On Mute

Chapter 17: Kyoya Lets His Emotions Out

Haruhi's POV

We all wanted to check on Asuna at the church. And when I mean 'we' I mean me trying to force everyone to follow me to check on her. I hoped she was alright. . . She hasn't talked to us since in the hospital when she wanted us to give a funeral for her sister.

I felt awful for her. Her own sister tried to kill her because she killed her family, and yet Asuna still loved her because she was the only family she had left. Her life must've been so miserable without someone to rely on. I really got to talk with her. I had to get things straight.

The limo screeched to a stop and we all hopped out. Kyoya opened the door slightly but he stopped. I gave him a confused look, not knowing what was going on.

"What is it, Kyoya-senpai?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"This," he then opened the door wider and pointed to a shiny object wedged into the wooden door. I gasped, and so did some of the others.

"What do you think happened, Kyoya?" Tamaki asked.

"I'm not sure, but whatever it was wasn't anything good." he stated. I pondered about the knife for a moment, thinking of conclusions that could've happened. She did mention some things about two men. . . and her sister, but she's dead. I gasped, earning looks to explain.

"You idiot, Kyoya-senpai! Those men that were after her!" I shouted.

"Natsume and Kaito?" he questioned.

"Yeah, and I bet they were here too! Do you think that they kidnapped her?" I asked. He looked at me doubtfully.

"Not really, and even if they did, what does it matter?" he questioned, walking inside the building like we haven't even talked. Why doesn't he care about anything but himself?! That selfish, conceited bastard!

"Kyoya-senpai, we have to find her!" I yelled.

"And if we don't?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Come on, guys! We have to find her!" I shouted, pulling onto Tamaki's arm. Everyone sighed at me except for Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai. We all ran outside, me in the lead as we ran around, calling for Asuna's name. It would've seemed like hours until if I hadn't spotted something lying on a hill where the night was fading around the sun that was dawning down.

"Look, guys! What do you think that is?" I asked.

"Only one way to find out, Haruhi." Tamaki stated proudly as he charged up from the gravestones of the cemetery to the hill. I quickly followed behind to see what it was. Tamaki and I gasped in surprised when we saw Asuna lying on the grass, blood seeping through the sweater shirt with a knife stuck inside. She wasn't breathing. She was obviously dead.

"H-Haruhi. . . Do you think they did it?" he asked me, not believing his eyes. It was hard believing mine too. Did those men do this to her?

"I don't think so, Tamaki. Look at her hands." her hands were covered in her own blood. The scent was still fresh, and that meant it wasn't too long ago when it happened.

"Do you think she did this on herself?" he asked. Why would Asuna commit suicide just like that? Why would she do that to herself? What would she gain from this?

"I think she has," I muttered. The others were now catching up behind us.

"Haruhi, what's the matter? Is that Asuna-chan?" Honey asked. I couldn't face him like this. All I could think about was Asuna. Why would she do this to herself?

Wait a minute. . . now I get it.

"Baka's. We're all baka's." I stated. Everyone turned to face me instead of her dead corpse. I turned to face them all as well. "Don't you get it? I know why Asuna killed herself, and it was a very good reason too, if you all haven't figured it out. We all did this to her." Hikaru and Kaoru's face fell, their head facing their feet in shame, now knowing what I was talking about.

"We're bad people. Our job was to please all women, and we screwed it up for her. We couldn't please one women, and we failed. This is our fault." they said in sync. It's like they freaking practice talking about syncing together?!

"With the help of Kyoya," Tamaki lowered his head as well. "Tamaki, you should be ashamed yourself for this as well. It was everyone's fault, minus Honey and Mori-senpai."

"No, ours as well. We all agreed with Kyoya to leave her alone and don't be around her. We could've saved her and she could've had some cake as well. She never had any cake. . ." Honey whispered, tears shedding down his cheeks. Mori patted his head in comfort.

"I think Kyoya hit a big gap in there." Mori stated. We all faced Kyoya, who looked expressionless. He didn't even mutter a word.

"It wasn't my fault I didn't know exactly who the men were. They just said they had information on her and they needed her back. I agreed and took the information, no harm done." he said casually. This was really irking me.

