Everything I Wanted but Nothing I'll Ever Need

When Zayn started going to the tattoo parlor, One Direction, there were only a few in the store at a time (his tattoo artist Ed, another tattoo artist Louis, Harry the floor manager and a few clients at any given time). This is the way he liked it, he’s never been good with crowds or really more than five people. It’s just, Zayn grew up in a large family and when he moved from Bradford to London he forgot what is was like to be in such a large group of people at all times. He turned into a recluse and followed his routine (wake up, smoke, get ready for work, read comics, talk with nerds, smoke break, lunch break, read more comics, draw, smoke, go home, get take away, smoke, smoke, smoke, sleep) and he stuck with that until he got a tattoo by Ed Sheeran and made One Direction and tattoos fit into his routine.

Zayn likes routine more than most things so any form of change really catches him off guard. So one Friday when he walks into One Direction and there is a new guy (albeit hot new guy) playing pool Zayn’s mind is reeling and he instantly goes outside for a smoke. He wasn’t prepared to see a devastatingly handsome six feet tall stud wearing a snapback and tank top playing pool. Zayn really needs warning if someone new will be in the shop and honestly extra warning if the person is going to be that sexy.

After two cigarettes Zayn feels like he is ready to go back inside. His breath still hitches when he sees the new guy but at least he doesn’t feel like he’ll have an anxiety attack which is improvement.

“Zaynie! My boy!” Louis yells from his station where he is tattooing Harry yet again.

Zayn can’t help but smile and only glances once at the new comer before walking over to his friends. “Hey Louis, Hey Harry. What are you getting now?”

“Dunno.” Harry answers, “Louis didn’t tell me.”

“You have too much faith in him dude.” Zayn tells Harry ruffling his hair.

“I’m offended.” Louis snaps but Zayn knows he’s joking.

“Love makes you do crazy things.” Harry responded with a cheeky grin.

Zayn rolled his eyes, “I’m going to puke.’

“Well don’t puke on my friend Liam over there.” Zayn glanced over to Liam who obviously heard Harry’s comment and smiled over at them. “Him and my other friend Niall are here. Niall is supposed to be getting tattooed but he probably isn’t, he’s a wimp.”

“Not everyone loves getting tattooed as much as you do, Haz.” Louis sighed.

Harry scoffed, “You’re one to talk.”

Zayn rolled his eyes again, which he probably does more around Harry and Louis than anything else, “Okay love birds, I’m going to see Ed.”

As Zayn walked away he could hear Harry tell Louis they should get love birds and then Louis laughed at him but the next time Zayn sees them (maybe even later) they’ll have matching love bird tattoos.

Zayn hoped to walk past Liam but Liam obviously had other plans, “Hey, I’m Liam and you must be Zayn.”

“Oh uhm, hey.”Zayn curses under his breath at how utterly lame he is.

“Harry talks about his tattoo family all the time and I met all of them except for a Zayn so…” Liam trailed off turning pink.

“Oh right yeah, that’d be then. Uhm Harry said something about a Niall getting tattooed?” Zayn questioned.

Liam laughed, “Yeah Niall is my roommate. Harry and I have been trying to get him to get a tattoo for years but he just wont do it. I figured maybe dragging him into the shop would help.”

“Hopefully,” Zayn smiled. “Well I’m going to see Ed and I’ll check on Niall’s status.”

“Maybe you can convince him to get one.”

Zayn laughed again, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Zayn finally walked away and headed for Ed’s office in the back of the shop (which is a really cool, dimly lit, room where he set up his tattoo station and where he records songs if he has the time). Instead of seeing Ed tattooing Niall, he saw and heard them playing the guitar and singing together. He saw Ed’s heart eyes and decided not to interrupt so he walked back to the front of the shop.

“That was quick.” Liam commented.

“I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Was he actually getting a tattoo!?”

Liam looked so excited Zayn didn’t want to tell him the truth and crush that look of happiness but he couldn’t lie, “No sorry mate. They were playing guitars and singing.”

“Typical.” Liam sighed.

Zayn simpled smiled and walked back over to Louis and Harry hoping to hang out with them.

“Oh, Zayn you left your sketch book here. It’s at the front desk.”

“Ah, thank you. I guess I’ll go sketch then. Thanks man.”

“Have fun.” Harry called to him.

Zayn settled at the light station with his sketchbook, a few of Ed’s best pencils and erasers. He put his headphones in and let himself forget about the work day and the hot new boy and set to work. Zayn was so enthralled in his art that he didn’t even realize everyone left, including Harry and Louis until Ed was tapping his shoulder telling him it was time to head out.

