Just Kiss Me Slowly

“I-I think….I think it’s over, lads.” Harry spoke nervously. Suddenly this wasn’t just in his head anymore. This conversation wasn’t a topic that had been plaguing his mind since they left New York City, playing at Madison Square Garden for the twelfth time in their ten-year long career. Harry knew that in his heart that this was it. It was almost unspoken amongst the entire band. No one wanted to be the first person to admit it out loud. Something just felt different the entire tour. The end for One Direction was here, but none of the members were going to admit it.

Liam was the first to look up at him directly. He gave Harry a curt nod before sighing heavily. Liam Payne didn’t want to admit anymore than the rest of them. If possible, Liam was the one who didn’t want it to end the most. He just wanted the band to be together. He wanted the lads to spend every day together just as they did back in the early years. Granted, those years had not been easy, but it was worth it. They were young, and having the time of their lives. The world was their oyster and all that jazz. These boys, well men, had tried to hold onto something that wasn’t really there anymore.

Niall was the next to agree. He looked around at all of them before confirming with a small ‘Harry’s right’ before looking back down at his tight jeans and over-sized trainers. The now complete brunette had grown more than the other boys. Niall had come a long way from that small, bleached blonde haired boy from Ireland to a man who could hold his own vocals, and had the sexual appeal to many. When the band first came out, Niall needed to be comforted the most, and he had quickly turned into the one who did the comforting.

The now twenty-seven year old, Bradford born lad stole a quick glance over at Liam, then Louis and Niall before looking back at Harry. Something different was playing in is amber irises. Some kind of secret, or inside joke, that was just between Zayn and the curly-haired lad. The two friends were different from the others. They were close, not as close and Louis and Zayn, but they had always went to each other when things were particularly tough. This man that Zayn stared at was different. He wasn’t the same Harry that he knew before. He was smarter, and more experienced.

Harry last made eye-contact with Louis. Louis looked different than all of the boys. To Harry, Louis looked utterly outraged at Harry for even suggesting such a thing. He couldn’t meet Harry’s eyes, but he could see the pain in those blue eyes. He was hurt; Harry knew that. Something about the way that he was reacting reminded him of the old Louis. The old Louis was the one that showed emotion, the one that let it be known when he was hurt. The now Louis isn’t quite the same. He hid away everything that had ever hurt him, and Harry supposes that it was partly his fault. He had helped Louis tuck away all of his feelings, and never looked back. It was different seeing this Louis.

“What in the hell do you mean?” Louis spoke first, stormy eyes meeting calming green. “What do you mean that it’s over?”

Harry sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“We all knew that this one was our last,” Liam sighed heavily, looking over at them. “We’ve run our course,”

“What?” Louis spoke. “Are you all serious?”

Niall nodded, opting to look back at Zayn instead.

“Yeah, Lou.” Zayn nodded. “It’s done,”

Louis sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment.

“Then I suggest we go out with a big bang, then,” He spoke slowly. “Might as well, right,”

Harry sighed, slightly relieved. The old Louis had faded into the back ground, and the new one had taken his place again. He learned a long time ago that Louis knew how to put these feelings, thoughts, into a neatly packed box. He tucked the box away, and rarely let it back out except for the occasional drunken tangent. He was careful not to show all of his cracks. He wanted to be strong, and that’s what he was.

The beginning of the end started five years prior, Harry thinks. It was around that time that Liam was dating people again, Zayn had more tattoos than skin, Niall had his first big break up, and Louis broke Harry’s heart. Things were getting serious for One Direction. Liam and Danielle had been on and off before finally calling it quits when Liam was twenty. It took almost two years before he started dating. Liam was allowing himself to really move on, but no one ever really stuck to the man. Zayn was suddenly getting more tattoos than before. His arms were covered in ink, all with a different and special meaning to him. It was the start of all of the secrets that Harry was starting to learn. Niall’s first big break up hit the band hard. He had waited years for her, but when Demi finally gave him a chance, things were good. The pair was together for nearly three years. They were happy until suddenly they weren’t, and it had to end. Niall and Demi didn’t move on very well. It killed him to lose the girl that he had always dreamed about. Niall was hurting, and so was the rest of the group. Nothing compared to what Louis did to Harry.

