functioning properly.”

“Bullshit. That’s the politically correct ‘of course I have no preference’ answer. Everyone has at least a little bit of a preference, they just don’t want to be the terrible person that admits as much.”

“And you know this how?”

“I have a brain.”

“Fine. If you must know, I’m actually hoping for a boy. But you can’t mention that around your brother because then he’ll know that I’ve been plotting and brainstorming for the nursery.”

“So?”

“We promised each other we wouldn’t do that until we knew and were working together on it.”

“So why not wait?”

“Because I have ideas. I can’t help that I have ideas.”

“I won’t tell him,” she replied. “But for what it’s worth, I’d like a niece.”

“I’m terrified by the idea of a little girl.”

“Boys can pee on you when you’re changing their diapers.”

“And girls are easy to screw up if you’re not good with the motherly guidance and I don’t know how well I’ll do with that.”

“You’re pretty good with the sisterly kind of guidance. Really, it can’t be that different.”

“I don’t know about that, kiddo.”

“Seriously, you’re the one that has kept me from going crazy over the whole college thing. I would have lost my mind months ago if I didn’t know you were a phone call away with advice or just to listen to me complain or freak out.”

I sighed and added another pair of jeans to my luggage before beginning to double-check the contents to make sure they would get me through a few days of international travel.

“You and Sid will be great parents,” she leaned back, lying down on the floor as if she was preparing to make a snow angel in the carpet. “Won’t matter if it’s a boy or girl or one of each.”

“Don’t even say that. Just one baby. Especially the first time around.”

“Just saying. You’ll be great.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tay.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Excited to see Russia?”

“A little. Excited to see Sid?”

“Of course, but I won’t see him at least for a couple of days.”

“But you’ll be in the same city.”

“I think it will help.”

I knew that it would. Seeing games in person and feeling the energy of the crowd that he fed off of every night, that would help immensely.

“I’m particularly excited about the flight,” she mused.

Mario was flying us by private plane. It was a long flight and he knew that Sid would frown upon the idea of his wife and unborn child spending twenty hours on several different planes and in several different airports. It was one of the first times that I didn’t mind the idea of not flying commercial.

We’d have a few fuel stops but there wouldn’t be lengthy layovers and I wouldn’t have to deal with many hassles. I hadn’t even argued about it. I was starting to pee more often and access to a private lavatory without having to climb over the legs of a stranger was an absolute plus in my book.

We’d be able to sleep overnight on the flight and we’d wake up on a new continent.

It would all be a welcome luxury.

Unwelcome, I discovered, was the airsickness. I hadn’t been banking on it. Taylor didn’t enjoy it any more than I did. And I wound up spending the first day in Sochi recovering. Troy didn’t even know I was there until that night when they got back from a family dinner.

The team had practiced, but their next game would be the semi-final the following day. Sidney had been more than willing to take his sister and parents to dinner. I’d been more than happy to sleep off the nausea.

“How are you feeling?” Troy asked as he took a seat gingerly at the foot of the bed Taylor and I would be sharing.

He rested a hand on my ankle and I turned slightly in order to face him.

“Better. Haven’t flown over the ocean in a long while and the baby didn’t like it.”

“But you’re…” he drew the words out. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Troy.”

“And the uh…”

“The baby is fine. It was just airsickness. Wore me out a bit and the time change is a bitch. But it’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“I’m glad you decided to come.”

He sent me a soft smile. They were hard to come by with a man like Troy and I tended to be surprised when he sent one my way.

“Your son is the one who didn’t want me to be here.”

“I know. But he realized a few days ago that that was the wrong choice.”

“He learns the hard way.”

“I’m afraid he learned that from me.”

“I can’t say I find that surprising.”

I pushed myself up into a seated position and his hand thumped to the surface of the bed. He looked pensive, like he was considering something before he opened his mouth.

“I know we haven’t seen much of each other since Christmas, and I want you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I thought you two wouldn’t make good parents.”

“Water under the bridge, Troy.”

“I know. But—“

“Listen. I know you reacted the way you did for your own reasons. I just hope that you’re looking forward to this. I want to know that you’re actually happy about being a grandfather or at least that you will be as some point in the next five months or so.”

