Yelling Through
Testing the Water
Some people like testing new waters. They find the unknown fascinating and pushing their own limits. It gives them a thrill.
Others are more cautious. The unknown is scary. They need a little help, whether it’s through a gradual process of acclimation or simply throwing them in the deep end and telling them too swim. Some need continuous reassurance, while others need patient silence.
Jaxx needed silence and time. She found constant coddling and worry excessive and embarrassing. She preferred to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary and with the exception of Letty her friends and family went along with it.
Oli knew this, so when he first kissed her he gave her both silence and time.
After wandering around the botanical gardens, they’d walked hand in hand back to Oli’s car. She’d anticipated his letting go, once they reached the vehicle, but he spun her around, so that she was facing him instead.
Her confusion was apparent for only a moment, before she covered it with stoicism. She preferred to mask her nervousness. Openly expressing it was showing weakness in her opinion. People pitied the weak and for the longest time people pitied her. She hated it.
That was part of the reason Oli liked watching her so much. She was so animated around him, relaxed. Her face was just as easily read as one of her novels, when her nerves were in check.
Up until he’d met Jaxx, all those clichés about the eyes being the windows to the soul and emotion pooling within them were enough to make Oli vomit, but with Jaxx there were times, when her eyes were all he had to go on, and they finally clicked into place for him.
It was in her eyes that he could see her worry. It made him wonder what she saw in his eyes. Could he see his intentions? Could she tell that he’d been thinking of this for months.
‘I’m turning into a bird,’ he thought. He turned his attention back to Koraline.
He proceeded cautiously, giving her time to either relax or protest.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Then to her right cheek.
Then the left.
He kissed the tip of her nose and the corner of her mouth.
Then the other.
He stopped. His arms were on either side of her head, palms flat against the car. His forehead was gently pressed against hers, lips hovering over hers. She could run. He’d let her. He didn’t want her to feel forced into anything.
She didn’t. She initiated the contact.
They’d both been thinking of this moment for months. Neither of their imaginations had done it justice.
It wasn’t fireworks, stars or butterflies. It was excitement, fear, months of Matt and Lee’s shipping, I-miss-you’s, late night skype calls and sounds that naturally slipped in his presence. It was trust, and it was a slew of emotions that neither dared to voice.
Others are more cautious. The unknown is scary. They need a little help, whether it’s through a gradual process of acclimation or simply throwing them in the deep end and telling them too swim. Some need continuous reassurance, while others need patient silence.
Jaxx needed silence and time. She found constant coddling and worry excessive and embarrassing. She preferred to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary and with the exception of Letty her friends and family went along with it.
Oli knew this, so when he first kissed her he gave her both silence and time.
After wandering around the botanical gardens, they’d walked hand in hand back to Oli’s car. She’d anticipated his letting go, once they reached the vehicle, but he spun her around, so that she was facing him instead.
Her confusion was apparent for only a moment, before she covered it with stoicism. She preferred to mask her nervousness. Openly expressing it was showing weakness in her opinion. People pitied the weak and for the longest time people pitied her. She hated it.
That was part of the reason Oli liked watching her so much. She was so animated around him, relaxed. Her face was just as easily read as one of her novels, when her nerves were in check.
Up until he’d met Jaxx, all those clichés about the eyes being the windows to the soul and emotion pooling within them were enough to make Oli vomit, but with Jaxx there were times, when her eyes were all he had to go on, and they finally clicked into place for him.
It was in her eyes that he could see her worry. It made him wonder what she saw in his eyes. Could he see his intentions? Could she tell that he’d been thinking of this for months.
‘I’m turning into a bird,’ he thought. He turned his attention back to Koraline.
He proceeded cautiously, giving her time to either relax or protest.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Then to her right cheek.
Then the left.
He kissed the tip of her nose and the corner of her mouth.
Then the other.
He stopped. His arms were on either side of her head, palms flat against the car. His forehead was gently pressed against hers, lips hovering over hers. She could run. He’d let her. He didn’t want her to feel forced into anything.
She didn’t. She initiated the contact.
They’d both been thinking of this moment for months. Neither of their imaginations had done it justice.
It wasn’t fireworks, stars or butterflies. It was excitement, fear, months of Matt and Lee’s shipping, I-miss-you’s, late night skype calls and sounds that naturally slipped in his presence. It was trust, and it was a slew of emotions that neither dared to voice.
♠ ♠ ♠
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