Secrets

"About 5 months ago I was 3 months pregnant." Rose began "But what I needed was a fresh start. I didn't want the baby to have the same childhood as I had. I didn't want Connor to harm my baby... So I never told him about the pregnancy. I know that the right thing to have done would have been to tell him; but Connor wasn't in my plan. My plan was to move to Argentina or Peru; some place exotic to escape from this place and start a clean sheet. I went to the doctors for a check up and the doctor said that everything was healthy, she was also about to reveal the sex of the baby until Connor stormed in. I didn't know how he found out but I could tell by the stern expression on his face that he wasn't happy. He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside to talk to me. I don't remember much of what he said, I just remember feeling sick with fear. My vision that was so precise and clear had suddenly clouded and I just couldn't think. The next thing that I remember was Connor punching me... but not in the face; in my stomach. I then realized what he was doing and ran straight back into the doctor's room as she began to scan my tummy. Her gleaming smile turned cold as I watched her closely 'I can't detect a heart beat; and there's some internal bruising' the doctor started.'what does that mean?' i then asked; 'I'm so sorry but she's dying!' the doctor replied. I couldn't believe it...she was a girl. My whole world tumbled down around me as I had gotten so close to getting everything that I wanted. I couldn't think. Everything went blurry. but I just remember Connor standing in the corner of the room with a smug smile spread across his face."
"That's..." Fernando trailed off,"That's horrible. No-one should have to go through that!"
"Well I did. And I still remember that smile of his," Rose sobbed with her voice trembling "Is it crazy to miss her?"
"No. Your child died!" Fernando sympathetically commented.
"My child was never alive" Rose replied staring into the ground.
"She was; it's ok to mourn. Everything is ok and is going to be ok." Fernando calmly soothed.
"No, no everything is not ok. Ok? My boyfriend has killed my baby, cheated on me with my best friend, abused me, lied to me, held my past against me, put everyone else before me; and you're telling me that everything is OK?" Rose argued getting herself wound up, "Every wall that I put up has come crashing down for him and he plays me like a game. I fell in-love with him Fernando. I fell in-love with a guy who did everything in his power to hurt me. My heart has got some serious issues Fernando and I worry that ok isn't going to be enough to pull me out of this whole that's getting deeper and deeper."
"Rose; you know that you're not in this alone; I will always have your back because you're only human. It's human to fall in-love with people that hurt you like there's no tomorrow because that's just the way that it goes. Everyone makes mistakes... I would know... I mean after all look at how my marriage turned out."
"Olalla doesn't deserve you Fernando. You are the nicest guy that I have ever known and Olalla has treated you like crap to be quite honest. You deserve to be with someone that you trust."
"Olalla doesn't treat me that badly I mean after all I'm at fault for letting our marriage slip through the cracks!"
"Hey Fernando, don't go down this road of self blame; once you start there's no going back. Nothing can justify cheating. Cheating is when people go around behind your back with other people knowing that they're hurting you. Some marriages just don't work out. you're the innocent one. you stayed loyal, you were always there by her side, you held on to every glimpse of hope that you could find, ok? I don't want you to have any doubts about your role in the affair."
"Rose. Olalla's back." Fernando warned as he and Rose walked over to the window overlooking the drive.
"What? Who's that with her?" Rose asked in a concerned tone.
Fernando's voice turned sour "Mike" he managed to spit out.
"and is Mike the guy who she..."
"Yes" Fernando interrupted "Mike's the guy that she has the affair with."