“I am. I don’t want you to think that I’m not.”

“I’m glad.”

“I’m just not very good at showing how I feel. But I love having you in the family,” he paused, “I love you and the things you’ve done to make my son better than I ever knew he could be. On every level. And I won’t ever let my grandchild feel like I don’t love or support them. I can be a little tough on my kids…and you. I don’t want to be that grandpa. I really don’t.”

“It’s all that I ask. I only had two grandparents in my life, Troy. My mom’s folks only showed up to pawn her belongings off on me and they didn’t have the decency to do that until I little over a year ago. I wish this baby could have all four grandparents to rely on for unconditional love but my mom is gone. I need you and Trina and my dad to pick up the slack. The people this baby has needs to make up for the ones that aren’t here.

“And I don’t want you to have the kind of regrets I’m sure my mother’s father does.”

“That isn’t even a risk. I promise you that.”

“That makes me very happy, Grandpa Troy.”

His smile returned, broadening, “I’m learning to like the sound of that.”

“Good, because from here on out, that’s who you are.”

He stood up and quickly leaned down to wrap his arms around me.

It was the second time in my relationship with his son that Troy had ever been demonstrative with me. The only other time had been in the previous spring at his mother’s funeral back in Halifax. I knew that Linda would be pleased if she was watching the way her son was beginning to embrace Sidney’s future by quite literally embracing me.

He stepped back. “Sidney will be really happy to see you. But don’t worry, Taylor and Trina made it clear that it’s a secret.”

“I hope he doesn’t see me until the very end of the games.”

Troy slipped out of the room, quickly trading places with his daughter. She crawled into the queen bed next to me.

“You were all he talked about at dinner.”

“Your dad?”

“Yes, he’s developed a sudden obsession with you. No, genius. Your husband.”

“How was he?”

“Hyped. Excited. But missing you. He kept saying that he wished he hadn’t told you to stay home. I lied and said you were enjoying being back in Minnesota with your dad.”

“What did he say?”

She cleared her throat and tried to mimic the low gravel of her brother’s voice. “’I should have told her to chaperone you here or something.’”

“No shit?”

“I had to excuse myself to the salad bar.”

“Well, at least we know he’ll be happy and surprised to see me.”

“He’ll spaz out. Which is awesome because it will give me license to laugh at him, possibly in public, and I don’t get many chances to laugh openly at my big brother.

“So few do.”

I spent the next day at the U.S. game, just trying to fill my time. Little did I know, the ticket was the spare that Jack Johnson had reserved and Pat had found for me. I had no idea. Jack’s family were practically on the other side of the arena, I’d seen them and kept my head down in case they recognized me.

I only realized when I came face to face with the woman next to me. Then the pieces started to fall into place.

Nicole blushed, putting her head down as soon as she spotted me. The arena was just starting to fill up and we were high in the stands, far from the ice.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“About?”

“Well, the fact that you’re in Sochi. That clearly, you and Jack have something going on. Take your pick.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Sid have something going on?” she asked as she pushed a finger gently into the flesh of my stomach, hidden beneath a blue sweater that I’d packed.

“Sort of a secret. Only people we see know. I should have texted you but things have been kind of insane.”

“I guess my thing is a secret too. He called around New Years and said he wanted to make something work. He said he liked me and wanted to see me.”

“Are you into him?”

“Well, I dropped everything and came to Russia to watch him play from the shittiest seats in the house.”

It was all the answer I needed.

“So, a baby?”

I smiled. There wasn’t anyone near us yet. We were basically alone for the moment. I had no qualms about sharing, feeling guilty for leaving her in the dark. But then again, she was apparently dating my husband’s best friend and I knew nothing of it. I could only assume that they were keeping Sidney in the dark as well.

“Just about twenty weeks.”

“That’s like, halfway?”

“Yeah.”

“Boy or girl?”

“We’ll find out when we get home.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“You hate kids.”

“I’m currently reconsidering my stance on some things that I thought I hated.”

