Heartkiller

Chapter Thirty One: Too Happy to be Alive

Now we feel it coming,
piercing our hearts.
fingers crossed and praying, nothing goes wrong

Friday December 14, 2012

After finishing a call, Avery set the phone back in its cradle. Her desk was littered with papers and open files. Her Corporate Law Reference was left open to a page she had needed earlier in the day, and there were a few unopened letters sitting at the corner of the desk. Annoyed by the mess, she straightened the papers into stacks to organize her area as best as she could. After closing the files, she grabbed her reference book by its spine and returned it to its designated place on the bookshelf. Her office seemed marginally cleaner now, so she sat down and took a sip of her coffee.

It was almost three o’clock in the afternoon at the end of the week, and she was exhausted. Aside from dealing with her pregnancy, which was making her tired in and of itself, she was overwhelmed by her workload these past few weeks. She was dealing with a particularly big case involving a major client: the Henderson Oil Company. It was an important case for the client, who had been accused of a couple monstrous crimes, but also for Sterling-Ellis, which was depending on a hefty payout from the whale client. There was a lot of pressure on Avery and her colleagues to get this right. Avery had only been on the case for two months, but every week presented a new complication, causing the attorneys to reconsider their approach.

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to relish the moment of peace she had. She leaned back in her chair and freed her mind of her worries temporarily. Almost in a meditative state, Avery sat in her chair and breathed deeply, revelling in the silence.

“Avery?”

She perked up to see Paige in her doorway. “Yeah?”

“You have a meeting with the Hendersons in five minutes in Conference Room B.” she reminded.

“Right.” She paused, gathering the strength to get up. “Thanks, I”ll be right there. Are they here already?”

“No, no.”

“Okay.”

Avery cleared her throat and stood up. After gathering a few files and a legal pad, she made her way out of her office and down the hall to reach the conference room. Ready to put her best foot forward for the meeting, Avery walked with her held high, clearing any sense of fatigue she may have felt. She had everybody fooled. Through the glass doors, she could see that Paul and Amber, her colleagues on the case, were already settled in their seats.

“Hey,” she greeted when she came inside.

“Hey,” they replied in unison.

She took a seat on the other side of Amber, who asked, “Did you hear about Becky Robinson?”

Avery’s face fell. Judging by her tone, she knew this couldn’t be good. “Did I hear what about Becky Robinson?”

“She’s dropping out of the case. She doesn’t want to take the stand anymore and give her testimony.”

“Son of a bitch.” Avery muttered under her breath. “It’s like this case is cursed.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” she replied.

“Here’s to hoping this meeting doesn’t present any more bad news.” Paul said as he saw the Hendersons approaching. “My liver can’t take any more damage.”

“Here, here.” the girls toasted in agreement.

The three attorneys stood up when the Henderson CEO, Vice President, and in-house counsel came inside. They shook hands with the attorneys as they came inside and took their seats. Ryan, the tan CEO with a charming smile, led the pack dressed in a well-tailored suit. His VP, Luke, followed behind him and Daisy, the company’s in-house counselor, walked with her arms full with files. Trailing behind them was a little blonde girl, who couldn’t have been older than five years. Her curly hair was brushed neatly into a ponytail, and she was dressed in a pink tutu and top to match. With a stuffed dolphin in one arm, she tugged a small suitcase of toys behind her.

“And who’s this?” Paul asked, straining himself to keep his voice level. He was clearly unenthused at the idea of dealing with a child.

“It’s my daughter, Rachel.” Ryan introduced. “Rachel, say hi.”

The little girl looked up and waved politely to the new faces before she set herself up in the corner of the room with her toys. She sat on the floor with her legs sprawled out in front of her. Rachel opened the suitcase and took out a few stuffed animals and set them alongside the wall. By the looks of it, this was not the first time she had been dragged to one of her father’s meetings; she knew just how to behave.

“My wife and I are divorced and she dropped her off this morning without any warning. She’s going to some spa thing in the Hamptons, trying to blow all the alimony away while she still can, I assume…” he mumbled. “Anyway, we came to talk about the conditions of the case, right? How’s it looking?”

“We’ve spoken to the opposing counsel, and they seem adamant to take this to trial. It’s smart; they have the upper hand in this when the evidence is stacked against us.” Avery summarized.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Ryan challenged.

“Make a killer argument,” she replied without missing a beat.