To the eyes of some pretty blind fans, Harry and Louis were best friends. That was far from the truth. To be frank, Harry was too far gone for Louis. Louis was a twenty-four year old with the weight on his shoulders. His failed relationship with Eleanor wasn’t very uplifting. Louis had lost Eleanor both due to a busy schedule and a green-eyed, lanky male with too many tattoos to count. Louis and Eleanor had been over for four years by this point, and Harry swooped right in. Harry stole his heart before he could say no. All of the sudden he wasn’t concerned with what fans thought, but of what Harry thought. They were together for years, on and off. It started when Louis was twenty, Harry still eighteen, and the world at their fingertips. When the management realized that the friendship was no longer platonic, everything for them changed. They were being pulled apart at the seams. It took a total of five months to pull apart a five-year relationship. All it took was a single insecurity to lose something that should’ve been since the beginning. It took just a few days for Louis to break Harry’s heart.

It happened in Paris, the year prior to the one now. The topic of conversation had been the same for days; when were they going to be allowed to be together. Harry wanted to proclaim from the rooftops that Louis was his and only his. Louis wanted to stay in hiding. To put it simply, Louis didn’t care about what Harry wanted. He was out to save his own arse. They both were turning into people that were nothing like themselves. They were cleverly established robots under the control of a madman. It was torture, and the team did a shit job at covering things up as it was. Harry wanted just one night with the person who had always held his heart in his hands. He planned everything out. He made Louis’ favorite dish, got the hotel to give them the honeymoon sweet so it was covered in rose petals already, and the boys took Louis out for a few hours while Harry planned. Once Louis was over the initial shock of the place, he pressed his lips tightly to Harry’s. He was overwhelmed with love. They kissed way too much, and ate until they wanted to throw up. They made love for most of the night, leaving Harry more sore than ever. And when the sun rose, peaking over the view of the Eiffel Tower, Harry nuzzled Louis’ neck, planting a kiss there before whispering Marry me, Lou. Louis clenched up, choosing not to answer, but when Harry asked again, Louis finally let out a breathy no. As careful, but fast, as he could, Louis extracted himself from Harry’s arms and walked back into the room to pack up his belongings. Louis left the twenty-one year old in Paris, on a balcony on the fourteenth floor and a heart that was shattered.

The past five years was like an awkward countdown. It was the beginning of where they had ended up now. Louis drank more, Zayn tucked his carefully kept secrets away, Liam tried to move on, and Harry accepted everything that was happening to them. They were technically over with their contract. They planned on renewing in November, but it had just ended the previous week. The boys were allowed to walk away between now and then. Harry decided that it was now or never, and luckily they had agreed with him. One Direction wasn’t meant to last forever, and they were climbing in age. It was time, they thought, that the chapter in their books was to close. It was over, probably not for good, but for now.

♥

“Thank you lot so much! We’re Compromising Me, and this is Kiss Me Slowly,” Harry spoke in front of the standing-room only crowd. This was his new life, and he loved it. He never thought that he would be back in a rock band again, but his life leaned heavily that way. The rest of the lads in the band originated from Los Angles, and we’re mutual friends with Harry over the years. They eventually got together and formed a band shortly after One Direction split up.

Two years is a long time without your best mates, Harry reasons. LA was good for Harry. He was able to be himself, make the music that he wanted, and tour with still-dedicated fans. Some fans left him after the genre switch, but he gained a whole-new audience. They were great, they had a record deal and everything. This label was better than Simon’s. He was able to come out. Most of the Harry fans knew, but some were devastated, and he lost those too. His band was his new family, but nothing could replace the originals, and that was hard.

