Heartkiller

December 31, 2007

Meanwhile, just as New Year's approached, Avery was a wreck. As it turned out, she had been able to complete her responsibilities before the holidays and would've been able to visit Ville. Not anymore. Now that she had the time to acknowledge the break-up, it hit her hard. After finishing up at work following the trial, she stopped by the liquor store to stock up before heading home. She hadn't had any alcohol in almost eight months, having quit to help Ville stay sober and to refrain from tempting him.

She didn't have that stopping her anymore, and Avery fully intended on bringing alcohol back into her life in full swing. She got a bottle of Jameson and Bacardi and returned home. As soon as she walked through the door, her heels came off on her way to the kitchen for shot glasses. She grabbed a pint of ice cream from the freezer as well.

Avery set the things on the coffee table and put in a copy of Razorblade Romance into the stereo on shuffle, letting the opening chords of "I Love You (Prelude to Tragedy)" reverberate throughout the bare apartment. Her heart ached to hear his voice. It had been too long. She sat on the couch and took a two shots of Jameson; she didn't see the need for a chaser, welcoming the familiar burning sensation as the liquid travelled down her throat. She slouched in her seat and listened to the music while scarfing down her ice cream.

Forty-five minutes and 8 songs later, she was pretty buzzed. Since she hadn't eaten much dinner, the alcohol hit her bloodstream rather quickly. The song changed to Poison Girl, one of her favorites off the album.

"A prey she waaaaaaas, for the crueltyyyy of love, while its serpents inside crawled straight towards her heaaart." She dramatically sang along.

At the words "towards her heart," she flicked the spoon of ice cream in front of her, wielding it like a sword.

"The coldest kiiiiiiiss, love ceased to exist, while we grew apart like never befoooooree." She sang.
Her mood had been light and playful, but the lyrics hit a sore spot. Her arm dropped to her side, and her gaze dropped low. Avery bit her lip.

"You're right. We have been growing apart, my darling. Not my fault. Not my fault at all. I have a job, you have a job. We have places to go and people to see. Money to make. You know? You know, baby? That's all it was. That's all it was. Our love didn't cease to desist." She laughed to herself. "I mean, exist. It didn't cease to exist. Sorry, too much lawyer time. I can't cease and desist love."

She let out a chortle. In this alcohol-induced loopy state, she was cracking herself up and masking the pain she felt. There was a knock at the door, startling her.

“Oh, someone’s here. Let's go see who it is."

She stood up, taking a moment to steady herself. She walked to the door, ice cream in hand; she ate a few spoonfuls before finally answering the door.

"Hiiiii, Paige. Nice to see you, my darling!" She exclaimed with open arms, taking her into a hug.

"Um, hi… Ave… why? What happened? Have you been drinking?" She asked, very confused by her unusually chipper demeanor. Avery's eyes glazed over.

"You know, it's nothing. It's no big deal." She dismissed.

Paige let herself inside, closing the door behind he, as Avery walked to the couch. She had come by to drop off a box of files but was concerned by the strange behavior of her boss and good friend.

"Are you sure? You're not usually like this." Paige asked.

Avery peered back at her assistant, looking like a mischievous little child with a grin plastered across her face.

"You don't know that." Her smile faded when she saw the box. “What’s that?”

"The subpoena came through on the Felder case so they sent over the… you know, I’ll just put these things in your study.” she informed.

Paige went down the hallway and let herself into the study. She had been to Avery’s apartment on numerous occasions and had seen her outside of a professional setting. Never had Paige witnessed her behaving as she was now. It was quite alarming. When she got back to the living room, she saw the bottles on the table and she was surprised.

“...Jameson and Bacardi? That's way too much alcohol for you!" she berated.

"Is that a challenge? ‘Cause I bet I can drink the whole thing all by myself."

"No, I think we're done drinking for the night. Let's put these things away, alright?" Paige coddled Avery.

Avery pouted. "I don't wanna."

"Here, how about this? You tell me what's going on and then I'll drink with you. It'll be fun!" Paige played along in order to assess the situation.

"Can we, can we, can we get pizza? ‘Cause I'm starving!" She grabbed her stomach for emphasis.

"Of course."

Paige pulled her cellphone out and called the usual restaurant where Avery gets her pizza to place an order. Trying to do so while keeping the alcohol away from Avery was a challenge. She was the kind of drunk who, once she started, wanted to keep the high going by continuing to drink more under the false assumption that the alcohol was going to leave her system as quickly as it had entered. Avery showed no restraint and wanted to drink herself into oblivion to free herself of everything she felt from the breakup.