Ryan smiled, pleased by her conviction. “Good.”

“We’ve spoken to Clarence at your company, and she’s given us all the documentation with the correct shipment orders so that we aware of the details.” Paul started.

As her colleagues started to update their client and to present the next move, Avery’s eyes fell on the little girl in the corner of the room, who had seemingly created her own fantasy world to play in. Her stuffed animals were placed in a neat row, and she had begun to cook them a meal with some toy cookware. A few whispers of dialogue to the dolls was all that indicated she was even in the room. Rachel smiled and played, paying no attention to the business around her.

All too suddenly, Avery realized what she was looking at. It wasn’t just a little girl, another possession for her parents, but it was a human being. Rachel was a young mind molded by her upbringing, parents, surroundings, and environment. What an inconceivably daunting task! She looked down at her stomach for but a second to look at her barely-there bump. She was creating her own child. A person. Seeing Rachel elucidated the meaning of her pregnancy: she wasn’t going to have a baby or a child. She was creating a person, her own flesh and blood, along with her husband and together they were knighted with the responsibility of cultivating a member of society. She shivered at the scary truth.

Avery brought her attention back to the conversation so as not to seem distracted. She listened to a few words to pick up where they were in the conversation.

“...and then they’ll probably call your secretary to the stand since she’s seen every document that crosses your desk.” Paul said.

“So we let’s make sure they regret calling her.” Avery suggested.

“Pardon?” the vice president clarified.

“You know, we make her seem unappealing as a reliable witness, at least for them. She’ll have to seem like someone who has some ulterior motive for testifying against the company… Maybe she has a personal vendetta, undermining everything she says. They won’t want to risk that.” she explained.

“Oh, that’s… that’s good.” Amber added.

She took the idea and ran with it, allowing Avery to tune out of the conversation again. Every few seconds, she would sneak a glance at Rachel, who would get up to fix a fallen stuffed animal or would ‘feed’ her imaginary friends. She had Avery’s full concentration without even trying. She even made eye contact with her once, and Rachel smiled that someone was paying attention to her. Avery bit her lip to hide a smile from the adults in the room. She couldn’t believe it. Only eight and half months to go before she’d have her own little Rachel.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

On Saturday, Avery woke up feeling like she needed something to relieve her stress after having such a long week. Her neck was cramped with tension, and she tried to massage it out. With a sigh, she rolled out of bed in her pajamas and reached for her phone on the bedside table. She scrolled through her messages hoping to see something from Ville, who had been radio silent for a few days. However, there weren’t any text messages or emails from him. She bit her lip. Hopefully, everything was okay. Maybe he was just busy.

She scanned the rest of her work emails before she set her phone back on the table. Avery then stood up, stretched, and went to the closet to pick out an outfit for the day. As she flipped through the hangers, she remembered seeing a flyer about a sale at Barney’s this weekend. Hmm. Maybe some retail therapy is what I need, she thought. It was a dangerous idea; once she was out, she was sure she would overspend. Excited by the thought, however, Avery hurriedly pulled out a set of undergarments, peach skinny jeans, and a black band tee to wear for the day. On her way to the bathroom, she turned on the stereo in the bedroom and turned up the volume, allowing Nick Holmes’ voice fill the apartment.

After turning on the water for the tub, Avery went to the sink and brushed her teeth. She brushed out the tangles in her hair to reduce damage when she washed it. Once she undressed, she stepped into the bathtub and let the warm water soak her hair.

“Your desires, only where there's fire burning, I'll show you the way, a pleasure that's for the taking,” she sang as she massaged shampoo into her hair.

The music was calming, just what she needed. Avery decided to take this day to pamper herself as a treat for the past few weeks of stressful hours at work. Besides, she didn’t even have Ville here with her to comfort her; she’d have to make do. Once she rinsed the shampoo, she put some conditioner in her hair and let it set while she washed the rest of her body and shaved her legs. When she finished, she washed out the conditioner as well and entangled her fingers in her soft, blonde locks. She dried herself off and put on the clothes she’d laid out.

For makeup, she kept in theme with the day: a peach blush, caramel smoky eye, kohl pencil rimming her lids, and a nude lip. The music in the background kept her company; she even got a little carried away and lip-synced in the mirror. Avery giggled and plugged in her hairdryer. Changing it to a medium setting, she blowdried her hair. Unhappy with the look, however, she pulled out her curling iron from the drawer and spent a few minutes to add some loose curls to her tresses. When she finished, she adjusted the pieces of her hair until she was satisfied. Adding a pair of earrings and a necklace to complete the look, Avery smiled at her reflection.

