How We Love
one.
HER
She stood there, fingers grazing the stain on the old football jersey that she wore despite it belonging to him. With such clarity, she could remember that day he got the stain, making a mess of nachos all over their new couch and himself. A part of her had been angry, so angry over the couch but then she had started laughing because the sight of him drenched in nacho cheese was too overwhelming.
Feeling sick to her stomach, Sara dropped the part of the fabric that she had been holding and forced herself off the couch to go to the kitchen and make coffee. She couldn’t bare letting her mind linger on him for more than a few minutes before she got consumed with it all. A new habit had formed where she’d stand with the front door open, as if he’d come walking down that road at any moment and she could just see him one more time.
One more time.
Everyone told her the same thing, that he was doing a service for the country. He was brave to be out there. He’ll be home and a hero. Sara never doubted a single word that they said, but she felt selfish, so selfish for wanting him home now and to herself. When he’d left, she’d kept her lips shut tight and refused to beg him to stay. It would have been hopeless anyway. Days like these always proved to be harder, when he was all around her and she couldn’t escape the void in her life left by him.
When it’s all over, he’ll be home. This is how we have to love; apart. So far away from each other. But this is how we love now. Separate and yet, together. Sara told herself once more as she walked to the door and opened it, leaning against the frame with her mug held closer to her.
HIM
Bright colors.
All at once, he saw the bright colors that came across the sky and for a moment, he felt confused. It was sunset, he realized. Sleep had taken over him and now there was nothing but bright pinks, oranges, and the explosion of the sunset that always made him feel like home. Colton wanted desperately to be home with Sara. She was the only person he could think of and the only person he wanted to see. It felt like so long.
The strain of being away from him continued to drag him down despite how much he tried to fight against it. The sooner he could be near her again, the better. All the nightmares kept him from sleeping much and the long months of war had their impact on him. It never seemed like he was away from it all even though he was. Sara, his heart, kept him through it all. As more came into his vision, Colton realized that he was almost there. Almost home.
His feet hit the road, bag over his shoulder. There was such a long way to walk to get to the house, but he didn’t care as she started forward. Another step brought him one step closer to Sara. Memories, thoughts, and emotions rushed in him like a waterfall. It crashed down and brought nothing but nervousness to him as he continued walking.
Soon, the door was in front of him and by that time, night had fallen. All the lights were off and everything was silent, but Colton still continued forward.
I’m home now. I still feel so far away, but I’m home now. This is how we love. Through it all, this is how we love. Colton told himself as he dropped his bag and continued up the stairs.
HER
The bed always felt so empty when she was just by herself, making Sara always have to take up the other side with pillows that she curled up to with the idea of it being Colton. Every part of her just begged for him to be close, even if it was just for one more night. She needed him in order to function. Their love wasn’t something ordinary. It was something extraordinary.
Asleep, Sara sighed as she rolled over and her dreams kept her mind at bay. It didn’t help keep her asleep when she felt something shocking her skin, a touch of something she couldn’t place. Scared, Sara’s eyes flew open as her body woke up and she shot up to look around the room.
There he stood. Colton.
Her breathing became short, her eyes glistened with tears, and her entire body felt like it was floating in a limbo. She could see him, he was really there. He’d come home. Sara had thought war would take him away from her, but he’d come home and now he stood there for her with a smile. Everything about him was just the same minus new scars and his hair that needed to be cut short once more.
“You’re…You’re home!” Sara pushed herself out of bed to make her way to him, wanting to be in his arms once more.
THEM
Colton and Sara both felt the elation of seeing each other, knowing that they were now together. Sara had made her way to him only to end up facing the door. Fear and confusion flooded through her, turning around to see him once more and facing her. This time, he had a sad look on his face.
“Sara. I only have one day with you. The last day.” He said with his voice low and wavering.
He wasn’t himself, something was different and he’d known it all along while she started to put it all together. Both of them wanted it all to be a lie, for this to not be real. Sara didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t want to lose her.
