She's Not Afraid

Louis’s P.O.V

I watched Niall and Adrienne leave. Anna was still shaky.
“Anna, come sit back down.” I said.
“Louis, I’m fine. I need to get something to eat.” She shook her head and made her way, slowly, to the kitchen. I got up and followed her.
“Want me to make you something to eat, love?” I asked. She jumped and turned.
“Louis, I am fine. It isn’t the first time this has happened.” She immediately covered her mouth.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, more concerned than anything.
“Um, nothing.” She said quickly. I raised an eyebrow and looked at her.
“Fainting isn’t just nothing.” I walked over to her. She was looking down.
“Louis, it’s something you wouldn’t understand…” She looked at me, tears threatening to spill.
“Then explain it to me a million times. I don’t like when you’re hurting.” I grabbed one of her hands, holding it tightly.
“Fine, let me eat first.” She sighed.
“By the way…you never answered my question…will you be my girlfriend?” I asked her again.
“I’d be honored.” She giggled. I smiled and hugged her.
“So what are you making anyway?” I asked sitting at the bar, still waiting for her to finish.
“Pancakes, want some?” She asked.
“Nah, I had food back at the house.” I smiled. She finished cooking her pancake and made her way over next to me. I pulled her in for yet another hug.
“Louis, I would love to hug and cuddle the fuck out of you, but I am starving.” She mumbled into my chest.
“Sorry love, just glad you’re okay.” She just started eating.

Anna’s P.O.V

64 calories…why did I have to eat? I ate every single last piece so Louis wouldn’t have a heart attack. Well I knew he wouldn’t let me live it down. I might as well tell him.
“Well, I guess I should probably tell you why I passed out…huh?” I asked sheepishly. I haven’t told anyone. And now I am telling my boyfriend of what…fifteen minutes?
“Yeah.” He nodded, encouraging me to talk. I sighed.
“I suffer from anorexia…I have ever since Mark. I was never good enough…I was always too fat for him. So I stopped eating…when I would eat, he’d call me a pig…so I’d throw it up. That’s what I did last night…I woke up and threw up…I purged…I was never skinny enough for Mark. I was never enough…he constantly called me ugly, disgusting, fat, he said if my thighs touched he’d dump me…but I loved him so I stayed…he convinced me it was my fault that he was like that…he ruined my life…” I was sobbing by this point. The need to cut was stronger than ever. I was shaking. I felt Louis pull me into a tight hug. I cried harder. He was whispering things into my hair, words of comfort.

“Anna, you are more than enough, you are stronger than this.” He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I nodded, afraid if I spoke my voice would crack. Louis wiped my tears and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. Mark was such an asshole…I was an idiot for staying with him. I need to cut so badly. I need the cool touch of metal on my skin. Fuck I need it now. But how could I get-my train of thought was cut off by Louis’s phone going off. He looked annoyed but went to answer it. I took this chance to sneak away to the bathroom. I slowly peeled the bandage that covered my wrist from nights prior to see they all scabbed over. I opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out my blade.
“Anna?” Louis knocked on the door. Shit.
“Yeah?” I asked, my voice shaky. I knew he knew what I wanted to do.
“You okay?” He asked, worry and concern filled his voice. I sighed…I hurt him enough today, I put the blade back in its spot and close the cabinet gently. I flush the toilet, run the faucet and walk out.
“I’m fine.” I sigh. Louis’s eyes darted to my wrist, noticing the bandage had disappeared.
“You didn’t?” I shook my head. Relief washed over his face. He’s obviously never dealt with a girl like me. Boy was he in for an adventure.

Harry’s P.O.V

Louis had been gone all morning. Niall called and told us what happened. He sounded worried. I can only imagine Louis is a wreck right now. I texted him asking how he was.

Haz: Hey man, Niall told me what happened, you okay?
Louis: Yeah just really shaken up, she’s more scared about it though. Apparently this isn’t the first time it’s happened.
Haz: She may have to go away for a while then Lou…just be prepared for that.
Louis: I’m full on prepared to take her there myself if I have too…

He took me back by that statement. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Who ya talking too, mate?” Liam asked.
“Boo-Bear.” I felt my phone going off. Zayn was calling, we probably had to meet in the studio. I put it on speaker.
“Hey Zayn, what’s up?” I asked.
“Studio meeting with Simon. Louis is being stubborn, one of you need to get him to get down here. It’s about tour.” Zayn said and then hung up. I looked at Liam.
“Rock paper scissors on who deals with Tommo.” We both said at the same time. We began our epic battle. Sadly, Liam lost. I jumped up and was out the door.

Liam's P.O.V

Fuck, Louis is a bitch when he’s upset. I grabbed my keys and texted Niall, asking for the address to Anna’s flat. He texted back immediately. Adventure time.
I pulled into the complex and saw Lou’s car. I texted Lou saying I was here and we had to go. I got a very rude text saying he wasn’t going anywhere. Well then. I got out and went and knocked on the door.
“Oh hey Liam.” Anna greeted me, letting me in.
“Where’s Louis?” I turned and asked her.
“Kitchen.” She pointed through one of the doors. I nodded and went in the room. He was sitting at the counter.
“Louis, we have to go talk to Simon.” I stated. I really hated Harry for this.
“Why?” He asked.
“It’s about tour. Zayn said it was important.” I was getting irritated. He did the same thing when Eleanor was upset. He looked at me. Okay fuck this negotiating. I threw him over my shoulder and walked out.
“PUT ME DOWN LIAM!” He yelled. Anna’s face was priceless.
“We have a meeting with the record label, he’ll be back, promise.” I gave her a cheeky smile. She laughed and nodded.
“God dammit Liam, I can walk put me down!” Louis yelled again.
“Just go Louis, I’ll meet you back at your flat when you’re done. Just text me.” She kissed his cheek. He sighed and nodded.
“You need to talk to him more often! He doesn’t listen to us.” I perked up. She just laughed and shooed us.
Anna’s P.O.V

Finally…alone. I ran back into the bathroom and grabbed my blade. I needed to cut where Louis wouldn’t see. Thighs sounded most logical. I pulled off my pants and pressed the cool blade into my skin. I hissed and then felt relief. Holy crap I missed this. Red stained the floor as I made more lines on my leg. I slid down the door, I felt a high almost. I put my blade away, stood back up and began the process of cleaning my thigh. The peroxide stung, but it kept infection away. I put gauze and bandages on my leg. My phone buzzed, causing me to jump.

Louis: It was a stupid meeting. Our tour is being postponed because of our musicians being really sick. Simon could have told us that over the phone. Anyway, come over whenever you’d like :) xx
Me: Okay, hope they feel better, be there soon =) <3