He wrote a lot of songs about Louis. He didn’t tell the band about Louis. They just assumed that someone had broken Harry’s heart. The heartbreak played off in songs and the band had received three Grammy’s within the two years of making music together. They were touring the country, and planning on “breaking” the UK and Europe soon. Harry was excited for the new leg of the tour. Before his band went on tour, they were getting together for something big; Niall Horan’s wedding. He hadn’t had time to be home in so long. His mum missed him, and Zayn kept telling him about all of the new music he’s getting to make. The only member of One Direction that Harry got to see all of the time was Niall. Niall was in LA a lot thanks to his now fiancé Demi. They made a great team. They wrote most of her past album together, and it was the biggest selling record she has made. Niall got to get more experience as a producer than he thought possible. Liam was killing it with his own London-based Record Label called Loki Records, after his husky, and he was a judge on the X Factor. While Liam’s camp was in LA, Harry had stopped by as his special guest and mentor.

Louis was an actor. Harry was unbelievably proud of him. He was landing jobs more than anyone else because of his tattoos, and sexy smolder. He played anyone from a guest start on How I Met Your Mother, to a prince on Once Upon A Time to movies with huge superstars like Sandra Bullock. He was sky rocketing to a superstar that was completely different than who he used to be. In Louis’ latest film that is in the works, he’s playing a punk rocker with a serious drug problem with Miley Hemsworth, she adopted her new name as her stage name as well, playing his female lead. Harry tweeted Louis congrats, and surprisingly got a simple ‘x’ back. It was a good feeling.

Compromising Me closed their last show in LA, and got back into the bus to drive to LAX. They were going to London, where Niall Horan was getting married. John, Alex, Chris, Riley, and Harry bored their private jet at the same time, and nearly crashed whenever they got in there. His new best mate, Riley, picked up his feet and plopped them into Harry’s lap. He rested against the window, letting his blond hair fan all over his face. Harry laughed, shaking his head. Chris and Alex started to argue over what they were going to watch on the flight, and John stuck nose into a book. The situation was creepily familiar, and it brought a warm feeling to his heart. He just naturally blended with these guys as much as he did with the One Direction boys. Harry’s one of those people though, he just blends.

“You nervous, H?” Riley asked, looking at him from his position in the chair.

“A bit,” Harry nodded. “It’s going to be weird.”

“I hear ya,” Riley nodded, but he honestly didn’t.

The rest of the band only knew what the media did involving One Direction’s break-up as a band. Harry didn’t want to talk about that part of his life anymore. He had lived it for what felt for way too long, and he needed to get out. He couldn’t talk about it, because it still hurts him. The guys were great about it. They didn’t say much to him over the past two years. They just went with it. They accepted the new Harry not Harry Styles, twenty-six-year old boy-band extraordinaire. Now he’s Harry the twenty-eight year old lead singer. It had been that way from the very beginning, and he wasn’t planning on changing that. Not for anything; not for anyone.

The flight to London was entirely way too long. He was bored for the first three hours, and now Riley was up and trying to pass time. John had stopped reading, and now was listening quietly to some playlist he himself had made. It made him smile; his new band loved his weird music. He wasn’t the weird one with curly hair anymore. Well, Harry’s hair still had a definite wave to it, but the new band had the same passion for the music as he did. He wasn’t a pop star, and this wasn’t 2013 anymore.

The air around them was excited. Harry was beyond happy when the invitation to “The Wedding of The Century”, as Niall put it, had included his new band. In fact, Niall and Demi played a significant roll in setting them up over the years. It actually happened. The wedding of Niall James Horan and Demetria Devonne Lovato was to be one of the biggest bashes of the year. They had been through some rough patches, but Harry was happy that at least one member had gotten his shit together. Niall was proper happy. He was about to marry the woman of his dreams since he was…well since he was seventeen and a rising star. Demi didn’t even know who he was, and she was a veteran of the industry. The first couple of years were really rocky, but their love was pretty solid once it finally took form. They had the kind of love that always found their way back to each other, and that’s what happened after they broke up and found each other again. The two deemed it was meant to be.

