Put Your Hands in the Holes of My Sweater.

I crawled into Josh's bed and tried to muster the words, "goodnight and Josh" out but to no avail I was back asleep before my tired body had the chance. I curled up under the blanket and threw my arm over Josh's body--out of old habbit--and drifted into sleep quickly.

I heard my door being unlocked and a pair of shoes walk across my floor and sit on my couch. This wasn't unusal in the least but it was still a little unexpected. Hannah usually knocked, said it was her, then proceeded to make her way into my apartment to cuddle, kiss, or whatever we where in the mood for. It had become a pretty normal thing now. But something was just off about the ways she was acting tonight. She came in and sat on the couch right next to me, rested her head on my shoulder, and sighed.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked her, moving my head to look down at her head full of black hair.

She sighed, once again. I noticed how often she did that nowadays, "I'm not sure, honestly," she said, in a monotone voice.

"Maybe this'll help you," I said, pulling away, cupping her cheeks in my hands and kissing her lips softly. It stayed to innocent kissing for the first minute or two. Things had started to heat up a bit and I ended up laying over her, shirt off, and hands rested onto her hips tightly. I parted my lips from hers to catch my breath but quickly put them back together. I slid my tongue onto her bottom lip teasingly the first time, but a little more serious the second and I felt her cold hand on my tattooed chest. I blushed a bit and cleared my throat, we'd gotten so wrapped up into the situation so quickly I don't think she or I noticed the postion we were in. Usually she wouldn't stop me though. What was wrong with her tonight?

A few scenerios ran through my head shortly about the different things that could be wrong. Maybe it was PMS? Maybe she had a bad day? Maybe she had something big to tell me... Maybe she's preg-

"Wait," she breathed when I pulled my lips away.

"What's wrong?" I asked her worried, I thought she was enjoying it. Or at least pretending well enough.

"I..." She said, moving her body upward, in attempt to sit up. I caught on quickly and sat up, repositioning myself a bit as she continued, "well... I just.... I think that maybe I need to clear my head a bit... Like, be alone for a month or so. I love you so, so, so so much but... I can't do this right now." She got up and grabbed a few things from my room and in the kitchen she had loitering around my apartment and walked out. I heard the door slam loudly...

I woke up, startled and layed back down on Josh's bed for a while as I got my breathing back to normal. I got up and pulled up the pair of sweatpants I was wearing when they started to slip off of my hips. I ruffled my hair a few times, went into the apartment's bathroom, shut the door behind me, and turned the light on. I handled my business, washed and dried my hands and went back into the bedroom.

On my way back the bed, I happened to noticed a tall mirror that was glued to the door and looked at myself into. I saw all the tattoos that loitered on my skin that I took so much pride in and then I noticed my flat smooth stomach and my boney hip bones. I sighed and took a deep breath in which exposed all of my ribs. You look fucking gross I thought to myself as I put my fingers on my hips and started to pull at the skin that clung to my bones. I was taken out of my thoughts abruptly by loud snore that came from Josh's bed. I jumped a bit and lied down next to him in his bed, sighed in defeat, and drifted to sleep again.