The truth was plain. It was clear.
He was dead.
She was alive.
“No, no, no, no…” Sara sobbed with her hand covering her mouth and tears coming down her face as Colton came toward her, a hand on her shoulder before arms came around her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I promised you, I would see you again and I’m keeping that promise. Sara, I love you. I’m sorry.”
Colton’s own voice was breaking, his attempt to keep strong for her becoming impossible to do. This would be the last time he would ever get to see the love of his life. The girl he’d spent his entire life loving.
“I-I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you. How do I…Colton…” Sara couldn’t stop her tears; she couldn’t stop her heart from breaking.
“You’re not losing me. I will always be with you. I’ll be far away, but this is how we love. We’re apart, but together. I love you and that’ll never change.”
Her head tilted up to look at him, a hand coming up to try and touch his face. Both of their eyes had nothing but love and heartache in them.
“One day…Our last day together.”
With no other words passed between the two of them, they laid down in bed to face each other. For their day, they stared into each other’s eyes and their eyes spoke everything they needed to say to each other.
Unspoken words of their love for their last day together.
His last day.
Sara had closed her eyes at one point, a smile on her lips as she finally spoke.
“I don’t want to love apart anymore. I want to love close together. I want that to be how we love.”
LATER
“This week’s news features the story of two lovers. Colton James was fighting in the war before he was tragically killed in an explosion with the rest of his unit. Tyler Hicks—a friend who volunteered to tell Colton’s fiancée—reportedly went to the home two days after the news reached of his death and noticed that something wasn’t right. He made his way upstairs where he found Sara Dawson dead in the master bedroom on the bed. She died with a smile on her lips, according to Tyler.
The official report says the death was due to natural causes while she had been sleeping, but the town has spent the week showing their theory of the couple’s death during and after the funeral. Interviewers have been asking all week and most agree that Sara died due to a broken heart, somehow already knowing that her fiancée had died.
This is just another tragic love story to go down in the books.”
She stood there, fingers grazing the stain on the old football jersey that she wore despite it belonging to him. With such clarity, she could remember that day he got the stain, making a mess of nachos all over their new couch and himself. A part of her had been angry, so angry over the couch but then she had started laughing because the sight of him drenched in nacho cheese was too overwhelming.
Feeling sick to her stomach, Sara dropped the part of the fabric that she had been holding and forced herself off the couch to go to the kitchen and make coffee. She couldn’t bare letting her mind linger on him for more than a few minutes before she got consumed with it all. A new habit had formed where she’d stand with the front door open, as if he’d come walking down that road at any moment and she could just see him one more time.
One more time.
Everyone told her the same thing, that he was doing a service for the country. He was brave to be out there. He’ll be home and a hero. Sara never doubted a single word that they said, but she felt selfish, so selfish for wanting him home now and to herself. When he’d left, she’d kept her lips shut tight and refused to beg him to stay. It would have been hopeless anyway. Days like these always proved to be harder, when he was all around her and she couldn’t escape the void in her life left by him.
When it’s all over, he’ll be home. This is how we have to love; apart. So far away from each other. But this is how we love now. Separate and yet, together. Sara told herself once more as she walked to the door and opened it, leaning against the frame with her mug held closer to her.
HIM
Bright colors.
All at once, he saw the bright colors that came across the sky and for a moment, he felt confused. It was sunset, he realized. Sleep had taken over him and now there was nothing but bright pinks, oranges, and the explosion of the sunset that always made him feel like home. Colton wanted desperately to be home with Sara. She was the only person he could think of and the only person he wanted to see. It felt like so long.
The strain of being away from him continued to drag him down despite how much he tried to fight against it. The sooner he could be near her again, the better. All the nightmares kept him from sleeping much and the long months of war had their impact on him. It never seemed like he was away from it all even though he was. Sara, his heart, kept him through it all. As more came into his vision, Colton realized that he was almost there. Almost home.
