Silence Says Shorts

Story from Noah’s POV, chapter 1

As soon as the car came to a stop in the camp parking lot, Noah climbed out and slammed the door behind himself without so much as a glance in his father's direction. An hour and a half of ignoring his father on the way over hadn't cooled his anger any. The lock on the boot clicked open and Noah retrieved his bag.

Of course, he wasn't entirely sure his father had noticed he was being ignored. His father had spoken plenty, about how his company war faring in the stock market and about plans for this quarter. If anything, he'd seemed pleased to be able to talk without interruption.

Noah wished he could just part ways with his father for the rest of the summer now, but they still needed to check in and get the key to Noah's cabin.

Noah was seventeen and three quarter years and, in his opinion, much too old for summer camp. He'd already graduated high school, for fucks sake. Technically still a minor, though, and so technically still under his father's command for a few more months. He supposed summer camp wasn't such a terrible fate. He wouldn't have to be around his father, and that was definitely a good thing.

After slinging his bag over his shoulder, Noah strolled off in the direction indicated by a sign labelled 'main office', trusting his father would follow behind him.

So no, summer camp itself wasn't such a terrible fate. It just felt like losing. He'd been determined to give his father as much hell about his decision to marry a younger woman as his father had given him about being gay. It was only fair. Summer camp had been his father's response.

Once they entered the pleasantly air conditioned office, Noah hung back and let his father deal with reception. This place had been expensive as hell, but Noah was glad to see there were no signs of snootiness. The receptionist was wearing jeans, something that probably would have gotten you shot at his father's fucking golf club.

Noah picked up brochures, stared down at their glossy covers, returned them to their places without even processing the text on them. He didn't turn around until he heard the jangle of keys.

"...And here is his cabin key," the receptionist was saying. "Cabin 2C. Go out the door and turn left. You should find it soon enough if you keep walking."

Though the heat of the day hit him like a furnace as he pushed the door open, Noah was glad to be out of the office. Glad, because he was closer to being free of his father.

When Noah reached out a hand of the keys, though, his father held them away. "For what I'm paying, this cabin had better be as described. Do you want me to come with you to check for anything unacceptable?"

No, because you'll find something unimportant and make it a big deal. No, because fuck you go away. No, because... "No."

"Do try to be civil, Noah. Where did I go wrong with you?" When Noah just stared back at him icily, his father sighed. "Well, hopefully a couple of months away will give you time to relearn your social skills."

This time when Noah made a grab for the keys, his father let him take them.

"Now, this is a rather exclusive camp, so I expect there will be youngsters here with some good breeding. This might be a good opportunity to do some networking, to—"

"Bye," Noah said as he turned and walked away in the direction the receptionist had indicated.

As expected, Noah's father did not follow them. Slowly, as he walked in the direction of his new home for the summer, Noah began to relax.

The cabins were laid out in rows and had great big yellow plaques next to the doors with a letter and number on them. 2A, 2B... ah, 2C.

Noah was on the path to calm, but he hadn't reached it yet, so when he opened the cabin door he let it swing open with a bang.

His new cabinmate, a boy with brown hair and baggy clothing perhaps a little younger than Noah’s own age, fell down onto his bed with a start and brought his hands up to cover his ears against the loud sound. It seemed a bit of an overreaction.

As Noah headed for the other bed he watched the boy, and the boy watched him back with wide brown eyes.

Noah did his best to force a smile, but the boy just dropped his gaze down to the bed.

Okay, Noah was making a bad first impression. He was usually pretty good with people.

"Noah," he introduced himself.

The boy didn't move, didn't respond, for several seconds, and then, "Oh. Toby."

Noah made a sound of acknowledgement and emptied his bag onto his bed. "So, what are you in for?"

Toby looked up, his expression not shifting as he stared at Noah. "What?"

Was this kid on drugs? He was a little odd. "Why are you here? You don't look any more excited about this whole camp thing than I am."

"Oh," Toby said again, his voice just as inflectionless as ever. "Because nobody wants me around."

Well, Noah could certainly relate to that. He grinned. "Hey, me too!"

Toby just stared back until Noah gave up and returned to unpacking.

