Mike and Jeff Versus the Zombie Apocalypse

Two hours later, Sarah and Julie were fixing dinner in the kitchen with Dustin Penner’s help when the doorbell rang, followed by hurried knocking. Mike opened the door and soon, Shea Weber and Pekka Rinne filled the door to the kitchen.

“You’ll have to take off your clothes so we can make sure no zombies bit you on the way here,” Julie said. Sarah smiled sweetly and then licked her lips as Shea pulled off his shirt.

“You did say that you thought I’d make a good partner for the zombie apocalypse after all,” Shea said with a wolfish grin. Sarah fanned herself.

“For fucks sake!” Mike exclaimed, tossing Shea back his shirt. “I'm gonna call Camille." Shea barked out a laugh.

"I already called her. She thinks its funny that of all the people I would ride out a zombie apocalypse with is her ex boyfriend and his wife. She meanwhile is already in Kansas with Callahan. Thank God she was up in New York City visiting those guys."

"Yeah well, keep your clothes on before Sarah gets ideas. I was nice enough to see if you guys wanted to ride this out with us after all.”

“What about the rest of your teammates?” Julie asked.

“Zombies got in the hotel,” Pekka answered. “Ate them.”

“Poor Carrie Underwood,” Sarah murmured. “Her husband was a total babe.” Julie giggled at her.

“The zombies got to Taylor Swift; she ate Carrie. It was all over TMZ,” Shea said.

“Seriously? That girl is fucking crazy. Eating Carrie Underwood...who does that? Carrie seemed like a perfectly nice person.”

“Dinners ready!” Dustin yelled out. All of the guys thundered into the kitchen and grabbed plates and began shoveling food on to them. Sarah and Julie stood back, shaking their heads at them.

“I think everyone needs a zombie buddy,” Jeff said a few hours later as everyone sat around in the living room, discussing strategy. “Safety in numbers and all that.”

“I pick Shea!” Sarah called out. Shea laughed as Mike shot a death glare at him and hauled Sarah closer to him.

“You are stuck with me, like it or not,” Mike said lowly.

“But Mike!” Sarah whined playfully.

“Since Sarah can’t buddy with Shea, I will,” Julie spoke up.

“Oh hell no!” Jeff yelled out.

“Okay, then I’ll take Drew.”

“What?!”

Julie laughed. “It’s so much fun to rile you up," she said before leaning up to kiss his cheek. Jeff wrapped her in his arms, his hands resting affectionately on her belly.

“Okay, since obviously the couples are zombie buddies,” Dustin said, “I’ll take Kopi, Drew will take Jarret, and Shea and Pekka will be a pair. Dan will go with Jeff and Julie since Julie is so pregnant and can punch zombies in the face. Good?”

“I mean, I don’t think it’s fair to stick the two guys together that don’t even know this city,” Sarah said. “So I’ll take Shea and Julie will take Peks and Dan. How does that sound to you, Julie?”

“Sounds great to me, Sarah,” she answered with a wink.

“I’ll take Shea,” Jeff said. “And Julie will go with Drew and Dan. Dustin and Peks can be buddies, Kopi and Stollsy will buddy up, and Sarah will stay with Mike at all times as she can not be trusted.” Sarah stuck her tongue out at Jeff.

“You’re no fun,” Sarah complained. "Also, why do I get the shortest dude in the room for a buddy? That hardly seems fair. We're like the two shortest people here."

Julie bit back a laugh and Dustin snorted but the rest laughed out loud. "You married the shortest dude in the room," Jarret pointed out.

"That should not actually be a reason to force us together."

"There isn't anyone else in this world that you want to face a zombie apocalypse with," Dustin said. "Not even Weber's dimple."

"That is actually true. Also, eighty five percent of the reason I married Mike," Sarah grinned.

"What's the other fifteen percent?" Mike asked.

"There's this thing you do sometimes, with your tongue, and--" Mike stole the rest of her words, covering her mouth with his, kissing her long and slow and pulled her across his lap.

Sarah smirked when they broke apart. "Yeah, sort of like that but better when your mouth is---" he cut her off with another kiss and Sarah settled against him contentedly.

