Bottles on the Floor, Bring My Doom

It's like the Notebook where I build a battered home after love lost, I have no lust and everyday I go along a lonely road drinking vodka... I'm drunk.

After losing the most important thing to him, all Alex could do was down drink, after drink, after drink. It felt like it was the only thing he was good at. He wasn't good at keeping his best friend from falling apart, that was proven when he walked home from work and saw how trashed his and Jack's apartment was. At first, he thought somebody robbed them but that flew over his head because they live on the nice side of town, nothing happens here.

He was proved wrong when he walked into their shared bedroom. Hanging there was his best friend of 14 years, lifelessly. Right then and there, Alex's world spiraled downward, nothing ever mattered. He was filled with hate, no ounce of love ever got into him, all he did was hate.

None of the hate was directed towards his best friend, oh no. In fact, the only soft spot in his body was directed at Jack and he never failed to show it around the younger.

You want everything from me so I'm gonna tell you I can't give you anything you want at all.
My God, I live in my parent's basement all I do is sit around and drink n' crawl.

When Alex was drunk though, he would crawl into bed with a shirt of Jack's and just bask in the feeling. They still smelled like him and it comforted Alex, although he knew when the smell eventually faded away, he wouldn't be prepared for it.

Honestly, Alex had never done anything with anybody since his Jack left, he'd get drunk yes, but most of time it was at his own home. Sometime, he'd go out at bars, have some broad hit on him but he would remember that she isn't Jack, she never would be and he would ignore her. Alex could live with being alone forever, he embraced it. He wanted Jack, he didn't want anybody's company if they weren't Jack.

But he was never coming back, and Alex needed to realize that.

Every single moment that I wait to move on, I missed a girl that could've loved me for what I've done.
Downed a shot of vodka, I drink to numb the thought that all I do is sit here and dream of what I'm not.

Currently, he was sitting on the floor, leaned up against a wall with a bottle of vodka in his hands as his head lolled to the side and silently stared at all the pictures he and Jack had around the house. They were pictures of them, family, or friends. Mostly, Jack and Alex though.

Alex looked at one picture in particular, it was of him and Jack, going to prom. They didn't have dates, they were labeled the "rejects" in high school and they only stuck together, so they just went with each other. Alex softly smiled as he remembered the events that the picture held.

*Flashback*

"Mom! Come on," Jack whined as Alex giggled at him. Jack's mom kept taking pictures of him and Jack, cooing at how adorable she found her son and his best friend. The younger kept pouting and Alex found it so cute, he didn't really know where exactly his thoughts about his best friend were heading, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

---

They were at prom, people kept shooting disgusted looks their way but, their lost, right? Alex didn't care what they thought, Jack was his best friend and he will always be his best friend. Whether their relationship took turns to being more, Jack will probably mean so much more to Alex, just like he always had.

When a slow song came on, Jack practically dragged Alex out to the dance floor and demanded a dance. Not like Alex would reject him, but Jack didn't need to know that.

Honestly, that was the best thing Alex had ever experienced with his best friend. With the slight height advantage Jack had over him, it would the elder feel so safe and protected in his arms, swaying lightly to the overly cheesy song playing. He couldn't help but blush as he nuzzled his nose against his best friend's neck.

He just felt on top of the world and knew that all he would need is Jack.

*End flashback*

Alex was practically a shaking, sobbing mess on the floor. That was also the day he promised Jack that no matter what happens in the future, they will be together forever.

You want everything from me so I'm gonna tell you I can't give you anything you want at all
My God, I live in my parent's basement all I do is sit around and drink n' crawl

God, he missed Jack, he missed him so much. He just clawed at his own skin, tearing at his hair all in frustration, all in hate that his body and mind filled up with. He blamed himself, he knew how Jack felt about him but passed it off as wishful thinking, he could have saved Jack, helped him with anything and everything, but he didn't and he was paying the price for it.

I dance on the dancefloor, baby. I ask for tequila, maybe. I've had about one or ten, that's a damn Sin. I care about this nonsense, I see me dropping my pants. I make you happy for my own expanse.
I drank my life away today... If I awake I'll maybe say...

He was throwing everything around, channeling his anger and hurt in a violent way. He didn't care, he was just so... broken nothing could save him from what he has been feeling. It's been a month since Jack left him, and he doesn't think time has existed and if it did, it didn't matter.

All he did was sit around, drink, and remember. He remembered everything he did with Jack, every small detail about him, the way his eyes lit up when Alex was with him. How he styled his hair, how he only cared for Alex. Everything he did was for Alex and the elder sobbed harder after realizing everything that flew over his head.

Jack loved him more than a best friend, and with his wishful thinking, ignored it.

You want everything from me so I'm gonna tell you I can't give you anything you want at all
My God, I live in my parent's basement all I do is sit around and drink and..

An empty bottle smashed against the wall in a final fit of rage and Alex slowly slid to the floor, the room spinning around him.

I sit in this spinning room! Bottles on the floor, bring my doom! After all the sadness and gloom, I can only go and resume!

Everything ended for Alex, nothing was really worth the trouble without his best friend. Honestly, he would love to make Jack his boyfriend, but he couldn't, what with Jack being gone.

Forever.

You want everything from me so I'm gonna tell you I can't give you anything you want at all
My God, I live in my parent's basement all I do is sit around and drink n' crawl.

He let himself fall to the side as he curled his legs to his chest, still sobbing.

"I love you, Jacky,"

And Alex swore, he heard a low whisper of,"I love you too."