If Life Would Always Go As Planned, Wouldn't It Be Boring?

Chapter 9: I Should Come Over At, Like, Eleven?!

*Gerard P.O.V.*

Frank’s voice sounds quite different through the phone and so I just have to make sure it’s actually him and not somebody else.

“Yeah it’s Frank. Gerard?” He asks and I let out the breath I was holding unintentionally. I nod and then realize that he can’t see me. Great start Gerard!

“Um yeah hi it’s me.” There’s an awkward silence, in which none of us know what to say. Then I have an idea that’s actually a really lame conversation starter. “So how’s your evening going?”

“Hm…I guess it’s going kinda ok. No food in the house and had to order stuff. I’m currently watching a horror film so I guess it’s just another normal evening. What about you?” Frank asks me. I think for a moment and look at Mikey helplessly, who’s reading a book on the couch. He notices my stare and looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. I glare at him and then feel the pressure to actually say something.

“Um I was working”, I reply and can literally hear the surprise in his voice as he says:

“You’re still working? What the hell are you working on?” I scratch my head and mess up my hair.

“I’m working on my own comic. It’s going really shitty though and had an, erm, bad start.”

“Oh that’s awesome! I love comics!” Frank says in a slightly high voice. “But why isn’t it coming along well?” I let out a sigh. Should I tell him? I mean I’ve been sober for like a year and haven’t taken any drugs or haven’t had even one beer. I decide to be completely honest with him from the beginning, ‘cause I have this feeling that if I won’t tell him it’ll be a massive mistake. I have a feeling that this with Frank will work out and that he could be the final piece to complete the jigsaw that is my broken soul. I take a deep breath and begin to talk:

“So um I’ve actually really fucked up in the past years…” I glance sideways at Mikey, who looks at me, a surprised look on his features- I’ve never been so open to a person I had just met. I wait for Frank to say something, but he doesn’t and so I carry on, hoping that Frank would not judge me.
“So um Frank…I-I used to be an alcoholic and drug addict”, I finally say quietly. I can hear him swallow hard.

“Man Gerard…uh…I dunno what to say…” Frank mumbled and there’s a pause in which I count the beats of my loudly thudding heart. Frank didn’t say anything and I get more anxious with every second that passes.

“Frank?” I finally ask insecurely.

“Yeah yeah I’m still there! Sorry for not saying anything…that just really caught me ice-cold…man I’m so sorry.” I laugh softly.

“No problem. Sorry for shocking you…I just wanted to be honest.”

“Oh…okay. So you wanna talk about it?” He sounds confused. I’m not sure if I want to talk to him on the phone about it.

“I don’t know if the phone is the appropriate way of talking about it…” I mutter and bite my lip.

“You wanna come over to talk?” Frank asks and this catches me by utter surprise.

“You’re inviting me over at like eleven in the evening?” I ask doubtfully.

“Um yeah…dunno”, Frank said quietly. I smile.

“Man you serious? Where’d you live?” I ask and feel way more confident than I normally do.

“You really wanna come over?!” I can hear that he doesn’t really believe me.

“You’re withdrawing your offer? That’s not very nice…” I pout, but I know that he wouldn’t actually withdraw his offer.

“No, no, no! I just wasn’t expecting you to actually wanna come...”

“Surprise, surprise.” Frank laughs and it’s literally one of the cutest sounds I’ve ever heard.

“Yeah surprise…I live like two blocks away from my parlor. So you need to get off at this subway stop and then walk past my parlor and just straight onwards until you reach a café called “Cemetery Drive”. There you turn right into this fucking smelly alley and the door with the massive dick on it is the door to the apartment house. Then just press the button that says "Iero" on it and I'll come down to open the door cause nothing fucking works in this house. It'll take about ten minutes from the parlor." I scratch the back of my head and rewind the directions- I think I've got em nailed.

"Kay thanks I'll be there in like 30 minutes. See ya."

"Yeah bye and don't get robbed or something stupid..." Frank said with slight concern in his voice. I laugh and reassure him:

"No worry, I've got a taser and a pocket knife with me all the time, so the burglar will be fucked if he messes with me." Mikey's laughing his tits off and I glare at him.

"Cool man. Bye then", Frank repeats.

"Bye Frank." Then I end the call and turn to face my damn brother. "What the fuck?!" I demand and glare.