Harry used to think that he and Louis were meant to be. He knew that in his heart, he could never quite love someone like he loved Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson isn’t someone that you can easily get over. Harry has been trying for the past seven years of his life, but nothing seems to be going his way. It’s not exactly what he had planned for his life. When Harry was seventeen and smitten with Louis, he thought that maybe he and Louis would end up together. Louis used to joke about it a lot, and Harry, well Harry liked to think he was being serious. When push came to shove, Louis ran. Louis ran away from Harry, leaving him heart-broken and confused. They never really talked about a proper break-up. It was just understood; Louis wasn’t his. It was a tough realization at twenty-one, but Harry learned to live with the ever-present Louis-sized whole in his chest.

His band didn’t know. They knew that something must have happened between the members during One Direction’s long run. Harry’s tattoos were kind of a dead giveaway to some form of life before them, and they wanted to know. However, they never pushed Harry to tell them. If Harry wanted to tell them, then he would. They kept that part wrapped up, and never opened it up. That’s why they worked. They understood each other musically, but also personally. They all shared a house practically while they were recording in cool places like Houston, Texas. It was different for all of them.

“Niall and Dems…” Alex shook his head playfully. “It’s kinda funny…those crazy kids are actually getting married.”

“Took them long enough,” John snorted. “I was beginning if Niall had it in him,”

“I knew he would,” Harry smiles. “He’s been in love with her for ages.”

Chris chuckled.

“Please tell me you put that in your best man speech?”

Harry only smirked in response. It came to a surprise to everyone, Harry thinks, that Niall chose him as his best man. He was expecting Niall to pick Liam for the job, but Niall shook his head. His explanation was that Harry was closest to both him and Demi. Harry’s apartment had been wide open when Niall was particularly restless while Demi was away on tour. Demi called Harry every time that she wanted to know how to surprise him early on in their relationship. Harry had been a bit of a child in-between a divorced couple when they fought. They didn’t fight often, but when they did, it was brutal. They always came out stronger though. That was the main thing. So, Harry graciously accepted when Niall and Demi both asked him to be their best men at their wedding.

It was a breath of fresh air when the bands private jet landed in London. There was just something about being home that made Harry feel at ease. His band-mates buzzed behind him, and didn’t stop the entire way through the airport. As Harry expected, paparazzi swarmed outside of the airport. He could see them through the glass doors behind Niall. Niall was waiting with a sign that read Curly and His Ridiculous Hipster Friends. Harry, Chris, John, Riley, and Alex rolled their eyes because of the funny term coined to them as they were young adults. It just stuck. They all hugged Niall tightly as they waited for their luggage. It was rather quick, and soon they were walking into a pap frenzy. Two-fifths of the boy band were within touching distance and in London again. It was like they’d been waiting their whole damn lives for this moment. It’s been two years.

“Holy shit,” John breathed out. “What the fuck was that?”

Niall laughed.

“That, mate, was what we once called a normal occurrence,”

“It was like nothing has changed,” Harry shook his head, weird smile on his lips. “I oddly missed it,”

It was Niall’s turn to roll his eyes.

“You’re mad,”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “Have the lads showed up?”

“All but you,” Niall smiled softly. “We’ve been waiting for you lot,”

“Great, we’re late,” Chris sighed. “There is nothing worse than being late,”

“I beg to differ,” Riley rolled his eyes. “We’re on time, right Niall?”

“Right on time,” Niall smiled. “Forget about it if any of them say anything to you. They mean well,”

“Right,” Harry nodded.

Niall gave Harry a pointed look before giving up with a sigh. He knew how Harry was, and he knew that this weekend wasn’t going to be easy. It was definitely going to be interesting.

§

“Thank God, you’re here!” Demi’s cheery voice rang throughout the big, manor that the Horan-Lovato wedding was taken place. It was a matter of seconds before the short girl, blonde again, was standing there. She wrapped her arms and stood on the tips of her toes to press a chaste kiss to Niall’s lips. She made a fuss of Niall’s hair before going to hug Harry and the rest of the band. “I was beginning to think that you guys got lost. I know I did. But I can be a dumbass, so…”

Niall rolled his eyes fondly.

