Paint You Wings.

⊱⊱ Alex Gaskarth ⊰⊰

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?"

Flyzik gave a puzzled look. "I mean exactly that. She left. She's probably on a plane, right now."

My eyes widened as I stared at him in confusion. "What? Why wouldn't she tell me?"

"She did..." He trailed off.

"No, she didn't." I shook my head. "Why'd she go home?"

Flyzik shrugged his shoulders. "Something about a family emergency. She told me that she already told you."

I narrowed my eyes over at her. "But she didn't. Are you keeping something from me?"

Flyzik threw his hands up in exasperation. "No, I'm not." He grabbed an old newspaper, flipping it open and pointing to something on it. "There."

I need to go home. Where's my passport?

Family stuff.

I already told him.

I recognised her handwriting. And it didn't take a genius to figure out that the 'him' she was referring to was me. Heaving a sigh, I patted Flyzik on the shoulder, shooting him an apologetic smile before I headed back towards the bunk.

Just a few days, and then maybe I can convince her to come out on tour again. I'll survive. I think.

After sending a quick goodnight text to the girl I was already starting to miss, I shut my eyes and waited for sleep to come. But honestly, I don't sleep at all without her pressed up against me. If only the sheets that I was laying on were the states; I'd be able to just fold them end over end, bringing her closer to me.

But they're not, so I'm merely lost in empty pillow talk.



Jack was pissed at me. So was Vinny.

I don't know why, but they'd both been avoiding me since I woke up; shooting me deadly glares whenever I caught either of their eyes. To top it off, Riley didn't reply my text from last night. I texted her a couple more times in the morning, but I got nothing. And I know she read the texts - thank you iMessage - but she didn't reply them. I kept trying to tell myself that she was preoccupied with spending time with her family, who was probably Linc and Charlie, but I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Okay -" I grabbed Jack's arm as he walked by me the moment I walked into the merch tent. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jack said nothing, only ripping his arm away from my grip as though my touch had physically burned him, then continuing to walk away. I grabbed his shoulder again, pulling him back. He shrugged me off, chest heaving up and down. He was angry. No, scratch that, he wasn't angry. He was livid.

"Would you just tell me what's wrong?!" I almost yelled, both of our eyes shielded by sunglasses though I could feel his glare digging into my skin.

"I actually liked Riley, you know." He spoke, his voice low and monotonous. "I thought, hey, this chick's made my best friend happy. She's gonna stick around, because Alex won't do what he did with the whole Lisa thing - randomly hooking up with people even though he's in a relationship. Then you go and do that. So fuck you, Alex. Stay away from me until you've stopped being an asshole."

He shoved me off again, leaving me confused. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I called after him, once I'd processed what he said. Randomly hooking up? What?

Vinny shoved his phone in my hands and then he, too, walked away. My eyebrows knotted together as I watched him catch up to Jack, nudging him lightly. My eyes darted down to the illuminated screen. It was a text, from Riley.

I overhead Alex telling that girl he sings the duet with that I'm pathetic 'cause I don't speak. So I left. I have too much shit to deal with and this doesn't make any of it any easier. I'm sorry, but I already knew this was bound to happen. Thank you for being a friend and sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye x

My heart dropped to my stomach at the text. I know what she heard, but she heard it in a totally wrong context. I assume that she thought I was drunk and sneaking around with Tay, that was why she left. She was wrong, though. So fucking wrong.

Tay leaned against the bark of the tree, eyeing me as I took a swig from the bottle of Jack I had in my hand. She mirrored my actions; her eyes darting over to where our bus was parked.

"Who's the chick?" She asked bluntly, her tone laced with bitterness.

"What's it to you?" I shrugged uncaringly, taking another swig from my beer.

Tay smirked devilishly, also taking a swig from her bottle. Setting it down on the ground, she slowly walked towards me. "Come on. We all know that you only brought her here to make me jealous." She purred, dragging a hand down my chest, making me flinch slightly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Get over yourself, Tay." I scoffed, shaking my head.

A smirk was still painted along her thin lips. "Please. Everyone here knows that you'd never go for a girl like her."

"And why is that?" I asked, merely for my own amusement. I wanted to see what she had to say.

"She doesn't even fucking talk, it's pathetic." She bit out, laughing.

My jaw clenched, as did my fists. I would've hit her, but I was raised right. Thank my Mom and Dad, Tay. "Oh yeah. 'Cause Riley's a fucking mute, so she's pathetic. How stupid could I ever be to even like her? She's nothing compared to you." I drawled out, earning a giant grin from the black-haired woman in front of me.

"I knew I was right!" She cheered, then advancing towards me. "So -"

"Like I said before: get over yourself." I spat in disgust, cutting off her sentence. "She may not talk, but she's a thousand times wiser and smarter than you'll ever be. She is in no fucking way 'pathetic'. And I don't like her." I stopped, bending my head down so that my mouth was level with her ear. My tone was low, dangerous; a warning to get her to back off.

"I'm fucking in love with her."

Heaving a sigh, I continued walking, ending up at the same area that Riley and I had had our first 'conversation' apart from inside the café. My bare feet kicked at the sand as I walked by the shoreline, flip-flops in hand and jeans folded up so that they wouldn't get wet.

