Crashed the Wedding.

I panted as I reached the door of the church, I swallowed and straightened up, I couldn’t do this, I knew that it was wrong, but at the same time everything inside of me was telling me that I hhad to stop this wedding. I’d been holding it inside for weeks, Brian and I had been together for twelve years, throughout high school and into our adult lives, and now at the age of twenty six he was getting married to a woman named Laurie. She was nice enough, but I hated her to the very core simply for the fact she had my Brian.

I’d never gotten over him, I’d never stopped loving him, sure I had dated other guys throughout the two years we hadn’t been together, but they’d never lasted more than a few months, I seemed to keep picking out guys that weren’t good for me, I guess after Brian I just didn’t want anyone to love me the way that he did. He’d been my love for twelve years and he still is.

When Brian told me that he was marrying Laurie I had flat out refused to go to the wedding, I knew that it hurt him, and I knew that I should be there for him on his big day, but the thing is. It should be me up there at the top of the aisle with him. Me getting married to him, not… not Laurie.

I still never fully understood why we split up, I mean well I did. I screwed up. I screwed up bigger and better than ever and he left me, to be honest I don’t blame him, we’re still friends now, but I don’t know that he’s ever properly forgiven me for what I did. What was it I did you’re asking? I slept with an old highschool friend, Frank Iero, we were drunk and Frank came on to me and it just happened. I know, shittest excuse in the world. Brian had asked me if I’d even thought of him while I did it. Well I.. I couldn’t lie about it could I?




“You… you cheated on me with Frank? Frankie Iero?” He was staring at me, mouth agape, pretty much on the floor. “You slept with Frank, you had sex with Frank”

I just stared at the floor, all I could do was nod. I couldn’t speak, the tears burning the back of my throat as they threatened to spill out of my eyes that were already shiny. Brian didn’t seem to care that he was crying. His brown eyes were leaking tears at an alarming rate and I knew it was my fault and I hated myself even more.

“Zacky how… you… how could you do that to me? To us?” He gestured between the two of us.

“I don’t know Brian! It just happened! We were wasted and he came on to me and it just… it just fucking happened”

“Oh I can see that it just happened” He sneered as more tears rolled down his pale cheeks “I thought that you loved me Zacky”

“I do Brian! I love you more than anything, I made one stupid mistake and you don’t realise how much I hate myself for that, I just, please I need you to forgive me Brian”

“I can’t even look at you right now Zacky”



That was eighteen months ago, and I guess you could say he had forgiven me, and I got my best friend back, but he was never the same. When he looked at me after that it was never the same because I knew that I had hurt him. I knew I broke Brian and I’ve hated myself every single day for that.

“Zacky are you sure you want to do this?” Jimmy asked me one last time, I ignored him and pushed the church doors open. Every single pair of eyes turned on me in that moment, they were most likely expecting the brides, but no it was me instead. Brian looked up and saw me, his features lighting up for a moment, he stared at me and I stared back, the two of us completely checking out the other in the suit (yes I was wearing a suit, if I was going to crash a wedding it would be in style).

“Zacky” He said “You came”

“Brian I… I need to speak to you. Now”

“It can’t wait?” He asked me incredulously.

“No”

“Zack anything you have to say to me you can say to the others” I stared at him. Was he fucking serious, there were at least two hundred people in this church. “And better say it fast” He said coming down the aisle a bit, I knew I didn’t have much time. “Well?” He stopped in front of me.

“You can’t marry Laurie” I blurted, hearing several gasps from various family members. His expression changed from the humoured one to shocked.

“Why? Why can’t I marry Laurie?”

“Because…”

“Because what Zack?”

“Because I still love you! Because I’ve never stopped loving you for the past two years, no one knows me like you do, Brian you’re the love of my life and I know that I am never going to find anyone like you ever again, what happened between me and the other guy, that was the worst mistake that I’ve ever made! I still love you Brian, and if I.. if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what else to tell you. Brian I know that I screwed up but I know that somewhere deep down you still love me too”

He stood staring at me for what felt like an eternity before he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the church and into what I assumed was his dressing room.

He slammed the door and turned to face me, anger in his eyes, I took a step back as he swung for me and I felt my lip split under his fist, I yelped and dropped to my knees. Tears flowing from my eyes, I cried because my lip throbbed and because of the pain in my heart, he was done with me he didn’t want me.

“Get up” He said, I looked up at him and his outstretched hand, he helped me up and sat me on a hair, giving me towel for my lip, it was swelling quite a bit. “Zacky why? You’ve had two years to tell me this, all of this, two fucking years and you chose my wedding day?!”

“I had to! Otherwise I’m going to lose you forever to another woman who can never love you half as much I ever have!”

“How can you say that?”

“Because no one will ever love you like I do Bri” He was staring at me, his lighter-than-milk-chocolate eyes swimming with so many different emotions it was different for me to pinpoint just one.

“I know” He said sadly, looking down, his shoulders sagging.

“Then why are you marrying her?”

“Because god-fucking-dammit Zack you broke my fucking heart! Because after you she was the one who was there to pick up the pieces, because even after everything that has happened over the past two years she was the one stable thing that I had going on”

“I’m sorry” I whispered “I’m sorry that I broke you”

“I know” He said “I’m sorry too”

“Brian what the hell do you have to be sorry for?”

“For not forgiving you sooner, for making you crash my wedding” He chuckled as he sat next to me. “For not telling you that I loved you every single day even when we weren’t together, Zacky, you’re the love of my life, and here I am getting married to a woman who I consider a friend more than anything else”
“Brian I--”

“Zacky, I need you to give me a reason, a reason for us to be together, because otherwise I have to go out there, and I will marry Laurie and spend the rest of my life with her. I need to know what you want, tell me to get lost and I will, but say the word and I’m all yours”

I stood, coming face to face with him, I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my swollen lips to his. He sighed and slipped his arms around my waist, kissing me back fervently, it felt so good to be kissing Brian again, I had missed this so fucking much. But I couldn’t stop crying, I hiccuped out a sob and stopped the kiss, burying my face in his neck. I had gotten my Brian back, nothing else could stop me now.

I could be happy again.