With her hips rocking with the beat of the music, she made her way to the bedroom. Avery grabbed her coat and scarf from the closet and turned off the stereo. After gathering her purse and belongings, she put on a pair of black ankle boots and left the apartment. On her way down the elevator, her stomach grumbled, reminding her to eat. First stop: breakfast. The elevator doors opened and she walked out and down the steps, waving to Larry the doorman.

A few doors down from her apartment building, there was a cafe. She went inside and ordered a bagel sandwich and orange juice. This Saturday morning, the crowd was light, allowing her to eat at a table in the cafe without much disturbance. With her phone keeping her company, Avery hurriedly scarfed down her breakfast, eager to head out to the shops. She was able to reply to some emails while she ate; when she finished, she threw out her trash and left the cafe. Approaching the curb, she hailed a cab.

“Madison Avenue, please. As close to Barney’s as you can get.” Avery told the driver.

When she walked into the apartment, she set her bags down by the door and locked it. Although shopping had distracted her for a few hours, she was still thinking about Ville. Keeping in mind that he was probably just busy, Avery went to the landline phone in case he had called while she was out, but there wasn’t anything. Avery pulled her phone out of her purse. No texts from her husband either. She sighed and set her purse on the dining table. Removing the coat and scarf, she went to the bedroom to return the garments to the closet.

Avery sat on the bed with her laptop, hoping to see an email from Ville as a last resort of contact. She pulled up her email and perked up when she saw a message from him at the top of her inbox. In fact, it had only been sent ten minutes ago. She clicked the email to see what it read:

Hey darling,

Sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you for a few days. I’ve been swamped. We decided to put out a compilation album as a sort of precursor to the new album to test the waters of the fanbase. We’ve been re-recording the hits for that the past two weeks, and we just finished everything up. I’ve attached a link to the promo video if you wanna see it.

There's a shitload of stuff to do now, and I forgot how exhausting this can be. Things have been really hectic this side of the ocean. I only wish I could sleep with you in my arms.

I hope you are well. Call me when you get a chance.

Love and miss you,
V

She smiled at the sentiment. When she clicked the YouTube link Ville had given, the video opened in a new tab. She clicked the fullscreen option, and the black monitor illuminated to display Ville’s face. The background was a wood panelled wall with a window through which Avery could see some recording equipment set up. Dressed in his black skinny jeans, a black tee, blazer and scarf, Ville waved to the camera. Immediately Avery was drawn to his hair, which was not tucked under a beanie as it usually was. No, it was left as a dry unruly heap, and it was painful for her to see. She rolled her eyes; that was something for her to think about at another time. For now, she focused on the video. Having missed the first few seconds, Avery restarted it from the beginning.

“Greetings, oh earthlings! My name is Ville Hermanni Valo and I sing for a band called HIM… With the end of the world approaching in a few days--you know, if you believe that December 21st will be the final day mortals have--we thought that the best way to conclude our time, as a band but also... our lives,” he paused to glare dramatically, “would be with a compilation album. Like the band on Titanic… we’ll go down rocking out. Our Greatest Hits (and misses) will be available for your auditory pleasure in the coming days. So, uh, you know… pick it up and, uh… enjoy, I hope! See you on the other side, maybe.” he said and saluted the camera before the picture dimmed. It then displayed the release dates for the compilation album in various countries.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Oh, that awkward loser!”

Seeing his face now was a bit comforting. She still missed him, though, and hoped to speak to him. Avery glanced at the time: it was 6:12pm here in the City, which meant it was a little after one in the morning in Helsinki. Unsure if Ville would still be awake, Avery logged into Skype and saw that he was online. She clicked his username and requested a video call. The line rang a few times and stopped, indicating the call had been answered. There was a couple of seconds of lag before Ville’s face appeared on the screen.

As soon as she saw him, Avery couldn’t stop herself from asking in a light, playful tone, “What in God’s name is that crow’s nest on your head?”

“Hello to you, too, dear.” Ville chimed in with a smile. When he sent the email, he had been expecting such a reaction from her. Seeing him lying on his side on the bed, Avery mirrored his posture.

“Sorry… Hello.” she said. “How are you?”

“I’m well... I haven’t been able to sleep, so I’m glad you called to keep me company. How are you?”

