Suicide Diary
The Next Few Days
At school I quit talking to people. I became the one no one knew. I became the "weird" girl or the "scarry" girl. Then one day this boy in my math class saw my arm.
" Oh my god! Her arm is covered in lines," he yelled, " She cuts herself!"
I pulled my sleaves over my red wrists so fast. I wanted to turn around and hit him so hard. Luckily the teacher did not hear him. But the whole class did. I ran out and hid in the bathroom crying for the next few hours. I ran to the paper towl dispencer and started rubbing my wrist against the teeth of it untill my wrist had torn open and blood covered the end of the paper towls. It didnt hurt. It just tingled a little. I dont et how people say " Why would you hurt yourself like that?" After a while it did start to hurt though.
I was walking in the halway, and I noticed something. Some one was fallowing me. Who was it. I turned around realy quick.
And there he was.
I screamed. "You know what you have done to me? Do you know what you did?"
He just looked at me and gave me this sinacle smile. Like nothing had hapend. Nothing was wrong. But oh, was he wrong. He then turned and then slowly walked away. I turned right around and ran back into the bathroom. I had no razors. So once again I turned to the paper towl rack and starting rubbing again.
I did this for the next few days. After that first week of being addicted to cutting i started carieing a safty pin or a razor in my pocket. And when ever I felt the need to do it I had what I needed. People never suspected anything. They thought I'd never do this. People thought I was okay. Did they not notice my tears in the halls? If so why do they just let me cry? What is wrong with me? These were the things running through my mind over the past few days. Am I realy crazy? Do I need help? God please give me some answers.
" Oh my god! Her arm is covered in lines," he yelled, " She cuts herself!"
I pulled my sleaves over my red wrists so fast. I wanted to turn around and hit him so hard. Luckily the teacher did not hear him. But the whole class did. I ran out and hid in the bathroom crying for the next few hours. I ran to the paper towl dispencer and started rubbing my wrist against the teeth of it untill my wrist had torn open and blood covered the end of the paper towls. It didnt hurt. It just tingled a little. I dont et how people say " Why would you hurt yourself like that?" After a while it did start to hurt though.
I was walking in the halway, and I noticed something. Some one was fallowing me. Who was it. I turned around realy quick.
And there he was.
I screamed. "You know what you have done to me? Do you know what you did?"
He just looked at me and gave me this sinacle smile. Like nothing had hapend. Nothing was wrong. But oh, was he wrong. He then turned and then slowly walked away. I turned right around and ran back into the bathroom. I had no razors. So once again I turned to the paper towl rack and starting rubbing again.
I did this for the next few days. After that first week of being addicted to cutting i started carieing a safty pin or a razor in my pocket. And when ever I felt the need to do it I had what I needed. People never suspected anything. They thought I'd never do this. People thought I was okay. Did they not notice my tears in the halls? If so why do they just let me cry? What is wrong with me? These were the things running through my mind over the past few days. Am I realy crazy? Do I need help? God please give me some answers.