Status: Up and At 'Em
War Machine
Run
It was 6th grade. Nobody really payed attention to her. So she tried too hard to be accepted. She was 140 pounds and had no self esteem. Her golden hair showered her backside and her blue eyes always pierced through people. She was a follower, not a leader. Everyone always mentioned how much she laugh and smiled and how happy she must be, but inside was a monster.
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She leans against the green walls as she waits in line to get into class. She clutches her pink folders and supplies close to her body so no one would book her again. She stares at everyone in the hallway, chatting and smiling, it makes her squirm.
Erin slides up next to her and smiles.
"So I heard you like Casey!?" Erin practically yells in the hallway. She panics and quickly looks around, hoping no one heard. She contemplates what to say to her. Does she tell her yes? Does she say no? She wanted friends, and she thought maybe this was the way to it.
"Yes, I-I do" she said nervously, not realizing what she did. Erin was the biggest loudmouth in the school. She was the one person you should never tell anything to because she would never keep a secret, especially not for her.
"You should tell him", she said as she smiled devilishly, "he told me he likes you."
Her heart fluttered as she smiled big. She was so excited, now she would be popular because his friends would like her, she just knew it. She would meet all new people and they would get to know her, the real her.
"I'll so go tell him!" she yelled as she ran over to him in delight, not giving Olivia even a moment to protest.
"Olivia likes you!" she screamed so everyone could hear. Olivia walked over to him as she yelled, just in time to see the look of disgust on his face. He looked at her and told her that he would never like her because she was disgusting. Her shoulders slumped and she tried to keep her smile from faltering through the pain as she lied and said she didn't like him and it was a joke.
It was then that Mrs. Bury called everyone back into class and Olivia went inside slowly as the whispers told her that everyone in the class heard, and if they didn't, they were hearing about it now.
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She got off the bus that day and went straight to her room. She thought about all of the pain she went through. After hearing people whisper about it all day she felt the judgmental eyes on her. This wasn't the first time this had happened and this wasn't going to be the last.
She didn't cry anymore because this just happened too much anymore, boys laughing in her face as she tried to keep a good face and laugh it off. Or, girls pretending to be her friend just so they could get information off of her. She thought about how different people handled pain and cutting came to mind. One of her classmates joked about it once during class and suddenly it popped into her mind as a solution. She shivered at the thought of cutting her skin open to feel better, but the pain inside was like a monster that wanted out anyway it could.
She paced around her room and thought about her options. She could cut, but that sounded too gruesome. She could run away. She smiled when she thought about this. Running away sounded so perfect it almost made her laugh. She then frowned as she thought of where to go. Who would want to take her in? How would she get food?
She huffed more as the pain continued to grow and her anxiety grew as she didn't know how to handle it anymore. Her chest felt as though it was going to explode of pure pain and anger. She took her nails to her skin in a fit and dragged them up her arm, not breaking the skin, but enough to cause pain. She suddenly felt relief with each drag of the nail. It didn't really hurt, it felt warm, a warmth that engulfed her whole body. It was a comfort that she loved. It was the first time that the beast receded inside of her.
She didn't stop until her whole arm was engulfed in scratches and she felt nothing for once. She wasn't happy, nor was she sad. She just was.
She thought to herself that she would take anything but the pain she felt. She would do anything to stop the beast from engulfing her.
________________________________________
She leans against the green walls as she waits in line to get into class. She clutches her pink folders and supplies close to her body so no one would book her again. She stares at everyone in the hallway, chatting and smiling, it makes her squirm.
Erin slides up next to her and smiles.
"So I heard you like Casey!?" Erin practically yells in the hallway. She panics and quickly looks around, hoping no one heard. She contemplates what to say to her. Does she tell her yes? Does she say no? She wanted friends, and she thought maybe this was the way to it.
"Yes, I-I do" she said nervously, not realizing what she did. Erin was the biggest loudmouth in the school. She was the one person you should never tell anything to because she would never keep a secret, especially not for her.
"You should tell him", she said as she smiled devilishly, "he told me he likes you."
Her heart fluttered as she smiled big. She was so excited, now she would be popular because his friends would like her, she just knew it. She would meet all new people and they would get to know her, the real her.
"I'll so go tell him!" she yelled as she ran over to him in delight, not giving Olivia even a moment to protest.
"Olivia likes you!" she screamed so everyone could hear. Olivia walked over to him as she yelled, just in time to see the look of disgust on his face. He looked at her and told her that he would never like her because she was disgusting. Her shoulders slumped and she tried to keep her smile from faltering through the pain as she lied and said she didn't like him and it was a joke.
It was then that Mrs. Bury called everyone back into class and Olivia went inside slowly as the whispers told her that everyone in the class heard, and if they didn't, they were hearing about it now.
----------------------------
She got off the bus that day and went straight to her room. She thought about all of the pain she went through. After hearing people whisper about it all day she felt the judgmental eyes on her. This wasn't the first time this had happened and this wasn't going to be the last.
She didn't cry anymore because this just happened too much anymore, boys laughing in her face as she tried to keep a good face and laugh it off. Or, girls pretending to be her friend just so they could get information off of her. She thought about how different people handled pain and cutting came to mind. One of her classmates joked about it once during class and suddenly it popped into her mind as a solution. She shivered at the thought of cutting her skin open to feel better, but the pain inside was like a monster that wanted out anyway it could.
She paced around her room and thought about her options. She could cut, but that sounded too gruesome. She could run away. She smiled when she thought about this. Running away sounded so perfect it almost made her laugh. She then frowned as she thought of where to go. Who would want to take her in? How would she get food?
She huffed more as the pain continued to grow and her anxiety grew as she didn't know how to handle it anymore. Her chest felt as though it was going to explode of pure pain and anger. She took her nails to her skin in a fit and dragged them up her arm, not breaking the skin, but enough to cause pain. She suddenly felt relief with each drag of the nail. It didn't really hurt, it felt warm, a warmth that engulfed her whole body. It was a comfort that she loved. It was the first time that the beast receded inside of her.
She didn't stop until her whole arm was engulfed in scratches and she felt nothing for once. She wasn't happy, nor was she sad. She just was.
She thought to herself that she would take anything but the pain she felt. She would do anything to stop the beast from engulfing her.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hello Dears!This is my first chapter in 2 years almost! I'm excited to do this again~
Feedback?
<3 Em