Just Kiss Me Slowly

“Harold Styles!”

Harry quickly turned around from where he was playfully arguing with Riley. The two had been going back and forth over what they’re going to wear for the wedding and how they were going to be each other’s dates. The two were standing in front of their equipment just waiting for the sound guys to fix everything back to the way that it was the previous night. Per Demi’s request, Comprimising Me were to do another sound check before the night’s reception. To Harry’s absolute delight; Nicholas Grimshaw was standing there in his typical rock-star fashion. Nick quickly removed his black Ray-Bans and beamed at the younger lad.

“Nicholas Grimshaw!” Harry nearly giggled before launching himself at the other tall man. Instantly Nick wrapped his arms around Harry’s body. They hugged longer than strictly necessary, and a loud, annoyed, cough resound in the area. Pulling away both Nick and Harry looked toward Louis.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite One Direction member,”

“What are you doing here, Grimshaw?” Louis snapped.

Nick gave Harry an easy smirk before turning back toward Louis.

“I thought I’d come to sleep you off of your feet, of course!”

“In your dreams,” Louis replied with his usual sarcastic bite while Riley came up beside Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Louis openly glared at Riley’s arm before turning his attention back toward Nick.

“Was that one time in Ibiza not good enough for you?”

“What?” Harry questioned; looking between the two men.

“That was one time, Nicholas,”

“It was the night of my life…. And I owe it all to you,” Nick cheekily winked.

“What in the hell?”

“Has Lewis not told you?” Nick furrowed his brows. “It only happen a year or so ago. Possibly two years. We were in Ibiza at the same time, and we quite literally ran into each other. I invited him to have some drinks, so we did it. Then we went back to my hotel and romped.”

Harry turned to look at Louis.

“Louis?”

“It was years ago, Harry,” Louis stated instead. “And we were way over,”

The curly-haired boy shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter.” He looked between the two. “How could either of you do that to me? I knew that you were really mad at me, Louis, but the fact that you slept with Nick? God you hated him!”

“It was a lot of sexual tension,” Nick grinned.

“And you!” Harry stated, turning to Nick. “How in your bloody mind did you think that it was a good idea? I spent fucking months crying to you about him! I slept at your house until I could bring myself to move! You have the nerve to sleep with Louis?”

“We didn’t meant too, Harry,”

“Is that all anyone ever says anymore?!” He burst. “I expected more from both of you! I… fucking hell,” With one last look of distain, Harry shrugged Riley’s arm off of his shoulder. Before he could feel bad He walked away and back toward the manor. He barely made it inside before he saw Liam with legs with thick combat boots wrapped around his waist and a tattooed arm curled around his neck. There may or may not have been grunting noises coming from the two men. “Get a fucking room.”

With a jerk, Liam pulled his face away from Zayn’s. He probably would’ve dropped him if it wasn’t for the fact that Zayn was clinging to him like a koala.

“Oh…uh…we…uh…”

Zayn sighed, unwinding himself before slipping past Liam’s embrace.

“What’s wrong, Haz?”

Harry shook his head.

“Every fucking thing is wrong.”

“I-“

“Harry…are you okay?” Riley questioned, breaking into the room. “God, you can move,”

“Riley, I don’t want to talk about it,”

“But you need too,”

“Why? Why do we need to have this conversation right now?”

Riley looked down at his shoes before looking back up at him.

“Because it’s hurting you, and you’re my mate. Also…I think maybe Nick and Louis are under the impression that we’re together,”

“Brilliant,” He muttered.

“I’m sorry….they just…assumed,”

“That’s great. Can you go now?”

The drummer boy looked affront by Harry’s behavior but didn’t say anything. Instead of saying something else; Riley turned around and walked back out of the door without so much as an acknowledging Zayn and Liam.