"No harm done?! Kyoya-senpai! You also didn't let be around her, and none of us could help her when she was attacked by her sister! You didn't do anything-"

"Can we stop blaming people?" Tamaki asked, putting a hand on my shoulder for me to stop shouting at everyone. I sighed in defeat, pushing his arm off.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Now, listen here. This is all our faults and we should stop blaming each other. We all made a mistake and we can't do anything to change what we done. We must face our consequences." Tamaki stated. I sighed, looking down at my feet in shame.

"This is all our faults. What can we do? We caused her death, and now she's dead because of us. What can we do now? Nothing, we can't save her. She's dead and we all are the ones to be blamed. . ." I muttered.

"We were so terrible to her," Hikaru whispered.

"We only made herself feel worse by calling her out," Kaoru breathed.

"We should make a funeral for her as well," I stated, gaining some looks in agreement.

"Haru-chan, can we place some pretty flowers on it too?" Honey asked.

"Of course," I replied. Mori picked up her bloody corpse and carried Asuna all the way down the church as Kyoya called some people to clean her up for a proper burial. The next day smoothly and quickly passed by, and everyone was dressed in dark shades of greys and black.

We stood around the gravestone, each of of us holding a boutique of flowers, even Kyoya which surprised me. Asuna was already six feet under, and you could see that everyone was crying, but Kyoya didn't have the sense in him to feel it. The words etched into her gravestone in nice, respectful words:

~ Asuna Shitome ~

Born in May 18th, 1997 Died on September 12th, 2013 (I had to make a random year. I didn't know when it would take place so I made it this year. . .)

~ Who never gave up on love when she wasn't loved back by anyone~

There was complete silence except for the sobbing from Honey-senpai. He placed his white roses down on her grave and cuddled into Mori for comfort as it started to rain, and we all threw up our umbrellas into the night sky. I finally broke the silence.

"How about a few words in respect?" I sobbed as tears were down my cheeks also. I looked at each one of them, and Kyoya didn't even shed a tear. They all nodded in agreement and I took out a loud breath. "Tamaki, why don't you start." I insisted.

"A-alright," he stuttered as the tears were overwhelming his emotions and causing him to break down. "A-Asuna was always a quiet girl who didn't know how to express herself truthfully. She hid some secrets from us, and things went downhill since Kyoya needed the information, which made a big conflict. She opened out little by little, but her walls then began crashing down. She couldn't control it, til she committed s-suicide to end her suffering." he finished as he nodded towards the twins, wanting them to speak.

"Asuna wasn't a bright child," Hikaru began.

"And she wasn't loved by anyone, not even us who left her out to rot. . . She never truly liked us either, but if we would've smiled and acted kindly towards her, this wouldn't have have happened." Kaoru stated.

"She was really creative, and had style into art. That's all we knew of what she liked. We never dared to ask her is she was happy, or if she wanted to make friends. We never truly understood her as well, which that made us separate." they finished in unison. "Honey, Mori."

"Asuna was a pretty girl, who never ate any cake. She probably didn't even have any cake for years, which must've been really sad. No sweets! I liked her new haircut, even if it wasn't really a haircut, but she had a pretty voice when she finally spoke out to us, too and she was really-"

"You're ranting, Honey." Mori put a hand on his mouth stopping him. Honey looked down in embarrassment before Mori began to speak. "Asuna had a kind soul, even if she never knew what it was like to had real friends, and we took that away from her. You go, Kyoya."

"I never really liked Asuna, even if she did or she didn't, I didn't like the strange feeling that she was giving me. I hated that feeling and so I put that feeling on her since I didn't know what that emotion was, and I don't want to continue on with this so I'll go home now-" I gasped.

"You liked her! You just put your hatred in your mind instead of how you truly felt! You actually liked her, but you took the chance away by breaking her heart! You didn't let her near us for a reason. You were jealous!" I gaped in shock and astonishment. His face went red, like he was showing the truth but wasn't saying anything.

"Y-you're wrong. I don't have feelings for Asuna, and even if I did, she's dead." Kyoya shook his head vigorously. "It's your turn, Haruhi." he was trying to change the subject just so we would forget about his crush for Asuna who was already dead. I sighed, letting it go anyways. It was her death day and I was disrespecting it.