“You’re not, sweetie,”

She smiled and patted his cheek.

“Thanks. Anyway, so I can show you guys to your rooms. We’re just running around, getting last minute wedding arrangements done. The rest of the guys are finishing up the tent. If you all could go down and help, that would be fabulous.”

“Aye, aye, Dems,” Riley solutes her.

She rolled her eyes before swatting her hands at them.

“Shush! Now go!”

Niall pressed a kiss to his bride-to-be before ushering along the males toward the back yard that stretched longer than Harry could physically see. But it’s what Harry could see that made his heart clench a tiny bit. Just meters away stood two of his best friends, and the love of his life that wasn’t technically his anymore. They were all putting up the tent. Well, more like Louis was holding a hammer, swinging it back and forth while Liam crouched down. Zayn wasn’t that far away, perched on top of a wooden table with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. Liam was the only one doing something, and it was achingly familiar. Louis ‘supervising’, Liam doing all of the work, and Zayn sucking on a cancer stick, but they were different. They all had grown. Zayn had grown out his hair, and both arms were covered in tattoos. Liam was slightly taller and kept his short quiff-esque hairstyle, and added to the collected of ink on his right arm. Louis stood there, in all of his skin-tight jean glory, with his hair swept up underneath a gray beanie and a loose hoodie.

“Oi! It’s my weddin and ya lazy arses couldn’t put up a fuckin’ tent?”

They all stopped and turned toward Niall’s voice, unaware of the five men trailing behind him.

“Harry,” Liam was the first one to say, and a very Liam smile formed on his face. He dropped the hammer, somewhere near Louis’ foot, before walking over. He enveloped Harry in a strong grip before pulling back with an easy smile. Zayn was the next to move. He put out his bad addiction before slowly approaching the group. They had a silent conversation before moving into one extremely tight hug.

“Missed you,” Zayn muttered into his neck before pulling away.

Louis rolled his eyes, slowly making his away over to the group, and avoided Harry’s gaze at all cost.

“It feels great, doesn’t it?” Niall’s chirpy voice came. “Us lads being back together after two years,”

Zayn nods.

“It’s been a bit weird, if I’m honest,” He spoke. “I’m Zayn,”

Riley perked up instantly. He loved when people noticed that they were standing there too.

“Riley, I’m a drummer.”

“Nice to meet you,” He returned.

“I guess I should introduce my wedding band, ya?” Niall laughed. “This is Chris the bass player, Riley the drummer, John the lead guitarist, and Alex the rhythm guitarist. Then there’s Harry.”

Louis rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Ni, we couldn’t see that,”

“Nice to see you too, Louis.”

Louis scratched the back of his neck.

“Whatever, mind helping us out?”

Harry rolled his eyes.

“No hug?”

“What?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in two bloody years and all I get is whatever?”

“Oh boy…” Liam rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Harold. That’s all you get,”

“My name is Harry,”

“Didn’t care before, I don’t care now,” Louis’ tone was challenging, but Harry wasn’t one to back down, especially if that was coming from Louis.

“Oh I forgot, you don’t care about anyone but yourself,”

Louis just shook his head, but Zayn cut him off before he could reply.

“And he’s happy that you’re here. Now can we please get this tent up. I just want to eat,”

Niall whipped his fake tears away.

“I’ve raised him well,”

“Fuck off, tosser. I’m older than you,” Zayn laughed, looping his arm around Niall’s shoulders. “Let’s get this thing set up, yeah?”