“Not too bad. I’ve been getting fatigued really easily lately, but other than that, I’ve been okay.”

“How’s the goblin?”

“The little one is well.” She eased off the bed so that she was sitting up and lifted her shirt. A hint of a baby was starting to show now that she was six weeks pregnant. “I had an appointment two days ago, and the doctor said that everything looks good.”

“That’s good.”

“Alright, are we done with the pleasantries now? Can we get back to what I was asking?” she asked lightheartedly and laid down again.

“Sure.” he murmured between staggered laughs. He was clearly enjoying her reaction to the video.

“Baby? What did you do to your beautiful little locks? It looks like a tumbleweed mess in that video. I can’t believe you went on camera like that.”

“It wasn’t my fault. It was the hairstylist for the shoot!” he exclaimed. “She did something to it, and--uh, I don’t know. That’s how it ended up. I didn’t have much say in it.”

“I’m sorry, was she also a costume designer for Edward Scissorhands?”

“Hahha, you seem to be really quick with the tongue, moreso than usual. Has it been out of commission as of late? Have you been itching for a clever game of wits?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere in this, Valo. You can’t use the hairstylist as a scapegoat... If there had been a hairstylist--and I really doubt that one had been hired for some bloody thirty second YouTube video… or that you didn’t have a say in this… cut the bullshit, babe-- the poor thing probably did the best she could!”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Ave. I’ve been conditioning my hair just like you instructed.” he said, a naughty smile tugging at his lips and making it hard to sell his lie.

“Really? So if I were to walk into the bathroom right now, I wouldn’t see the bottle, dry and unused, sitting in the corner of the tub collecting dust?”

“No, of course you would not.” She narrowed her eyes and cocked a brow, knowing that Ville was lying. They stayed like that for a while, Avery probing him to fess up. Instead, he broke eye contact and changed the subject. “Anyway, how was your week, darling?”

Her glare lingered for a moment longer before she eased in her posture. She knew the truth, and it didn't seem like Ville was going to admit it. Pulling the laptop onto her lap, Avery sat against the headboard and resumed a normal conversation.

“It was stressful. That Henderson case is killing me.”

“What now?”

“The client came back in on yesterday, and we went through the case one more time.” She groaned and wrung her forehead in frustration. Keeping her eyes closed and her head in her hand, Avery continued, “There have been all these complications. First, it was trying to avoid a trial at all and settling this amongst the clients, but you know… the Henderson company has a disadvantage and the opposing counsel knows that. I mean, the company fucked up, and we’re not denying that. It’s just about minimizing the damage as much as possible at this point. But anyway, once that happened, we were scrambling for evidence trying to make our case and that had its own issues that I… I honestly don’t even want to think about it. It was such a fucking headache. And then, this week one of my key witnesses backed out of the case… she’s all nervous now, and so it’s been difficult. Just when we cross one hurdle, there’s something else that comes up.”

“So what’s going to happen?”

“Um, well, I can subpoena her…” she replied, looking up from her hands. “It’s basically compelling her to take the stand, but--I don’t know.”

“What?” Ville pushed, asking her to explain.

“If I do that, it’s already alienating her, in some sense. I’m forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do, and she may not say what we want her to say.” she paused and corrected herself, “Well, not necessarily what we want her to say, but the way we want her to say it. She needs to speak favorably about my client, and she’ll feel less inclined to do that if we’re putting her in circumstances she doesn’t like. I’ll have to… I don’t know, I’ll probably have to convince her on her own accord.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah, it would just be easier if she cooperated.”

“I’m sorry, doll.”

“I just want to go to trial already before anything else goes wrong. Anyway…” she sighed. “After all that happened this week, I decided to go shopping today… You know, a little retail therapy.”

“Uh oh. How much damage is there?”

“I put it on the card, but… it’s not too bad. Don’t worry. There were a few places that had a sale, so…”

“So you spent more money to compensate the discounts?” he accused playfully.

“Maybe.” A broad grin spread on her face. “And, Ville, I got the cutest little thing for the baby.”

“Really?” he asked, smiling now that her mood had turned.

“Yeah, I’ll show you. Let me go get it, hold on.”

She set the computer down on the bed and returned to the living room to look through the bags. There were various purchases from clothing to shoes, but Avery had stopped by a baby store when she had seen the mannequins in the display window, unable to resist the temptation. Once she found what she was looking for, Avery went back to the bedroom with a small bag and returned to her earlier position.