Okay, so his new cabinmate was a little strange. Definitely not what Noah had been hoping for. Noah had fantasised about entering the cabin to find his new cabinmate, fresh out of the shower and with tanned skin and a swimmer's body, half way through getting dressed. They would grin at each other knowingly as their eyes met, and the rest of the summer would involve a lot of naked touching.

Toby was pretty much the exact opposite of that. Pale, skinny, fully clothed, and seemingly completely disinterested in Noah. He was kind of cute, though, in his own way.

By the time Noah was done unpacking, Toby was curled up on his bed reading a book. Noah had been hit enough times by his friend Amanda to know better than to disrupt someone while they were reading, so he flopped down on his bed and texted Emery instead.

Woo camp.

As usual, it took Emery less than ten seconds to respond. ur there? is your cabinmate hot?

Cute is more the word, Noah texted back.

A few seconds later, Emery replied. aww puppy cute or would bang cute?

Both, maybe.

ur a sick man, Emery responded.

He's a bit odd, but I can't help but want to hug him.

dont blame me if he bites, Emery sent back.

Noah had been shuffled through three different schools in his senior year, and he'd met Amanda and Emery at the last of them. He'd been moved out of the first one when his father had come home to find him half naked on top of the captain of the soccer team, and then out of the second, an all boy's school, when Noah proven to be too popular.

The last school was extremely religious, a smart move on his father's part because Emery was the only other guy there brave enough to come out. Not that Emery could ever have stayed in the closet even if he'd wanted to. Everything about him was gay, from the way he walked to the way he talked. The two of them had tried to get something started just because it would have been convenient, but they hadn't gotten past the kissing stage before admitting they were completely unattracted to one another. That was okay. As Emery always said, everyone needed a sassy gay friend even if they were already gay themselves.

A bell rang indicating lunchtime a while later, and Noah hauled himself out of bed and stretched. Toby carefully marked his place in his book and set it aside on his nightstand before leaving the cabin with Noah.

Noah didn't really know how to talk to Toby or what about, so for now he didn't try. Toby seemed to be fine with that. He kept his head down, but his eyes darted around as every movement and sound drew his attention.

Toby entered the cafeteria ahead of Noah, and then immediately tensed up and drew to an abrupt stop. Noah prodded him in the back until he kept moving, shoulders hunched against the press of people.

It was a relief to find that they actually had decent food here, both in selection and quality. Being shuffled through schools had taught him that there was a lot of variation, even in places that were supposed to have high standards. Noah heaped fries and chicken nuggets onto his plate, and then followed Toby, who had taken nothing but a cup of fruit salad, over to an empty table.

"No wonder you're so skinny," Noah commented, and then when Toby just stared he gestured towards Toby's fruit salad with his plastic fork.

Toby shifted his gaze to his food, considered it for a moment, and then folded his arms on the table and buried his face in them.

"Hmm," Noah said. There was definitely something up with this kid, Noah just wasn't sure what.

Around about the time Noah finished eating, the head counselor stood up in front of the cafeteria and gave them instructions on where to go for their activities. Toby didn't so much as lift his head.

Noah tried saying Toby's name and then, when he didn't respond, tugged him up by his arm. He went without resistance. Noah took hold of his wrist and led him towards the cafeteria doors. He seemed too out of it to make his own path through the crowd.

There was a counselor watching people as they went through the doors, and when Noah tried to lead Toby past he held out a hand to stop them. "No food outside of the cafeteria."

Toby stared down at the cup of fruit salad in his hand as though it perplexed him, but didn't otherwise respond.

"Well?" the counselor asked.

"Just let him take it, man," Noah said. "He hasn't eaten yet."

"That was his decision. Next time perhaps he'll make a better one."

Toby finally reacted, holding the fruit salad out for the counselor to take. Once it was out of his possession, they were allowed to pass. Noah headed out across the grass towards their activity on the other side of camp, and Toby trailed behind him.

Noah was seriously starting to wonder if Toby was on drugs. He'd considered that Toby might just be really depressed at first, which would have explained the lethargy and flat affect well enough. It was a lot more than that, though, the way every interaction seemed to confuse Toby. Noah didn't really know the first thing about drugs or their effects, of course, but he at least couldn't rule it out.