John shrugged, looking at the rest of the band while Harry and Louis had a silent staring contest before Louis awkwardly looked away. He coughed before turning around and picking up Liam’s hammer as he went. The five men turned toward Liam, who had stained pink cheeks, and his perfect smile gracing his face. Liam Payne was a proper saint; Harry was convinced. Liam nodded toward the un-put up tent. They all joined the other four and got to work.
By the time they all finished, Demi was calling them as well as the other party members into the house. They had all worked hard outside, and well, Compromising Me were a bit jet lagged. They didn’t have time to get some shut-eye, they all were at the dinner table. At the moment, the lads, Harry’s new band, Demi, and her sister Dallas were the only ones at the manor until late the next day. That’s when the rest were set to arrive.

“How did you blokes meet?” Liam questioned, making small talk over the meal that the chef had created.

Alex laughed.

“We actually met though Demi and Niall. We’re friends of Demi’s, and well Harry was looking for something new. It just so happened that we were looking for a new singer and a new sound. It fit perfectly, so we gave it a shot. It’s been working ever sense.” He stated.

Demi smiled, proud at what her friends had become.

“How’s X Factor, Liam?” Chris brought up because there was some tension in the room that he didn’t want to be a part of.

“We’ve just finished our final episode last week,”

“Oh, cool.” John added. “That must be fun,”

“Yeah,”

A few minutes rolled on with forks hitting plates, and Niall laughing at whatever it was that Demi had said this time.

“Can we all just bloody say what’s on our minds before we all start throwing forks at each other?” Zayn spoke up, looking at everyone. “When in the actual fuck did things get this bad?”

“Well ever since Harold suggested that we end the band,” Louis spoke. “I mean, It’s not like he care or anything,”

“Louis,” Zayn hissed at his best-friend

“No…Louis’ right. We’ve all been different since we decided that One Direction ran its course,” Harry spoke up, placing a hand on his chin. “Tell me more,”

Zayn shot Louis a warning glance, but Liam jumped in anyway.

“I uh…well I think that I may have found someone to properly settle down with,” Liam smiled.

“What?” Niall laughed, looking over at Liam. “Who?”

“Her name is Tasha. She’s from Manchester…she’s great. We’ve only been dating for a month or two, but ya know…it’s time for me to settle down a bit,”

“That sound great, Li,” Harry forced a smile before stealing a quick glance back at Zayn. He wasn’t looking at Liam anymore; he was staring down at his nearly-empty plate. “What’s she like?”

“Yeah, is she fit? How’s the sex? Is it just fabulous?”

Niall groaned.

“Louis…”

“No, go on, Li. Tell us,”

Liam’s cheeks were once again pink.

“I…uh….we haven’t…”

Zayn sighed, looking up from his plate.

“Can we just all pretend that we had this horrible discussion and leave it for later? My body is killing me,”

“It’s from all of those dance lessons,” Demi playfully teased. “Zayn’s been learning how to dance,”

“I think that might take a bloody miracle,” Harry joked.

“Not as bad as you were, Haz,” Liam laughed again. “All tall, lanky limbs and two-left feet,”

Everyone expect Louis laughed. They all joined in the brief moment where things were kind of okay again.

“He can’t dance at all,” Niall stated.

“Oh, I know. Remember when you tried to do that hip hop routine?” Chris jokingly asked.

“Or that time that we were clubbing?”

“Or how about-“

“Hey Harry?” Louis questioned, everyone stayed silent, turning toward him. “Remember that one time that we danced at your sister’s wedding and then fucked in the back of your Range Rover? Or how about that time that we fooled around in Tesco, do you remember that?”

“Of course,” Harry whispered, and it was like all of the air was sucked out of the room again. Louis had that effect.

“Really? Because you really seem like it was all that special to you,”

“Louis…” Liam warned again.

“Or that time that I jacked you off in the cinema with thirty crazed fans looking for us,” Louis asked, voice getting louder. He stood up, as if that made his point.

“Shut up,” Harry stated, standing up too. “Just shut up,”

“Now he cares…” Louis rolled his eyes. “Hit a nerve, Harold?”

Harry glared at the man across from him at the table.

“You left me, remember? Or is Paris completely whipped away from your memory,” Harry hissed venomously.

“We were kids, Harry,”

“Fuck you,” Harry spat.