"I can't wait for Camille to meet you," Shea said, shaking his head. "She is going to love you."



Sometime around midnight, Sarah and Julie passed out in Mike and Sarah’s bedroom with Arnold in between them. Jeff, Drew, and Anze fell asleep scattered across the living room, Pekka in the safe room, while Dan, Jarret, Mike, and Shea stood watch. Around one, the power went out. Mike handed out flashlights and at two, a crashing bang woke everyone up in the house.

Jarret thundered up the stairs and herded the two girls into the designated safe room with Dan. “Do not under any circumstance open this door unless we give the password, got it?” he instructed. Sarah and Julie nodded and Pekka followed Jarret from the room.

Jeff tossed the two men hockey sticks when they reached the landing. “What’s the status?” Jarret asked.

Shea dropped the dark curtain they had hung over the one window that they left partially unboarded across the top. “Zombies are three houses down,” he said as screams filled the otherwise still night.

“If they eat that slutty girl next door, Sarah will be thrilled,” Jeff said. “And if she becomes a zombie, we should really let her decapitate the bitch. She’d enjoy that.” Mike frowned.

“Shut up, Carts.”

“I think you owe her that,” Dustin added.

“Fuck you both,” Mike replied. Loud thumping at the front door drew their attention and they all grabbed their hockey sticks and readied, spread out and covering all ways into the room. They could hear low grumbling from outside, scratching at the doors, and the glass of the windows breaking.

“I hope to fuck you guys boarded up those windows good,” Jeff muttered.

“Dude, I’m awesome,” Dustin retorted. “And very handy. We’re good.”

“Braaaaaaiiinnnsss,” came a collective groan from outside. There was a loud crash against the garage door.

“You better hope whatever you did holds up in the garage,” Jarret said. “Who thought it was a good idea to put Carter in charge of boarding up the garage anyway?”

“I did,” Julie said calmly as she climbed down the stairs with Sarah on her heels. They were each armed with a hockey stick and each girl had a handgun strapped to their thighs.

“Where the hell did you two get guns?” Drew asked.

“We grew up in the country,” Sarah replied. “We happen to be excellent fucking shots, thankyouverymuch.”

“Also, we’re both permitted to carry concealed,” Julie added.

“And its sexy as hell, two girls strapped up with guns,” Sarah said.

“You’re supposed to be upstairs,” Mike told her.

“And let you guys have all the fun? As if!” Sarah shouted. “I wanna kill some motherfucking zombies!”

"I told you to stay. How did you get pass Dan?" Jarret asked.

"I punched him," Sarah answered.

"I taught her too well," Dan added, coming up behind them, two guns holstered on his shoulders. “PS, you’re pregnant wife with a gun is a fantasy I never knew I had, Carts.”

“Don’t think about Julie like that!” Jeff said as he flipped him off. "I''ll make Sarah punch you again."

"Why?" Sarah asked. "It is totally hot. Then again, so is Dan with guns strapped to those shoulders." She ruffled his hair as he stopped beside Sarah and he leaned into her touch with a shit eating grin.

"Step away from my wife," Mike growled at him. Sarah giggled at him.

Julie walked to the hall closet and reached inside, pulling out four shotguns. She handed one to Shea, one to Jarret, one to Anze, and one to Drew. “Sorry I don’t have a gun for you, Pekka,” she said.

He smiled. “Not a problem. You’ll shoot if they come for me.”

“Damn straight I will,” Julie grinned.

“What about me?” Jeff whined. “Why don’t I get a gun?”

“Because Julie has your back and I have Mike’s,” Sarah answered with a grin as she moved to stand beside Mike. She grabbed Mike’s face and pulled him into a kiss. “I love you, sweet cheeks,” she whispered.

“I fucking love you, babe. You’re so hot with that gun,” he said lowly.

“I know.” Mike put an arm around her waist and held Sarah at his side. Julie moved beside Jeff and kissed him.

“You ready to do this?” Julie asked him.

“Let’s kick some zombie ass!” Jeff yelled.