“Speaking of things you hate, I need this to be a secret.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone you’re knocked up.”

“Not that. That was assumed. Sidney doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Just wants you to cheer for Canada?”

I chuckled. “No. He doesn’t even know I’m in Russia. He thinks I’m back in Minnesota with my dad. He didn’t want me to risk the travel so it’s kind of a surprise.”

“I won’t tell Jack.”

“What about this? Can I tell Sid about you and Jack or is this just between us?”

“Tell him. Jack has been wanting to tell people, I just wasn’t sure. It’s long-distance and it’s new.”

“Trust me, that’s something I understand.”

She wrapped me in a hug. We chatted for a while but as the arena filled and the game began we fell silent. The only sounds we shared were celebrations of goals scored by the U.S. team. They wound up winning the game and moving forward and Nicole and I went in opposite directions when we left the arena.

Nicole was off to celebrate and I went back to the hotel. It wasn’t long before Sidney called to check in. They’d played earlier in the day, the first semi-final game of the day.

“How’s Minnesota?” he asked as I lounged in bed.

“Cold and snowy. How’s Russia?”

“Also cold and snowy. I think I’m used to the time difference. Getting readjusted at home is going to suck.”

“You’ll have a couple of days to adjust.”

“And you’ll help?”

“I’ll do what I can.”

He asked what I’d spent the day doing. I hadn’t lied, mentioning a nap and watching the day’s games. I didn’t mention that I’d watched the Canada game on mute on Russian television. I certainly didn’t mention that I’d watched the U.S. game from the stands.

“I talked to Nicole this afternoon.”

“Really? You guys haven’t talked much since the wedding, have you?”

“Not much. We’ve just both been so busy. Did you know she’s there?”

“In Sochi?”

“Apparently Jack called her recently and they’ve been trying to make something work.”

“I told him to call her.”

“Months ago.”

“Well, better late than never.”

“I guess so. She’s there watching him play. And I countered her secret boyfriend with our secret baby.”

“I think you won that one.”

“So do I.”

“How’s your dad?” I could hear that he was tired, but there was clearly a smile on his face.

“Good. Told me to tell you to keep your head up.”

He’d taken a heavy hit in one of their early games. He’d put himself in a vulnerable spot and he knew it.

“Very funny, Chuck.”

“He thinks he is. But I seem to know a lot of men like that.”

“Thing is, I am funny.”

“You can be,” I admitted. “But I’m funnier.”

He laughed, not arguing.

“So, Taylor said you’re showing more now.”

He sounded wistful. He was rooming with Patrice Bergeron and I could only assume that Bergy was out of the room, giving him a chance to speak to me in private.

“A little bit. Not too noticeable, but we won’t be able to hide it forever. Maybe not much longer.”

“I don’t think we need to hide it.”

“One big announcement is plenty for now. We’ll give it time.”

He yawned. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

He didn’t go so far as to admit that he wanted me there, unwilling to admit he was wrong. But it was clear that he was regretting the fact that I was, as far as he knew, back in the U.S.

“Will you be there when I get home?”

“I should get home about the same time you do, actually.”

It was the truth given the fact that I’d be flying home with him.

“Can’t wait.”

“You’re gonna have to. You’ve got a gold medal to win.”

“Shouldn’t you be cheering for the red white and blue?”

“I was earlier. But they, unlike someone I know, didn’t make it to the final.”

They’d be playing in the bronze medal game. But the gold would either go home with Canada or Russia. It seemed a fitting pair. The best in the world facing off in game played on Russian soil.

He laughed softly. He was nervous for the final. There was so much weight on his shoulders. He had to lead the team and there were such high expectations of what they would do. He didn’t want to let anyone down and he didn’t want to lose. He wanted the gold as much as I wanted to see him with the medal draped around his neck.

But we wouldn’t find out until the next day.

“I love you.”

“Sleep tight, honey.”

I sighed as we hung up.

“Did he buy it?” Taylor piped up from her place next to me in bed.

“I think I sold it well.”

“Just know that if you attempt to spoon me tonight because you’re lonely, I demand payment in full.” She was grinning. “Payable in cash or by personal check. I will also accept concert tickets or a car.”