"Haha dude you're trying to man up for Frank or what...as if you'd taser a burglar instead of panicking", Mikey chuckles and wipes the tears from his eyes.

"Fuck you", I hiss in an attempt to sound pissed and then I get up and look into a mirror: a pale face framed by messy raven hair with hazel eyes and dark rings underneath, pink lips and a pixie nose looks back at me. I notice the excitement that lingers in my eyes and smile.

"Gee, stop looking at the mirror!" Mikey shouts, "you look amazing and if I was Frank, I'd fuck you immediately!" I turn my head slowly and look at Mikes.

"Somehow, this sounded very disturbing from the mouth of my little brother..." I remark and raise an eyebrow. Mikey chuckles again and then basically motioned me to fuck off. I roll my eyes at him and grab my bag. I quickly pull on some sneakers, grab my leatherjacket and yell a "Bye Mikes!". Mikey responds by yelling back:

"Yeah see ya tomorrow! Good luck with Frank."

"Thanks!" I shout back and then leave the apartment.

I walk past the Nightmare Tattoo Parlor at 11.30 p.m. The streets in New York never rest, in the city that never sleeps cars are driving past me and the biting stench of the fumes bites in my lungs, even though I’m a chain-smoker and my lung is used to being tortured. By the way, I could really do with a cigarette. I rummage through my bag and find a battered pack that contains only one more cigarette. Great. I light my last one with my super cool “I Like Dick” zippo Lin gave me for my last birthday and take a long drag. I feel the hot smoke spread in my lungs, filling them with this poisonous drug. Honestly, I don’t give a shit if people say “it’s bad for you”. I walk on and while I smoke up my cigarette, I have to think about how Frank had hollowed his cheeks slightly while taking a drag and how the grey smoke had left his parted lips moments later, disappearing into the sky. He hollows his cheeks just like when giving a blow jo- Urgh stop it Frank, I think and blush at the obscenity of my thoughts and how I connect smoking with a blow job. Or is it only because of this little fucker? Absently, I tag a last drag and immediately feel my fingers holding the cigarette sting painfully. “Ouch…” I mumble and look at the glowing stub between my fingers. Haha my fucking cigarette burned me. I throw the stub onto the street and march onwards in the friggin’ cold of the night. I look closely at the shops on my side on the street to be sure to not miss the café. However, life ain’t fair and so I trip over a drain cover and while I look down and try to get my balance back, I stumble into a person.

“Fuck”, I mutter and look up at the person I collided with. To my luck, it’s a 6ft 6 person, all muscles and manly (can you hear my sarcasm?). The fucking giant looks down on me and I get ready for a fist connecting with my jaw. I wait a few seconds and then a few seconds more. Nothing happens. I look at him expectantly.

“You okay buddy?” He suddenly asks me with a deep and raspy voice. What?

“Huh? Um, I guess I’m okay”, I reply warily, not trusting the kindness. The guy smiles at me kindly.

“Gotta be more careful and watch where you’re going”, he advises me kindly and then carries on walking without beating me. I can only stare after him dumbly. What the hell? I mean yeah sure I’m really glad and stuff, but this was really unexpected…I think I can say that some of my faith in bulky guys has been restored- there are actually nice muscly guys. I grin and carry on walking, spotting the café “Cemetery Drive” a few stops on. And just like Frank had said, a dark alley on the right leads into semi-darkness only illuminated by a dirty street lamp. If Frank hadn't told me he lives there, I would have never even considered going into this scary alley...damn. I shrug my shoulders; no risk, no fun. You get me? I step out of the streetlights and into the- man it smells really badly- alley and walk the few steps to a faintly light door that was smeared with graffiti and a huge dick. I grin crookedly and scan the name tags next to the doorbell buttons. I spot "Iero" and without leaving myself the chance to hesitate, I press the door bell and wait. Soon the door opens and Frank stands in the doorway, dressed in a Black Flag shirt and black sweatpants. He grins shyly at me and says:

"Hi Gerard. Come in and be prepared to walk three flights of stairs..."

"Seriously Frank?" I ask and cringe at the thought of having to exercise in the middle of night. Not that I liked exercising at any time of the day, but I seem to be in an even worse shape at night. Frank nods apologetically and closes the door. I sigh and start up the stairs. We haven't even reached the second floor and I've had it already. "It's not really...elderly people...friendly..." I pant and Frank laughs.