His feet hit the road, bag over his shoulder. There was such a long way to walk to get to the house, but he didn’t care as she started forward. Another step brought him one step closer to Sara. Memories, thoughts, and emotions rushed in him like a waterfall. It crashed down and brought nothing but nervousness to him as he continued walking.
Soon, the door was in front of him and by that time, night had fallen. All the lights were off and everything was silent, but Colton still continued forward.
I’m home now. I still feel so far away, but I’m home now. This is how we love. Through it all, this is how we love. Colton told himself as he dropped his bag and continued up the stairs.
HER
The bed always felt so empty when she was just by herself, making Sara always have to take up the other side with pillows that she curled up to with the idea of it being Colton. Every part of her just begged for him to be close, even if it was just for one more night. She needed him in order to function. Their love wasn’t something ordinary. It was something extraordinary.
Asleep, Sara sighed as she rolled over and her dreams kept her mind at bay. It didn’t help keep her asleep when she felt something shocking her skin, a touch of something she couldn’t place. Scared, Sara’s eyes flew open as her body woke up and she shot up to look around the room.
There he stood. Colton.
Her breathing became short, her eyes glistened with tears, and her entire body felt like it was floating in a limbo. She could see him, he was really there. He’d come home. Sara had thought war would take him away from her, but he’d come home and now he stood there for her with a smile. Everything about him was just the same minus new scars and his hair that needed to be cut short once more.
“You’re…You’re home!” Sara pushed herself out of bed to make her way to him, wanting to be in his arms once more.
THEM
Colton and Sara both felt the elation of seeing each other, knowing that they were now together. Sara had made her way to him only to end up facing the door. Fear and confusion flooded through her, turning around to see him once more and facing her. This time, he had a sad look on his face.
“Sara. I only have one day with you. The last day.” He said with his voice low and wavering.
He wasn’t himself, something was different and he’d known it all along while she started to put it all together. Both of them wanted it all to be a lie, for this to not be real. Sara didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t want to lose her.
The truth was plain. It was clear.
He was dead.
She was alive.
“No, no, no, no…” Sara sobbed with her hand covering her mouth and tears coming down her face as Colton came toward her, a hand on her shoulder before arms came around her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I promised you, I would see you again and I’m keeping that promise. Sara, I love you. I’m sorry.”
Colton’s own voice was breaking, his attempt to keep strong for her becoming impossible to do. This would be the last time he would ever get to see the love of his life. The girl he’d spent his entire life loving.
“I-I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you. How do I…Colton…” Sara couldn’t stop her tears; she couldn’t stop her heart from breaking.
“You’re not losing me. I will always be with you. I’ll be far away, but this is how we love. We’re apart, but together. I love you and that’ll never change.”
Her head tilted up to look at him, a hand coming up to try and touch his face. Both of their eyes had nothing but love and heartache in them.
“One day…Our last day together.”
With no other words passed between the two of them, they laid down in bed to face each other. For their day, they stared into each other’s eyes and their eyes spoke everything they needed to say to each other.
Unspoken words of their love for their last day together.
His last day.
Sara had closed her eyes at one point, a smile on her lips as she finally spoke.
“I don’t want to love apart anymore. I want to love close together. I want that to be how we love.”
LATER
“This week’s news features the story of two lovers. Colton James was fighting in the war before he was tragically killed in an explosion with the rest of his unit. Tyler Hicks—a friend who volunteered to tell Colton’s fiancée—reportedly went to the home two days after the news reached of his death and noticed that something wasn’t right. He made his way upstairs where he found Sara Dawson dead in the master bedroom on the bed. She died with a smile on her lips, according to Tyler.
The official report says the death was due to natural causes while she had been sleeping, but the town has spent the week showing their theory of the couple’s death during and after the funeral. Interviewers have been asking all week and most agree that Sara died due to a broken heart, somehow already knowing that her fiancée had died.
This is just another tragic love story to go down in the books.”