“I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll be up in my room,” Louis stated, uncrossing his arms before walking out of the dining room. Harry took his empty wine glass, and threw it against the wall where it shattered. He paced back and forth before looking up at everyone looking at him.

“I’m going for a walk,”

And no one stopped him as he left.

§

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Harry and Louis simply weren’t supposed to interact very much, or at all, during the weekend. Things weren’t exactly going as planned, and it was hard. Harry wanted more than anything for it to be okay again. He wanted to stop fighting with Louis. Hell, he probably wanted Louis more now than he did back then. He just wanted him to himself. Louis brought up those things that he shouldn’t have been so hurt over. He wanted to hurt Harry, and that was the easiest way. Louis knew that Harry remembered everything. Hell, Harry probably remembers every single word that Louis’ ever uttered to him at some point.

It was fucked. Everything was starting to go downhill, and he had been back in London for a total of four hours. His band was probably even more confused now than they were when they arrived, and they were pretty confused. He was hoping by some miracle that they figured it out, and he wouldn’t have to say it out-loud. But Harry never really was that lucky. That’s probably why it didn’t take long for Zayn to walk out, and grip his shoulder. He didn’t speak to Harry, just walked along side of him as he got lost in his thoughts. Zayn was great for that.

“When are you going to tell him?” Harry’s voice finally broke.

Zayn made a soft noise of surprise, but chose not to answer right away. He could pretend to have no idea what Harry was talking about. Zayn could pretend that what he told Harry must have been some elaborate, lucid dream that he had. But Zayn didn’t; he knew Harry knew him. Harry was able to read Zayn better than probably anyone.

“Probably never,”

“He deserves the right to know,” Harry sighed.

“Just because you told Louis how you felt and it went awesome doesn’t mean that happens every time,” He sighed. “I can’t just tell him that I’ve been bloody in love with him since I was seventeen,”

Harry sighed, wrapping his arm loosely around Zayn’s shoulders.

“Not everything works out, but at least he would know the truth.”

“I don’t want him too,” was Zayn’s reply. He pulled out a cigarette before passing another one to Harry. He graciously accepted as they strolled along the grounds that were light up by street lamps. “You and Lou are bad enough. Haz, you should have seen the look on your band’s faces. They were like proper shocked. I think it’s fair to assume you didn’t tell them? Anyway…they were like gaping like fish. I don’t think they knew how to take it. I didn’t see anything else, because I came out here for you. Apparently their under the impression that you like to be alone in moments like this,”

Harry sighed, exhaling the smoke.

“No one knows me quite as well as the four of you did,”

“I think that they deserve to know, Haz.”

“Oh how the tables have turned,” Harry lightly joked. “Welcome to the dark side?”

Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Please, tell them? Do it for Louis at least. It’s been easy on him either.”

“He left me in Paris, Zayn.” Harry retorted.

“Yeah, and you left him for America,” He replied back just a quite witted as he remembered.

Harry looked far out, over the grounds again.

“Yeah…but I never could get away from him.”

It was like Louis followed Harry everywhere. There were plenty of new headlines that involved Louis as an up-and-coming actor. He had so many projects lined up that it was ridiculous. Harry still even followed him on twitter. He knew what Louis was doing even if he hadn’t seen him in years. He only saw his photos in the rags, and only almost ran into him once at some big event in California. Louis may have been able to run away from Harry, but Harry literally couldn’t get away from him.

It hurt. Harry was deeply wounded by Louis. He had taken his heart, torn it to pieces before stomping on it like a five-year old throwing a temper tantrum. Yet, Louis was the one to act like Harry left him. It made no sense.

“Haz…” Zayn trailed off. “How are you doing?”

Harry smiled at his old friend.

“We’re about to tour the UK, so if that answers your question,”

“Not band-wise,” He sighed. “You-wise…how are you doing?”

He shrugged, taking a final drag from his cigarette before stomping it out.

“I’m alive,”

Zayn and Harry said no more, but headed back to the house.