Radiate
Lightning
I woke from the nightmare in a cold sweat, struggling to keep my breathing at a normal pace. I should be used to it by now, I've had the same nightmare almost every night for a year, but still it terrifies me. All I can remember is a woman, or a creature, and a lot of pain.
I sat up in my comfortable four poster bed and looked around the dimly lit room. The alarm clock on my bedside table told me that it was 6:00 am. Even if I could I wouldn't choose to go back to sleep, so instead I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom in a half dazed state.
After a quick shower to wake myself up I went to get ready for my first day at yet another new school. I hated moving, but it was my own fault. See, I had these uncontrollable urges to do bad things, such as throw chairs at teachers or destroy classrooms. I'd been kicked out of several schools in the past year. My parents had taken me to countless psychiatrists but I knew none of them believed that I had no control over my actions. Whenever it happened it felt like I was a puppet, and some invisible force was pulling the strings. Making me do things I wouldn't in a million years think of doing myself.
This started happening at the same time as the nightmares, and the visions and the voices in my head. My parents, my friends everyone that mattered had given up on me, they all thought I was insane, a freak. I guess I was, but I knew the truth. I had figured out a while ago that all of this, must have something to do with the night I got hit by lightning...
The 20th of October at 11:00 pm. I was walking home from my friends' house by myself as my parents had gone out and weren't able to pick me up. I didn't mind walking in the dark, I found it peaceful, relaxing almost. No sounds, no people, just me and my thoughts as company.
I was a few blocks away from my house when it happened. Until then the weather had been normal, there were no reports of a storm or even rain, the sky was cloudy and the air was cold but there were no signs or warnings that I was about to be struck by lightning.
Huddling into my winter jacket to protect myself from the cold I hurried on down the road, wanting to get home and go to bed. Then I heard a strange noise, it didn't really sound like thunder or anything, more like a ripping sound in the sky. I looked up and all I saw was a blinding, beautiful light heading towards me. Then everything went black...
I ended up in hospital after a man had found me lying unconscious in the street, my parents were called and I stayed there overnight. That was when I had the first nightmare. The woman who's face I couldn't remember. I had woken up screaming and it took my parents what seemed like hours to finally calm me down.The next morning I was given the all clear and told I was free to leave.
Back at home I was still traumatised from the nightmare and how real it had felt. I was distracted from it however when I started to hear the voices. A voice, not like any woman or man, whispering my name over and over again. I didn't tell anyone about it for fear they would think I was insane. I just had to deal with it.
Then came the "behavioural problems" and after moving from four different schools I was onto my fifth. I had no idea how I kept getting accepted, what with my 'troubled past', but here I was.
Back in my bedroom I went and stood in front of my full length mirror, I almost didn't recognise the person staring back at me. My eyes, once as blue as a clear summer sky, were now so dark you could barely make out my pupils, another effect of the lightning strike. My once curvy figure was now so thin you could almost see my ribs, I didn't have much of an appetite anymore. My skin was deathly pale and my eyes had big black rings under them from my lack of sleep and my normally under-control wavy red hair was a big curly mess on top of my head. The biggest difference however, was the mark on my face, left by the lightning. It took up most of my left cheek and was shaped like a crescent moon. I hated it.
I pulled my wild hair back into a lose ponytail and applied some makeup to cover up the dark rings. After changing into a simple black, a-line dress and my white Dr. Martens I grabbed my backpack from my bed and headed downstairs.
In the kitchen I found my mother hovering over the stove, the smell of bacon wafted up from the pan and I found myself feeling sick. I used to love bacon now I could barely eat anything without wanting to throw up.
"Morning sweetie, did you sleep well?"
My mother's eyebrows were furrowed in an expression of concern but her lips held a forced smile.
"Same as always"
I mumbled as I grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge and took a swig.
"Do you want breakfast? I made bacon?"
She gestured towards the pan she was holding.
"No I'm not hungry I think I'm just gonna head off to school now"
Her false smile fell, worry taking over her face.
"Okay hunny have a good first day"
She pulled me into a hug. She was warm, comfortable and smelt of a sweet scented perfume. I do love my mum and I know she tries her hardest with me, I can't imagine how difficult it is having a mentally insane daughter.
Once I got out of the door and into the chilly autumn breeze a feeling of dread overtook me. I knew what would happen once I got through the school gates. Everyone would instantly hate me and think I was a freak because of the stupid moon on my cheek, and then I would end up probably killing someone by accident or something and being sent away again. It was always the same.