“Haz…”

“I’m fucking fine,” Harry spat, turning on his heal and walking away from them. Zayn muttered a quick apology to Liam before hurriedly following the quick figure that was already disappearing into other parts of the house. Zayn didn’t say anything else, he simply just caught up with Harry. Zayn didn’t light a cigarette like he usually would, but instead he wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist. Harry didn’t tear away. Harry stopped and crumbled in Zayn’s embrace. The dark-haired lad cuddled one of his oldest friends to his chest. He didn’t ask Harry questions. He didn’t try to comfort him with words. No; Zayn just held Harry as tight as he possibly could because he needed to be held.

Eventually, Zayn got Harry into his bed, and just held him. There, Harry allowed his tears to come. He allowed himself to sob for the first time in years over Louis. It had been painful. How in the world could he do that to him? How could Nick sleep with the one person that broke Harry’s heart into a thousand pieces. Nick knew how much Louis meant to him. He knew that Harry loved Louis so much. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t happy, and this wasn’t something that he planned. This wasn’t some fictitious story that someone had made up. It was real life, and real life sucked sometimes.

Harry sobbed. He was hurting more than anything and he just sobbed for the fact that he was in pain. He was hurting, and he wanted it to be better. He wasn’t too sure if he was ever going to get better. But Harry had faith. He had the faith that he was going to be able to pick himself back up again, and to dust himself off. He needed to get better.

“What happened, sunshine?” Zayn whispered to his mate’s hair.

“Nick fucked Louis.”

“What?!”

“Apparently they were drunk in Ibiza together and had a one night stand.”

Zayn softly stroked Harry’s hair.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. You don’t need people like that in your life,”

“I just…I can’t believe that they’d do that to me,”

“I know, sunshine,”

“You’re the best, mate,”

“I try,” Zayn playfully commented. “I’m sorry that Louis’ an ass.”

“Me too,” Harry snuffled and ended up coughing. “I don’t think that I can forgive him.”

“That’s okay too,”

“Thanks,”

“Any time, H.”

♥

“Oh god…fucking faster,” Louis withered underneath Nick. He ran his hands up and down the tall man’s back, leaving scratches in his wake. “I fucking hate you,”

“Thanks…oh god,” Nick mumbled. “You…you don’t have to be so blunt,” Louis threaded his fingers threw Nick deflating quiff, gripping as if it was a life line as Nick continued to pound into him. “I hate you so much,”

“I…hate..you too.” He grunted, picking up Louis’ leg to sit it on his shoulder. “You look so fucking good,”

“Thanks,” Louis nearly cried swiveling his hips in time to Nick’s thrust.

It wasn’t long before both of them were releasing and flopping back against each other. There wasn’t any time for Louis to feel bad before Nick was latching his lips to his neck, sucking a love bite there to show anyone else what just happened. Louis didn’t have the energy to push him off. He knew that this would happen. Louis knew exactly what Nick was hinting at when he told Harry. It was obvious by the way that he was looking at him. It wasn’t as if Louis didn’t know Nick.

Louis and Nick spent more than one night together in Ibiza. They actually spent quite a few nights together, and even days just fucking until they couldn’t walk, sucking each other off, and even talking. Louis would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy it. He really enjoyed it. He didn’t start to feel guilty until he remembered that Harry was Nick’s friend.

“I’m sorry that he found out that way,” Nick whispered sickeningly sweet against his skin.

Louis snorted.

“No, you’re not,”

“You’re right I’m not…but I do wish he was told sooner.” He whisper, taking Louis’ flesh into his mouth once again.

“Me too,”

“Do you miss him?” Nick questioned, pulling away after he was done with his work.

Louis sighed, finally turning to look at Nick.

“I’m going to always miss him.”

“Doesn’t mean that you are going to get back together with him, right?”

“Hell if I know,” Louis scoffed. “There is no telling now.”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s not your fault. I ran away from him, remember,”

There was a looming presence and Nick only rolled over to straddle Louis’ waist just to ride him until he forgot his own name.

♥

The service was gorgeous. Demi and Niall said such heartfelt vows that there was not a dry-eye in the house. Harry stood a proud best man to Niall. He was so very happy for one of his oldest friends. It was a beautiful ceremony. It was perfect for them, and the guest seemed to really enjoy it. Normal people and celebrities alike were in attendance, and people cheered endlessly when they were announced as Niall and Demetria Horan.