I wasn't even supposed to be in Baltimore right now.

I still had barely two months left of Warped dates, and I didn't want to leave halfway to do this, because of the promise that we made to the fans that we'd play every show. But I couldn't let her slip away through my fingers. I knew from the beginning that I would fight for her. I'd go to the ends of the Earth just for her. So I left Warped, sending out a vague tweet to the fans, and then apologising to the guys before I upped and left.

My first stop was the café, but Linc wouldn't even let me see her. The café wasn't open but he opened the door for me anyway. He glared at me, and I felt like a little kid getting reprimanded by his parents - and he wasn't even saying anything. He was just glaring. When he did speak, his voice was barely above a whisper: "I don't know what you did to her, but you're not welcomed here anymore. Please leave."

The few couples that I walked past while at the beach made me even more depressed. I'd already prepared myself to live out the rest of my life alone, never settling down because no woman would want to be with me. I'd readied myself to die alone.

But ever since Riley... I thought of a new future. One where I could actually see myself getting married to her, having children with her, growing old with her.

"Fuck." I hissed the moment I accidentally kicked at something in the sand. It wasn't just sand, seeing as how my toe was throbbing with pain now.

Hopping about on one foot like a fool for a couple of seconds, I managed to lean down and grab whatever I'd just kicked. When I saw what it was, I froze. It seemed like so long ago when we did it. I wonder where it'd gone since we threw it out into the sea.

I went back to the place where I was sat at with Riley the last time, throwing my flip-flops on the ground and pulling open the cap. I titled the glass bottle upside down, emptying it of its contents of two letters. I rolled open the first one.

It was mine, and it made me smile. Because guess what, past me? I did fall in love with her but I screwed things up (like I always tend to do) and I lost her before I even properly got her.

Glancing down at the other paper, I slowly rolled it open. My eyes widened as I took it in before my lips curled up into a smile. The biggest smile that I'd ever managed to muster ever since I found out part of the reason as to why Riley left.

When I'd joined her that day, I didn't know what she was drawing. Turns out, she was drawing me. The paper wasn't the one that I'd torn up, it was just slightly bigger than mine, but there it was: a very realistic drawing of me. I was sat in the café, at my usual spot. My head was tilted down and I was smiling, as my hand rested on the notebook, pen in hand and the tip hovering over the page.

This is Alex Gaskarth. He's got a really lopsided smile, but it's rather adorable. He's in a band. He writes the best songs. He's really talented. He's kind. He's polite. He's compassionate. He's friendly. He's... Alex.

But I'm afraid of him.

Because even though I've just met him, I can see myself falling in love with him. And he'd never love me back, for he could do so much better than me.

So if whoever's reading this happens to meet this man, and maybe, date him, love him with all your heart. Because though he may not seem like it, he's also just Alex - the man that is simply looking for love.

Maybe it was the letter, or maybe it was something else. But in less than a minute, I was running back to the café and I wasn't going to leave until I saw Riley and told her that I loved her.



I was drenched, because for some reason - it decided to rain. Like, heavily. The rain poured down like cats and dogs as I ran from the beach over to the café. It was practically the beginning of summer and the weather was killer hot only a couple hours ago. Fuckin' nature.

Although... Luck was on my side, for when I'd arrived at the café - there was no sign of Linc. Riley was curled up in one of the booths, head rested on the glass pane as she stared through the glass, at the rain, her sketchbook untouched in front of her. I pushed open the door, successfully opening it even though it was supposed to be locked. Riley glanced up as the bell made a small chiming noise.

Her eyes widened and she started to shake her head, making a move to slide out of the booth but I rushed forward, kneeling in front of her as she sat at the end of the seat, grabbing her wrists firmly, but not enough to hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her. God no, I'd rather die than hurt her on purpose.

"Just, listen to me." I spoke, my voice begging and pleading. "I love you, okay? I fucking love you. What you heard - it's what I said, yes, but you didn't hear what I said after that. I said that you were in no way pathetic and you're a thousand times better than Tay would --- listen to me!" I almost shouted in annoyance as she shook her head stubbornly, trying to tug herself away.

"Please, just... Listen to me." I begged again. "I have nothing going on with Tay. It's you that I want. I don't want you because I lost you. I want you because you're you. You're beautiful, you're wise, you're sarcastic, you're funny, you're talented, you're Riley. You're my perfect imperfection. You're my Riley. I fucking love you so much that it hurts. I just, I can't... I can't do this without you. I can't do anything without you. I can't lose you. You're my best friend, and I can't lose you, too." My voice was barely above a whisper.

I really wish you were here, Tom. You were always better with words than I was.

She'd stopped struggling, so I let her wrists go, running my fingers through my damp hair. "Look, I'm not expecting you to say it back, but I just... I just want you to know that. And I'm sorry for ever hurting you."

I got to my feet, looking at her as she just stared blankly at her sketchbook. Heaving an internal sigh, I rubbed at my eyes. My cheeks were wet. I didn't even realise I was crying. "I love you and I will wait forever and a day for you; no January will be too harsh, because time is but a matter of context - as long as I get to hold you in my arms again."

Then I left the café, knowing full well that she might not even be in love with me and that I might have just completely blew my one chance at happiness. Nice going, Alex. You're probably gonna really die alone.