"Alright, pizza should be here soon.” Paige said, hanging up the phone and turning to Avery. “Now what's the problem? Why are you drinking?"

"This is a hard question. Maybe I need some help remembering. Give me some of the memory potion," she rambled.

She pointed to the alcohol bottle on the table and made grabbing gestures for it like a child in a highchair when the alcohol was clearly within her reach. Paige sat down next to her and looked at her. Avery was slouched on the couch and was still dressed in the pantsuit she had worn to work today. Her hair was left in a messy bun at the top of her head and her makeup was starting to run from the tears she had spilled earlier. Her physical appearance and her lively attitude didn’t seem to match.

"Avery..." Paige started in a warning tone.

If Avery was going to act like a child, then she would be treated as such. The smile left her face and the cheerful temperament disappeared with it.

"Okay, okay.” she huffed. “...Ville and I broke up. It was two weeks ago, actually. I was in the middle of preparing for the Berkman case, so I couldn't do anything then. I couldn’t let it affect me, but now I don’t have court or paperwork to worry about.”

“Oh…” Paige sighed, not knowing what to say at first. “Look, I know that can be difficult but drinking isn’t the solution. That’s not going to get you anywhere.”

“Can we pretend like it does though?”

“What happened exactly?”

Avery breathed a sigh and leaned back against the couch. At the tone of the conversation, she sobered up pretty quickly.

"He called while I was working and super stressed out. I said some pretty horrible, inexcusable things, and he didn't want to deal with me anymore. I can't blame him though. I did this to myself."

"I'm really sorry about how things played out."

"Not your fault.”

The pizza arrived, and Paige went to get it. She paid, and Avery promised to pay her back when the room didn’t seem to be spinning quite as much as it was. The music had ended, and Paige set the pizza box on the coffee table. Avery had calmed considerably, but Paige took the alcohol away just in case. They talked to fill the silence between the bites of food they ate.

“So what now?” Paige asked.

“Now? Now… I don’t know. He said he was going to come by to pick up his stuff once he’s done with his tour, which means I have around two weeks, I think. Hopefully I can find some excuse to stay late at work, and he’ll drop by and get his stuff when I’m not home.”

“You don’t want to see him?”

“I don’t think I could stay composed if I saw him again. I’d rather make it a clean break, I guess. If I saw him again, I--I don’t know, I’d probably start crying and beg him to take me back, which would be embarrassing. No, no, it would be easier for everybody if I just stayed out of the way. I’ll probably have to keep his stuff ready for him to pick up.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

Avery smiled at her kindness. “No, that’s okay. It’s mainly scarves and things that I’ve stolen to remind me of him when he’s away. It’s not much. Thank you, though. I think I… you know, I need to pick up the pieces of my relationship on my own. Maybe I’m just not meant to be with somebody. You know how people say that not everybody is meant for college? Maybe… maybe some people are meant to be alone. Lord knows I screw everything up.”

“No, you don’t. You’re a great attorney, you’re a good friend. Don’t say that. I’m sure things will work out for you.” Paige consoled.

“Thanks… how do you and Russell work it out? You guys have been together for so long. Maybe I could learn a thing or two about keeping a guy around from you two.”

“Hahha, thanks. Yeah, we’ve been married for a little over a decade now, but you know… we have our own issues.”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that he’s not around for the holidays this year. He left after Christmas to go to Europe to look at some new prototype for some… some gizmo, I don’t even know.” Paige said, annoyed.

“I’m sorry.” Avery whispered.

“It’s okay. Anyway, the point is that not everybody is perfect. Somebody will come around for you, I just know it. A woman as clever as you deserves a man to make her happy.”

She smiled. "Paige… thank you for this. You've been my assistant for like two years, but you're also one of my good friends. I don’t know what I can do to repay you for everything you’ve done for me. You’re always there. "

She turned to look at Avery. "You're welcome. Anytime. I didn't have any plans for New Year's Eve anyway."

"Oh my God, I completely forgot that's today." She said, slapping herself on her forehead. "What are you even doing working today? Why did you come by to drop that stuff off?"

"I knew it was urgent." she shrugged.

"I don't think you get paid nearly enough of what you deserve. Holy shit."