The closer I got the more nervous and scared I became. My hands were shaking and I began to panic. I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down, I wasn't going to let this anxiety get the better of me. Keeping my head down I made my way towards the gates, or as I like to call it... Hell.
I sat up in my comfortable four poster bed and looked around the dimly lit room. The alarm clock on my bedside table told me that it was 6:00 am. Even if I could I wouldn't choose to go back to sleep, so instead I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom in a half dazed state.
After a quick shower to wake myself up I went to get ready for my first day at yet another new school. I hated moving, but it was my own fault. See, I had these uncontrollable urges to do bad things, such as throw chairs at teachers or destroy classrooms. I'd been kicked out of several schools in the past year. My parents had taken me to countless psychiatrists but I knew none of them believed that I had no control over my actions. Whenever it happened it felt like I was a puppet, and some invisible force was pulling the strings. Making me do things I wouldn't in a million years think of doing myself.
This started happening at the same time as the nightmares, and the visions and the voices in my head. My parents, my friends everyone that mattered had given up on me, they all thought I was insane, a freak. I guess I was, but I knew the truth. I had figured out a while ago that all of this, must have something to do with the night I got hit by lightning...
The 20th of October at 11:00 pm. I was walking home from my friends' house by myself as my parents had gone out and weren't able to pick me up. I didn't mind walking in the dark, I found it peaceful, relaxing almost. No sounds, no people, just me and my thoughts as company.
I was a few blocks away from my house when it happened. Until then the weather had been normal, there were no reports of a storm or even rain, the sky was cloudy and the air was cold but there were no signs or warnings that I was about to be struck by lightning.
Huddling into my winter jacket to protect myself from the cold I hurried on down the road, wanting to get home and go to bed. Then I heard a strange noise, it didn't really sound like thunder or anything, more like a ripping sound in the sky. I looked up and all I saw was a blinding, beautiful light heading towards me. Then everything went black...
I ended up in hospital after a man had found me lying unconscious in the street, my parents were called and I stayed there overnight. That was when I had the first nightmare. The woman who's face I couldn't remember. I had woken up screaming and it took my parents what seemed like hours to finally calm me down.The next morning I was given the all clear and told I was free to leave.
Back at home I was still traumatised from the nightmare and how real it had felt. I was distracted from it however when I started to hear the voices. A voice, not like any woman or man, whispering my name over and over again. I didn't tell anyone about it for fear they would think I was insane. I just had to deal with it.
Then came the "behavioural problems" and after moving from four different schools I was onto my fifth. I had no idea how I kept getting accepted, what with my 'troubled past', but here I was.
Back in my bedroom I went and stood in front of my full length mirror, I almost didn't recognise the person staring back at me. My eyes, once as blue as a clear summer sky, were now so dark you could barely make out my pupils, another effect of the lightning strike. My once curvy figure was now so thin you could almost see my ribs, I didn't have much of an appetite anymore. My skin was deathly pale and my eyes had big black rings under them from my lack of sleep and my normally under-control wavy red hair was a big curly mess on top of my head. The biggest difference however, was the mark on my face, left by the lightning. It took up most of my left cheek and was shaped like a crescent moon. I hated it.
I pulled my wild hair back into a lose ponytail and applied some makeup to cover up the dark rings. After changing into a simple black, a-line dress and my white Dr. Martens I grabbed my backpack from my bed and headed downstairs.
In the kitchen I found my mother hovering over the stove, the smell of bacon wafted up from the pan and I found myself feeling sick. I used to love bacon now I could barely eat anything without wanting to throw up.
"Morning sweetie, did you sleep well?"
My mother's eyebrows were furrowed in an expression of concern but her lips held a forced smile.
"Same as always"
I mumbled as I grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge and took a swig.
"Do you want breakfast? I made bacon?"
She gestured towards the pan she was holding.
"No I'm not hungry I think I'm just gonna head off to school now"
Her false smile fell, worry taking over her face.
"Okay hunny have a good first day"
She pulled me into a hug. She was warm, comfortable and smelt of a sweet scented perfume. I do love my mum and I know she tries her hardest with me, I can't imagine how difficult it is having a mentally insane daughter.
Once I got out of the door and into the chilly autumn breeze a feeling of dread overtook me. I knew what would happen once I got through the school gates. Everyone would instantly hate me and think I was a freak because of the stupid moon on my cheek, and then I would end up probably killing someone by accident or something and being sent away again. It was always the same.
The closer I got the more nervous and scared I became. My hands were shaking and I began to panic. I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down, I wasn't going to let this anxiety get the better of me. Keeping my head down I made my way towards the gates, or as I like to call it... Hell.