It came as a surprise when Toby bent and picked up a pinecone, and then began pulling the scales off of it. Noah had thought Toby was too out of it to interact with the world around him, but now that he had his pinecone he picked at it with intense focus.

When they reached the clearing where their activity was to take place, Toby barely glanced up at the gathering of other boys before going to lean against a tree and returning his focus to his pinecone.

Noah hovered around Toby for a few minutes, but ultimately decided he would probably be okay on his own and went to find some more lively company. He spotted a few other boys playing a game of hacky sack and approached them.

"Mind if I join?" he asked the group. With a few shrugs and murmurs of affirmation, they made room for him in the circle.

"I'm Mark," said the boy next to him without taking his eyes off of the hacky sack. He had light brown skin and coiled black hair that stuck up from his head like springs.

"Noah."

The sound of a whistle interrupted their game and they all turned to face the camp counselor.

"Okay, boys, we're going to do trust falls!" the camp counselor shouted. "Can I get a volunteer?" One of the boys raised his hand, and the counselor beckoned him over. "Okay, come here, let's show everyone how it's done."

Noah knew what trust falls were, but he watched the demonstration anyway. The boy crossed his arms over his chest and let himself fall backwards, and the counselor caught him. Given the counselor probably weighed twice as much as the boy, they didn't try reversing their positions.

"Want to be with me?" Mark asked when it came time to get into groups.

"Uh, sure," Noah said. His eyes wandered to Toby, but he hadn't even looked up from his pinecone. Noah turned back to Mark. "Know anyone who can be our third?"

"Maybe my cabinmate," Mark said as he glanced around the group. "Oh, nope, he's taken. Uh..."

"Hey!" the counselor shouted, drawing Noah's attention away from their search for a third group member. "Are you going to participate or are you just going to stand there?"

Noah looked up to find the counselor's attention on Toby and winced. This was not going to go well.

The angry authority figure before Toby drew his attention away from his pinecone for only a moment before he ducked his head back down and continued picking at it. There was tension in his shoulders now, though, and his fingers moved with renewed agitation.

"Toby, come on, I'll do it with you," Noah said as he approached in an attempt to diffuse the situation before is escalated further, but Toby didn't respond.

"Unless you have a medical certificate, you have to participate," the counselor said as he stepped closer to Toby.

Toby tensed and gave a full body squirm, but didn't look up. Unfortunately what Noah read as distress, the counselor interpreted as rebellion.

"You can go up to administration if you don't feel like cooperating," the counselor persisted.

Toby leant his body forward and then rocked back against the tree, repeating the action again and again as he built a steady rhythm. His strangeness was fast becoming blatant, and it was drawing attention.

"Is he retarded?" Noah heard someone ask, but when he whipped his head around he couldn't identify who had spoken. He felt oddly defensive of Toby considering they’d only just met a couple of hours ago.

The counselor didn't seem to know what to do with this change of events, so Noah approached Toby and spoke to him gently. "Toby, it's not a big deal."

"No!" Toby shouted, startling Noah with his volume. "No."

"Is he your cabinmate?" the counselor asked Noah, suddenly looking more than a little uncomfortable, and Noah nodded. "Take him back to your cabin."

Noah's mind buzzed as he led Toby back to their cabin. What the hell had that been? Not drugs, he was sure of that now. Whatever was up with Toby, it ran much deeper than that. Not retarded, like whatever that asshole back there had said. As far as Noah could tell, Toby wasn't lacking in intelligence. But... something. Definitely something.

"Do you want to tell me what just happened?" Noah asked as soon as they entered their cabin, his voice coming out more annoyed than he'd intended.

Toby sat down on the wooden floorboards and began tugging his shoe laces undone. "No."

Noah let out a sigh of frustration and rubbed a hand over his face. "Fine."

Noah had to bite back the real question he wanted to ask — what is wrong with you? He shook his head and headed for the door. He needed space before he took his feelings out on Toby.

