Status: a simple one shot, I hope you enjoy.
Summer's Events
1/1
I remember the first time I saw him.
He was like nothing I'd ever had the privilege to have seen before in my short nineteen years of life upon the earth, one which flourished with magnificently red and yellow flowers that decorated it's luscious green pastures and made the world just a little prettier than it was. I was never a fan of summer, of course it's friends that came out to play with it were beautiful but it never appealed to me like it did to other human beings because to simply put it, summer is a time when you wear flimsy clothing and I hated wearing clothes that showed off too much skin, I felt watched and naked, not completely in the sense of exposing my entire body but exposing my thoughts, and that oddly scared me. The sun wasn't my friend either, and although summer was beautiful, it wasn't a season I ever looked forward to meeting again after it's departure.
But that all changed that one summer when my eyes landed on him, and I began to realize that summer held so much more amazing things that I was never aware of. Summer wasn't just pretty flowers or that annoying blistering hot sun in the sky, summer was something that brought me to a beautiful boy that I had never seen before. His smile was oh so captivating, it was big and bright, holding such happiness that made me smile in return without a single care in the world that other souls were watching me in odd ways. I couldn't help it, when he smiled all the way by a big oak tree in the park, I would smile back in my seat on the bench as I admired his beautifully handsome features. The boy had light brown hair, almost to a dirty blonde hue and it bounced around on his head with the ends of curls sticking up here and there as he talked to his friend, I just wanted to race over to him, twirl my fingers in his curly locks and stare in awe at his wonderful face which held the most amazing almond shaped, dark brown eyes, big and full of expression, even glimmer I should say. I longed for them to look my way just so I could be part of those amazing little beads for just one little second.
The boy's face was wonderful, I could go days and days about how much I adored his bone structure, those slightly fluffy cheeks of his and the amazingly pink pouty lips he had or how the bridge of his nose crinkled every time he went into a fit of laughter, his right eye twitching in the process of it all or even his slightly big ears that to others could be a flaw but in my eyes, they added to how good looking he was. That handsome boy wasn't just gifted above his long, lean neck but he was also gifted everywhere else. He was tall and I was sure one or two heads taller than I was, he had long arms and big enough hands that mine wanted to touch someday and his legs weren't all that bad either, concealed in dark blue jeans which hugged his legs perfectly, making the shape of them that much more noticeable.
I first saw this boy back in the summer of 2011 and now after two years it was summer of 2013. I had staggered back to the park to get to my bench, something which was usual for me but I never expected 一although had anxiously hoped for一 was to see that boy again, although, he looked different. His hair was cut slightly shorter than the last time I had seen him, the curls were gone and replaced by straight, dark brown hair which made his skin look paler but that didn't change anything. The boy still looked as amazing 一if not more一 as he had two years ago but... Something was different and it wasn't just his hairstyle, as I sat back and watched him admirably, so happy to see him before me again, I noticed something odd, something I hadn't noticed the first time because he was so bubbly that it made my heart swell.
He changed.
I had been like him long enough to know exactly what the change was, his interior was cold, sad and dark something that his exterior masked well to others but not me even though we had never said a word to each other and I was well aware that his eyes had most likely never landed on me the way mine had on him. This boy, this handsome boy that had held my heart all those years by just one long look was now broken in a way that broke me too, in a way that I had been broken before, I wanted to see him smile again, like he had before and I wanted to be the reason for that smile. I decided after a long time to confront him and finally after so long to befriend him like I had in all my dreams. Time passed after that and I grew to love him as he grew to love me back.
Until things got really bad.
The boy I had seen in the summer of 2011 had changed. He was completely gone, nothing was left of him, not even his exterior which was a mask he used to wear so well to hide his true feelings of nothingness. Winter of 2014 came along, our relationship had flourished over that time but he was as cold as ice, he would hardly smile anymore, not even when he told me he loved me, he would simply bury his head in my neck and kiss it tenderly before sighing and pulling away to hug me tightly. I tried so hard to make him laugh, smile or just do something to make him happy again but he never was. There was absolutely nothing left of the boy I grew to love.
Just what I hated. Not of him but the way he felt, I didn't have a problem with being by his side whenever he seamlessly broke down crying or would knock things about in our cozy little apartment in pure anger and rage because of what was going on inside him. I hated the feelings because they made my once cheery lover miserable. If I could of somehow killed those monstrous feelings and replaced them with feelings as bright as sunshine I would have, but the sad truth was that I couldn't. There was nothing more that I could do except to support him, love him as much as my heart was capable of loving and when things got awfully bad, to cradle him in my arms and twirl my fingers in his hair that was curly once more which made him relax and feel slightly at ease.
The boy was the love of my life, even if he seemed like a zombie most days, I didn't care.
He was my lovely Park Chanyeol, whether bright and bubbly or broken to pieces.
My love.
My soul.
My life.
Mine.
Winter was cold and soon it came closer to spring of 2015 but that wasn't all that approached. Nothing could have ever prepared me enough for what that one stupid, torturous spring had to offer me, laid out in front of me so that I too could turn into a dark, weeping mess of nothingness like my Chanyeol once again.
It was his words.
His sad, sick and twisted words.
"Forget about me. I'm a lost cause."
"No! I will not forget you! I can't!"
Chanyeol sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, when they opened up again the look in those once glimmering dark brown eyes was nothing but dark, sad, resentful and lost. He brought his hands up to my cheeks and wiped away the tears that had fallen from my eyes, he leaned down to me and placed a soft, sweet kiss on my forehead.
"Try..." He whispered in my ear, his deep husky voice now nothing but a hoarse sound filled with sadness, "Try really hard."