“Hey, okay… I know it’s going to be a while before they fit, but I saw these in the store and it was the cutest thing ever. I couldn’t help myself.” She pulled her hand into the camera’s view to show him a small pair of black converse for the baby. “It’s itty-bitty, but isn’t it precious?”

“That’s adorable.” he replied with a beam.

“Yeah, I figured that they’d, you know, match all the black clothes we’re undoubtedly going to get for the baby.” she replied. "We're going to spoil this child mercilessly."

“Oh, speaking of, actually I picked something up as well. It’s a little light reading for me to do while the other guys are recording their parts and I'm sitting alone in the studio, but…” he paused to reach the nightstand. Pulling the book into view, Ville continued, “It’s called ‘Ages and Stages: A Parent’s Guide to Normal Childhood Development.’ It’s by this psychologist, and it’s been pretty good so far. There are like… tips and stuff like that but also some stories and examples. Nothing too traumatizing yet.”

“You bought a parenting book?” she asked incredulously, setting the shoes down beside her.

Red-cheeked Ville bit his lip and hid his face behind the book from embarrassment. “Don’t laugh, Ave.” he muttered.

“I wasn’t going to, it’s just that…” she reached for something on the bedside table to show him and confessed, “I bought the same book.”

“Really?” he chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.”

“Yeah… we seem like such nervous parents-to-be.”

“I think prepared is the right word.” he offered to console.

“I don’t know about that… I’ve got like a stack of parenting books here.” Avery murmured. “How far are you?”

“Chapter Two, so not very. There have been some surprising things in here that, uh… I don’t know. It’s all very new. Like music, I can sit here and talk to you about it for ages, but parenting is so new and… foreign. I’m reading this and I’m getting excited for when the baby finally gets here, but…”

“But you’re nervous because you don’t know if you can handle once the baby finally arrives?” she offered and he nodded. “Yeah, me too. I feel like I’ll read all the books ever written and I’ll still sit here and doubt myself. It seems so easy on paper.”

“I’m right there with you. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like when we’re holding the baby in our arms.” Ville said with a cheeky grin. “It’s been hard to keep this a secret though. I was reading it in the corner of the studio the other day, and I was nearly caught in the act by Mige, that nosy bastard.”

“You were worried that he’ll find out about the baby before we tell everybody?”

“No, much worse: he’d tease me about it for ages. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Avery giggled. “Why? I think it’s completely reasonable to be reading parenting books when you have a baby on the way.”

“Reasonable…” he muttered under his breath. Ville rolled his eyes and scowled. “Have you met Mige? There’s not a ‘reasonable’ bone in his body.”

She laughed harder at his exaggerated scorn. “Well, how’s the recording going then? I haven’t been hearing much about that from you lately.”

“We had to take a break on that for a few days while we did this whole compilation thing, which was kinda… last minute. It was Seppo's idea to announce that the band is back. The fans, you know, a lot of them knew about Gas and his injury... We did a quick update on the website to say that we're back in the studio, but... Seppo wanted to put something out to show that we're still strong."

"Understandable." Avery said and set the book down beside her. "I can't wait to hear it."

"It's a compilation album... You've heard all the songs before already." he said skeptically, unsure of why she was so excited.

"Yeah, but I'm a fan, too. I need some reassurance that my favorite band is stronger than ever, Ville. As your wife, I know that you've never been better, but as your fan... Not so much." Avery teased.

“Whatever." He laughed. "And then we’re working on like a, um, music video thing for Metal Hammer… like a special fanpack. It'll be a signed copy, a poster, and access to these behind-the-scenes music videos of a couple of the songs. I think.”

“Yeah, you told me that you were thinking about doing a fanpack. Well, last time we spoke, it was only an idea that was being bounced around. I’m glad to see that things are moving forward.”

"Well, we’ve been trying to sort it all out. The terms and conditions bullshit.”

“Hm.” she noted.

“Yeah, so we’ve gotten a little side-tracked on the new album. We still have a long way to go, and there’s still a couple songs that we haven’t worked out in the rehearsal studio yet. We need to clean it up and really… refine the sound. Then, once we get to the studio, you know… there’s always some last minute changes and experimenting to really get it right.”

“A lot of work left?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, a lot of work left…” he said, his volume lowering as he reached the end of his sentence. He bit his lip.

