Oneshots
Life Like Movies
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Bakahhh. One day, Bakahhh was running through a field of crimson and clover, and she tripped over a large object. When she looked down, she realized that she had tripped over a cadaver, with a tourniquet on its wrist. “AHHHHHHHHHH!” she screamed, as she yanked her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed “4-1-1” (she had forgotten the number to 911, so she was calling 411 to find out.) Anywho, when someone finally picked up, she screamed, “ABRA CADABRA I FOUND A CADAVER!!!” The voice replied, “Mhm, I’m the reason you found the cadaver. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” She recognized that voice.
“NO!!!!!! NOT YOU AGAIN! BDSM, YOU’RE A BAD, BAD MAN!!!!!” she cried, while hanging up the phone, and began sprinting through the crimson and clover to get to the police. She looked behind her for a moment, which was not a very good idea. When she turned around, she saw BDSM galloping on a unicorn, heading straight for her. Bakahhh increased her speed, while looking for a place to hide. The only place she found was a seedy bar, which happened to be in the middle of her crimson and clover field. It was her only hope, so she ran through the turnstile and into the bar. She looked for anyone that was big and strong, anyone to save her from Leatherfaice. She looked and looked, and then she spotted someone. It was Matthew Lush!!! Bakahhh ran over to him and pleaded, “Matthew, please save me from BDSM! He’s scaring me. I’m afraid he’ll kill me.” Matthew replied, “Anything for you, Bakahhh,” making Bakahhh smile. Matthew pulled his cape on, ran after Leatherfaice, and tricked the unicorn into chasing him. Leatherfaice did not get very far. The pole-leece found him tied to a tree with apparent scratch marks from what appeared to be from a unicorn. When Bakahhh saw this on the news, she hugged Matthew. “YOU ARE MAH HERO!!!” she exclaimed. “We should so get married,” she suggested. And they did. Matthew and Bakahhh Lush lived happily ever after.
The end.
“NO!!!!!! NOT YOU AGAIN! BDSM, YOU’RE A BAD, BAD MAN!!!!!” she cried, while hanging up the phone, and began sprinting through the crimson and clover to get to the police. She looked behind her for a moment, which was not a very good idea. When she turned around, she saw BDSM galloping on a unicorn, heading straight for her. Bakahhh increased her speed, while looking for a place to hide. The only place she found was a seedy bar, which happened to be in the middle of her crimson and clover field. It was her only hope, so she ran through the turnstile and into the bar. She looked for anyone that was big and strong, anyone to save her from Leatherfaice. She looked and looked, and then she spotted someone. It was Matthew Lush!!! Bakahhh ran over to him and pleaded, “Matthew, please save me from BDSM! He’s scaring me. I’m afraid he’ll kill me.” Matthew replied, “Anything for you, Bakahhh,” making Bakahhh smile. Matthew pulled his cape on, ran after Leatherfaice, and tricked the unicorn into chasing him. Leatherfaice did not get very far. The pole-leece found him tied to a tree with apparent scratch marks from what appeared to be from a unicorn. When Bakahhh saw this on the news, she hugged Matthew. “YOU ARE MAH HERO!!!” she exclaimed. “We should so get married,” she suggested. And they did. Matthew and Bakahhh Lush lived happily ever after.
The end.