Insanity

That night, I couldn't sleep. As delighted as I was to be one of the last fifty acts left in Bootcamp, there was still the daunting task of the final performance tomorrow.
Everyone had been given a sheet of paper that included twenty-five song choices. We had to pick one from the list and perform it that night. And not just in front of the judges, but also in front of an audience- consisting of four thousand people.
I felt sick.
I'd decided to look through the list a couple more times, circling a couple choices I thought would be best. There were a few I thought would be good for my voice from what I remembered of them, but there were also a couple of them that I knew by heart and knew I could own onstage. It would definitely come down to a last-minute decision, but I felt like the choice I made would hopefully be good enough to impress.
Lucie had decided to move her stuff into the room I shared with Stacey, as well, so now it was the three of us exchanging the paper back and forth to pick and ponder our song choices. The youngest of us had made her mind up almost right away, and as I was snacking on a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast, she sat on the bed next to me.
"Y'know," she started, showing me the paper. "I think this song might be the one for you." The brunette pointed to one she had underlined in red with my name written beside it in capital letters. Fortunately for me, it was one I had circled in consideration.
I pressed a finger to my mouth. "Think so?" I asked her. "I thought it might be a good choice, but... you really think I can do that one?"
Lucie nodded. "I know you can, Elise. From what I've heard you sing, this one is perfect for your voice."
She may have been six years younger than me, but I trusted her judgement. I took the marker and circled it boldly, putting a star by it. "Then this one it is."
The first day of performances came and went by with the snap of a finger, Lucie being the only one of us to go onstage. Stacey and I had snuck in through the doors in the audience area to watch and support her; luckily it was dark and no one could make us out.
As I heard her voice belt out the song word for word, I smiled and clapped vigorously as soon as she was finished. Lucie really was incredible. She deserved this opportunity so much, and I was willing to say that because it was true.
She'd ended up picking 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera.
Little did I know that one particular song would become a huge part of the upcoming competition. Not just for others, but for me, as well.

By day two of performances, there were only half of us left to try and impress the judges and the audience. Lucie still continued to accompany Stacey and myself to the arena, even though she was already finished with her song.
My nerves were coming back again, as they always did before a live performance. I couldn't stay still in my chair and wait around patiently like most of the others, so I ended up taking a walk around the back room, linking my fingers together and practicing little bits and pieces of my chosen song under my breath. I had to get this right.
"Elise, over here," a voice broke my reverie, and I looked around until I saw Jamie sitting at a chair by himself near the window. He'd pulled an extra one over by him, and was waving me over to where he was.
I shuffled over to my friend, sitting in the chair and crossing my legs. "How hard was it for you to choose a song?" I asked, my hands once more clasping together.
"Not too hard, but still a task," he responded, his knee bouncing up and down slightly. "Harder for you, I bet."
I nodded with a lopsided grin, which got him to laugh a little. "But I think I've got it down," I added. "Lucie helped me pick it."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, she actually kind of insisted on it."
I sat and talked with Jamie for about an hour and a half before his name was called to perform. "I wish you were able to come and see it," he almost sounded sad at the fact that I couldn't have a front-row seat like I did the first couple days.
"Don't worry about it too much," I responded, patting his shoulder. "You're gonna do great, even without me there."
He nodded in response to that, wrapping an arm around my back and pulling me to his side in a makeshift hug before going through the doors to the backstage area.
Little did he know that I remembered where the doors that Stacey and I had snuck in through to watch Lucie were. And I planned on sneaking through them again.
I pretty much had to run until I was out of breath to get there in time, but I'd made it just as he walked out to the center of the stage. He'd discarded the jacket and stood there in just his signature v-neck shirt and jeans.
The song he'd picked was U2's 'With Or Without You'. It was a pretty big song, but I had a feeling that he would completely make it his own. Before he started singing for real, I saw him look around with his eyes, scanning the entire arena. Was he looking for me...?
"See the stone set in your eyes, see the thorn twist in your side... and I wait for you..."
Like at his audition, the crowd already was clapping along and cheering for him. My smile grew as I watched him sing. This time was so much different than his first one. When singing 'Sex On Fire', he'd had a smile on his face the whole time. With this song, he looked so much more serious. As if he was putting much more emotion into it... like it almost meant something.
"With or without you, with or without you, my love, I can't live with or without you... And you give yourself away, and you give yourself away... and you give, and you give, and you give yourself away..."
I could feel that emotion.
"With or without you... with or without you, my love... I can't live, I can't live with or without you... oh, oh, without you, my love... with or without you..."
Again, Jamie had got the crowd singing right along with him, and I joined right in, hoping my voice was louder than everyone's for the sake of him hearing me. Once the song had died down to an end, everyone was on their feet, clapping, cheering, everything for him. With a grin once more on his face, he gave the judges a 'thank you' wave, then exited down the far aisle of the audience.
The aisle I was standing at the end of.
He obviously was able to see me when he got far up enough, and his long, walking strides transformed into a jog until he met me at the opened door, where he brought me into an embrace that lifted me off my toes. "What happened to not being there to see it?" he chuckled in my ear.
I simply smiled against his shirt, hugging him back. "I found a way."

