The Tension's Like a Fire

Jodi felt empty inside, totally shattered, like her soul had just dissolved into little tiny bits of ash and settled into the pit of her stomach. She had no idea what had come over her, being so harsh with Jay about the source of his fame. Sure, she’d never had a good view of pop stars and how they act, and being in L.A., surrounded by them all the time, had simply made her opinion sourer. But no matter what her views were, she shouldn’t have been so harsh with him or judged him so quickly, especially since she hated when people automatically labeled her as troubled because of her dyed hair and tattoos. He hadn’t done that to her; he’d actually been a good guy. And yet she stomped all over him without caring in the least about hurting his feelings. The guilt and shock of his verbal lashing were making her feel like a scolded two-year-old, even though she knew she more than deserved the wakeup call.

“Shit,” Tanya mumbled, breaking the tense silence. “What did you say to him, Jodi? I’ve never seen him get angry like that.”

“I figured he wasn’t exactly a temperamental guy,” the redhead replied, swallowing back her embarrassment. She felt vaguely nauseous, and she hoped that she didn’t get sick in the middle of the café. “I’m just a bitch. A psychopathic, raging bitch. You should know that.”

“You’re not a bitch,” Tanya soothed, looking around to check for her boss before settling in the chair Jay had been occupying, helping herself to his latte. “You just have strong opinions, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think you just have to work on a gentler delivery, you know?”

Jodi groaned and put her face in her hands. “I hate myself sometimes. I can’t believe I basically told him that he was a soulless, fame-obsessed , sellout robot.”

Tanya let out a low whistle, widening her eyes with shock, until Jodi gave her a cutting glare. “Okay, so that’s a little harsher than I figured. But look, if you feel that shitty about it, just say you’re sorry. That’s all you can do, right?”

“He won’t even listen to me,” Jodi grumbled, shaking her head. “He’ll probably just slam the door in my face and delete my messages and send all his boy band buddies to kill me and throw me into a dumpster.”

“That would be bad for their image,” Tanya joked, and Jodi couldn’t help but laugh. “Seriously, it won’t hurt to try. Just give him a couple hours to cool down, and bring him coffee or a record or something, and try to express how sorry you are.”

“A record?”

“Yes, a record. He might be making pop music, but he likes the good stuff, too. I bet if you get one of your favorite records, he’ll love it. He really is a good guy, Jodi, and I can tell that he was quite smitten with you. Don’t throw it back in his face.” Tanya saluted Jodi with the latte. “And don’t worry about your drinks. They’re on me.”

“Thanks,” Jodi responded, but her voice was so quiet that her high school friend probably hadn’t even heard her. But at least the discussion had given her no choice but to express to Jay how incredibly stupid and selfish and dumb she was.

Sucking down the last bit of her cappuccino, she slammed the cup down on the table and went straight home, knowing exactly which record from her extensive collection she would give Jay as a forgiveness present.

After throwing open her front door, she threw her bag on the floor and kneeled in front of her display case, flipping through each of the sleeves carefully until she found the proper one. It was a slow process, since she was always very gentle with her record collection to ensure nothing bad happened to any of them.

It took her about twenty minutes, but the painstaking time felt worth it when she held the album in her hands. It almost felt like there was a kind of warmth radiating from it, and she just hoped Jay would feel the comfort, too. Part of her wanted to head Jay’s house right then and fight to straighten out the whole problem, but Tanya had told her to give him some time to cool down, and the idea of facing him just to see his pinched, flushed face and eyes filled with deep betrayal and anger made her want to die. So instead, she went back to her house, put the record on her dresser so she wouldn’t forget it in the morning, and went to shower the chaotic, tumultuous day off her body.



She got up early the next morning so she had time to apologize to Jay before her first class at one fifteen, and she would be lying if she said that she didn’t take an extra fifteen minutes making sure that her hair fell just perfectly, her skirt was smoothed down, and her makeup was flawless. When she finally set out, the morning air a little chillier than she’d anticipated, there was far too much anxious energy flowing through her veins. In her distracted state, she ended up taking a couple wrong turns, but since she was so familiar with the area, it was easy enough to catch the mistake and redirect herself to the proper route.

Thankfully, there was a small café a few blocks away from Jay’s apartment building, the tall structure visible in the distance, and Jodi slipped in to order the latte Jay hadn’t been able to enjoy from their…whatever it was. Jodi didn’t want to call it a date, since it hadn’t been, really, but she wasn’t sure what else it could be classified as.

Armed with her apology ammunition, her knuckles turning white and her hands getting clammy from how hard she was clutching the record, she made it to Jay’s door and knocked harshly. It wasn’t until she’d already knocked that she wondered if Jay would even be the one to answer, since she knew he lived with a bunch of other guys. What if he wasn’t even home? The more time passed, the stupider Jodi felt.

Just when she was about to drink the latte and enjoy the record herself, the door opened, and she saw the familiar curly mop of hair she’d grown to love and hate over the past couple of days.

“I’m an idiot, okay?” she snapped, throwing the gifts out in front of her as an offering. “I’m a fucking asshole and a bitch, and I never should have treated you like shit because you were a pop star. It’s pretty obvious that you’re a halfway decent guy, and I just hope that you won’t hate me for the rest of my life. And even if you want to, at least take the latte and record that I bought in hopes to buy your forgiveness. I’m really sorry, and I wish you’d say something to make me stop rambling because this is starting to get humiliating.”

And then, just to make everything worse, Jodi could hear some male laughter from the other side of the door, showing that her pathetic groveling had been a little more public than she’d intended.

Still, she stood her ground, though her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and waited for Jay’s verdict, no matter how damning it would be.