"It's plenty." She assured with a laugh.

She stood up to throw the pizza boxes away, and Avery settled into her seat some more. Her mind wandered to think about the relationship Paige had with Russell. Would she ever have something like that? Was there a person on this Earth willing to give their heart and soul to a woman like Avery? She quickly realized that the only person she wanted half a chance with again was with Ville. Her eyes weren’t set on anyone else. She had realized the mistakes she had made in her last conversation with him soon after hanging up. She was sorry. Avery was beyond remorseful for her actions, but she didn’t think she could ever tell him all this without falling apart at the very sight of his handsome face. She missed Ville so dearly, but he was gone from her life now.

Paige returned to the couch, and Avery’s cellphone rang. It was stuck somewhere between the couch cushions, but Avery was able to fish it out.

“Yellow.” she answered.

“Hey, bitch.”

“Bam-Bam! Hi!”

“Wow. You sound pretty excited.”

“May or may not have had some alcohol.” Avery admitted.

“Oh, good. I was wondering if you wanted to come hang with me and the boys tonight. We came up to New York to see the fucking ball drop tonight for New Year’s, although I have a feeling that’s not gonna happen. We’re probably going to end up in a ditch somewhere.”

“Oooh, that sounds fun! Yes, I wanna come!” she exclaimed. "Come up to my apartment. You know the address, right?"

"Yeah, we should be there soon."

"K, see you." She hung up the phone and turned to Paige. "You said you don't have plans, right? Do you wanna hang out with a couple of my friends? Celebrate New Year's properly?"

Paige looked down at her outfit. "I don't think-"

"You can borrow something of mine. You said it yourself that you didn’t have any plans, and Russell is out of town anyway. Don’t ring in the new year all by yourself. You're coming." She smiled. "C'Mon, let's go get dressed."

She took Paige’s hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. Avery swayed from side to side and giggled on the way with Paige urging her playfully to slow down.They went to Avery's closet. Although most of it was professional attire, there was a small collection of party wear. Avery pulled out a champagne chiffon cocktail dress for Paige and an mint glitter crop top and black leather shorts for herself. Avery gave Paige some privacy in the bedroom so that she could change; after changing in the bathroom, Avery retouched her makeup. She added some deeper colors into her eyeshadow to increase the drama. Her hair was in waves, and she ran her hands through it a few times to make it appear tousled and effortless. Just as she finished up, the doorbell rang and she went to answer it.

“HEY!” the group of boys greeted.

“Hi everybody!” Avery replied.

Paige came out after she finished changing, and Avery introduced her to the guys.

“Guys, this is my friend Paige. Paige, this is everybody. Bam, Raab, Novak, Dunn, Dico, and Rake… oh, and Missy.”

Missy walked through the door and closed it behind her. Paige waved a hello, but she seemed a little frazzled.

“Their names aren’t the strangest thing about them. Trust me.” Missy joked.

“You look good, Ave.” Bam said. “You both do.”

“Thanks. Let’s take a few shots and head out?” Avery suggested.

“Yeah.”

They sat on the couches, and Avery brought over the shot glasses and set them on the coffee table, along with the liquor. She leaned to pour the shots, her shirt lowered to give everyone a peek of her bare chest. The boys obviously noticed.

“Close your mouths, boys. Villa will kick your ass if he finds you checking out his girl.” Bam warned.

At Ville’s name, Avery became flustered and her hand faltered, accidentally spilling some of the alcohol.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

She finished pouring shots and everybody took a glass in hand.

“To a grand new year.” Bam toasted.

“Hopefully one without injuries.” Missy added.

“Ha, like that’s gonna happen.” Novak said and everybody burst into laughter.

“A girl can dream.” Missy replied and shrugged her shoulders.

“Let’s drink already.” Dunn said.

“Alright, alright.”

The glasses clinked as everybody toasted. Once they finished the shot, they took one more before heading out. The crew was a drunken mess and clambered down the hallway noisily. It was a large group and they all packed into the elevator.

“Alright, where are we off to?” Paige asked once they reached the street.

“Somewhere within walking distance. Traffic is a bitch and a half right now. It took us forever to get here in the fucking stretch limo.” Raab complained.

“Yeah, and my silk shirt is too soft, my wallet is too small for my 50s, and my diamond shoes are too tight.” Rake mocked sarcastically.

“There’s a bar a block or two over, if you wanna go there.” Avery suggested, ignoring Rake’s comment.