Calming down at this rate wouldn't be easy. It was almost time for me to go onstage and perform in front of the judges and the crowd, and once again, I nearly called for a barf bag.
'Suck it up, Elise,' I reminded myself in frustration. 'This feeling is going to come and go pretty often now that you're here. You've gotta work with it and just go for it.'
I took one last deep breath, downed another gulp of a nearby water bottle, then made my way out and into the lights.
Danni smiled right away at the sight of me. "Hello again, Elise," she greeted me with a gentle tone.
I smiled sheepishly. "Hi Danni," I managed with a small wave.
"You excited, nervous?" Simon questioned.
Biting my lip, I answered, "Honestly, a little bit of both." I heard the crowd chuckle lightly in response.
Simon picked up the pen that rested by a cup of coffee. "So, what's the song you've chosen?"
"I'm gonna sing 'Feels Like Tonight' by Chris Daughtry," I tried to keep my grip on the microphone.
The judges all gave me a smile and the 'okay' to go, and unconsciously, I looked to the back of the arena where I saw a small line of light from the doorway. I could faintly make out Stacey's bright pink fingernails and Lucie's blue dress, but also someone else.
Standing next to them, eagerly awaiting my performance, was a familiar afro.
My stomach calmed down immensely, and I was able to open my mouth.
"You, you got me, thinking it'll be alright... you, you told me, 'come and take a look inside'... from the moment you came into my life, you showed me what's right..."
My eyes fluttered open and closed from time to time as I racked my brain for the proper emotions to bring to the song. I had to make this my best performance ever right now. Thankfully, it must've worked so far- the crowd was starting to cheer for me as I sang, quietly at first, but slowly growing in volume.
"And it feels like tonight... I can't believe I'm broken inside... can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do, but try to make it up to you, and it feels like tonight... tonight... "
I looked to the back where I knew he was standing.
"I never felt like this before, just when I leave, I'm back for more, nothing else here seems to matter... in these ever-changing days, you're the one thing that remains... I could stay like this forever..."
I hadn't even finished the song, and already, everyone was on their feet applauding me. It was unbelievable.
"And it feels like tonight... I can't believe I'm broken inside... can't you see that there's nothing that I wanna do, 'cept try to make it up to you, and it feels like tonight...'cause there's nothing that I'd rather do, than try to make it up to you, and it feels like tonight... tonight..."
The screams, the cheers, they were deafening. I couldn't help but smile as I made my way offstage and down the aisle towards the doors, which had since been opened by my 'fanbase'.
Stacey and Lucie jumped up and down when I came out. "Lucie told me everything; I knew that song was perfect for you!" Stacey shrieked happily, hugging one side of me while Lucie did to the other. Needless to say, they had their fair share of complimenting me.
But with Jamie, no words needed to be said. All he had to do was give me that blasted smile of his, and like he did earlier today, wrapped his arms around my waist and allowed me to stand on his shoes. I could feel that smile against my neck, which caused me to press my forehead to his shoulder. For that brief moment, I could close my eyes and finally, just breathe out a sigh.