“Ville… what is it? What’s wrong?” she speculated.

“Nothing’s… wrong, per se.”

“Then? You’ve got that pensive look on your face… Don’t get me wrong, I’m all hot and bothered over it, but… you look a little distressed. What’s up?”

“I…” he sighed. “I’m just not too thrilled about what I’m about to tell you, Ave.”

“What’s that?” she asked cautiously, alarmed by his tone.

Reluctantly, Ville replied. “You know how you were planning to fly in for the Christmas holidays? We were going to spend it with Mum and Dad, like we do every year…”

“Yeah.” she let the sound linger.

“I don’t think you should… bother yourself with flying out here for that. I’m really sorry, but… I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to do anything special with you, and I don’t want you to waste time making the journey over here. I mean, I want to see you, but…” he rambled.

“Babe?” she said, calling his attention.

“Hmm?”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” Avery said with a comforting smile.

“You sure?”

“Honey, it’s a holiday that you and I don’t really even believe in. We just use Christmas as an excuse to have dinner with your family, if we haven’t been able to spend much time with them the rest of the year. We’re going to be around for a while… we can postpone it to another day, it’s fine… Damn, we can have Christmas dinner in March for all I care.”

Ville laughed. “So you’re not upset?”

“‘Course not.” Then with a smug grin, she added, “You get to be the one to tell your mother, though.”

“Oh, no…” he widened his eyes. In a small voice, he added, “I was going to ask you to do that.”

“And let me get guilt-tripped into doing something to make up for upsetting your mother? Uh-uh. No way, Valo. That’s all you. I love your mother and I’d love the chance to speak to her, but we’re only cancelling because of you. You get to deal with the consequences.”

“Whatever. Fine.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I love you. I miss you.” Ville said.

“Miss you more.”

“Not possible.” he denied.

Avery beamed. “You know, the other day, I had this… I don’t even know what to call it. Epiphany seems too bold a statement, but… well, whatever. I had this moment! The Henderson client, actually, had brought his child to a meeting.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it was kind of a last minute meeting, and it was his turn to keep his daughter because he’s divorced from his wife… they have shared custody or something. I don’t even--Anyway, not the point.”

“I’m excited to hear what’s on your mind. It’s got you all flustered.”

She blushed. “Yeah… She was hardly five or six years old. Her name was Rachel. And, I mean, I’ve seen toddlers before obviously. I’ve been around Lara, I’ve seen my colleagues’ children, but seeing that little girl in my office was such a different experience now that I'm pregnant. I’m watching her as she’s playing with her dolls in the corner of the office--I’m hardly paying attention to my client at this point--and I’m so… fascinated. I’m sitting there so marveled by this little girl. It felt like--God, I’m going to sound so ridiculous.”

“No, you won’t.” he reassured. “Tell me, Ave.”

“Watching that girl play and create this fantasy world for herself… Seeing her interact and… just exist--it really hit me. That’s sort of when I was like ‘wow, I’m gonna give birth to a person. A real person. We’re going to be raising a child that’s going to grow up and be… who knows? He or she is going to grow up to live her dreams in whatever career seems fascinating and make mistakes and fall in love.’ It all seems so overwhelming. I’ve known--Obviously I’ve known that our baby is going to do all that, but seeing that girl and observing her made it all the more real. It’s… insane.”

“It is. It’s… wild. It seems scarier than anything I’ve ever done. I’m even more nervous about becoming a father than I was when I asked you to marry me, and that was by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“Scarier than playing a show in front of thousands and thousands of fans?”

“Oh, monumentally scarier. Definitely.” he confirmed. “I was putting myself out on a limb when I asked you… we’d never really talked about it before and it was just something that happened. I was terrified.”

Avery smiled. “Can you believe it, Ville? We met… what? Like six and a half years ago? We were so young then. I was barely making my mark at the firm, and you… well, you’ve always been great.” She confessed, not knowing what condition he’d been in.

“I was a mess of a human being.” Ville corrected. “I was a drunkard, a hopeless romantic that was barely getting through each day.”

“And now? Now I’m senior partner at Sterling-Ellis, you’re sober and getting ready to put out your eighth album with a band that’s been together for almost twenty years, we’re happier than we’ve ever been, and… and we’re about to have a baby.”

“It’s something that becomes more and more frightening the longer I think about it.”

“Right?” she agreed. Avery leaned back in her seat and sighed. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling sink in.