“As long as there’s alcohol, that’s all that matters.” Novak said.

“Kind of implied by the word ‘bar’, don’t you think?” Dico said.

“Shut up!” Novak replied.

With the large group of people and New York’s crowded streets, it took longer than it should have to get to the bar. The boys also took the time to throw Novak into one of the large trash cans on the sidewalks, and he chased after them with his pants threatening to fall down. When they reached the bar, they ordered a round of beers and the bartender handed them the bottles. The place had a decent crowd and the boys disappeared in it, no doubt causing a ruckus; Avery was left at the barstools with Bam, who had Missy wrapped in his arms.

“Oh my God, let me see that ring!” Avery exclaimed, taking Missy’s left hand in hers to better examine the engagement ring. “Damn… Bam, you did well. This is gorgeous.”

“Hahha, yeah, he did.” Missy agreed.

“How was Dubai? I didn’t see you guys after the wedding.”

“It was amazing.”

“I don’t really remember much of it. I spent most of my time indoors with this one.” Bam replied playfully, pulling Missy in for a kiss.

“What about you? Anything on the horizon for you and Ville?” Missy asked.

Avery’s smile disappeared and she brought her eyes to the floor in shame. “No, we, uh… we actually broke up a couple weeks ago.”

“What? Why?” Bam asked in shock.

“I, um, I couldn’t give him what he needed.” she said uneasily.

“...Sex?” Missy smacked Bam’s chest at his comment. “I’m just saying! You guys were like inseparable whenever you were around each other, I don’t get it. When did this happen?”

“A couple weeks before Christmas. I couldn’t really get out to visit him very often, and he was on tour so we didn’t see much of each other. I’ve been really swamped lately at work; since it’s the end of the year, there’s like closing formalities and things to take care of on top of the regular workload… I didn’t really have time for him. He took that as me implying that I didn’t care about our relationship, and we fought and… well, here we are.”

“That’s not fair. He’s working, too. He has just as much going on as you do.” Missy defended.

“Thanks, but… still. I should have made more of an effort to fly out and see him, call even. And then when he called to talk about New Year’s, I sort of went off on him and said some pretty nasty things that I shouldn’t have.” Avery swirled the remnants of her beer around in the bottle and drank it. “I never deserved him.”

“What are you talking about? You’re like the best thing that’s happened to him.” Bam said. “I would know; I’ve been around him for quite a while. You’re like the first good girlfriend he’s ever had. Did he tell you about the last one? My God, Jonna was a nightmare.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Bam.”

Avery signaled the bartender to bring her another beer and he did.

“So you didn’t do anything afterwards? Call him back and try to fix things or anything?” Missy asked.

“I couldn’t. When one person wants to break up, you break up. I didn’t think I could say anything to change his mind.” She gulped down the beer, nearly finishing the new bottle.

“But you’re a lawyer.” Bam’s Philly accent was strong. “It’s your job to change people’s minds.”

Avery shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t have anything useful to say: he was right. She should’ve said something to fight for her relationship.

“So what now?”

“Now… I don’t know. I’m single. That’s about it.” She finished her beer and called for another one. She was going through the bottles like they were filled with water.

“I’m really sorry.” Missy said.

“Yeah, me too.” Bam agreed.

“It sucks to have to ring in the new year like this.”

“Yeah, it does.” Ave said, her mouth drawn into a tight line. Yearning to change the subject, she asked, “Where did the boys go? I don’t want to get banned from this place ‘cause of what they’re doing.”

“I don’t know, let’s go see.” Bam said.

The threesome started to walk away and into the crowd when someone stopped Avery.

“Hey, miss,” he called.

Avery turned to face a man who looked to be in his late thirties; his breath reeked of alcohol.

“I heard you’re single. What do ya say we go in the back and do a little -”

“Hey, back off, man.” Bam interrupted, seeing where this was going.

“Hey, I’s talking to ha, who called you?” he slurred.

“Bam, it’s okay, I’ll handle it.” Avery said and gently pushed his chest away. He backed off.

“Yuh heard the lady, she’ll handle it.”

Avery rolled her eyes and started to walk away, but he called after her.

“Ey, pretty young thang, I got something in my pants that I think you should handle.”

Before Bam could do anything, Avery’s hand curled into a fist and she hit the guy square. With everything that had happened over the past few weeks, that was the last thing she wanted to hear, and it struck a nerve. Because of the number of people packed in the bar, nobody noticed what she had done and the guy whimpered away.