"Asuna was a difficult person to handle. She didn't get along with us well, and we all just pushed her away. She wanted the friends, but she knew she couldn't trust us fearing that we would give her up and push her back down, probably like everyone else would too if they knew. We were too stubborn and blinded to know that too. Even when we found out about her past the hard way, it didn't end the way it should've gone. . .

"We still miss-treated her and we said harsh things to her as well. She was only there for a few days when we were actually nice, well, less than 48 hours at the most. We treated her like our friend, but when Kyoya took her identity and gave it up, we all treated her like crap, without thinking of our actions. . . when similar things happened to us as well. We all lost what was ours, and we just gave her up. We should've gave her more hope." I finished, averting my eyes to each and every one of them, each of them crying and Kyoya even, but only shed a single tear.

"I'm sorry, everyone. It was mainly my fault, and I let my emotions take over me. It was my fault that she died. I didn't mean that this would happen so suddenly, and it hasn't even been two weeks yet. I'm sorry. . ." Kyoya apologized. I smiled, but looked back down at Asuna's grave.

"I think you should mainly be apologizing to Asuna. . ." I whispered.

"You're right." he stated. He then dropped his umbrella to the ground, making us all gasp to what he was about to do next. He dropped to his knees at her grave, bowing in do respect before raising his head up to the sky. The rain was pounding harder and Kyoya looked soaked.

"Kyoya, you'll get a cold if you-" I put a hand over Tamaki's mouth before he could continue to blabber on. I glared at Tamaki.

"Just shut up and watch, senpai." I told him and he obeyed, watching Kyoya to what he was doing. We all stared at him as he let out a battle cry of a scream, and it made me really confused. What was wrong with Kyoya?

"ASUNA!!" he yelled. What was he feeling for her? Had he truly changed his heart after her death and is feeling the loss and pain since she's dead? What was going on?

"Asuna, I'm sorry! This was all my fault! I can't forgive myself! It was my fault for you getting killed! You were right! I'm so sorry for doing those things to you and treating you badly and unfairly! I will never be that way again! If you could ever give me a sign of forgiveness, I promise I'll change to the world and become a better man!

"I'm sorry for forcing you to tell me what happened! I'm sorry for strapping you to my bed and was hurting you to force you to speak till you were crying! I'm sorry or yelling at you and locking you up in my house! I'm sorry for everything and I can't do anything to fix it or say it to your face! And I mean it! I was hiding my true feelings and I was jealous! I really did like you!

"I don't know why I ever liked you! You don't even like me because I hurt you physically and emotionally! It's all my fault! I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you! Please. . . forgive me for hurting you. I never felt so sorry in my life." he yelled with passion and so much full of emotion. It was either the rain that was rolling down his cheeks or those were actual tears.

I watched closely, not knowing what was going to happen next. For a second, I felt this ghostly, cold aura around us. It felt like it was calling Kyoya from the grave. A mist come up from the ground like Asuna's soul was leaping out of the ground as it surrounded Kyoya, like it was telling him little whispers from it.

"You are forgiven," a sweet, angelic voice that sounded like Asuna's but was more dramatic into a whisper was heard from the distance. Utter silence filled the night and it was only that one whisper that rang through my ear drums. It was probably the same with everyone else because they all looked traumatized.

With that, it was gone instantly. Kyoya stood back up and faced us, his eyes pink from crying so much. He looked sad and disappointed yet relieved that he was forgiven by her spirit. We all were a bit shocked and confused, but we let it slip.

Asuna was in a new place now where she'll be happy and doesn't have to feel pain or suffer any longer on this Earth. She'll be living for eternity in happiness and pride. She won't have to suffer or be left alone. She will never be alone where she is at. She's where she always belonged. . .

Oh crap! I cried so much for freaking writing this! Ugh, I'm terrible for doing this to you guys but it had to be done! I needed it to happen! Ugh, I'm freaking crying my eyes out as I'm re-reading. Ugh, I'm a terrible person! So. Many. Tears. Gah!!