Dirty Laundry

Harry took a deep breath. His mouth opened to speak, probably to tell me to fuck off and never come near him again, but it promptly shut again, as if he couldn’t find the words to properly articulate how much he hated me. This happened twice before I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“Harry…”

He held up a finger to stop me. “I’m trying to understand.”

I sighed, closing my eyes as if doing so was somehow going to shield me. “I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t,” he retorted. “This is how you make money. This is how you do business. And you’re successful, so that means a million blokes got suckered just like I did.”

There was no point in trying to defend myself. I’d been making a living this way for years and never thought twice about anything I’d done. Harry pegged me for exactly what I was: a liar, a con, a person who’d booked a one-way ticket to Hell long before I ever met him.

“Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “Do you even…do you feel even a shred of guilt for what you’ve done?”

Did I? I was good at this; my business was something I’d built from the ground up, something I could call my own after I’d failed at everything else. Just because I made a living exploiting the weaknesses of men didn’t make me a bad person, didn’t mean I had to apologize for it. Yet here I was, confessing my sins to Harry for no other reason than because it felt like the right thing to do.

“I did this time,” I answered quietly.

Harry stood. I was expecting him to ask me to leave, maybe head to the kitchen for a tall glass of something strong, something, but all he did was run a hand through his hair and look around his penthouse. He’d taken all the pictures off the walls; the only evidence that Genevieve had ever been there was gone.

“Does this have anything to do with why she left me?”

“It probably would’ve if you hadn’t told her first.”

Harry’s face flushed. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” He choked back a sob, wrapping his arms around his thin frame as if to protect himself from the pain. “I just wanted them to forgive me.”

I also stood, once again matching his height in designer heels. This was way out of my league. I never had to stick around for the aftermath, never had to talk a man off the ledge once the consequences of his actions caught up with him.

“Harry, look at me,” I said, taking his hands into my own. His green eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with tears. “You did the right thing. It may not have made up for what you did in the past, but—”

Harry cut me off with a bone-crushing embrace. I didn’t have the heart to deny him after everything I’d done. He’d kept it together as I told him everything—from Genevieve hiring me to Louis threatening me and storming out—and I was surprised it hadn’t bubbled over sooner. All I could do was tell him everything would be okay and let him sob on my shoulder.

I didn’t know a thing about love. I knew Liam thought he loved Mia and that Genevieve was willing to put up with Harry’s transgressions in its name, but I didn’t know what it felt like. I didn’t know what it was like to look at someone and feel butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know what it was like to wake up in the morning with someone’s arm wrapped around my stomach protectively. I didn’t know what it was like to enjoy someone’s presence without having to document it as soon as they left. I didn’t know what it was like to read a flirty text message and giggle, like Sloane.

“Who’s gonna want me now?” he asked through shaky breaths.

I held him at arms length. “Just because you made some questionable decisions doesn’t mean you’re unloveable,” I said. My thumbs moved to wipe the tears from the corners of his eyes. “Take some time and find yourself again. Go on a spiritual retreat. Travel the world. You’ve got more money than you know what to do with, use it to better yourself. You’ll get through this.”

Harry nodded. I figured he knew I was talking out of my ass, that I was probably number one on the list of the world’s biggest hypocrites. I appreciated him not saying so if that was the case. Instead, he pulled me into another hug and rubbed my back. “I am. I’m gonna get out of here for a while.”

“That’s great.”

“Can…will you do something for me?” he asked, pulling away. The way he looked right then, I would’ve given him the world if it were possible. “While I’m gone, will you look after Lou?”

His request caught me by surprise. “He hates me, Harry. I can’t do that.”

Harry’s laugh was raspy, unsurprising as he nearly cried himself hoarse. “He doesn’t hate you, Ev—” he paused, almost cringing at his slip-up. “Elle. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I deserved that.”

Harry almost looked sympathetic. “He’ll come ‘round. I talked to him earlier. We’re…let’s just say me and him are mending fences.”

I was impressed. I tried to imagine what I’d do if the roles were reversed, if Mia and I were in this position instead of Harry and Lou. Would she be so quick to forgive me? Would I even be stupid enough to betray her like that? I’d like to think I wouldn’t. Then again, I don’t think anyone intentionally hurts the people they care about.

“That still doesn’t change what I did. He never wanted to be involved and now everything’s a goddamn disaster.”

“Trust me, if he can look past all the idiotic shit I’ve done, he can do the same for you. He’s a better man than me.”

I scoffed. People didn’t forgive me very often, mostly because I never asked for it. Regardless, I didn’t see Louis Tomlinson coming around anytime soon. “Can you just check up on him?” Harry continued. “I’m usually his crutch in situations like this and—”

“Okay,” I said, interrupting what I was sure was scheduled to be a very heartwarming speech about friendship and love. “I can check up on him.”

Harry looked absolutely thrilled. “Thank you.” He studied my face for a few moments before he stuck out his hand. “Friends?”

I was speechless. “Harry, are you—”

“Very serious,” he finished for me. “Regardless of your intentions, you listened to me when everyone else had long since left me on my own. I’m so very thankful for that, for that little bit of friendship you showed me.”

“I hardly qualify as a friend.”

“Let’s put it this way: I’d rather see you in that white dress than Lou.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Seriously, Elle, I’m not trying to pull your leg. People have always been so quick to write me off. I have money, I’m successful, I’m difficult to work for—Genevieve and Lou were the only ones to ever look past all that, but now that…you know.” He cleared his throat, probably to clear the lump that’d formed at the mention of his ex-fiancée’s name. “We may have started off a bit unconventional, but it says something that in the last few months, you’re the only one who has cared enough to be honest with me.”

No longer able to look him in the eye, I found the windows and drapes behind him to be infinitely fascinating. “Let’s just call it even,” I said.

Harry smiled again, pressing a quick kiss to my temple. It was the same spot I’d kissed him in only a few days prior. “Even it is, love.”