“Damn, that’s gonna bruise.” Bam commented.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go. We’ll go somewhere else.” Bam pulled her away and into the crowd. “You should have let me handle it. Aren’t you worried he’s gonna do something?”

“What? Like press charges?” Avery scoffed. “Bam, he just got punched by a girl. I think his ego is too bruised for him to report it to the police. What is he going to say? ‘Uh, this drunk girl punched me.’ Yeah, right. He’ll get laughed away.”

“If you say so.”

She had been holding her alcohol pretty well until this point. Since she was continuously drinking, she didn’t have the chance to notice the effect of the alcohol. Now that she had stopped, it hit her all at once. Hard. She was six shots and three beers deep, but Avery didn't stop there for the night. She greeted the new year blacked out drunk. The recent events--breakup, re-hash of said breakup, douche hitting on her--were compounded and she drank the emotions away, knowing she had New Year's Day off.

January 1, 2008

That said, Avery was surprised to wake up the next day in her own bed. She had no recollection of the night's events after 10:15pm. Her right hand was sore and slightly bruised, and she vaguely recalled punching someone. Avery groaned and rubbed her eyes with her hands. She walked down the hallway to get to the kitchen for some water; when she got to the living room, she stopped short.
It was a hilarious sight. Bam and Missy had taken the couches for themselves. Rake had a tutu over his clothes and was sprawled across the floor with novelty glasses that said '2008'. Paige was in Dunn's arms on the dining table. Dico was in the corner of the living room in his underwear with profanity and questionable drawings all over his body in black Sharpie, and Novak was nowhere in sight.

"I don't even care right now." Avery muttered.

She went to the kitchen to rehydrate herself. After drinking a couple glasses of water, she started the coffee maker. Aroused by the smell, people started to peel themselves from their resting positions one by one. Each person had their own unique reaction to the sights around them. Some were mortified. Others confused. Still others nonchalant. They all gathered around the kitchen counter on the living room side.

"What happened?" Dunn asked.

"Shhh. Nobody says a word until I get some coffee." Avery said in a voice hardly above a whisper.
"I have an important question though." Dico said.

"Hmm?"

"What's all over your legs?"

She looked down and saw bluegreen stains on her legs. It was sticky to the touch, and Avery saw the color was all over her clothing.

"For now: don't know, don't care." She replied.

She poured everyone a cup of coffee and they gladly accepted. She set the container of sugar on the counter so that everyone could help themselves. Avery, on the other hand, took out the bottle of Jameson and poured some liquor into her coffee to make it Irish.

"Damn, girl. Getting a headstart on tonight's festivities?" Dunn asked.

"Tonight? I plan on spending the rest of my day with my friends Johnnie Walker and Jameson, thank you very much." She said matter-of-factly.

"Wow. Starting the year off on this note?" Rake chimed in.

"Yes… do you have a problem with that, Tutu Man?" She cocked her eyebrow.

"No, of course not." He replied quickly.

“Can we go get some grub?” Bam asked.

“I don’t think everybody is in the condition to go into public right now.” Paige said, referring to Rake and Dico.

“Where’s Novak?” Missy asked.

“I don’t know. What happened last night?” Dunn said.

“Okay, how about this? We can order some pizza and figure out what happened last night while the food gets here.” Avery suggested, annoyed at all the chatter.

Everyone agreed and took a seat on the couch while Avery phoned in the order. She put another pot of coffee and walked to the living room, grabbing her Blackberry off the counter.

“So, I remember betting some guys that I could hit a bullseye on the dartboard by throwing the dart over my back.” Rake said.

“Is that why you’re wearing a tutu? From losing the bet?” Dico laughed.

“Not sure. What’s your excuse?”

Dico shrugged his shoulders, unsure of how he ended up half-naked with vulgarities written everywhere.

“I remember punching some asshole. Actually, my hand remembers better than I do.” Avery recalled.

“Yeah, I remember that.” Bam said. “Then me, Missy, and you went looking for the guys. I think we were racing shopping carts in the alley or something. I vaguely remember that.”

“I think Novak hooked up with some girl.” Paige said.

“Maybe that’s where he is.”

“Oh! You guys tried playing drunk Chicken Fight.” Missy recollected.

“Doesn’t that require a pool?” Paige asked.