Riley stood by his side as he looked at Nick and Louis during the reception. The two were having some sort of conversation with great intent. The drummer squeezed his shoulder, and Harry gave him a quick hug before departing toward the two of them. Nick looked surprised that he had even approached the two of them. No matter how surprised Nick looked, nothing could compare to the shock that Louis had.

“Can I please speak with you for a minute?”

Louis sent Nick a quick glance.

“Uh…sure,”

“I can tell where I’m not wanted… I’ll be near the drinks.”

“Okay,” Louis nodded before Nick walked away. He turned back to look at Harry. “What’s going on?”

“We need to talk,” Harry stated before gripping Louis’ wrist and dragging him toward the outskirts of the wedding tent. “Why, Lou?”

“Why what?” He furrowed his brows.

“Why Nick? Why would you pick someone who is so close to me, and only me, to have sex with? Just…fuck…that’s so heartless,”

Louis stepped back as if he was punched in the gut.

“Excuse me? You don’t see me throwing nasty comments at you about Riley.”

“Riley is just my friend, we’re not fucking!” Harry stated louder than he intended to. “Which is more than I can say for you and Nick,”

“I can fuck whom I want and when I want to,”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry scoffed. “I can’t believe you,”

“Why don’t we just be honest with each other then?”

“Fine!” Harry spat. “I fucking hate you sometimes! God, I do love you, Louis. I’ve always loved you. But you’re not for me. You ruined me. You broke my heart and I can’t fucking be with you again!”

“Then why are we having this conversation?!” Louis yelled. “Why are we standing here yelling when we could be ignoring each other?!”

“Because I don’t want it to be over!” Harry yelled back. “I don’t want to fucking give you up, okay?!”

“But you did!” He stated. “You let me run away from you!”

“What was I supposed to do?! Was I supposed to follow someone who declined my marriage proposal?!”

“YES.”

Harry stood breathing at he looked at Louis’ tear stained face. They just stared at each other for that moment, breathing it all in. Louis was all that mattered in that moment. He was all that Harry wanted in that moment, no matter how long it would take.

“What?”

“Yes,” the shorter man stated, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “You were supposed to run after me and make me say yes. You were supposed to tell me that I was being stupid and that love is enough.”

“But you walked away.”

“I know that. I know, Harry. I fucking screwed up, what more do you want?”

“You,” Harry whispered before he closed to distance. He gripped Louis’ cheeks tightly in his hands and kissed him like he hadn’t in forever. He loved him, but this was it. Harry knew that in the back of his mind. The entire time Harry knew that this was him officially letting Louis go and vice-versa. It felt like a breakup. Permanent. Forever.

Louis sighed as they pulled away, before looking up at Harry and laughing.

“Was that weird?”

“It was a bit, yeah,”

“Since when have we been weird?” Louis questioned, shaking his head.

Harry just shrugged his shoulders.

“I uh….I guess that….it’s done?”

“Done?”

“Well… maybe not for forever, but for now,”

But they knew it was a lie. Harry left it open-ended, room for more, but they both knew that it wasn’t going to happen. If they were meant to be, then they would have been a long time ago. They were just each other’s first loves. They were the ones that went through a bunch of first together. The thing about first love is that it doesn’t always last. It’s rare that your first love ends up being your last love. Louis was far from being Harry’s last love, and Harry knew that Louis’ last love happened to be just across the way; right beside the refreshment table where he was waiting for his forever to return.

“I guess we should get back,” Louis sighed. “And to think…just a day or two ago I was still mad about you,”

Harry shrugged.

“It only takes a small nudge in the right direction to get a new perspective.”

“Oh god,”

“What?”

“You fucking hipster,” Louis complained.

Harry laughed.

“I hear in the rumor mill that you’re quite fond of the hipster types,”

Louis’ smiled changed into something different.

