Tame Chapter 1

The Secret is Out

Monday morning I was staring at my reflection in the mirror as I ran a brush through my thin, long hair. I was nervous about returning to school because I wasn’t sure how I was going to face Mr. Richwood.

I had been up late last night thinking about how I would speak to him. I had made up in my mind that I wouldn’t act any different toward him or Miss Daniels. I just knew that it was going to be hard for me to force a smile when I couldn’t really get over the fact that Mr. Richwood and Miss Daniels were dating.

That night that I had stayed over at Dan’s house had helped me take my mind off Mr. Richwood. On Sunday morning I slept in at Dan’s house until noon since the sugar hangover really took its toll on me. When I got up Dan and I had a late breakfast and then he drove me home. It had been a really fun weekend.

Now here I was forced to face the reality that I would have to return to school and encounter the man that I loved, but who was secretly in love with someone else. The more I thought about it the more nauseous it made me. These feelings convinced me that I was unable to attend school.

I thought about being absent, just for a day so that I could work up my nerves to return, but any way I looked at my absence from school in Mr. Richwood’s eyes would be linked to the secret I had discovered on Friday. It would be pretty obvious since I had abruptly run out of his class on Friday after I figured out he and Miss Daniels were an item. I wasn’t even sure if he was aware of how hurt I was or if he really believe that everything between us was fine with the exception of me harboring a secret for him.

I told myself that if Mr. Richwood thought that things were okay between us then this proved my suspicion that all men truly were slow.

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The walk to school allowed me to spend a few more minutes with my thoughts. With each step I took I convinced myself that it wasn’t too late to turn around and head home. I tried to persuade myself that there was nothing wrong with missing one day of class since my attendance was pretty consistent.

It must have been a mixture of pride or courage that helped me continue the journey to school. I was pretty impressed with myself and I displayed gumption the entire walk. I felt placid when I walked into the busy high school and when I went to my locker. I wasn’t even discouraged when I saw Heather and her group leaning against their lockers flirting with boys.

It was when I was about ten feet from the classroom that I had lost my confidence causing me to freeze stiff like a statue. My feet were telling my mind to help them move, but my mind was far too preoccupied with the sudden panic attack my body was starting to have. I couldn’t move.

A few people walking down the hallway stared at me with raised eyebrows, a few of them muttering to their companions, loud enough for me to hear, something about me being weird. Normally, I would be hurt by such remarks and either change my behavior to gain their approval or run off so that I was out of their sight, but my paralyzed body wouldn’t allow me to react to their insults.

It was when I caught a glimpse of Miss Daniels walking down the hallway that my awoke body from its paralyzed state. I didn’t want to speak to her. I found my strength and made my way into the classroom.

Mr. Richwood was writing something on the board. When I walked in I greeted him good morning and quickly made my way toward the back of the classroom.

“Good morning Amanda,” he said in his cheery way.

I smiled politely as I took my seat. It was almost as if everything was normal, but the truth is that it would never be normal between us. I rested my hand on my head, studying him as he continued to write on the board with his back to me.

I could never be mad at him or hate him for anything. It was going to be hard, but I was going to try to get over what I had learned on Friday. Besides, they were just dating each other. I might even still have a chance.

I felt a sense of relief washing over me as this sudden realization surfaced in my mind. I didn’t have to give up on Mr. Richwood so soon. The only thing him and Miss Daniels were doing was dating. I still had a chance to untangle him from her fingers. There was something about this that made me feel a lot better.

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I had told myself to be nice to Miss Daniels, but the truth was that I couldn’t do it. Later on, when I went to her class for Algebra I made the mistake of being the first person to arrive to her classroom.

“Hi Amanda,” she greeted me in a sincere way.

Without thinking I flashed her a cold stare and muttered a ‘hello’ that was so cold when she heard it had to feel like she had been slapped in the face. Miss Daniels face relieved her disappointment in my greeting toward her, but I didn’t stare at for that long because I took my seat.

I usually made eye contact with her when she lectured us, but during her class I didn’t even bother paying attention. I didn’t discreetly conceal how annoyed I was with her, but instead I pretty much wore my feelings of discontentment with her on my face.

When the bell rang and I made my way to my locker I began to feel a small speck of guilt. I had not only polluted my reputation in Miss Daniels eyes, but I had opened the door for tension for future encounters with her in her classroom. I thought about returning to apologize, but my pride wouldn’t let me.

I was afraid to admit it, but there was something inside of me that was proud of what I had done. It was a part of me that was selfish, clingy, and evil. I was frightened by how largely it was growing inside of me.