Finally, the time had come. Fifty acts would be cut down to just twenty-four. Whoever made it would be going on to perform at the Judges' Houses, and whoever didn't impress them enough now... the journey was over.
They had started calling out names in small groups now, to hear whether they had a yes or a no.
"Alright everyone, the next group going onstage will be... Rikki Loney, Jamie Archer, Elise McCready, Nicole Johnson, and Despina Pilavakis."
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD-
I gave Stacey and Lucie one last, long bear hug- just in case- before walking over to Jamie, who was waiting for me by the door, and heading out next to him with everyone else.
Once we'd made it onstage, we lined up in a little row. I looked around at the three other people in our group, and noticed all of them did the same thing- their arms went behind their back, their shoulders tensed up, and they all let out a long, shaky breath.
"First of all, I just wanted to say thank you for coming to Bootcamp," Louis spoke to us. "This was not an easy decision at all, and I want you all to know that."
To my right, Jamie closed his eyes and looked to the floor. I scooted closer to where he stood, slowly weaving my fingers through his and giving his hand a squeeze. His eyes opened again as he locked them with mine. He squeezed my hand back. I swallowed.
This was it.
Louis's voice broke the silence.
"...You are all going to the Judges' Houses!"
We all erupted into shrieks and wide smiles. I screamed and fell to my knees, covering my mouth with my hands. Jamie did the same thing, although he managed to stay on his feet and walk in a circle, almost not daring to believe what he'd just heard. We were in the final twenty-four.
After we had filed out the doors into the main lobby, I couldn't help but fall to the floor again out of sheer disbelief. I was going to the Judges' Houses. I was one step closer to the chance of a lifetime. I was one step closer to my dream.
Footsteps reached my ears, and I was lifted off the ground, off of my feet. Two familiar arms were holding me tightly to his body, spinning around in circles as he laughed delightfully into my ear. I let out an elated shriek, returning Jamie's embrace whole-heartedly with a laugh of my own. It took a while before he set me down on the floor, but he still didn't let go. And when he pressed his lips to my cheek, I could've turned twenty shades of pink.
My moment was interrupted by a screaming Stacey and Lucie, who once again, tackled me to the floor. Not that I minded too much, though. My friends and I were all still in the competition. We were all still together.

The fated moment then came for us to split into our separate groups and find out who would be mentoring us for the rest of the show. Unfortunately for me, I was still young enough to be placed in the Girls category, while Jamie was placed in the Over 25's.
"You'd better tell me who you get as your judge, okay?" I joked with him, my hands on his shoulders.
"Only if you do the same for me," he replied, pulling me into one last hug before we separated into the groups. Though, before he let go of my waist, I thought I'd felt him slip his hand in the pocket of my sweater.
I'd check later.
Myself, along with Stacey and Lucie, were joined by three other girls- Despina, Nicole, and another girl named Stacey, though she had dark brown hair instead of the dirty blonde my Stacey had.
The six of us held hands as a group, all standing in a row, waiting to see which judge would emerge through the doors as our future coach and mentor.
"Who do you hope it is?" Nicole asked, leaning over to gaze at all of us.
Despina chuckled. "Oh god, anyone but Simon," she joked. We all broke out in giggles. Personally, I didn't mind either way who we got. They would all be out for our best interests now, and all saw something in us that said to us that we could be potential stars. We couldn't let them down. None of us.
A creaking of the door reached my ears. Our grips on each other's hands tightened.
The doors were pulled open backwards...
...and in the way, emerged a smiling Danni Minogue.
OH HELL YES!
Today seemed to be the appropriate day for screaming, as we all did so at the same time, dashing in a hurry over to our new mentor and pulling her to all of us in a welcoming group hug. In my opinion, I actually thought Danni would be the best one for us. She was kind, yet serious, and always wanted us to do our best and give it our all. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
"There seems to be some strong categories this year," she told us with a grin, "But I believe that this is the group where someone is going to win The X Factor."
She took all of our hands and piled them on top of each other's. "Now, promise me that each of you is going to visualize yourself on that stage, winning this competition," her smile never left her face. "Can you do that for me, girls?"
We all simultaneously agreed with a matching smile and yet another scream of delight, clapping and jumping up and down.
The competition had only just begun.

Back in the room, Stacey and Lucie had already fallen asleep, while I turned back and forth in my bed, trying to do the same. For some reason, however, I couldn't seem to do so.
Then I remembered- my sweater.
Doing my best not to wake up my two friends, I tip-toed over to my suitcase, fiddling around in the pockets of the clothing article I had been wearing not too long ago before I'd taken it off for bed, trying to see if I could find-
My fingers grazed something.
I pulled out a tiny slip of paper, folded into quarters. Pulling it open, I smiled widely at what I saw, heading back over to my bed and picking my phone off the nightstand. I fiddled with it for just a few seconds before turning it off for the night. Soon after, I was finally able to fall asleep, my smile still spreading ear to ear.

The note had read,
"Call me - 01254 545652. Jx"