The Day You Fell Apart

Sometimes it’s incredibly hard to wake up and walk away from a lifestyle that you have become so utterly accustomed to. It’s also hard to basically force yourself to come to the realization that you have become completely opposite from who you once were, and it’s going to be ridiculously hard to bring that person back than just staying right where you are.

Predicaments follow everyone everywhere. Everyone always has to make a decision. They can either choose this or that. I can either choose to live in this small bubble that I’ve called my life for the past year, or I can go out and experience the summer before my last year of high school with my fullest and complete enthusiasm. But part of me feels that no matter what I choose, I won’t be as happy as I was over a year ago. I can’t go back to being the bubbly, sarcastic and friendly Jillianne Montgomery. The one who would always get angry when teachers would read her name off of a paper and pronounce it ‘Jill-ee-en” instead of the correctly pronounced ‘Jill-ee-anne”. The one who would speak her mind. The one who would laugh at jokes that weren’t even funny, just to make the other person who was telling those jokes feel somewhat good about themselves. The one who was Class President. The one who was in love with Evan.

It’s crazy how one simple movement in life can turn everything around. One small mistake can change everything in so many people’s lives.

And still, to this day, I feel like I should be the one 6 feet underground. I should have been the one who received the consequence from her stupid actions. But instead, my boyfriend did. And to this day I can’t forgive myself.

“Jill!” I heard a sing song voice say from outside my door.

“I. Need. Sleep!” I yelled back and pulled my blankets over my head. But of course, that would never stop Debra Jane Conelly. Dee opened the door and practically catapulted herself onto my bed.

“Time to rise and shine! The birds are chirping. The sun is out and I’m in quite a chipper mood this morning,” Dee exclaimed while jumping up and down on my bed

“What are you, five?” I asked and dug my face into my pillow.

“Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Dee stated and got up off of my bed. I sat up and pulled my brown hair into a low ponytail.

“Hmm, that’s because this certain someone was woken up by their moronic best friend jumping on top of her,” I replied.

“You know you liked it,” Dee replied while walking to my closet. Her long wavy blonde hair was falling down her back and I couldn't help but stare and be envious of it. I used to have long hair, but then I was stupid and cut it off and now it’s probably about three inches past my shoulders. But it was a good, medium, length. So I was okay with it.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Taking you to the annual summer street fair of course!” She replied while bobbing up and down on her heels.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “Like are you sure you aren’t on drugs this morning or something?”

“I’m on happy drugs,” Dee replied. “Now put this on. It’s like, scorching outside.” She added while throwing me a loose and long striped dark black and white shirt and a pair of cut off jean shorts.

“Dee, we haven’t been to the street fair since we were 12 when we finally realized how lame it was. Why are we deciding to go now?” I asked.

“Because apparently people re-looked its lameness, and now they think it’s not so lame. So hence, it’s not so lame anymore.”

“You’re so weird,” I muttered. Dee walked into my bathroom that was conjoined with my bedroom and turned on my hair straightener. She then walked back inside my bedroom and faced me.

“I’ll be downstairs entertaining your mother and your father,” She stated. “I’ll be back up in 20 minutes, and you better be looking hot by then.”

She then walked out of my bedroom and closed the door, leaving me sitting on my bed with clothes all over me.

“Ah, can you just smell summer already?!” Dee exclaimed as we walked down the packed street of the street fair. It was about 90 degrees outside and I was burning up. Kids were running around everywhere and a huge group of middle school girls who all looked like clones walked by us. I rolled my eyes and looked back up at Dee.

“No, but I can definitely feel it,” I replied while taking an exhausted breath. Weather was just not fun in the summer.

“Yeah and it feels good,” Dee remarked. “It’s so cool how school is ending in a week. We’re going to be seniors next year. We’ve taken our SAT’s. We’ve gone through the hard AP classes. It’s time to just relax and live.” She added.

I just laughed at her as we walked to stand in line at a lemonade booth.

“Ah those all just look so good,” I stated while admiring the wide collection of different types of lemonades that stood before us.

“Are you feeling Cherry? Strawberry? Whatever that gross green one is?” Dee asked. I laughed and bit my lip, trying to decide.

“You can never go wrong with just the regular lemonade,” I heard someone say behind me. I turned around to see no one other than the boy I shared a small conversation with a few days prior. Jonah. He was with a few guys I recognized from my school, but they were all about to graduate.

“Good idea,” Dee replied and ordered our lemonades. I turned to look at Jonah who had a small smirk upon his face.

“So you really weren’t kidding about us talking again,” I stated. Jonah nodded while I just gave out a small smile.

Once Dee grabbed the lemonades, she turned towards the three boys and smiled.