“Technically, yes. But the guys decided that being drunk was like being in a pool... which it SO is not.”

“I hope somebody has video of that. I have got to see that disaster.” Avery laughed.

People pulled out their cellphones to sift through them in hopes of finding proof of said chicken fight.

“No, I don’t have anything.” Avery said.

“Me neither.” Bam and Missy chimed.

“Oh, here! I don’t have video of the chicken fight, but I do have a picture of you.” Paige said.

“Oh, God. Of what?”

“Nothing incriminating.” she reassured and gave Avery the phone to see.

She was sitting on the couch next to Bam and Missy, and they peeked over her shoulder to look at the phone. The picture was of Avery wearing a glowstick necklace laughing in hysterics while an unfamiliar guy laughed with her; he had a broken glowstick in his hands. Avery flipped to the next picture to see the guy smearing the liquid from the glowstick all over her.

"Well, that explains the stains on my legs." Avery said.

"Who is that?" Missy asked.

"I think his name is Paul or something." Paige said.

Avery returned the phone and continued looking through her own to return text messages. “I mean, I’m just glad everyone got home safe… almost everyone. I’m sure Novak is okay... I would hate to have done something stupid that I would -- oh… fucking shit.”

She wanted to swallow her words.

“What’s wrong?” Paige asked.

“Ah… fuck. I-I was going through my call history, and uh… it looks like I called Ville like 20 times last night until like 3 o’clock in the morning … Aaaand, looking at the call times, I think I’ve left several voicemails. Fuck!”

Avery threw her phone to the opposite couch like it was a hot potato because she wanted to get as far away from it as possible. She couldn’t even imagine what she had said in those voicemails, nevermind how lucid she had been. There was a silence as everyone dealt with their hangovers.

“We’re going back to Philly in tomorrow, if you wanna come back with us.” Bam invited.

“No, I gotta go back to work.” Avery replied.

“What? You should take some time off. It’s the new year, after all.”

Avery chuckled. “As much as I’d like to, I shouldn't. If I do, I think I might end up drinking myself into oblivion… Thanks for the offer though.”

November 19, 2013, continued

Ville continued to tell Dr. Ashbury the story of the breakup. He wasn’t aware of Avery’s misbehavior until he had heard the voicemails that she had left for him.

“I was playing the Helldone Festival at the Tavastia club in Finland, so my phone was off for the night. When I woke up the next morning, I had like 10 messages from her, but most of them weren’t very coherent. She was slurring her words like mad and crying. I was able to barely understand that she was hanging out with Bam. I was worried about her, but I didn’t know how she’d react if I were to call her. I didn’t know if she was upset with me or what, so I called Bam to figure out what had happened and to make sure she was okay.

“He told me that she had been drinking a lot for New Year’s and that she felt miserable. It hurt to hear… It physically hurt to hear that, and I wanted nothing more than to fly out and comfort her; I just wanted to apologize for how stupid I had been so that we could get back together... But of course, I couldn’t do that. And I didn’t want to try to fix things over the phone, not after the way I’d broken up with her. I wanted some big grand gesture. I wouldn’t be able to fly out for another week. Until then, I could only continue working with the knowledge that she would also be returning to work soon, and thus staying out of trouble.”

“You’re very protective of her. Do you feel responsible for her actions?” Dr. Ashbury asked.

“Of course! I pushed her away and practically handed her the bottle with the way I ended things.”

“You only broke up with her. That was a decision well within your rights. Why are her actions a reflection of your character?”

“Because that doesn’t mean that she should’ve been drinking excessively like that! The break-up isn’t justification for her to-- to destroy herself.”

Ville was getting angry.

“So you’re saying that you wouldn’t want her to have ruined her life because of something that was beyond her control. The break-up was your decision, so it was under your control, right?” she asked pragmatically.
“Yeah, exactly.”

“I’d like you to reflect on what you’ve just said and apply it to your current situation.”

Ville paused. “...how do you mean?”

“Well, you just said that she shouldn’t have wasted her life because of something you did. Don’t you think the same applies to you? You shouldn’t waste your life because of something she did or that happened to her.”

Ville looked at the floor and smirked. He didn’t know how else to react at her suggestion that Avery’s death and his breakup were at all similar. It was absurd.

“You sound like a friend of mine.” he finally said, remembering what Paige had told him weeks ago about the temptations of alcohol.

“Sounds like a good friend.” Dr. Ashbury noted.