Here One Moment

Lights dance across my vision like figurines at a ball, flowing dresses swirling around feminine figures as the male partner leads his woman across the wooden floors, gracefully managing one another’s footsteps. Ball gowns and eligible bachelors change to notes flitting across on the warm breeze, the music filling the night sky and covering it with a symphony of song and musicians. Lifted from my place beside the lake, I fly toward the east, the beat changing, a modern sound methodically leaking into the speakers of my imagination, throbbing with the bass of hearts. Memories (passed and to come) flood my mind, and I’m far from here, far from this place.

I’ve never had the best of luck with relationships. Of the few I’ve had, the one that really meant the most lasted less than a month, and leaving was a huge mistake; I lost a friend, that day. But, now, I have you. “Forever and always,” you whisper, arm grazing across the small of my back as you reach to pull me closer than before.

Foreign words pour into vision, new colours that I’ve never seen before, but understand with little effort. “Ich liebe dich,” they chorus, again and again as the tune changes, the landscape folding in on itself like clay in a child’s hand. Granted, the moon never left its position, but the sun did, casting us into a lulling darkness. Despite the scene, I attempt to choke out the words that I can no longer trust when coming from my lips, but sputter only useless nonsense that I attempt to mask by kissing you gently. No matter what, I will fight by your side. But, again, I cannot promise you everything; I cannot promise you the world. But I can offer you mine.

We fly; together, this time. Over valleys and mountains and rivers and oceans. Inside, it’s warm, a toasted orange in comparison to the window, frigid and frozen a powder blue, caked with frost and snow. The view, despite these conditions, is glorious. You love the cold, whereas I hate it; good thing we brought the ‘space heater.’ Embraces are held, wood is split by heat, and silence exchanged in the whistling of the Föhn wind. My thoughts are nothing but a whisper, now, and I twist the simple, lightly decorated band around the finger my left hand, the only piece of jewellery I’m wearing. Jungfrau invades the bedroom, but I shant err a word on the matter. To do so would belittle your choice, and there was no purpose when I couldn’t have chosen a better location to vacate to.

Early dawn breaks and you reach across the empty sheets, in search of something, and I watch in amusement until something grasps my arm; you’ve found what you’re after. Support is brought out from beneath me and I’m by your side once more; not that I ever initially left in the first place, but now there’s no way, nor reason, to escape your grasp. And here I remain.

You rattle off in your foreign colours to the man at the other end of the connection, then discontinue; your smile is contagious, although I fail to understand the language when spoken. Yet you always manage to make it flow from your mouth in such a way that I cannot resist, and I succumb to the urge to have those words be my own.

So I make them that way.

“Ich bete dich, Kuschel.”

It’s only a dream, a wish, a thought. But I tuck it away for a later date and finger the empty finger on my left hand. One day, someday, you will be mine. But for now, I shall resort to my music and your words, your words that mean something more than love.