As They See It
Chapter Four
I think I have a crush on my delinquent. Well, had a crush on my delinquent. When I was little. I used to watch all of my classmates from the outskirts of the playground when I was little because nobody wanted to play with me, but I always wound up watching this one kid, a werewolf like Luka, and just feeling like I wanted to kiss him.
And I guess that maybe I have a crush on him now too. I’m not sure if that’s allowed in this program, crushing on your mentee, so nothing can come of him until I try and probably fail to get him through his senior year of high school. I guess I shouldn’t say that but all the other mentors who have done this before constantly complain about how they’ve never been successful.
Is it weird that I sort of feel like he’s going to get through it, though? Something about him feels like… I don’t know. Responsible? Maybe? Or caring? I really hope he does make it through at least for as long as it takes me to figure him out. And maybe we can become friends. He did help me with those books, though it made me feel kind of foolish. Vampires are supposed to be strong but I feed so irregularly that I’ve hardly grown since I realized that taking someone’s lifeforce out of them by reading their mind is sort of wrong.
Would it be wrong to read Luka’s mind?
Probably. But what if I did? He would never have to know, and maybe it would clear up my confusion. Or add to it. Or at least give me something to do with myself once I’ve finished studying. Books are a lot easier to understand than people, usually, but maybe that’s because books let you know what’s on their mind. If I really needed to know what Luka was thinking I could find out. Maybe I should, if only to see how he feels about my lessons, and to see if I can change them to be better for him. Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll use his thoughts to better suit his learning, that’s all. I shouldn’t tell him because then he’ll probably feel bad and pretend he likes the lessons in his head or something.
I confused myself. It’s bed time. Good night.
And I guess that maybe I have a crush on him now too. I’m not sure if that’s allowed in this program, crushing on your mentee, so nothing can come of him until I try and probably fail to get him through his senior year of high school. I guess I shouldn’t say that but all the other mentors who have done this before constantly complain about how they’ve never been successful.
Is it weird that I sort of feel like he’s going to get through it, though? Something about him feels like… I don’t know. Responsible? Maybe? Or caring? I really hope he does make it through at least for as long as it takes me to figure him out. And maybe we can become friends. He did help me with those books, though it made me feel kind of foolish. Vampires are supposed to be strong but I feed so irregularly that I’ve hardly grown since I realized that taking someone’s lifeforce out of them by reading their mind is sort of wrong.
Would it be wrong to read Luka’s mind?
Probably. But what if I did? He would never have to know, and maybe it would clear up my confusion. Or add to it. Or at least give me something to do with myself once I’ve finished studying. Books are a lot easier to understand than people, usually, but maybe that’s because books let you know what’s on their mind. If I really needed to know what Luka was thinking I could find out. Maybe I should, if only to see how he feels about my lessons, and to see if I can change them to be better for him. Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll use his thoughts to better suit his learning, that’s all. I shouldn’t tell him because then he’ll probably feel bad and pretend he likes the lessons in his head or something.
I confused myself. It’s bed time. Good night.