“Have you been thinking about names?” Ville asked.

Popping one eye open, she smiled sheepishly. “Maybe.”

“Oh, good. I practically have a list written down, Ave.” he said with a relieved sigh.

She giggled. “A list? Really?” He nodded. “Well, let’s hear it, then.”

“Tit for tat.”

“Alright, you first, Ville.”

“Um, well… If it’s a girl, Chloe, maybe.”

“No…” she scrunched her nose.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s not the name itself... It’s a Kardashian.”

“What’s a Kardashian?”

Avery burst into laughter. “Not a ‘what,’ a ‘who.’ It’s this famous reality tv family that, uh… well, let’s not get into it. ‘Chloe’ is associated with a group of people that aren’t very likeable, I guess. ”

“Oh. Well… any other names that aren’t good by association?”

“Almost any name you can think of that starts with a K.” she deadpanned.

Ville raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? That many, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, your turn.”

“A girl’s name? I was thinking something like Susanna, maybe?”

“Mmm.” Ville started, giving it a moment so as not to seem too eager to respond. “No.”

“What’s wrong with Susanna? We could call her Susie for short.”

“I dated a girl by that name, if you remember, and trust me… the things I did with Susanna are not things I should do with our daughter. I wouldn’t be able to look at our little girl without thinking about all that.”

Avery cocked her eyebrow. “Really? What kinds of things?”

“Nothing nearly as good as the things I’ve done with you, my darling.” Ville saved.

She smirked. “Oh, good answer, Ville… Any other girls you’ve dated that I should cross off my list of names?”

“You know them all.” Ville replied and changed the subject to avoid further scrutiny. “How about for a boy? I was thinking Oliver.”

“After Jesse? That’s actually a really good one! I like it.” she smiled.

“Did you have any boys’ names in mind?”

“I was thinking George… it has a nice regal ring to it, don’t you think? George Valo.”

“Yeah, yeah, it does.”

“I was also looking at Finnish names. You know that I adore your name, and… well, I don’t know. I was hoping a Finnish name could keep the child more connected to that side of his/her ancestry.”

“That’s very sweet of you. Did you find any you liked?”

“I haven’t spent too much time looking into it yet, so I’m still not quite sure of anything for a boy. But for a girl… I really like the name Evelina. Maybe Evelina Rose.”

“Oh, that’s cute. I like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm. And then we could call her Evie for short.”

“Yes! I’m glad you like it. I’m still looking at male Finnish names, but I haven’t found anything that I really love yet.”

“Ah, that’s okay. We still have like eight months to go before we need to make a decision. I’m sure we’ll be aware of the names around us, in our daily lives, that will give us ideas. We don’t have to decide anything right this second.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“But what we have so far is a good start, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, it is. I really like Oliver. Ollie and Evie. Oh, that’s so cute.”

Ville beamed and agreed, “Adorable.”

He grew more excited at the thought. When she heard herself say the names aloud, it got her thinking about having two children. Maybe the couple would move to a house in the suburbs so that they’d have more room for the children and also more privacy for the family. She could picture the kids coming around the corner of the house for dinner. Ville would be sitting at the head of the table marveling at them and the way they were interacting. Avery would be bringing dinner from the kitchen and set it on the table; maybe she’d scold them for getting in her way but the anger wouldn’t last long because they were her kids. Despite all their antics, she loved them dearly.

She shook her head and brought herself from the reverie. She was getting carried away. That was still ages away. Right now they were hardly a month and a half into the first pregnancy, and she was getting ahead of herself by thinking about all of that. Avery returned her attention to the laptop screen to see Ville, who wore a giddy smile.

“What?” she asked, mirroring his expression.

“Nothing.” he dismissed. “You’re cute when you get lost in your imagination and forget that I’m watching you.”

Avery blushed and twisted her mouth to hide a smile. “Shut up.”

He smiled wider, but she could see that sleep was looming over him. He was rubbing his face trying to stay awake, and she didn’t want to keep him up any longer.

Avery said, “Alright, well, I’ll let you get to bed, honey. I can see your eyelids drooping.”

“Okay… it was nice to see your gorgeous face again.”

“You’re cuter.” she said and stuck out her tongue.

“I’ll talk to you later, love.”

“Kay, take care of yourself. Good night, Ville.”

“Good night, Ave.” She ended the call and closed the monitor of the laptop.