“Go to sleep, Taylor.”

She laughed brightly. “I’m too excited to sleep!”

“We aren’t going to Disneyworld.”

“No, but this is better.”

“It is, isn’t it?”

“It’s awesome. You’re keeping secrets that aren’t going to piss my brother off, they are going to take home a gold medal, you’re going to try to spoon with me and I’m going to get a car.”

“That third one isn’t happening.”

“It could happen.”

“It won’t.”

It didn’t happen. But by the next afternoon, as the game against Russia went back and forth, it was all forgotten. There was no overtime. There was no tie. Canada dominated from the first drop of the puck. Russia couldn’t seem to get their legs and the frustration was clear from the beginning.

The arena didn’t erupt with cheers the way it had for years earlier when Sidney scored his overtime marker. It was different, the energy of the arena so full of Russian fans dropped and the cheers were merely a dull roar. But as the buzzer sounded, I couldn’t have been happier for them.

It didn’t matter that Sidney hadn’t scored that winning goal and I doubted that it would matter to the people back in Canada. They’d won, they’d defended that gold and Sidney had been a part of it. He’d led well and played like he wasn’t in the middle of a wild NHL season.

After sixty minutes of hockey, Canada was victorious and that was what mattered. To all of them.

Troy found Taylor and myself where we were watching several rows away from Sidney’s parents. He was beaming, smiling from ear to ear. He was pleased and relieved and proud all at once and I was almost certain that my expression matched that of my father-in-law. It wouldn’t take much for Troy’s emotions to spill over and I was at that point as well.

He and Trina stood with us, our seats closer to the ice, as the medals were awarded. Sidney was grinning as the medal was draped around his neck. The Canadian fans in the arena roared as the gold medals were passed down the line. Some Russian fans filtered out after the team was awarded their silvers.

I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes and I dried them with a sleeve of Sidney’s old sweater. My heart leapt in my chest when his name was announced and I suddenly wanted him to know that I was there, to know how proud of was of him, how incredible I thought he was.

Troy didn’t say a word as he ushered us to the dressing room which was filled with media and family there to celebrate the win in a way they hadn’t yet had the opportunity. It had been a process of getting to that point. Their previous wins just stepping stones, not to be celebrated but appreciated.

The media was surrounding Sidney, they’d converged the minute he hit his stall and he was so happy he didn’t care. He was perfectly happy answering their questions.

I watched from a distance, my frame hidden somewhere between his father and sister. A glance in their direction didn’t reveal my presence. But then, I saw my opportunity to make him aware that I was there.

A Canadian journalist asked how it felt to win the game with his wife and family looking on.

He measured his response.

“It feels great. My folks and my sister are here. My wife,” he glanced up and I stood on my tiptoes and smiled at him. His smiled widened. “She’s here too and I’m excited to celebrate with my loved ones, just like every guy in this room. This is a win you want to share, for sure.”

They continued asking questions. I caught him glancing towards me every few minutes, staying in his stall until the media dispersed. Some approached other players still in their gear. Others left the room, clearly they’d gotten the soundbites that they wanted from Sidney and saw no point in sticking around and crowding the room.

He crossed the room quickly, his broad steps spanning the width of the room faster than I expected. He may as well have been on the ice with the way he raced towards me. Taylor stepped to the right and left me out in the open.

He wrapped his arms around me, nearly lifting me off the ground. I could smell the game all over his skin but it didn’t bother me. I was numb to every sense aside from the feeling of his body against mine.

“I told you to stay home,” he murmured into my ear.

“I didn’t listen. I couldn’t not be here for this.”

He pulled away, the light blazing behind the hazel of his eyes.

“Thank God.”

A smile broke across my face and before I could pull out of his grasp, his lips were against mine.

We were in full view of the team and the few media that were still in the room. But no flashes flared around us. No catcalls broke out. His teammates looked away and the media, who would later write about it, didn’t seem to want to stare. For just a second we were alone in a very crowded room.

“You were amazing,” I said as his lips left mine.

He shook his head. “I did my job. Now you, you’re amazing.”