With that, my beautiful Chanyeol was gone.
He was like nothing I'd ever had the privilege to have seen before in my short nineteen years of life upon the earth, one which flourished with magnificently red and yellow flowers that decorated it's luscious green pastures and made the world just a little prettier than it was. I was never a fan of summer, of course it's friends that came out to play with it were beautiful but it never appealed to me like it did to other human beings because to simply put it, summer is a time when you wear flimsy clothing and I hated wearing clothes that showed off too much skin, I felt watched and naked, not completely in the sense of exposing my entire body but exposing my thoughts, and that oddly scared me. The sun wasn't my friend either, and although summer was beautiful, it wasn't a season I ever looked forward to meeting again after it's departure.
But that all changed that one summer when my eyes landed on him, and I began to realize that summer held so much more amazing things that I was never aware of. Summer wasn't just pretty flowers or that annoying blistering hot sun in the sky, summer was something that brought me to a beautiful boy that I had never seen before. His smile was oh so captivating, it was big and bright, holding such happiness that made me smile in return without a single care in the world that other souls were watching me in odd ways. I couldn't help it, when he smiled all the way by a big oak tree in the park, I would smile back in my seat on the bench as I admired his beautifully handsome features. The boy had light brown hair, almost to a dirty blonde hue and it bounced around on his head with the ends of curls sticking up here and there as he talked to his friend, I just wanted to race over to him, twirl my fingers in his curly locks and stare in awe at his wonderful face which held the most amazing almond shaped, dark brown eyes, big and full of expression, even glimmer I should say. I longed for them to look my way just so I could be part of those amazing little beads for just one little second.
The boy's face was wonderful, I could go days and days about how much I adored his bone structure, those slightly fluffy cheeks of his and the amazingly pink pouty lips he had or how the bridge of his nose crinkled every time he went into a fit of laughter, his right eye twitching in the process of it all or even his slightly big ears that to others could be a flaw but in my eyes, they added to how good looking he was. That handsome boy wasn't just gifted above his long, lean neck but he was also gifted everywhere else. He was tall and I was sure one or two heads taller than I was, he had long arms and big enough hands that mine wanted to touch someday and his legs weren't all that bad either, concealed in dark blue jeans which hugged his legs perfectly, making the shape of them that much more noticeable.
I first saw this boy back in the summer of 2011 and now after two years it was summer of 2013. I had staggered back to the park to get to my bench, something which was usual for me but I never expected 一although had anxiously hoped for一 was to see that boy again, although, he looked different. His hair was cut slightly shorter than the last time I had seen him, the curls were gone and replaced by straight, dark brown hair which made his skin look paler but that didn't change anything. The boy still looked as amazing 一if not more一 as he had two years ago but... Something was different and it wasn't just his hairstyle, as I sat back and watched him admirably, so happy to see him before me again, I noticed something odd, something I hadn't noticed the first time because he was so bubbly that it made my heart swell.
He changed.
I had been like him long enough to know exactly what the change was, his interior was cold, sad and dark something that his exterior masked well to others but not me even though we had never said a word to each other and I was well aware that his eyes had most likely never landed on me the way mine had on him. This boy, this handsome boy that had held my heart all those years by just one long look was now broken in a way that broke me too, in a way that I had been broken before, I wanted to see him smile again, like he had before and I wanted to be the reason for that smile. I decided after a long time to confront him and finally after so long to befriend him like I had in all my dreams. Time passed after that and I grew to love him as he grew to love me back.
Until things got really bad.
The boy I had seen in the summer of 2011 had changed. He was completely gone, nothing was left of him, not even his exterior which was a mask he used to wear so well to hide his true feelings of nothingness. Winter of 2014 came along, our relationship had flourished over that time but he was as cold as ice, he would hardly smile anymore, not even when he told me he loved me, he would simply bury his head in my neck and kiss it tenderly before sighing and pulling away to hug me tightly. I tried so hard to make him laugh, smile or just do something to make him happy again but he never was. There was absolutely nothing left of the boy I grew to love.
Just what I hated. Not of him but the way he felt, I didn't have a problem with being by his side whenever he seamlessly broke down crying or would knock things about in our cozy little apartment in pure anger and rage because of what was going on inside him. I hated the feelings because they made my once cheery lover miserable. If I could of somehow killed those monstrous feelings and replaced them with feelings as bright as sunshine I would have, but the sad truth was that I couldn't. There was nothing more that I could do except to support him, love him as much as my heart was capable of loving and when things got awfully bad, to cradle him in my arms and twirl my fingers in his hair that was curly once more which made him relax and feel slightly at ease.
The boy was the love of my life, even if he seemed like a zombie most days, I didn't care.
He was my lovely Park Chanyeol, whether bright and bubbly or broken to pieces.
My love.
My soul.
My life.
Mine.
Winter was cold and soon it came closer to spring of 2015 but that wasn't all that approached. Nothing could have ever prepared me enough for what that one stupid, torturous spring had to offer me, laid out in front of me so that I too could turn into a dark, weeping mess of nothingness like my Chanyeol once again.
It was his words.
His sad, sick and twisted words.
"Forget about me. I'm a lost cause."
"No! I will not forget you! I can't!"
Chanyeol sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, when they opened up again the look in those once glimmering dark brown eyes was nothing but dark, sad, resentful and lost. He brought his hands up to my cheeks and wiped away the tears that had fallen from my eyes, he leaned down to me and placed a soft, sweet kiss on my forehead.
"Try..." He whispered in my ear, his deep husky voice now nothing but a hoarse sound filled with sadness, "Try really hard."
With that, my beautiful Chanyeol was gone.
♠ ♠ ♠
/sobs/