I remember when my consideration for apologizing had surfaced in my mind only to be overpowered by a thought that was a stranger to me. Mr. Richwood is mine. She better stay away from him or else something very unpleasant is going to happen.

It was a very unsettling way to think. I tried to dismiss it, but there was a part of me that was trying to hold on to it and agree with it. I shook my head as I made my way to my next class trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

_________________

Around lunch time I was heading toward Mr. Richwood’s class for lunch when I spotted Heather walking down the hall with both her arms wrapped around one of Dan’s arms. She was clinging to him closely laughing at something he was saying.

They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn’t even notice they had walked right by me. I knew I should have been happy for Dan, but the truth was that I couldn’t be because I didn’t trust Heather. She was far too open toward Dan and she’s barely known him for a week. It didn’t make any sense. I just had to talk to Heather about Dan.

I reached the Art room and opened the door. I entered the classroom finding Mr. Richwood sitting at his desk fiddling with his cell phone.

“Hi…,” I said shyly as I took my seat.

It felt slightly awkward being in his presence alone, but I was certain that time would heal this. I wasn’t sure if Mr. Richwood felt slightly uncomfortable with my presence, but if he did he didn’t show it.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Pretty good,”

“Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you something,” he said as he placed his phone on his desk. “Do you remember those sketches you gave me at the beginning of the school year that I said I was going to enter them into an Art contest at the Art Museum?”

With all the things going on in my life, the sketches had completely slipped my mind.

“Yes, I remember. Why?”

“Well I got an e-mail from the contest judges and they told me that a few of the your sketches that I entered have been selected for the finials of their contest. If your work wins their next round you could possibly win a cash reward and have your art on display for a year at the museum. There are other prizes, but that’s those are only two things that I can remember.”

“Really?” I was more surprised by how stunned I sounded. “I didn’t even think it was all that good.”

“It has to be if your work was narrowed down to the top twenty out of a thousand entrees.” Mr. Richwood leaned forward grinning in a way that made me have to look away to avoid blushing at the sight of him. “I hope you realize how talented you are Amanda.”

I stared at my finger nails thinking about how great it felt to have Mr. Richwood’s approval. I wanted to savor this feeling so that it wouldn’t fade away. There was no doubt in my mind that we belonged together. I just wished he could see it and forget about Miss Daniels.

“Thank you, I had a great teacher.” I then asked a random to lift his powerful gaze off me for a moment so that my heart would slow its abnormally fast rate. “What are the prizes again?”

“Uh, I have a flier in the teacher’s office.” Mr. Richwood rose from his chair. “I’m going to run and grab it real quick.”

I nodded and Mr. Richwood made his way out of the classroom. I couldn’t believe that my Art work was really that good. I wouldn’t have even picked art up as a hobby if it wasn’t for Mr. Richwood. If I did win this contest I would feel obligated to share the prize with Mr. Richwood, not due to my feelings for him, but because he was the one who had helped me improve as an artist.

The door swung open and I surprised that Mr. Richwood had returned so quickly when he had just walked out the door a minute ago and the teacher’s offices were located on the opposite side of the school. I quickly recognized the person who entered wasn’t Mr. Richwood, but instead it was Heather.

I was a little caught off guard by her presence which caused me to narrow my eyes at her as she stepped into the classroom. She looked around the room as if she had landed on a new planet and was eager to explore this strange new place.

Heather didn’t address me, but instead she ran her eyes around everything in the classroom, spinning in a small circle in the process as if she expected something to jump out from behind her. After she scanned the classroom for several minutes she finally found it necessary to address me.

“Where’s Mr. Richwood?” she asked while running her eyes across Mr. Richwood’s empty seat and then back over toward me. “I have to ask him something. Do you know where he is? They say he’s usually in here for lunch or something.”

I didn’t care what it was that Heather had to ask Mr. Richwood, but I felt it was necessary that I get her out of here before he came back. Heather was going to ruin this time I was spending with Mr. Richwood. I finally had another chance to get close to him and here she comes to ruin it.

“He’s not here and it might be awhile.” I said calmly so that it would sound like the truth. “You should go back to lunch and maybe come back at the end of the day.”

Heather glanced over her shoulder at his desk and then directed her attention back to me suddenly appearing as if she wasn’t in a big rush. I couldn’t tell by the blank expression she had on her face whether or not she believed me. I didn’t care, but I had to get her out of here.

“Really Heather,” I could hear a hint of desperation now surfacing in my tone. “Come back later, it’s going to be awhile. What do you even want from him?”