“Yeah…I guess they’re quite right,”

With a nod, the two men walked side by side with each other before ending up next to where Nick was.

“Glad to see that you two haven’t killed each other,”

“We’re actually okay,” Harry admitted. “I mean…I’m not thrilled to find out about the two of you, but I can get over it.”

“Good to know, young Harold,”

Harry rolled his eyes before turning toward the stage where the rest of his band happened to be assembling.

“Duty calls,”

“Which reminds me that I’ve got to go do sound,” Nick stated. “Louis…you coming?”

Louis shook his head.

“I’m fine,”

“Okay,” Nick smiled, gripping his hand before departing.

Harry quickly jumped onto the stage with his band. They announced the first dance which was soon followed by Demi’s song, and then the father-daughter dance. Compromising Me played a few more covers before Harry stepped up to the microphone.

“This next song is a song I wrote about my first love,” He stated. From the crowd, Liam looked over at Zayn with stupid heart eyes. Demi cuddled into Niall’s chest, and Louis lifted his wine-filled glass toward him. He looked at all of the eyes staring at him, and he remembered that he still was speaking. “Which is quite the story, but the funny thing about first love is that it’s not your last. So…I propose a toast to my first love, and may he have all of the luck in the world, because he’s a handful,”

Louis smiled that stupid smile, and he felt his heart broke as he felt the sense of loss. It was big, possibly bigger than he used to allow himself to feel previously. But Louis felt it none the less. This wasn’t some fictitious story that someone had made up. It was real life, and real life sucked sometimes.

I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now

Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me

And it's taking me to somewhere new

If you believe that everything's alright

You won't be all alone tonight

And I'd be blessed by the light of your company,

Slowly lifting me to somewhere new

Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well

Since the last time that we spoke, you said

"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."

Please

What a night it is, when you live like this

And you're coming up beneath the clouds,

Don't let me down

All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now

You know, I still can't believe we both did some things

I don't even wanna think about

Just say you love me and I'll say "I'm sorry,

I don't want anybody else to feel this way"

No, no, no

Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well

Since the last time that we spoke, I said

"Please understand I've been drinking again, and all I do is hope"

Please... stay

Please stay

I'll admit I was wrong about everything

Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down

All the fun that we had on your mothers couch,

I don't even wanna think about

I'm not strong enough for the both of us

What was I supposed to do

You know I love you

Whoa-oh

Please just stay

Stay

When they finished the song, Louis probably clapped the loudest, he was so freaking proud of his first love. He was so unbelievably happy. Something….Louis had something to actually look forward too. He was upset with the circumstances, but as he turned to look over at Nick doing the sound he found out that he didn’t much care. He smiled, and yeah, Louis could get used to this.

♥

This wasn’t some fictitious story that someone had made up. It was real life, and real life sucked sometimes. Harry had learned that the time that he had spent at the manor before the wedding. He learned of the things that he never wished to know. At the time they were huge, but now that he thought about it, it wasn’t that big. Life didn’t hate him. His life was actually rather fantastic. His life had always been really good, despite the heartbreak. He had been blessed, and sometimes it was hard to forget that there is always blessing.

Harry was sitting at the bar with a woman with red hair and a black dress walked toward him. He suddenly felt self conscious because he just wasn’t into women. She got a glass of champagne, and settled into the seat beside him.

“You and your band are great,”

“I’m gay,”

She laughed; fully on glee spread over her face.

“I’m not hitting on you.”

“Right…sorry,” Harry laughed, blush creeping up his neck. “Harry Styles; wedding band and best man,”

“Kelly May; makeup artist,”

“Kelly,” Harry smiled. “Nice to meet you,”

“You too,” She smiled, showing off white teeth that was surrounded by cheery red lipstick.

But sometimes life is beautiful and unexpected.

And Harry was okay with that. Looking at Kelly, he thinks that he’s starting to understand. You can’t count out someone if you’ve never meet anyone like them before. And who’s to say that the girl couldn’t be his forever?

Only time will tell.