Noah probably should have gone back to the activity, but he needed room to think, to cool off. Toby was proving to be an awfully long way from Noah's fantasy cabinmate. If Toby hadn't been so distant, had been willing to open up to Noah... but that wasn't fair. They'd only just met. It was just frustrating to see him hurting so much and be unable to help.

Noah sighed as he wandered along the footpath leading to the main office, no particular goal in mind. Perhaps, despite Toby's refusal to talk to him, there were other ways Noah could help. If the situation from earlier ever repeated itself, maybe he could diffuse things before Toby became so distressed.

It wasn't until Noah spotted the vending machines tucked between the administration buildings that he remembered Toby hadn't eaten. He approached them and browsed their selection with a critical eye. All junk food, of course. Not exactly ideal if Toby was actually hungry, but better than nothing.

Had he brought his wallet, though? No, he remembered considering it and then deciding that bringing it would have been stupid, because what could you buy at summer camp? Noah let out a huff of frustration, but then another memory came back, one of his father handing him several notes before they got into the car. 'Spending money,' his father had said, and Noah had pocketed them without comment.

Noah reached into his pocket and found the money still there. The odd mix of tens, twenties, and dollar notes suggested his father had just grabbed a random selection from his wallet without much consideration. All together there was almost sixty dollars. Money was something his father had always been generous with.

Noah had no idea what Toby actually liked, so he selected what he deemed to be the most popular items. A bag of plain chips, a can of coke, and a Mars Bar. He gathered the items and headed back in the direction of their cabin.

Remembering the way Toby had reacted the to Noah slamming the door open the first time he'd entered the cabin, Noah made sure to open the door quietly this time. Toby, sitting on his bed, clamped his hands over his ears, but when Noah shut the door just as carefully he allowed them to drop back down onto his lap.

Toby had a book, and it was only when Noah got closer that he realised it was a book of sudoku puzzles. Noah had never really gotten either how to do those or why people found them fun.

Noah waited patiently next to Toby's bed for Toby to acknowledge him, but Toby just kept staring down at his sudoku book. Noah gave up and dropped the vending machine food down onto the bed in front of him.

Toby picked the food up and arranged it into a row, and then stared down at it like it was full of as many puzzles as his book.

"The 'no food outside the cafeteria' rule doesn't apply to overpriced vending machine food," Noah explained. "Funny that."

"Oh," Toby said, his voice flat, and continued staring at the food. Noah fidgeted uncomfortably. Had this been the wrong move?

"I wasn't sure what you'd like," Noah said. "They have some different ones if you want..."

"Thank you," Toby said, and finally reached for the food.

As Toby sorted through the items, Noah tapped a nervous rhythm on the wooden sideboard of the bed. Now would be a good time to try and ask about what had happened, wouldn't it? Or would that only ruin the small amount of peace that was now between them?

"Would you like some?" Toby asked, holding up the chocolate bar and bag of chips. Noah's gut tightened when their eyes met for an instant. No, not good. Bad Noah. Do not get a crush.

"No, I'm good," Noah said once Toby had dropped his gaze again. "So you're feeling better?"

Toby made a small sound and nodded his head, but his attention was on opening the chocolate bar. The conversation was over, it seemed. Noah wasn't even sure it had ever begun. He sighed and headed back to his bed. This was stupid. He wasn't even sure what 'this' was exactly, but it was definitely stupid.

Noah sat down on his bed and pulled out his mobile phone. This is stupid, he texted to Emery.

ur stupid, Emery sent back a few seconds later.

Noah found it hard to disagree.

"Do you want me to pay you back?" Toby asked suddenly, halfway through eating the chocolate bar. He was concerned, Noah realised. Confused.

Noah waved a dismissive hand. "Nah, it was just... I thought you might be hungry. My dad gave me spending money because he's an idiot who didn't even look at the brochure. Yeah, Dad, there's going to be a gift shop at the summer camp."

Toby didn't respond, just continued eating his food.

Noah's phone buzzed again and he glanced down at Emery's latest message. u bang the cute kid yet?

He does his best to avoid even looking at me, Noah sent back. I think banging is well off the table.

u could always put a bag over ur head while u do it if ur ugly face bothers him that much.