After that night Zayn t hought he wouldn’t have any more runins with Liam especially since it’s clear Niall isn’t getting a tattoo so theres no reason for him to show up. Which of course isn’t the case. The next weekend Liam was there playing pool and Niall was in Ed’s room messing about on the guitar and Louis and Harry were either tattooing each other or shagging in the closet. Zayn kept to himself and drew, still unsure of how to act with new people in the shop. A few more weeks of this and Zayn was finally becoming okay with the additions because really Liam is quiet and sweet and god is he good to look at and Niall is usually playing guitar or laughing at Louis and well, the whole thing is nice. Everyone has their place and everyone gets along and Zayn never thought this would actually happen to him.

Of course right after Zayn got used to hanging out with the group he was thrown another curveball when he walked into the shop one Wednesday night and it was just Ed, Niall and Liam. Zayn was just thankful he was getting tattooed so he wouldn’t have to actually interact with Niall or Liam on his own.

“Hey Z, you ready?” Ed called to him before Zayn could run away.

“I was born ready.”

“Good come on back. Niall get out of my office.”

“No need to shout for fuck’s sake.” Niall muttered as he left Ed’s office and sat at Louis’ station.

“getting a tattoo?” Liam asked to which Zayn nodded. “Can I watch?”

“Uhm, sure.” Zayn shrugged.

“I don’t have to…” Liam trailed off.

“No Liam, it’s okay.”

Liam smiled warming Zayn’s heart and followed him to Ed’s office. Zayn sat in the chair and rolled his jean up as Liam sat in the chair in the corner of the room.

“You can sit closer, ya know.” Zayn teased, loving the way Liam flushed and couldn’t help but smile at how timid he looked moving the chair so he was sitting right next to Zayn.

“Alright Z, you know the drill.” Ed starts to say. “Any last words?”

“Nope.”

“Well those are terrible last words.” Liam giggled.

Zayn laughed, “I’m sorry my last words don’t live up to your standards.

“S’okay. I guess I’ll forgive you.”

“Now that we’ve got Liam’s approval, let’s get started, yeah?” Ed questioned.

It was only a couple of seconds into the tattoo when Zayn was questioning why he decided to get a leg tattoo.

“Liam, mate, I might need you to distract me.”

“Oh, okay. Well what do you do Zayn? Other than hanging out here?”

“I work at a comic book store and make horrible decisions such as where to get a tattoo.”

“Don’t forget the bit about writing your own comic.” Ed added.

“Wow really?”

“Yeah its not much since it’s still in the early stages. What do you do Liam? Just talk to me, yeah?”

Liam nodded and moved to rest his elbow on the armrest of the chair and casually took one of Zayn’s hands in his own before starting to tell Zayn all about himself. Zayn listened intently to everything Liam was telling him and often times squeezed Liam’s hand probably too hard but Liam didn’t falter once. By the end of the team Zayn felt like he really wanted to kiss Liam forever.

“Thank you for helping me Liam. I really appreciate it.” Zayn told Liam as they lingered outside of their cars.

“It’s honestly no problem. Sorry I bored you with my life story.” Liam shrugged looking at the ground.

“Hey,” Zayn said touching Liam’s arm, “Don’t apologize, I really enjoyed learning all about you.”

Liam blushed, “Okay well maybe I’ll get a tattoo and you can tell me all about you.”

“how about dinner instead?”

“Oh. Okay yeah that sounds better.”

Zayn grinned, “Great. Give me your number yeah? I don’t work Saturday night…” Zayn trailed off.

“Saturday night it is.” Liam said handing Zayn his phone so Zayn could enter his number, calling himself to have Liam’s before handing it back to Liam.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” Zayn told him with a smile.

“Drive safe, Zayn.” Liam responded, “talk soon.”

Before departing for the night Liam kissed Zayn’s cheek making both boys blush. Zayn would be lying if he said he didn’t touch his cheek all night and pray that he would be getting more kisses from Liam. The next morning Zayn woke up to a text from Liam stating ‘gooood morning! xx : )’. Zayn found it so cute he was practically squealing all morning as he got ready for work. Liam and Zayn ended up texting each other every day and night up until Saturday night. At dinner the two were shy, blushing and awkward but it was probably the best date either of them have ever had. When they said goodnight this time Liam kissed Zayn properly and Zayn was seeing stars for the rest of the night and wondering how he get so lucky.
The news of their date spread about the shop quickly so when they showed up at the tattoo parlor together a couple days after their date, the other boys made fun of them mercilessly. They took it in stride though, too happy to care and instead of Liam playing pool by himself Zayn joined in (these round of games they exchanged kisses and it was great). Liam and Zayn started going on more dates and even went on double dates with Louis and Harry. The whole group would go out after the shop closed most nights and Zayn was constantly behing reminded that groups really aren’t that bad (he probably just lost himself moving to the big city and maybe to find himself again he had to join a group).