“Brad, Seth, and guy I don’t know from the senior ditch day party, hello!” She remarked while smiling.

“Hey Dee. Jill,” Brad said. I smiled back and let out a small wave. I then looked at Seth who just nodded at Dee and I. Jonah’s eyes stayed on me, and I finally looked over in his direction. He didn’t stop staring though.

“There better be something on my face or else I’m going to token you as a complete creeper,” I stated. Jonah just grinned in return and turned towards his two friends who were now getting lemonade also. Dee was talking to the two, which left Jonah and I off to the side just standing by one another. “So, you gonna answer the question?” I asked.

“What question?” Jonah asked while taking a cigarette out of a pack from his pocket. I scrunched up my face in disapproval while looking up at him.

“Ew,” I stated.

“Am I sensing some hostility towards my cigarettes?” He asked and chuckled.

“How could you even smoke them when it’s like a million degrees outside?” I asked. Jonah just shrugged in return and I sighed loudly. “I’ve seen you before, somewhere.” I muttered. Jonah blew smoke out of his mouth and turned his gaze towards me.

“Really now?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “I can’t really figure out where or when or anything, but I know I have.” I added. Jonah laughed a little while tapping the heel of his shoe on the ground.

“Impossible,” He replied. “I just moved here a month ago.”

“Oh,” I remarked and looked down at the ground. I then looked to my left to see Dee, Brad and Seth walking towards us.

“Dude, let’s go on the Ferris wheel!” Dee exclaimed while grabbing my hand. “How cool is it that there’s a Ferris wheel here?” She then turned towards the three boys and grinned. “Want to come?” She asked. I was just about to interject her with a ‘No, I’m sure they wouldn’t want to’ but I was interrupted by Jonah.

“Sure,” He replied. I looked up at him while he just smirked back at me. I glared at him as us five made our way to the Ferris wheel.

“You want to go on with me, Dee?” Brad asked. Dee smiled and nodded while I just widened my eyes in horror. I looked over at Seth who seemed a little distracted talking to a few girls I knew from my English class. I looked over at Jonah who just smiled in return.

“I guess it’s just me and you, kid,” Jonah said. I just rolled my eyes while sucking on the straw of my lemonade.

“Oh, I dare you to call me kid one more time,” I replied.

Dee and Brad sat down in the seat in front of us and Jonah and I sat behind them. Once I sat down I immediately screamed.

“Ah, these seats are so hot!” I screeched. Jonah just laughed at me and I immediately glared at him and tried my best to sit back down. “How could you be wearing jeans today? It’s so hot!” I complained.

“Shorts are for squares,” He stated and shrugged. The Ferris wheel began to move upward and I immediately grabbed one of the sides of the huge metal seat we were sitting on.

“So you’re saying I’m a square?” I asked while taking another sip of my lemonade.

“Yep,” Jonah replied. I just grunted in response.

“You’re kind of annoying,” I muttered.

“You kind of look like you’re five years old,” Jonah replied. I turned towards him and raised my eyebrows.

I usually got this from a lot of people. People would always remark on the fact that I’m small. I’m an average height, 5’4’’, but I’m just a petite girl. I usually didn’t take any remarks seriously, but when Jonah said it, it somehow made me really angry.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Well, come on, you have to admit that you definitely don’t look your age,” He replied. We finally got to the top and the ride stopped for a brief moment. The somewhat cool wind was blowing through both of our hair and I looked over at Jonah who was looking right back at me. I had to admit, he was very good looking. In a ‘I totally know that I’m good looking' way, which in my opinion, made him less good looking.

“Well atleast I don’t look like I haven’t taken a shower in a week,” I replied angrily. Jonah put a hand over his heart and scrunched his face up a little.

“That hurts, kid,” He replied.

“Don’t call me kid!” I yelled back.

“Aw, what are you going to do?” Jonah asked, obviously entertained.

“If you keep this up, I’m going to pour this lemonade on you,” I retorted. The Ferris wheel began to move downward indicating that the ride was almost done. Jonah just raised an eyebrow at me and I almost wanted to scream. “Or I can punch you in the face for being an ass hole, either one.” I added.

“Those are both pretty rough!” Jonah replied sarcastically. I opened up the lid of my lemonade cup and Jonah just looked at me, still amused.

“After I do what I’m about to do, if we ever run into each other again, never ever talk to me,” I remarked. And with that, to both of our surprise, I poured the lemonade all over Jonah. Jonah sat up in his seat a little and widened his eyes.

The ride came to a stop and I immediately stepped out but stopped and turned towards Jonah. I laughed a little before admiring his somewhat unfortunate yet sexyish self, covered in lemonade.

“Don’t underestimate the little people, Jonah,” I stated, grabbed Dee and walked away.