“Wow Amanda,” Heather said raising her eye brows unusually high and allowing a cynical expression to slide over her face. “Is there a reason why you’re so eager for me leave? Why do you care what it is that I have to ask him?”

I flashed her a blank stare unsure of how to address this statement. Heather filled the long silence by allowing herself to laughed in an amused kind of way that resembled the kind of laugh you’d hear when a bully picks on a kid that is weaker than them.

“Amanda, you really think I’m dumb, huh? I know this is some kind of plan to distract me from Mr. Richwood. It’s just like your Dan plot, huh? Ashley told me that she saw Dan giving you a ride home from school last week.”

I felt a small sinking in my heart when Heather revealed this to me. I thought we had done a good job at being discreet, but apparently not if Ashley had seen us and told Heather about our friendship. I stared at her.

“Really Amanda? What was your plan? Make me fall in love with Dan and then I would forget about Mr. Richwood? It’s so predictable I could laugh.” Heather clasped her hands together. “It sounds like a movie, but the thing is I’m much more closer to Mr. Richwood than you think so your little plan would have failed even if Ashley didn’t find out about you and Dan.”

I couldn’t think straight. I had to clarify to Heather that Dan wasn’t in on this plan. He truly did love her and if she thought he was in on the plan she was going to be cruel to him and hurt him without even realizing that Dan’s feelings were real.

“Heather listen,” I said determined to persuade her that what she was thinking was wrong. “Dan wasn’t in on this. Please don’t take it out on him. He really does like you.”

“Why can’t you realize,” asked Heather. “that men are stupid creatures?” Heather rested the palm of her hand on her heart. “If someone like me can manipulate them then they’re just a lost cause.”

“Please Heather,” I said. “Please don’t hurt Dan. He really didn’t know anything about this. You have to believe me.”

I wasn’t sure if Heather was listening to me or not, but she walked around Mr. Richwood’s desk until she was standing in front of his chair staring down at something on his desk. I continued to plead with her, but found myself silent when I watched her pick up Mr. Richwood’s phone that he had left on his desk.

“What are you doing?” I asked defensively.

Heather’s eyes were locked on the phone and her fingers were moving like lightning as she pressed buttons she had no authority to press. I rose from my seat, feeling obligated to protect Mr. Richwood’s privacy.

“Mind your own business,” Heather said, probably not realizing the irony of her statement. “I’m just reading his text messages.”

In a second I was out of my chair and around the desk trying to grab Mr. Richwood’s phone from Heather. She dodged me as I went to grab the phone from her by climbing up on top of Mr. Richwood’s desk. She was standing on the surface of the desk acting oblivious to me who was now climbing on top of his chair trying to swipe his phone from her hands.

I reached around Heather and my fingers brushed across the surface of the phone, but before I could grasp it she leaped off his desk onto floor on the other side.

“Heather put his phone back!”

Heather turned around to face me and her eyes lit up like fireworks causing her mouth to drop open. She lifted her eyes from the cell phone and on to me and then back to the phone.

“Oh my…Amanda, Mr. Richwood is dating Miss Daniels!” her eyes were fluttering like a camera lens. She held the phone up for me to see the screen. “Can you believe this? Read these text messages!!”

If Heather knew about Mr. Richwood and Miss Daniels, then there was no way to guarantee that she wouldn’t tell anyone.

“Heather,” I said nervously. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Wait,” she grimaced at me. “You knew about this?”

“If you tell people then Mr. Richwood and Miss Daniels might get in trouble. You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone.”

Heather had a disgusted look on her face.

“No, the whole school needs to know about this.”

Heather walked over and dropped Mr. Richwood’s phone back on his desk and then headed toward the classroom door. I raced over to the door, blocking her way before she had a chance to walk out of the classroom.

“Heather you can’t,” I said with panic surging through me. “He might get fired! We’ll never see him again. I’m begging you please don’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t care Amanda,” she crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head in disgust. “He made a fool out of me by making me think he was single.”

I couldn’t control my rage. Heather had to be the most selfish person that I had ever met. She was only looking at this entire situation from her own point of view.

“He didn’t make you look like a fool,” I blurted out. “You made yourself look like a fool. He was obviously not interested in you, but you couldn’t get the hint.”

Heather rolled her eyes and began to curse Miss Daniels with every insult and derogatory remark she could think of. When she ran out of insults she directed her attention over to me.

“Listen Amanda, no one makes a fool out of Heather Drysdale. I’m going to make sure the entire school knows his little secret.”

Heather shoved my now limp body out of the way and then made her way outside of the classroom. I felt heartbroken because Heather was going to get Mr. Richwood fired.