Dating Liam made Zayn so happy and he wasn’t a recluse anymore and his art and comic book were finally coming along. He wouldn’t say he’s in love but he’s well on his way and god he doesn’t stop smiling his face will split in two. On Zayn’s day off he decides he misses Liam too much so he orders their favorite meal from their favorite take away restaurant and heads to Liam’s office. He gets a visitors pass and takes an elevator to lam’s floor. On the way to Liam’s desk Zayn is whistling and he can’t wait to see him and can’t wait to see Liam’s face when he surprises him. When Zayn walks into Liam’s cubicle he stops in his tracks and in slow motion he can feel his heart shatter. Liam is sitting in his chair with a toddler climbing all over him with a woman standing to the side watching completely elated. The scene in front of Zayn looks like its an ad or something and Zayn isn’t sure what to do, until the woman notices Zayn and she gets Liam’s attention.

“Zayn!” Liam states eyes wide and a smile playing along his lips. “What a surprise! What are you doing here?”

Zayn isn’t sure what Liam is trying to pull but he isn’t happy about it so he puts the food on the only open space of the desk and walks out. He can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not that Liam didn’t chase after him, Zayn probably would have punched him in the face if he did go after him. Zayn was crying by the time he got to his flat and he was so angry he wanted to destroy things. Instead he just grabbed a box of cigarettes and went outside to have a smoke or twelve. He just couldn’t figure out or understand why Liam would lie about something like this. How can someone just hide the fact that they have a family? He thought Liam told him everything; he thought they were honest with each other. It hurts, it hurts so bad and Zayn just doesn’t know what to do or what to think.

He was on his tenth cigarette when he heard loud thundereous knocks on his door. He did his best to ignore them but Zayn just couldn’t handle it so he finally flicked his cigarette to the ground and went to open the door.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked him. “Please Zayn, you’re scaring me the shit out of me.”

“What’s wrong?! You fucking hid the fact that you have a family and you ask me what’s wrong? I trusted you Liam! God, I let you in and I trusted you! I was falling in love with you and you broke my heart! I hate you!” Zayn screamed.

“Zayn please, just let me explain.”

“No!” Zayn yelled. “No! You don’t get to!” Zayn yelled again walking to his desk in his living room and grabbing every sketch and few finished chapters featuring a caricature of Liam. Zayn ripped the papers to pieces in front of Liam and threw them at Liam.” Get out.” Zayn slammed the door in Liam’s face and slid against it, suddenly very tired and in need of a strong drink.

The few weeks following the lunch disaster Zayn avoided the tattoo parlor and kept completely to himself again, smoking and drinking when he wasn’t at work. The fourth week of Zayn hiding away and ignoring everyone someone finally came to his rescue, barging into the comic book store ready to yell at Zayn.

“Listen up, Malik.” Niall yelled. “You’re being a dumb twat. I know what you think you saw but you were very wrong. That woman is my sister in law and that boy is my nephew. My brother watched Liam and I grow up together and once his wife came into the picture she became a sister to both of us. My nephew calls me and Liam uncle and if they are in town they will visit Liam. Now stop being a loser and please go see Liam at the shop. He’s a right mess and honestly I should be beating the shit out of you for being such a wanker. Now do whatever the fuck you have to do to leave and go make up with my best friend.” Niall finished his rant and walked out, mumbling about crazy mofos under his breath.

Niall didn’t leave as quickly as Niall probably expected but there was no one to cover his shift so he had to wait until the night crew came in. Having to stay at work however gave him time to think about everything Niall said and how stupid he was being. He should have listened to Liam; honestly he was just so hurt he didn’t want to. Now he just hopes Liam will forgive him. He tried to think of a plan as to what to say to Liam but the second Zayn saw Liam anything he was planning to say escaped his thoughts. Zayn walked up to Liam and opened to say something but instead Liam just kissed him quiet.

“It’s okay,” Liam said. “It’s okay. Niall told me he went to talk to you.”

“I’m so sorry. It just hurt, Liam. I thought you had another family and I-“

Liam cut him off, “You are the only person I want to call my family. Please just give me another chance. I want you and I want to fall in love with you. Please Zayn.”

“Yes Liam. I want that too. I promise I won’t jump to any conclusions. I’m so sorry.”

Liam kissed Zayn again just so he would stop apologizing before grabbing his hand and leading him to his car.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked as Liam opened his car door.

“Here.” Liam said closing his car door and handing Zayn a folder, “they were too beautiful to destroy.”

“Liam-“ Zayn started to say but couldn’t form the words.

“Sh, one more thing.” Liam took off his jacket and held his arm up to show Zayn his new tattoo. “I know it’s a little soon but…” Liam trailed off.

“Liam it’s wonderful.” Zayn reassured him, his fingertips tracing over the inscription that states ‘everything I wanted but nothing I’ll ever need’. “It’s not for me, is it?”

“Mostly you.” Liam shrugged, “but also for the rest of the guys and just you really.”

Zayn could feel his heart repairing itself. “This means so much, Li. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“You’re welcome now please stop thanking me and kiss me forever.”