What You Did in the Dark

"Oliver has tattoos. When he showed me, I caught a glance at his wrist and almost cried. How can such a beautiful person do that to themselves? He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met—sans Tom—and he puts himself through what I put myself?"

"Time to go to Therapy, hun."

Her mom stood in the doorway. She shut her journal, placing it respectably back into its place in one of the hollow books she kept on a shelf. She had three books she hid things in; her journal, pictures and memories of Marylin, and a couple of razorblades and scissors—no one suspected a thing.

"Your mom tells me you’ve made some friends—is that correct?"

Aleria was hesitant, but she nodded—the biggest interaction her counselor’s seen all month.

Dr. Vee grinned widely at her action. “Would you like to tell me their names?”

She felt her face get hot, all the way down to her neck. This whole time she’s been coming to therapy, she didn’t even know if Dr. Vee knew how her voice sounded. She nodded once—now she wanted her to speak? She felt as if she was going to cry.

Suddenly, Aleria felt dumb. All Dr. Vee wanted were her friends’ names, and she was going to cry because she had to tell her?

Dr. Vee luckily sensed that she was still uncomfortable with speaking. “That’s okay, hun. We’ll move onto the next question—okay?”



Oliver stumbled to the floor.

"What a loser," a pink-and-yellow girl sneered to her best friend before walking away.

He groaned and struggled to pick up his books. His class was on the other side of the building, and the bell rang in two minutes. He couldn’t wait for school to end. He couldn’t wait to get therapy over with and go home to see Aleria and Oskar. He couldn’t wait until Halloween, where he would get to spend the whole night with her and Tom…

Aleria was bored. It was Monday, and she knew she couldn’t go next door, since Oliver and Tom were at school. She wrote in her journal, played with Kyne, and even opened up her old sketch book (which she hasn’t touched in months) and she still couldn’t entertain herself. So she walked to the park where she could swing until she could find something better to do.

The day was beautiful, the sky white with clouds and colourful leaves flying off the trees to fall to the ground. The October chill made it sweater-weather. Autumn was Aleria’s favorite season for many reasons, and she loved taking walks to the park in this kind of atmosphere. It tricked her mind into thinking that things will be alright. And for the moment, she was okay with believing it.

She swung for a good hour until she spotted a yellow school bus make its way around the corner. She grinned when she realized that it meant that school has let out, and Oliver and Tom should be home soon. Walking home with anticipation, she opened the front door to her house to let her mother know where she was going before skipping confidently to the house next door.

Ian answered the door. “Aleria!” He exclaimed, “it’s good to see you, love. I’m about to head out for work, but you can go on upstairs.”

Aleria mumbled a quick hello before stepping inside the cozy house. She tread up the stairs, passing a closed door before ducking into Oliver’s room.

"Oh, hi, Aleria," Tom smiled. "Oli’s not here right now, he’s…out with our mum."

"That’s fine," Aleria nodded. She sat next to Tom, taking up a play station controller and smiling when Oskar came over. "I was thinking about Halloween next Saturday. I can make you guys up to look like zombies."

"That’d be great!" Tom said happily. "So it’s a definite yes, then? You’ll walk around with us?"

“‘Course. I think it’d be better to go out instead of staying in.”

"Glad you’re coming, then," he beamed. He was thrilled to be able to spend more time with his new friend, but even more so thrilled for Oliver to be around her. He felt sorry for his older brother. Tom wasn’t bad at making friends, but Oliver had none. He wanted Oliver to spend as much time with Aleria as he could.

Aleria had her mind on something else. Last time she sat here, she was seeing an eye full of Oliver’s scars and cuts. She thought for a moment—would it be so bad to ask Tom about it? What if Tom didn’t know? Would Tom tell his parents and get Oliver in trouble?…No, Tom had to have at least an idea. They were brothers. Surely, they wouldn’t keep anything like this from each other, right?

"Tom," she tried. "I have something to ask you."

Tom paused the video game and looked at her. “Okay?”

Here goes nothing, she thought. She let out a sigh before speaking, “Yesterday, Oliver took his sweater off and showed me his tattoos. He showed me the sleeve on his arm, and then the skull and coffin on his chest, and…”

She didn’t know what to say. She glanced up at him, waiting for him to register her words. She assumed he got it when his eyes widened a little.

"You saw his wrists."

She merely nodded and fumbled with the hem of her sweater nervously. Would it change things now that she knew?

"Well, never wanted you to find out this way…I figured Oli would tell you when he’s ready."

"Tell me what?" She questioned. She was starting to worry.

Tom was hesitant before answering. “Oli’s suicidal—” Aleria gasped. “—he’s in therapy right now.”

Tom was worried that after Aleria got the gist of what kind of person Oliver was, she wouldn’t want to be around them anymore. Her face kept contorting the more detailed he got. He hoped, one day, that Oliver might forgive him if Aleria decided to cut herself off from them.

"Are you okay, Aleria?"

She nodded. Aleria didn’t know what to say. It was so unrealistic that Oliver did the exact same things as she did.

"What do you think?" Tom continued.

"I…didn’t see that coming."