You Kill Me

Vic Fuentes sat in his bunk as he watched the tour busses roll in, one by one. Each bus that he watched arrive made the knot in his stomach tighten. This was his band, Pierce the Veil’s, first year on Warped Tour, or their first major music festival ever. Now, it wasn’t the thought of playing shows that made him nervous; he had done that tons of times. But it was the fact that he had to meet bands that he had only interacted with over social networking sites, such as Twitter. One of his biggest fears was meeting Kellin Quinn, lead vocalist for a band called Sleeping With Sirens. Vic knew it was their first year on Warped as well, but that didn’t stop his mind from channeling voices.

Vic was diagnosed with multiple things, none of which his fans knew. He only kept it to himself & the other members of his band. He felt safest doing this for personal reasons. He had horrible anxiety, severe depression, schizophrenia, PTSD, & other things that he had never let get in the way of what he loved doing the most; performing. Actually, performing each & every show made him stronger & he wouldn’t give it up for the world. It was his life.

Leaving his bunk & shutting the curtains, Vic walked through the lobby of the bus & out the door, sitting on the steps to the door. Busses were stilling pulling in, but not as many as before. He watched, waiting for the small boy with black, cheek-length hair to step out of a bus, maybe with some of his own band mates. He pulled out his phone, maybe expecting a text or a DM from Kellin, but nothing was shown. Sighing, he set his phone down next to him & shut his eyes, slowly drifting off.

His hands were pushed out from underneath his chin, causing his head to fall & waking him up instantly. Vic rubbed his eyes & looked up to see a face covered in sunglasses & black hair. The man spoke with a high-pitched voice, but it hit him who it was. “Hey, Vic!”

“Hey Kellin, what’s up man?” Vic laughed, pulling him in for a quick hug & a pat on the back.

“Nothing much man, just chilling on the bus. I was waiting for you actually, but I kind of slipped & fell asleep, oops.”

Vic & Kellin made a small conversation & watched it build from there. Words about Warped, new albums, the bands, & upcoming tours were shared. Kellin took odd notes on his iPhone as Vic spoke to him, sharing a quick laugh every five minutes. “Hey, let’s head inside the bus. The rest of the band, Tony, Jaime, & Mike are in there, but they shouldn’t mind. They’re pumped to meet you, too!”

Vic held the door for Kellin & let him in. Tony smiled a big smile & Mike threw his hands up in the air. “Aye look, it’s Kellin. What’s up, man?”

“Nothing really, just swapping ideas with Vic, haha. I’m so glad I finally get to meet you guys! & I can’t wait to get to know you better! Thank you so much for letting me on the bus with you guys; I’ve only been here for 5 minutes & it’s so much calmer than it is on my bus,” Kellin laughed at Mike.

Vic took Kellin down to his bunk & sat with him. Now, this wasn’t as bad as Vic thought it was, was it? Kellin was a chill guy. Vic sat with him for 3 hours in his bunk, laughing & sharing stories from screw-ups with the band. He trusted the guy, how couldn’t he? He was sweet & hilarious, but Vic didn’t know if he’d be safe to open up to. He seemed like he would be, but Vic was still a little on edge about it. His anxiety was still bothering him & it wasn’t helping that he was hearing voices. He just wanted it to stop.

Pierce the Veil was playing main stage tonight at 6:30, so Vic decided to get started on his vocal warm-ups as the rest on the band stretched. Cleaning seemed to help him calm down as he did this, so he went ahead & scrubbed the shower in the bathroom on the bus. But he couldn’t seem to get the thought of Kellin off his mind. He had spoken to Kellin several times before, but maybe it was seeing him in person that seemed to get him by surprise. Vic had seemed & felt more attracted to Kellin & that confused him, but who was he kidding, everything confused him.

Kellin made Vic’s head spin. Vic didn’t want to say he loved Kellin, but something drove him insane about him. It could have been his black hair that flowed with caramel highlights, or the way his eyes changed from a crystal blue to an emerald green, or maybe it was hearing the sound of his voice, but he had no idea. It could have been the way that his lips looked so soft & kissable, or the way that the corners of his mouth flipped when he smiled or laughed. Maybe it was even the way that he talked with his hands that drove Vic insane. He just had no idea how.

Even though these thoughts were taking over Vic’s mind, it was time to go on stage. Vic grabbed his guitar & slipped on a snapback, before grabbing the rest of the band & walking off the bus. They stood backstage & made small conversation before the stage manager came & gave them their two minute warning. Vic decided that for this next hour or two, he’d throw the thoughts out of his mind & would put on the best performance for the people that he loved the most.

Being followed by Jaime, Mike, & Tony, he made his way on stage & smiled a huge smile into the microphone. “What’s up, San Diego?!”