"I guess not", he replies not even out of breath, "but it's kind of an old factory building so each story's higher than usual. And the stairs are fuckin high as well..." Finally Frank also has to take a deep breath.

"Asshole architects..." I mutter as we reach the next floor and no other flight of stairs goes higher. "Made it?" I ask and Frank nods. He quickly unlocks the door to the apartment on the left. The lights are still switched on and I hear the mumbling of the TV.

"Come in. It's small and shitty but feel yourself at home", Frank says and motions me to step in.

He kicks off his flip-flops into a corner and I do the same with my sneakers. I then hang my jacket on one of the hooks and follow Frank into the living room-kitchen combination. The walls are white and there's a large clock decorated with superheroes- awesome. The kitchen is small and the remnants of the dinner are spread, but it's perfectly sufficient. My gaze wanders on and passes an old, battered black couch, a small TV, a modern stereo system, a loaded bookshelf made from stacked bricks with boards between them and a large window with a beautiful view of the night sky. There are two more doors leading into other rooms.

"Man it's awesome in here!" I sigh contently and look at Frank who's shifting uncomfortably. He scratches his neck and mumbles:

"Um thanks... Just dump your stuff somewhere and take a seat. Do you want something to drink? Unfortunately there are limited options only that include water and tea. Whatchya prefer?" I think for a moment.

"Water please." Frank nods and while I sit down awkwardly onto the couch, he fills two glasses with water. He carries them over and carefully takes a seat on the couch facing me. I feel myself blush from his gaze and look down onto my bag. There's an uncomfortable silence until Frank notices that he's still holding both glasses.

"Man where's my mind...?" He says and laughs slightly. "Here you go." I take the water glass and thankfully take a long drink- my throat feels like Death Valley.

"Thanks Frank", I say and smile slightly. Even though I'm definitely the older one, I'm more awkward and insecure and that's really shitty.

"So you still wanna talk or should we just watch a movie?" Frank asks hopefully. I'm still not 100% sure if I should tell him everything, ‘cause I don't want him to hate me.

"Promise me you won't judge me, promise!" I say and I guess I may have sounded creepy because Frank gives me a weird look and then nods.

"I promise Gerard." I sigh relieved.

"Kay sorry if I'm weird..."

"No man weird's cool." Frank simply waves it off and smiles at me reassuringly. How did I get the attention of such a handsome guy?

"So yeah I work for Cartoon Network, my comic wasn't making good progress and when I saw...when I saw 9/11 everything changed. I started to realize that what I'm doing really isn't worth that much. And after that realization I went spiraling downwards and I was, um, depressed and started drinking. I didn't want anybody of my family and friends to notice my increasing problems so I moved away from Jersey to here. I wanted to actually start new, but the alcohol just kept calling me and the days on which I was sober decreased.

“One morning, I came fucking hung over and still drunk to a really important meeting, I was late as well, and my boss just had it then. He sent me home on an "indefinite break from work" in which I would have the time to get my shit together. Back then I didn't even realize how glad I should've been that I wasn't fired. The depression and drinking got even worse and I was totally out day and night, even seriously thinking about suicide. Mikey, my little brother, noticed and moved in. I didn't want that, but he wouldn't take my bitching and even worse, he threw every single fucking alcoholic drink outside the window. My drugs he flushed down the toilet. Man I was so fucking mad and I don't know what I would've done if I wouldn't have passed out. Mikey got me to the hospital and I stayed there for a week or so. Then Mike convinced me to go to therapy. I met Lindsay and everything went back up. It took me only 17 days to get completely sober, but to actually be fine again takes way longer. I started working from home 4 months after my boss had sent me on vacation. So yeah that's why my comic isn't coming along well."

I finish talking and take another long drink while looking intently at Frank. He suddenly surges forward and hugs me out of nowhere. At first I'm too surprised to hug him back, but after a few moments I wrap my arms about his slim body and hug him closely, burying my face into the crook of his neck. Hm, he smells really good. I can't remember when I last trusted a person this blindly, spilling my story to them. Even Lindsay had to extract every single thing from me with massive effort. What are you doing to me, Frank Iero? And why is this warm feeling spreading in my body?