The Day You Fell Apart

I stormed angrily out of the kitchen on a dire quest to find Dee, while probably leaving a very confused Tommy boy there behind me. The heels of my boots were clonking on the floor and I was pretty much at an irate state, such as, if anyone were to even think about saying hello to me, I’d probably push them into the wall.

Yeah, I was that mad.

I finally saw Dee who was sitting down on a couch with Brad. They were talking with their faces very close to one another, so close that when they would talk, their lips would touch. I rolled my eyes and approached them abrasively.

“Dee, I want to murder Jonah Simms,” I said bluntly. Dee looked up at me with a confused expression on her face, excused herself from Brad and led me out to the front yard where it was somewhat quiet.

“What’s going on?” She asked as I began pacing back and forth, trying to calm myself down.

“I did what you told me. I flirted with Tommy, but instead of Jonah ‘pooping his pants’ as you would put it, he went and flirted with Jasmine to get back at me! Oooh I just want to slug his face out!”

“Whoa, calm down turbo,” Dee said while placing her hands on my shoulders to keep me in place. I could see my vision blurring, and a small tear etched down my left cheek. “Listen. You can’t just let him get to you like this. He’s just doing what he sees you doing. He’s the one who is an ass hole. Show him that you don’t need him.”

“But I do need him, Dee. That’s the thing,” I replied. “I don’t even understand why I’m here. I don't know what I'm doing. This isn’t me. I don’t play games. I’m not emotional. I don’t cry!”

“Well you obviously cry,” Dee replied with a laugh while wiping my pathetic tears off of my face. She then pulled me into a hug and rested her chin on my shoulder. I sighed and looked straight ahead of me only to see Jonah standing in the doorway of Brad’s house. He wasn’t with Jasmine anymore, thank God, but was all by himself just… looking at me. We hadn’t said a word to each other all night, but I’m sure our facial expressions were probably enough to hint to how we were feeling. But sadly right now, I couldn’t read anything about him. His face was blank. His eyes were emotionless as they met mine. I still had the same question running through my mind that had been in my mind for two weeks. Why? Why was he doing this to me? But I pushed it away as quickly as I pulled myself out of Dee’s hug. I hurriedly wiped the tears from my face and tried my best to smile. I actually began to laugh obnoxiously, which caused Dee to look at me strangely. “Are you okay?” She asked.

“Yes, yes, totally fine. Laugh with me,” I replied and began to laugh some more. Dee scrunched her eyebrows together in bewilderment before turning around to see Jonah still looking over at us.

“Ahh, I see you’re back in the game my little grasshopper,” She remarked happily.

“Oh yes,” I replied. “Now teach me your ways Mr. Miyagi.”

Dee smiled, fixed my make up a little, and linked arms with me. We both headed back towards the party in full determination. Jonah had walked back into the party by now, and I pretended like I didn’t even care to think about where he was (which is a total lie by the way). We walked through the doorway and Dee made her way back to Brad. I began to look around to see if I saw Tommy, but before I could do anything, my arm was yanked and I got pulled into a dark and very small closet.

“What the hell!” I yelled while punching anything I could in sight.

“Jill, stop hitting me,” Jonah said sternly while grabbing my fists and holding them down.

“I’m going to hit anyone I’d like,” I replied angrily. “Especially if they assault me and pull me into a two foot wide closet. Now excuse me but I need to get back to the party.”

I pushed Jonah against the opposite wall (I guess I got to push someone into a wall after all), opened the closet door and walked back into the living room to find Tommy.

Maybe this little game won’t be as hard as I thought.

There’s something about being sober at parties while everyone is drunk or high that makes your annoyance ticker tick even more, if that makes any sense. My annoyance ticker was on full speed at the moment. It was two o’clock in the morning, and everyone had cleared out, except Dee, Brad, Brad’s friend Seth, Seth’s new girlfriend Julia and one of her friends, and of course, what do you know it, Jonah. We were all on the couches in the living room, and everyone was either high or drunk besides me. Jonah’s eyes were glazed over, and his hands held onto the small pipe they were all smoking the weed from. I looked at him with even more disgust than I ever have since I've known him. I know Jonah drinks, duh that’s a given, and I know that Jonah gets high, but he has never had the nerve to actually do it in front of me. Actually, now that I think of it, whenever Jonah is pissed at me, he begins drinking or doing something stupid. But I don’t think anybody could be more pissed at anybody else than how I am with him right now.

Jonah passed the pipe over to Seth, who eagerly took it from his hands. I was almost toppling over from being so tired, but what kept me awake was the fact that I was about 4 feet away from the boy I love. His stupid big brown eyes would occasionally glare over at me, and I would glare back as if we were both five years old. I had been flirting with Tommy all night (which I now feel sort of bad for. I mean I was using him, but he didn’t seem to mind), and I knew that that really set Jonah off, but Jonah had stopped talking to Jasmine all night, which made my efforts at getting him back feel much more meaningless.

“Stop staring,” Jonah said to me with a lazy lopsided smile on his face.

“Stop smoking,” I replied frustratingly. Jonah smiled, took the pipe from Seth’s hand abruptly and put it to his lips. He lit his lighter at the end and inhaled as much as he could from the other end, kept it in, and then exhaled through his nose and his mouth. He then smirked at me mockingly while I shook my head in disgust, got up and walked upstairs to one of Brad’s bedrooms. The smell of weed was already giving me a headache, and if I had to see intoxicated Dee kiss Brad one more time, I think I was gonna throw up. I hate everything to do with drugs and alcohol. They ruined my life for over a year and they’re pointless to me. So to see everyone being stupid was enough to drive me over the edge.

I opened one of the doors from upstairs and plopped myself onto a bed. I’m guessing it was Brad’s parent’s room because it was crazy clean and it smelled like flowers. I smiled into the pillow, but my smile was soon taken off of my face once I heard the bedroom door open behind me. I didn’t even bother turning around.

“Go away, I need sleep,” I mumbled into my pillow.

I felt the bed shift to the side of me, and felt an arm snake around my waist. I turned my body over to see Jonah staring at me carefully.

“What are you-"

“Sshh,” He replied while putting one of his fingers to my lips. He took his hand and traced it along my face and then through my hair, “It’s sleepy time.” He muttered. I just scoffed and tried to move but his grip on my waist held me down. He scooted closer to me until his body was completely against mine and I let out an angry sigh.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. Jonah leaned in and kissed my forehead, and the image of him doing the same thing to Jasmine just a few hours earlier made me cringe. He obviously felt it because he pulled away slightly, with his stupid eyes half open.

“Because I love you.” He replied.

And with that, he fell asleep.