Fuck you, you know I'm pretty.

mav says i have to stop txting you now, Emery sent back. geez noah ruining the mood here.

Noah snorted. His real name is Brian, you know. He's a 30 year old lawyer. He actually convinced you to call him Maverick?

hes very convincing, Emery replied. i would show you but he wont let me take pics.

Ew.

ok bye have fun not getting laid.

Noah sighed and tossed his phone down on his bed. He could only blame himself for those two meeting. Brian worked for his father, after all.

Noah glanced around the small cabin in search of entertainment. Nothing. Well, except for Toby. He'd finished the chocolate bar and moved onto the chips, sipping at the coke after every few bites. He looked more or less calm now.

"Want to go for a walk?" Noah asked. "There's a lake."

"No," Toby said so quickly it was clear he hadn't given the offer even a moment's consideration.

Noah shrugged and pushed himself off the bed. "Well, I'm going. Maybe you can come next time?"

"Maybe," Toby said, though it was hard to tell if he actually meant it or he was just trying to placate Noah.

It was a relief to leave the stifling confines of the small room, to be out beneath the summer sun where he belonged. If he hadn't annoyed his father enough to get sent away to camp he would have been stuck inside doing an internship for his father's company, so now that he had accepted his situation he had to admit this was the preferable option. He was just sick of being controlled, having his every action dictated by his father. As soon as he turned eighteen he'd be out of there and he wouldn't look back.

Noah had memorised the map of the camp he'd found online, but it still took him a while to locate the path through the trees signposted as leading to the lake. It could be difficult to navigate with so many trees and so few landmarks visible through them. He wished he could have convinced Toby to go with him. Could Toby have enjoyed something like this, an idle walk with just the two of them and no pressures of expectations weighing him down? Noah honestly didn't know. He knew almost nothing about Toby.

The lake was bigger than Noah had expected, a flat sheet of water reflecting the bright blue of the sky. He was tempted to simply strip down and go for a swim in it. The activities had officially ended now, though, and the other boys were moving around freely. Noah spotted Mark further down the bank, involved in a game of something vaguely resembling soccer, and grinned as he jogged over to join him.

#

It wasn't until the mosquitoes came out that Noah realised it was getting late and waved his goodbye to the rest of the boys. He didn't notice Mark follow him until he fell into step at his side.

"Should be time for dinner," Mark said. "You going straight to the cafeteria?"

Noah shook his head. "Nah. Gotta check on Toby and see if he wants to come."

"Oh. Your cabinmate?"

"Yeah."

Mark made a face as he squatted at a mosquito. "He okay?"

"Yeah, he's just not too happy about being here," Noah said.

Technically that was true, but it was pretty obvious that wasn't the extent of it. That wasn't something he felt right talking about behind Toby's back, though.

"That sucks," Mark said. "Maybe he's just not used to being away from home? I go to boarding school, though, so I'm used to this."

"Oh yeah? What's that like?"

Noah nodded along as Mark talked, glad to have moved onto a safer topic. By the time they arrived back at the cabins, it was nearly full dark. Mark waited outside while Noah went into his cabin to fetch Toby.

The lights were off in the cabin when Noah entered, and Toby was curled up on his bed. Noah was just about to shut the door and leave when Toby squirmed and rolled over to face the door, his eyes opening to watch Noah.

"Coming to dinner?" Noah asked.

"Ngh," Toby said. "No."

"Hmm," Noah said, and made sure that when he shut the door behind himself he did it quietly.

"He not coming?" Mark asked as Noah wandered back towards him.

Noah shook his head. "He's having an early night."

Noah was grateful when Mark just nodded and changed the subject to favourite sports teams.
There was no point in going back to their cabin with Toby already asleep, so Noah dawdled in the cafeteria until it closed and then followed Mark back to his cabin. Mark's cabinmate was fourteen and more interested in a game on his phone than he was in Noah or Mark. When they all caught a case of the infectious yawns, Noah decided it was time to leave.

Noah was careful not to wake Toby as he entered the cabin and stripped down to his boxers for bed. He let out a satisfied sigh as he settled in under the blankets. Today hadn't been so bad. Tomorrow, he was determined, would be better.